Author: Stilgherrian

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10 phrases guaranteed to annoy

According to a survey done at SpeakStrong, these are the 10 most offensive phrases you can use in oral or written communication (in America, presumably).

  • I’m done with you.
  • I don’t care.
  • I couldn’t care less.
  • If you say so.
  • I’m just a clerk.
  • Bite me.
  • Whatever.
  • What’s your problem?
  • It’s not my job.
  • Shut up.

Thanks to Connected Content for the pointer and further suggestions.

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The aim of PR

There’s two kinds o’people. Those who pay to be in the media, and those who are paid to be in the media. The aim of PR is to get you into the second group.

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Paris Hilton, branding expert (apparently)

OK, I know that at one level I’m being sucked in by the very cult of celebrity I despise by even mentioning this, but… Paris Hilton has been offered a million dollars to teach a one-hour class on “How to Build Your Brand.”

Bill Zanker, president of The Learning Annex, previously paid Donald Trump $1.5M to lecture his students, so he must reckon Paris is roughly 67% as good:

“She’s a brilliant entrepreneur. I believe she can offer her knowledge and give back to other entrepreneurs. She’s obviously brilliant, and my students would love her.”

Bill, I’ll give you the Paris lessons for free:

  1. Start off rich. If you’re rich, you’ll automatically be invited to parties where paparazzi swarm. And without having to work for a living, you’ll have time for all the parties.
  2. Start off stupid. If people see that you’re rich and stupid, they’ll reckon it’ll be easy to separate the fool from her money. You’ll get a lot of attention. Just ask Rob Mills.
  3. Slut around like there’s no tomorrow. There’ll be plenty of Names at those parties. Pick a few and pork away! It’s all a numbers game anyway, so you’re aiming for quantity, not quality.

Et voila! An instantly-recognisable global brand!

Thanks (well, I guess it’s thanks) to Zern Liew for emailing me this vital information privately.