Author: Stilgherrian

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Sexually Dangerous Female

I’m continually astounded by the sheer variety of human sexual experience. My thanks to a certain friend in Melbourne for alerting me to this piece about Illinois’ first “sexually dangerous” female, from Vice Magazine.

Insider Art

To help the search engines, I’ll repeat the text…

During the majority of my three-month stint in Woodford County Jail, I shared the pod with a 17-year-old girl named Tammy Wheeler, whom I nicknamed the Squealer. She had the mentality of a five-year-old and the sexual urges of a nymphomaniac. At one point, everything that she had in her cell had to be confiscated so she would not insert it in herself. I have some really awesome outsider art from her, as well as notes she wrote containing things like “I want to make your puss quiver. You are like a buttyful flower.” One of her drawings consists of stick figures with gigantic penises surrounded by various-size floating penises, for example. I have several different drawings and writings. Her handwriting is very childlike with an enormous amount of misspelling. She was arrested for child molestation and is the first female in the state of Illinois to be declared “sexually dangerous”. “Here are some copies of the things she made for me Further examples of Tammy Wheeler’s drawings. Her shit is hilarious.

Thank you, DANA GUSLER, Via email

The reader comments are an interesting read too, but for different reasons.

So is this a genuine letter, or is the “outsider art” fake?

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Morris Iemma, you f—wit!

What a stupid fuss last week, just because NSW Premier Morris Iemma referred to someone as a “f—wit”. Really, it’s the kind of language you can hear on the bus any old day. But the fact that it got into the media demonstrates Iemma’s basic incompetence.

The Sydney Morning Herald quoted Iemma’s words last Saturday. He was talking with Victorian Premier, Steve Bracks:

Bracks: “Any issues at home in NSW?”

Iemma: “Today, um, well this f***wit is the new CEO of the Cross City Tunnel and has been saying, ‘Oh, well, what controversy? There is no controversy.'”

Iemma’s manner was “relaxed and jovial”, says the Herald. The comment was “off-the-cuff”. In other words, it exactly the sort of thing an Aussie block would do to express his frustration.

Big deal.

What the NSW ALP should really worry about is the incompetence this demonstrates.

Iemma says he didn’t realise that the microphones were turned on. But one of the first things you learn in the media is to assume every microphone and every camera is live — unless you know specifically that it’s not.

Is Iemma really such a newcomer that he doesn’t know this? It shows what happens when you choose a Premier based on factional deals rather than assessing his or her skills.

But hey, who could the NSW ALP pick that’d be any better?

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Collateral Damage

In Sydney’s Inner West, the Cockroach is King. Every householder wages Continuous War against the Small Brown Beast.

We try to stick with conventional weapons — physical force, hunting, stalking, persuasion and satire. But sometimes that isn’t enough.

An innocent preying mantis is killed in the Endless Cockroach War

Australia led the diplomatic battle against chemical weapons globally. But we just love them in the kitchen. Bioallethrin, Imiprothrin, Cypermethrin, Biorespethrin — the sort of thing which, if possessed by the likes of Saddam Hussein, would trigger another Gulf War.

And so the noble and innocent mantis, our ally in the great struggle against the Small Brown Beast, makes the mistake of walking where the chemicals lie in silence. And he dies a lingering death.

Household protection for up to six months. Ultra low allergenic.