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Game on!

Photograph of Malcolm Turnbull

So, will Malcolm Turnbull (left) be Prime Minister by tomorrow? Sky News has just reported that foreign minister Alexander Downer and environment minister Malcolm Turnbull no longer believe Prime Minister John Howard should lead the Liberals.

Sky News says both of them have spoken to John Howard about the leadership. I’m listening to ABC News Radio just now, though, and they say Howard’s denying the conversations took place.

Someone here is lying: Turnbull and Downer, Sky News, or John Howard. Now which of those has the best track rcord for being truthful, eh?

It certainly appears like it’s game on for a leadership challenge. If so, coming just a few weeks before a federal election makes this the biggest political event of more than a decade. Every newsroom in the nation has just gone to red alert. Fun fun fun.

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The tyranny of the ideal

A spot-on observation from Dave Snowden:

…autocratic managers and the dark side of management consultancy have discovered how to keep their penny and still eat the bun.

The way it works is this. You spend a lot of money putting in control systems based on idealised process flows and ways of working. This applies in customer relationship management and health & safety alike along with many other fields. It looks really good on the flow charts. However the day to day reality of dealing with customers, or doing the job (say on an oil rig) means that people have to break the rules. Your business depends on their doing so and as long as it has a good outcome you ignore it. However if something goes wrong, you bring out that rule book and the idealised model and now you have someone to blame: the poor schmuck who has been making your business work for you.

Thanks to Johnnie Moore for the pointer.

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Watching the government implode

Photograph of John Howard and Janelle Howard at the Commonwealth Games in 2006

How can I be expected to do any “constructive” work today when there’s such wonderful entertainment on offer: the Howard government imploding so, so fast.

Spend some time looking at this photo of John and Hyacinth (left) in happier times, the 2006 Commonwealth Games in Melbourne, because there may not be any more happy times for these two.

(Even in this photo, though, it looks like our Prime Minister would rather be somewhere else — though Hyacinth seems to be, well, excited.)

Even in the few hours since I suggested Malcolm Turnbull would be the Coalition’s best choice to fight a rearguard action, and about Howard’s submissive body language, there’s been two fascinating developments.

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Howard’s submissive body language

Photograph of John Howard with George W Bush

John Howard’s body language worries me. I want a leader, a statesmen to lead Australia, not a lapdog.

Some years ago, the ABC had vision of Howard greeting some visiting American dignitaries — I think Colin Powell was one of them. Anyway, as people got out of limos and approached each other the US visitors strode forward, calm and confident. Meanwhile Howard hunched down and cautiously extended his hand in a classic primate gesture of submission.

It was like a small-time shopkeeper receiving a visit from The Big City Bank Manager. It was embarrassing.

On the weekend, Howard was still behaving like a puppy-dog to George W Bush, as I think the photo (right) from the Sydney Morning Herald shows. OK, it’s only one frame, but I think it shows a nervous John Howard anxiously looking for approval from The Boss. What do you think?

But hey, have a look at the rest of the photos. At least Hyacinth is in her element. A shame Laura couldn’t make it, eh love?

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Who’ll be PM on Wednesday?

Cover of John Winston Howard: The Biography

It’s a good thing John Howard’s very bestest of best friends George W Bush left APEC a day early. Howard could avoid talking about yet another fall in the opinion polls.

On the cover of the recent Howard biography (left), the Man of Steel looks stern and concerned. Apt. If those poll figures are repeated on election day, even with the usual minor swing back to stability, it won’t just be a Labor victory. It’ll be a complete rout of the Liberal/National Coalition.

APEC won’t be the poll boost Howard was looking for. John’s Bestest Best Friend stumbled through his speech like a village idiot — you choose good friends, John! Kevin Rudd looked like a 21st century statesman, cracking jokes in Mandarin with the Chinese president.

Pretty much everybody is saying it’s time for Howard to go — as Annabel Crabb’s witty poem makes clear. But the Man of Steel is in his bunker, fighting to the end.

I do intend to contest [the election], I intend to contest it as leader. That question was settled last year.

In the SMH today, Peter Hartcher says the Coalition would be mad to switch leaders now. I disagree.

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Film Review: “Lady Chatterley”

Photograph of Jean-Louis Coulloc’h and Marina Hands in the film Lady Chatterley

I don’t normally review films. But this isn’t so much a review of the new Lady Chatterley but a review of the audience.

The film is based on D H Lawrence’s 1927 book John Thomas and Lady Jane, the first and less-well-known version of the story which was re-written as the controversial Lady Chatterley’s Lover and published in 1928.

Controversial? Oh yes! Explicit sex scenes, four-letter words, and perhaps the most scandalous aspect: the love affair was between an aristocratic woman and a gamekeeper. Crossing class boundaries! England shall fall! Read all about it.

Now you may think that society has changed since 1927. But no, our audience proved otherwise.

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