Look, mum, no hands!

Photograph of Porsche 2400 Turbo hand dryer, with an image of a kangaroo and an emu drying their hands

This just has to be the classiest allusion to the Coat of Arms of the Commonwealth of Australia ever, no?

This image is printed on the front of the Porsche 2400 Turbo hand dryer, as seen in the men’s toilet at the Cyprus Community Club here in Sydney. And it is truly beautiful, don’t you think?

The kangaroo holding out its paws to dry is such a subtle indication that (a) we’re looking at a hand dryer and (b) it’s made in Australia.

And the emu! Does it feel envious of the roo, unable to present hands at all? Or does it smirk in quiet self-satisfaction, happy in the knowledge that it has feathers?

Bisexual snail orgy

Photograph of snails

I was shocked. Early this morning every single agapanthus plant in our back yard was covered in snails. They’d climbed up onto the leaves — and they were having sex.

Hundreds and hundreds of snails engaged in a filthy hermaphroditic bisexual snail orgy!

I raced inside to get a camera. I couldn’t find The Good Camera quickly enough, so I grabbed my phone.

But the forecast is for a 34C maximum today — in October! The sun was rising, and so was the temperature. The snails were retreating.

I only had time to grab a quick, blurry image of this pair (pictured), going their separate ways after a morning of debauchery. Sluts.

Polite!

Photograph of people ignoring food

The food is laid out, ready to eat, but everyone’s waiting for someone else to make the first move.

This photo was taken at the close of the Marrickville Contemporary Art Prize exhibition on Sunday. Eventually the woman in the blue top sliced into the cheese — and suddenly the spell was broken!

’Pong tells me that in Thai, the very last piece on a plate is called “the polite piece” — the piece everyone is too polite to take.