“Discount anal videos”

That was the content of the very first email I received in 2007. Sure, it was spam, so the subject matter was kinda predictable. But there are some sentences that should never contain the word “discount”, and that’s one of them.

Royal Navy’s first ever gay sex

According to that ever-reliable journal, The Sun, fitness instructor Sam Connell is the Royal Navy‘s first ever male trainer to be accused of a sexual liaison with a male recruit. That’s right, the very first. Ever.

Now it just so happens that Mr Connell is a finalist in Mr Gay UK. And while the prize money is only £5000, it strikes me that having his photo in The Sun won’t harm his post-RN career path. A hunky “I was a sailor” fitness instructor should do quite nicely.

And thank you to Richard Watts for keeping his eye on the tabloids. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

iPod-powered Vibrator

OhMiBod Music Powered Vibrator The promotional copy tells you everything you need to know:

The OhMiBod vibrator is a whole new way to enjoy your iPod® or any other music player. Everyone loves music. Everyone loves sex. OhMiBod combines music and pleasure to create the ultimate acsexsory™ to your iPod.

What’s especially impressive is their use of iTunes playlists:

OMB users can instantly (and anonymously) become part of a fun, hip community called CLUB VIBE, where other OMB aficionados write about their experience, trade tips, share their favorite playlists, and more. Log into iTunes and search “OhMiBod” under the iMix section and see what music is turning other people on and purchase those songs quickly and easily! Regardless of the musical genre you are sure to find new amazing music here. If you don’t see something that tickles your fancy, upload your own iMix and share with others what works for you!

Oddly enough, the fine print says this product isn’t endorsed by Apple…

Sexually Dangerous Female

I’m continually astounded by the sheer variety of human sexual experience. My thanks to a certain friend in Melbourne for alerting me to this piece about Illinois’ first “sexually dangerous” female, from Vice Magazine.

Insider Art

To help the search engines, I’ll repeat the text…

During the majority of my three-month stint in Woodford County Jail, I shared the pod with a 17-year-old girl named Tammy Wheeler, whom I nicknamed the Squealer. She had the mentality of a five-year-old and the sexual urges of a nymphomaniac. At one point, everything that she had in her cell had to be confiscated so she would not insert it in herself. I have some really awesome outsider art from her, as well as notes she wrote containing things like “I want to make your puss quiver. You are like a buttyful flower.” One of her drawings consists of stick figures with gigantic penises surrounded by various-size floating penises, for example. I have several different drawings and writings. Her handwriting is very childlike with an enormous amount of misspelling. She was arrested for child molestation and is the first female in the state of Illinois to be declared “sexually dangerous”. “Here are some copies of the things she made for me Further examples of Tammy Wheeler’s drawings. Her shit is hilarious.

Thank you, DANA GUSLER, Via email

The reader comments are an interesting read too, but for different reasons.

So is this a genuine letter, or is the “outsider art” fake?