“Satay tofu burger”? No such thing!

The next time you see a cafĂ© menu listing a “satay tofu burger”, please remember this Venn diagram.

Truly, there is no such thing as a “satay tofu burger”.

A burger has meat in it. Tofu is not meat, even if you cut it into little animal shapes — and that’s just self-deception anyway.

Satay is a peanut sauce for grilled or barbecued meat. If it’s not meat, it should not have satay sauce on it. End of story.

And even if you were using meat, a satay burger? What a wanker!

Who needs a Hummer, really?

Photograph of Hummer vehicle

A year-old post HUMMER to WANKER, originally a silly little piece of wordplay, has triggered a fascinating stream of comments today.

Does a suburban family of four — two adults and two children — really need a big vehicle like a Hummer to get around? I recall that as a kid we didn’t. A normal-sized Holden station wagon, which would even be considered small by today’s standards, did just fine for two adults and two kids and the everyday business of running a farm

Even with a farm, we didn’t need 4WD for the car. That’s what we had a tractor for.

If you want to have your two cents’ worth, do feel free to comment over at the original post.

HUMMER to WANKER

Last night I passed a Hummer parked on Enmore Road. Yes, a big, shiny black beast with silver trim helping to boost some poor man’s failing sense of self-importance. Or something. “What a wanker,” I thought.

I posed the question on Twitter:

Word puzzle: Changing one letter at a time, using only valid words, can you turn HUMMER into WANKER?

I didn’t expect an answer, but some people can’t resist a challenge. Warwick Rendell was first with a 15-step solution, but Steve ‘Doc’ Baty managed to do it in 11 steps.

HUMMER
HAMMER
HARMER
WARMER
WORMER
WORKER
WORKED
WORDED
WARDED
WARDER
WANDER
WANKER

Some people really do have too much time on their hands…

[Update 26 October: If you check the comments, you’ll find that we now have it down to a 6-step solution. Beat that!]