“Satay tofu burger”? No such thing!

The next time you see a café menu listing a “satay tofu burger”, please remember this Venn diagram.

Truly, there is no such thing as a “satay tofu burger”.

A burger has meat in it. Tofu is not meat, even if you cut it into little animal shapes — and that’s just self-deception anyway.

Satay is a peanut sauce for grilled or barbecued meat. If it’s not meat, it should not have satay sauce on it. End of story.

And even if you were using meat, a satay burger? What a wanker!

13 Replies to ““Satay tofu burger”? No such thing!”

  1. I was raised Catholic, so I have an innate talent for hypocrisy. I can thus believe and accept your argument with every fibre of my being while simultaneously enjoying sate tofu… though not a sate tofu burger, because that’s going too far.

  2. It may not be a real thing, but the satay tofu burgers sold by Paul & Fiona at the Sunday Marrickville markets are delicious. Unreal. Delicious. Unrealicious. Nom nom nom.

  3. Tofu with satay sauce is nice. As to the “authenticity” of the experience – bleh.

    If you want to use a fermented soy product in a burger, I think tempeh would be much better. However, you should just use actual meat with a burger. I don’t think either fermented soy product has the right texture to be used in a burger.

  4. Eric, I am onto your cunning ways. You think you can get away with eating it because you call is a “sate tofu burger” not a “satay tofu burger”. That will not wash… and I don’t mean the satay stains, which it probably does too.

  5. Rubbish! Burger comes from Hamburger, derived from Hamburger a citizen of Hamburg. So Burger can be anything from Hamburg? Of course not!!! Burger comes from Burgher, which IIRC means a citizen…

    In any case Burger just applies to the delivery mechanism, not the content, and is to all intents and purposes a SANDWICH.

  6. The Macquarie Dictionary says:

    hamburger noun 1. a flat round cake of minced beef, seasoned and fried.
    2. a round bread roll or bun split into halves and containing between them such meat and usually various garnishes such as onion, salad, fried egg, etc.
    [shortened form of Hamburger steak, that is, steak as it is served in Hamburg2]

    In other words, the Hamburg nature of a hamburger is the “beef, ground with seasoning and fried” bit, not the “served in a bun” bit. Which supports my position entirely. So there.

    @franksting: Bite me.

  7. The Oxford Compact has one for veggie burger – none available for Tofu Burger, which we assume doesn’t really exist then 😉

    • noun a savoury cake resembling a hamburger but made with vegetable protein or soya instead of meat.

    stupid English

  8. I, like Simon, will be enjoying the best tofu satay burger in. the. world. down at the Marrickville markets this Sunday. I think it will taste even better than usual this time!

  9. Eat your tasteless coagulated bean curd as much as you like, people. I couldn’t give a shit. Poison yourself however you like. Just don’t call it a burger unless dead animals are involved. Burgerness, as I say, is about ground and fried meat, not being a sandwich.

  10. Aim: To prove Stilgherrian is correct

    Method: According to Wiktionary, that ever-reliable source:

    burger (plural burgers)
    1. a hamburger or similar sandwich

    hamburger (plural hamburgers)
    1. A hot sandwich consisting of a patty of cooked ground beef, or a meat substitute, in a sliced bun, sometimes also containing salad vegetables, condiments, or both.
    2. The patty used in such a sandwich.
    3. (uncountable) Ground beef, especially that intended to be made into hamburgers.

    (Note: “or a meat substitute”, which I believe includes tofu)


    satay (plural satays)
    [Alternative spellings: satai, saté, sate]
    1. A popular dish made from small pieces of meat or fish grilled on a skewer and served with a spicy peanut sauce, originating from Indonesia and Malaysia.

    (Note: no mention of meat substitute)

    Conclusion: While you can have a tofu burger or a satay burger, you cannot have satay tofu, and hence cannot have a satay tofu burger.


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