Word-whore. I write 'em. I talk 'em. Information, politics, media, and the cybers. I drink. I use bad words. All publication is a political act. All communication is propaganda. All art is pornography. All business is personal. All hail Eris! Vive les poissons rouges sauvages!
While writing an article for Crikey last night — the follow-up to yesterday’s post — I was “inspired” by this frame grab of communications minister Helen Coonan from her interview on The 7.30 Report Monday night.
I cant help but think that the Raccoonan‘s wide-eyed enthusiasm for WiMaX is reminiscent of the Springfield Monorail. She doesn’t understand it, but the salesmen’s convinced her it’s the answer.
MYOB is an annoying company — literally. They annoy me. I’ve written to them about this — but of course like most companies they never bothered replying.
They’ve already sent letters and faxes and emails about renewing before 30 June. Today they phoned. “I’m at a client’s,” I said, “So I can’t talk now. But yes, we’ve received the faxes and we will be renewing before the end of the month.”
Now at that point I’d expect a polite goodbye. Something like “OK, good. Have a nice day, bye.” But no. Mr MYOB sort of stumbled and asked me if I wanted to pay with my credit card.
“No,” I said with a sense of deja vu. “I’m at a client’s, so I can’t talk now.” And of course I’ll give my credit card number to a complete stranger who called me unexpectedly.
Sheesh. I know, software is a competitive industry, there’s a target to meet etc etc. But please be able to understand simple human communication protocols.
Mostly I ignore spam, but I love it when the “random word” subject lines create a joyous concept. Such as today’s effort: geosynchronous taxidermist. Now there’s a speciality!
Yesterday the federal government announced that it’ll give Optus $1 billion to provide wireless broadband to the bush. Good on ’em. Sorting out broadband Internet access was an election promise back in 1995, so it’s only taken 11+ years!
Just think about that. In 1995, a cutting-edge PC was an Intel 486 DX66 with 64MB of RAM and a 2x CD drive. The year’s big software release was Windows 95 — the very first version of Windows with Internet connectivity built-in.
Senator Coonan rejects the claim that the Government has been left behind. “You can’t really say that,” she says, “when you look at the Government’s record in rolling out broadband.”
Can’t you, Senator?
So how come back in 1995, Australia was third in the world in terms of Internet bandwidth and computing power per head of population, while today after a decade of Howard at the helm we don’t even make the top 10?
[Update 22 June 2007: I’m amazed no-one picked up the most obvious mistake in this post. The Optus/Elders plan may be costed at $2 billion but only half of that comes from the taxpayers. I’ve edited the post to fix the mistake.]
I’m a broken chair, abandoned in the street. Other rubbish is piled with me — household items that aren’t worth keeping, but not quite so useless that they go straight into the garbage. Am I happy to be with them, glad of their company? Is the imminent arrival of the garbage truck something to fear, or a long-sought-for liberation?
I’ve just finished recording the narration for ’Pong’s Anywhere Chairs, the short film that’s emerging from his Sydney Songlines project. And I’ve found myself in serious discussions about the emotional state and motivations of… an abandoned chair.
I bet Nicole Kidman doesn’t have this kind of problem.
Further to my brief mention of the Jeremy Boutsakis show A Conference for Sole Traders, here’s some video previews to get your juices flowing. There’s a explanation of the importance of thumbs, the answer to the question What is Australia? and a personal invitation.
Oh and if you’d like to see this show before it closes on 29 June, and you think you can convince me… email me and I’ll give you instructions on how to score a freebie.
Naturally, you’ll need to explain how we can come to some mutually beneficial arrangement in order to qualify for this special offer.
Touch thumbs!