Currently my Facebook status reads:
Stilgherrian is going to tell everyone who Talks Like A Pirate today that they’re a gullible unimaginative fuckwit of a sheep.
Mass-organised opportunities to “do something different”, like International Talk Like a Pirate Day, are just another way in which peer-pressure is deployed to make people conform to certain group behaviours. Yes, you can have fun in your life — but only this kind of fun. And only today.
And the rest of the time you can continue being a dutiful little cog in the machine.
Sorry, I’m capable of making my own fun. And I will decide what sort of fun I have in my life, and the circumstances in which I’ll have it.
And I certainly won’t put up with people exerting peer pressure, saying “X is wondering if Stilgherrian is a ‘Land Lubber’?” How dare you imply I’m behaving unacceptably just because I happen not to join your pathetic mob action.