I was particularly pleased to see a fellow misanthropist produce a nastily whimsical alphabet on Twitter last night. I thought it deserved to be recorded for posterity. And here it is.
A is for Arsehat.
B is for Bastard.
C is for Coprophile.
E is for Eris.
F is for Filth.
G is for Gauleiter.
H is for Herpes.
I is for Ignominy.
Oh yes, one can’t start a tweet with a capital D. D is for Degenerate.
Now, where was I?
J is for Jesus.
K is for Kristallnacht.
L is for Lubricant.
N is for Nudism.
O is for Orifice.
P is for Pistol.
Q is irrelevant, and I shan’t have anything to do with it.
R is for Rotten.
S is for Sodomy.
T is for Tammany Hall.
U is for Uvula.
(No, that’s not what a uvula is. You people are sick. Go look it up on Wikipedia.)
V is for Vulgar.
W is for Wastrel.
And that’s as far as he got. However for the sake of completeness he has this afternoon added the following:
X is for Xenophilia.
Y is for Yes-man.
Z is for Zarathustra.
I can’t help but think this should be illustrated by Edward Gorey, in the style of The Gashlycrumb Tinies.
[Update 4pm:Â The misanthrope writes: I have just noticed I’ve left out M from my alphabet. Oh well. I never liked it much anyway.]