Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

September 17th, 2012

Collapsed. Until tomorrow.

via Janetter for Mac

You know, ABC and friends, if you spend the week in chookheadland demanding Sheridan respond, instead of your jobs, HE WINS.

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If I wanted to ship a sense of perspective to @abc730, how big a box would I need?

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RT @NickBryantOz: ABC’s flagship 730 describes a smallish, unrepresentative protest in Sydney as a “Muslim uprising.” [What arsehats.]

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@mpesce Don’t worry. I’ve arranged things so that my cortisol levels are always nice and high.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mpesce

Maybe I should write an angry blog post about how awful that politician is. That will fix things.

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There are people who are failing to hashtag their TV-related tweets for filtering and Baby Jesus is crying.

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Why you should consider a career in design #66. clientsfromhell.net/post/314763944…

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@RealDavidHeath Thanks. I’ve been enjoying the episodes that take longer-term views, forward or backward.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to RealDavidHeath

Look here, @swearyanthony, Senator Erica is down with the editing of the registry keys. HOW DARE YOU MOCK HER. HIM. WHATEVER.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to swearyanthony

@shiftkey You’re right, though, it’s not a 140-char thing.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to shiftkey

@shiftkey I’m thinking of writing a personal reflection of , but it depends how much mental energy I have this week.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to shiftkey

@toastman I don’t think “kids” ever used the word “desktop”. It was just a “computer”, I’d have thought.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to toastman

@R_Chirgwin I’ll give you a buzz tomorrow to confirm a couple things for next week then. All sounds easy.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@mpesce It’s much easier to do it the other way, and just be offended by everything. Avoids the unhealthy trying-to-hold-in-a-fart tension.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mpesce

@gths I WAS AT THAT PARTY AND IT WAS OARSUM.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to gths

@shiftkey Oh. You were also in 21A on Friday night’s flight when I was in 21C and wanted to stab the man in 21B. I’ll run away now.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to shiftkey

@shiftkey My last APH email from EXCHANGE03.parl.net, IMSS-7.0.0.3220-6.0.0.1038-19178.005, smtp2.aph.gov.au (Postfix). No Lotus here.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to shiftkey

@R_Chirgwin “Showers, chance of a storm” is the forecast.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@Colvinius Mind you, I didn’t notice it either. Spelling isn’t the most-wrong thing about that poster.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to Colvinius

Colvinius This sinister NYPD poster campaign must have cost a few bucks. So how come no-one noticed the word ‘wathtching’? . pic.twitter.com/9RPi08sZ

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:30 PM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@johnb78 All these “wine soaked escapes” seem to require a car, which kinda misses the point.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to johnb78

Parliamentary email security relies on “MPs and senators [to] properly configure access settings”? [slow clap] abc.net.au/news/2012-09-1…

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RT: “Patch Monday” podcast: “Windows 8: Rectangles for all the things explained” by @shanemo @BTRoam zdnet.com/windows-8-rect…

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So I’ve just been sent an email advertising “wine soaked escapes”. Other than not hyphenating the adjective, they seem to know my style.

via Janetter for Mac

“I work for Microsoft, have my personal life in Google, use Apple devices to access it and it all sucks.” hanselman.com/blog/Everythin…

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@R_Chirgwin Ta for the heads-up. We’ll have to coordinate school holidays plans too, I suppose.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@R_Chirgwin The remnants of that cell seem to have just dispersed over Homebush. bom.gov.au/products/IDR71…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

@R_Chirgwin There has been rain. A quick burst when I mentioned it, but shopkeepers told me that it’s been off and on since mid-afternoon.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to R_Chirgwin

“The first thing to say would be that this is not pyramid selling.”

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mtracey Soviet-style NYPD propaganda poster. I’m legitimately flabbergasted. Note the stern visage of Emperor Bloomberg. pic.twitter.com/20oM0VEU

via Camera on iOS (retweeted on 6:27 PM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

I should start asking questions like that when I’m tired and irritable.

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@alexhuds Or is it just “social media editor” c.f. “sports editor” or “motoring editor”?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to alexhuds

@alexhuds So it’s more production apartheid? Proper editors commission stuff, social media editors “curate” (hah!) what the proles make?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to alexhuds

Isn’t the term “social media editor” an oxymoron?

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@johnthelutheran Thank you. Both @crikey_news and I personally have strong disclosure policies. They might as well be fun to read too.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to johnthelutheran

RT @GreenJ: tsk tsk tsk RT @platinumdepot: Exclusive *FIRST LOOK* at Monday’s @australian front page! bit.ly/SsItt4 [Oh dear.]

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Pro Tip: YouTube can save your company HEAPS on video production costs. clientsfromhell.net/post/312095051… Ping @ApostrophePong

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Je suis très fatigué, et aussi fatigué.

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@intrepidfear Thank you, yes, I have a whole bunch of rather similar photos of Crossing the Nepean. Which I haven’t posted.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to intrepidfear

Major  event in progress, but Tim Knappstein’s Enterprise Brewery was built for a reason.

via Plume for Android

RT @BernardKeane: I really miss autos da fé.

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@badgirlofrockxx I’ve also noted a whole family of superb fairy wrens down there. Can’t find the photos just now though.

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Clichéd car advert with house instagr.am/p/PqnQgYiFlz/

via Instagram

I suppose it’d be wrong to call for the beheading of all the smug, self-righteous atheists?

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You can’t see them, but raindrops are starting to spatter the train window instagr.am/p/PqmKSyiFlh/

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OH: “It was like a platypus but with no bottom.”

via Plume for Android

The 1504 arrives, en route to Lithgow instagr.am/p/PqgF-7iFjI/

via Instagram

David Thodey has the patience of a saint. Maybe I should MC the next Telstra shareholder meeting. I’d improve things.

via Plume for Android

I’m heading west, so can someone offer to buy @joshgnosis a very large drink after this? He’ll need it.

via Plume for Android

Oh. Parliament is sitting. Probability of intelligent public policy debate plummets.

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Writers who “explain” things using a superficial comparison to the plot of a shit 30-year-old Hollywood movie.

via Janetter for Mac

@nickstugr @BundyB @chrisbrownie @PointZeroOne Might I suggest cross-matching the timestamp on that photo with my Twitterstream?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to nickstugr

All the massaman. All the Singha.

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Imagining what geriatric care facility fashions will look like when occupied by the current Stonewall twink crowd.

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“Patch Monday” podcast: “Windows 8: Rectangles for all the things explained” by @shanemo @BTRoam zdnet.com/windows-8-rect…

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@joshgnosis So in brief, all these time-wasters are eminently qualified to be setting the direction for a telco in the 21st century.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

@joshgnosis Cool. I’ve always wanted to invest in shares, and it’s important that I get the look right, right?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

@joshgnosis And if you remove the Telstra staff from the equation, you’d be looking more at 65, right?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to joshgnosis

joshgnosis The journalists, media relations and the Telstra retail staff are the only people under 50 here at Telstra’s shareholder meeting.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:04 PM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@R_Chirgwin @ssharwood For some people that scenario world be a real turn-on.

via Plume for Android in reply to R_Chirgwin

Mobile: Check out; lunch nearby; walk to Parramatta station; 1504 train to Wentworth Falls; remainder TBA.

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dobes So good I watched x2 RT @ssharwood: Company launches “case stretcher” to stretch iPhone 4 cases to fit iPhone 5 youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9… By Me

via Hotot (retweeted on 1:40 PM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @SnarkyPlatypus: I don’t even. instagr.am/p/PqVeVmi2lv/ [Excellent idea. I’m going to sell my old rent receipts on eBay.]

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@wolfcat I’m not so certain. Surely we can fix that with Science?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to wolfcat

@wolfcat Well if I were a celebrity I certainly wouldn’t want to have to meet all the fat chicks.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to wolfcat

NewtonMark A mum, cooing to her son in a pram: “You look just like your daddy, don’t you? When I look at you all I see is your worthless fucking daddy”

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 1:28 PM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

franksting Hello everyone. Did we have our chamomile tea this morning?

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 1:24 PM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @dobes: @stilgherrian chance of success: nil [Oh. Hello Chris. How’s everything today? *shuffles feet* *whistles*]

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Lying to my editor.

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Oh good. That previous “Patch Monday” podcast “Porn industry innovates itself to death” is the current “most popular”. zdnet.com/au/porn-indust…

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jimwhimpey Bond University ad

Voiceover: “If the sky was the limit what would you be in life?”
Enthusiastic girl: “A PROJECT MANAGER”

via Twitterrific for Mac (retweeted on 1:13 PM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @miss_shiny: @stilgherrian “chamfered” they’re “chamfered”. [There’s an ointment for that.]

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THERE ARE RUMOURS OF A NEW TELEPHONE THERE ARE GLOBAL DEMANDS TO KNOW HOW EXACTLY THE CORNERS WILL BE ROUNDED BECAUSE PROGRESS.

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The “Patch Monday” podcast, it has been filed. Considering my next moves.

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Rob_Stott A guy in Melbourne has been charged after allegedly breaking into a school and performing a sex act on a mannequin. SO MANY QUESTIONS

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:05 PM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@SnarkyPlatypus @paulkidd So you’re saying hotels should offer loyal customers some gay people as an amenity? No wait.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@mpesce @paulkidd Just to be clear, “executor” and “executioner” are not the same thing. I made that mistake once, but I got away with it.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mpesce

Are you meant to comb a Dead Kitten once it gets bedraggled from over-use?

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@SnarkyPlatypus So the organisation charts are’t produced automatically out of the HR system?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

RT @BundyB: Any reason you choose towels over tarps? [1. The hotel room has towels. 2. Physics.]

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In that special stage of podcast production that requires laying out some towels. True.

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Right. Final production of the “Patch Monday” podcast commences. Quiet please.

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I want to make a joke about The Salmon of Doubt but I’m not quite that much of a wanker.

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@HarrisonPolites Well that’s flattering, thank you, but let’s also remember how comprehensively stupid the Twitterverse is.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to HarrisonPolites

cat_beltane STANLEY MILGRAM STANDIN NEXT2 EACH YOUTUBE COMMENTER, SAYIN “THE EXPERIMENT REQUIRES YOU TO CONTINUE” AS THEY, CRYING, TYPE “DUMB BALLS GAY”

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:13 AM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@mukimu If you think about it long enough, that photo explains so many things. Or possibly that’s just the peyote talking.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mukimu

Yes, Waleed Aly makes sense. But this won’t be read by the folks who mindlessly protest. Muslims or Wikileibers. smh.com.au/opinion/politi…

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@indigoid @BobGrrl @expectproblems @ozdj “Unvendorised” shall be used in sentences in the very near future, thank you.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to indigoid

@ssharwood Please, tell me more about your range of motions.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ssharwood

expectproblems Oh, man. Today is such a write-off if I spend any more time discussing poop on the twitters.

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 9:35 AM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

Type 7: Watery, no solid pieces. Entirely liquid. You’re welcome.

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Type 5: Soft blobs with clear cut edges (passed easily). Type 6: Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool.

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Type 3: Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface. Type 4: Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft.

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The seven types of stool are: Type 1: Separate hard lumps, like nuts (hard to pass); Type 2: Sausage-shaped, but lumpy.

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“… developed by Dr Ken Heaton at the University of Bristol and first published in the Scandinavian Journal of Gastroenterology in 1997.”

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Uhoh. Thanks to @vealmince I now know that the Bristol Stool Scale is a thing. And there’s a picture. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_s…

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@SnarkyPlatypus What would happen if we merged the databases from that otherkin dating site with that one for Ayn Rand fans?

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@vealmince @expectproblems @ozdj You could automatically colour grade the poos, and map them. There must be regional variation.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to vealmince

RT @vealmince: @expectproblems @ozdj Like Instagram but for shit instead of what you had for dinner. [This would so take off.]

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TumblrTXT trans privilege is having sex reassignment surgery be a real thing, while nowhere offers ‘species reassignment surgery’ for otherkin

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:26 AM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

@expectproblems @ozdj I figured a geotagged record of every poo was required. Weight. Strain gauge. Viscosity. Malodorousness. With an app.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to expectproblems

@expectproblems @ozdj It was in response to the endless autotweets by those tedious arsehats using @RunKeeper.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to expectproblems

@expectproblems @ozdj If it should help, I’ve previously registered the Twitter account @pookeeper.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to expectproblems

@expectproblems @ozdj So it faithfully recreates a vendor keynote? OARSUM!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to expectproblems

RT @expectproblems: @stilgherrian @ozdj It’ll detect gyro movements of your iPhone and show you a turd dropping from a pony’s arse.

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@ozdj @expectproblems So which of the bazillion apps in the App Store is Manure.app? Oh yeah. Nearly all of them.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ozdj

@ozdj If enough people used the hashtag then America would send a drone to free all its child soldiers.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ozdj

ozdj Contemplating an iPhone5? Did you know you can buy a miniature pony for similar money? is.gd/PonyVSiPhone5 A REAL BLOODY PONY! YEAH!

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:06 AM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

If you do any writing in Australia and don’t subscribe to @MacqDictionary online then you’re a danger to society. macquariedictionary.com.au

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@GeordieGuy @ozdj Addition to what? “Amazeballs” is not to be found in @MacqDictionary online just now. Do you mean the OED?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to GordyPls

Well, I suppose he’s not totally unrootable. That said, I’m pretty short on sleep. My judgement is a bit dodgy right now.

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@ozdj @MacqDictionary @GeordieGuy Stuff gets into dictionaries by citation, not petition. Two independent uses in general publications.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to ozdj

@nomadiquemc @SnarkyPlatypus State Theatre Co of SA did a glorious “Julius Caesar” as 1980s corporate boardroom. Hugo Weaving as Brutus.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to nomadiquemc

@dannolan I haven’t had time to use Windows 8 in anger. I figure the usual 6-week habituation period is needed to grok it.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to dannolan

Re that second piece, I’d like to thank @zdnetaustralia subeditors who agree that “to cliché” is indeed a verb. Respect.

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Final plug: Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Microsoft kills the little guys at ‘cloud scale’” zdnet.com/microsoft-kill…

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Final plug: Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Windows 8 interface’s design heritage”, quoting @shanemo zdnet.com/windows-8-inte…

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New blog post: “Weekly Wrap 119: Ducks, ducks, sheep and bull” stilgherrian.com/weekly-wrap/we…

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@benpobjie @nomadiquemc @SnarkyPlatypus In Shakespeare’s defence, there are only seven stories in all of fiction…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to benpobjie

@nomadiquemc @SnarkyPlatypus Both Shakespeare and Mozart knew how to write pop. Timeless pop. All power to them.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to nomadiquemc

SnarkyPlatypus Australian culture will not have made it until there’s a theatre adaptation of the “Mr Bad” storyline of E Street.

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 8:06 AM, Sep 17th, 2012 via Janetter for Mac)

As one page, @unsungsongs’ delightful “Mozart cover bands rake in the moolah”, Oct 2007. smh.com.au/articles/2007/…

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@SnarkyPlatypus @nomadiquemc Remember when @unsungsongs referred to symphony orchestras as “Mozart cover bands”? smh.com.au/articles/2007/…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@robcorr Ah excellent! So it IS a photo from the recent events, but miscaptioned (“bullet”? no). Nice work. imageforum-diffusion.afp.com/ImfDiffusion/S…

via Janetter for Mac in reply to robcorr

@nomadiquemc By this logic (which I don’t necessarily disagree with), theatre companies should drop Shakespeare, orchestras Beethoven etc.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to nomadiquemc

@SnarkyPlatypus You’re Belgian? BEER AND CHOCOLATE FOR EVERYONE!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@SnarkyPlatypus Si nous voyons l’Élévation du Dieu-Impératrice, je suis susceptible de devenir très humide.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@robcorr There are other search tools. And searching directly on AFP’s website would reveal their original caption, including dateline.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to robcorr

@robcorr Google Image Search’s new related-image thing didn’t immediately reveal any previous uses, which confirms… nothing.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to robcorr

RT @cxi: Soooooo… Where do I find this fabled Bacon Faucet?! instagr.am/p/PpqET3kOwe/ [Next to the Land of Milk and Honey?]

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@robcorr I agree, it look more like gunshot in there than a rubber slug. But does the photo relate to the story or is it just a stock image?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to robcorr

@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. J’attends avec impatience à la semaine de la créativité, mais il commence par un manque de concentration. Et vous?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Mon plan: Weekly Wrap post; finish “Patch Monday” podcast; write more things in this busy week of writing; return to Wentworth Falls.

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Everybody dance now.

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