@smperris @SnarkyPlatypus We all need a Xantini.
@SnarkyPlatypus BUT IT’S CHRISTMAS.
If you scroll back through this evening’s tweets, you will see a suggestion regarding something called the Santakini. It may well happen.
That said, I may choose to interact while on the train and then the railbus, while batteries last.
Preparing to leave the city and return to the Mountains. If you tweeted something important at me, try again tomorrow. #donotscrollback
The reason I am not tweeting much right now is that I’m at an interesting party with interesting people and you’re not.

Giraffe instagram.com/p/vDPZK6CFuH/
Passing through Rakeland.

Yes obviously. instagram.com/p/vDPGtrCFt3/
@nidhalaigh Apparently you are wrong.
You should check out her website. Then, once you’ve done it that, do whatever you think is right.
I’m not sure that she understands that the room is full of media professionals.
“Facebook and Instagram have really helped me grow and build my brand.”
RT @rashasman @stilgherrian does her strategy involve cable ties? [Mmmmmmaybe…]
Melissa Ambrosini is now explaining how we can take control of our personal brands.
So far for me, the best new camera feature is dynamic flash. One shot with, one shot without, fix the flash balance later.
As previously warned, I’m at the launch of the Microsoft Lumia 830. Currently getting a demo of new Cortana features and the camera.
“… and all that information is stored in the cloud securely.”
@ApostrophePong Remember, I think I told you that they’d rebranded the kitchen as the Tiger Cave?

Oh! Oh! Oh! I know these guys. Well, I did 20 years ago. instagram.com/p/vDGSqdCFnw/
Oh no. The C Bar has tub waan moo on the specials board. I am so fucked. Ping @ApostrophePong.
@gregorylent @gnoll110 @Telstra Nearly every telco refers to monthly data. If I were running a telco I wouldn’t roll them over either.
@nigelwadsworth Especially not as the Lumia series is a set of really good phones.
SwiftOnSecurity There are 10 kinds of people in the world, and they’re all sick of hearing this stupid joke.
@mdennedy Just for that, if I do this fundraiser than I’ll send you a postcard regardless. “Swoonâ€, not so much.
Anyway, if that’s Telstra’s message today, then I assume that the Microsoft Lumia 830 is what I’ll have my hands on this evening.
4GX speeds on a phone are all well and good, @Telstra, but they’re useless if you don’t allow more data on a plan before money-haemorrhage.
RT @Telstra: I’m the first #WindowsPhone capable of blistering 4GX speeds. What am I? http://t.co/cfTlxf7zv2 http://t.co/3xXedqUxAZ
@OaaSvc @Supermercado99 Oh. Sorry.

trevorlong Its official. The @Telstra 4GX network will be the fastest network in Australia. Blimey : pic.twitter.com/C25drD2bs4

Supermercado99 Get your election news from the paper that doesn’t know what the state upper house is called pic.twitter.com/lvK8QyuP0V
That Pozible idea is starting to come together in my head. Split the money with a charity. Then sell postcards etc. Win for all, right?
RT @5at5daily: 5at5 number 103: Maps of space, Utah goats not saints, Jon Stewart interviewed, retro computing, and… coffee semen? http://t…
Just to be clear, I’m not actually built like that chap modelling the Santakini.
@SwiftOnSecurity Sorry.
So if I were to start a Pozible for wearing that thing and organising a photo shoot, what should my target be? $5000?

“Made from 85% polyester and 15% spandex, this stretchy number is one size fits all.â€latestbuy.com.au/santakini.htmlzpic.twitter.com/XvGBqNDOKbKb
RT @jendudley: Worst. Christmas. Present. Ever. (Even the model looks unimpressed.) latestbuy.com.au/santakini.html [I don’t see the problem.]
Oh that’s right. We now just say PARKLIFE at the end of every economic suggestion. I can do this. Shirtfront. Parklife.
RT @kcarruthers: We need a meme driven economy. [First sensible thing I’ve seen all day.]
@alexkidman Oh. One of those. Good luck.
@alexkidman I’m going to regret that, aren’t I.
@alexkidman That’s deskpickable.
@portusprince That’s one hell of a misread. Bravo!
RealNickHodge LIVE! NUDE! TWEETAGE!
@JackLScanlan Perhaps. This is clearly where an experiment is called for. I’ve already compiled a list, if that’s any help.
@JackLScanlan Depends how we removed it, surely?
Oh dear. Fender Australia is sending out emails related to the Stratocaster’s 60th anniversary. I helped them do the 50th. That’s scary.
@jonoabroad I really don’t know what it’s trying to say. Does Santa Claus out meth in your stockings? It’s all very confusing.
RT @benpobjie: Rob Brough engaged to severed sheep leg RT @Mamamia: The best-worst celebrity wedding announcement ever. http://t.co/jTsHASL 
@dobes @thelaughingsub @jodiem @Geek_tastic @chrisjrn “Speling. It’s as easy as ABsomething.”

Via email just now: “Learn self control and beat alcoholism.†So there’s thpic.twitter.com/kKqVrfdfcOdfcO
@jonoabroad Oh, there is also Lucky Thai. Both that and Pontip are on Campbell St.
It is 1600. The Microsoft Lumia launch doesn’t start until 1730. Then the Indies Party. I must pace myself, or I’ll never make it home.
@jonoabroad Yes. There are choices. Pontip is the oldest, but the Thai Kee IGA in Market City is a big general IGA with Thai ownership.
@dobes @thelaughingsub @jodiem @Geek_tastic @chrisjrn Look, if we’re doing that, then my bio just needs to read “As seen on TV.†Humph.

Approaching Thaitown instagram.com/p/vC3xw7CFrV/
RT @benpobjie: Because her brush is a bloodied human femur RT @Mamamia: Why are millions of people watching this woman brush her hair on Yo…
@jodiem @Geek_tastic @chrisjrn I don’t know. Mayb@thelaughingsubub will add a cyber or two. I lay that decision at her cyberdoor.
BernardKeane Starbucks flavours its coffee with sodomite semen, NY pastor claims. Not sure if that’s meant to be good or bad. bit.ly/1GrApoY
@chrisjrn Editors are for many things.

Crossing the Nepean instagram.com/p/vCw3UNCFjh/
Column filed for @zdnetaustralia. I think I forgot to add cybers to it.
@SnarkyPlatypus I’ve thought of one. Kind of a sacrifice thing. Or a Shakespearean play. One of the two.
SnarkyPlatypus How many dolphins do I need to kill to get this air conditioner to work properly?
New acronym time. RIKBAA. Rootable I Know But An Arsehat.
RT @SwiftOnSecurity: I’ll listen to you when you avatar is your actual face. [This is why @SwiftOnSecurity listens to me.]
@BXGD I know. I’ll have to put further thought into this.
@nancycato1 Editors are of course the most wonderful people on the planet.
@johnb78 No.
I’ve just thought of an idea for a story that I don’t think any of my editors would publish.
Mobile.
@dobes I might use that when a suitable occasion comes up.
If you report on a “survey†without clearly stating the margin of error, then you are part of the problem.
@cheshireb Yes, that should do him for a few minutes.
@cheshireb No, it it a big friendly slobbery loping dog.
@SulphurCocky @bengrubb @joshgnosis In general, not if it’s other people’s personal data. But since Telstra argues it isn’t PII, go for it.
glengyron I’d like to announce my streaming service “Cunce”, all Australian content at Australian prices.
OK, writing.
Smirk.
RT @maxious: Telstra admits giving metadata of all customers on same towers as target of investigations to police to reduce costs http://t.…
This whole government and commercial data retention issue is not a rabbit hole of lies, because that would also have at least one rabbit.
Also, @bengrubb shoots down one of Telstra’s “reasons†for blocking the request by using “arithmeticâ€. http://t.co/SMk4rsxVhT @joshgnosis
RT @joshgnosis: In @Bengrubb’s battle against Telstra for his own metadata, Telstra reveals its current data storage methods. http://t.co/X…
RT @jeamland: @glengyron Are startup factories like puppy factories? [Yes. In both cases you’re likely to end up with a dog.]
RT @nicchristensen: No one had a question for the Fairfax board. No one… [Well no need, is there? Everything is just perfect at Fairfax.]
“Australian government’s metadata access may be widenedâ€, writes @joshgnosis. We’re surprised, right? Oh. http://t.co/jRhKrzF7da
I wonder whether any of the news outlets that screeched about the fire will now even mention that @NSWRFS have worked days to contain it.
MT @NSWRFS: #NSWRFS & #NPWS crews have contained the Cliff Drive fire. bit.ly/1tJHTyt [Well done. Thanks, good people.]
Me at @zdnetaustralia this week: “Putting people at the centre of enterprise security†http://t.co/WqdoxMcgrL
@darrenpauli Maybe not to teach writers, but to reassure newish writers that their first drafts don’t have to be polished.
@darrenpauli I did click, actually, and that’s fucking remarkable. Thanks.
The question I now ask myself is whether I really want to click on a link that @darrenpauli sent me.
That plan is either full of win or full of fail. Potentially both.
Thu plan: Write for @zdnetaustralia; 1324 train to Sydney; errand; @5at5daily; 1730 Microsoft Lumia launch; Indies Party; late train back.
Why is it 1000 already?
I see that CNN using Microsoft Surface devices as iPad stands is “going viralâ€, as they say. Well done, everybody. http://t.co/2SNpWcWavb
I have just been invited to a dog’s first birthday party.

rharris334 I can’t stop giggling at this. Never call your child Clint. pic.twitter.com/PS7CmuOzdc
@BXGD I meant technically. Overload, 500 errors etc.
It appears that Twitter is not coping with the denouement of America’s thingy.
@JohnBirmingham Perhaps they’ve used the ointment.
@ERN_Malleyscrub Well people should just see their GPs, as the general managers of their health, and work from there. So few do though.
@ERN_Malleyscrub It can relate to almost anything, alas, thanks. But all is good, the medicos are helping with a plan.
RT @BlogsofWar: Obama: ‘Too early’ to say if US winning ISIS fight goo.gl/eMpbSt [So that’s a “No†then.]
RT @NewtonMark: Okay, #trollday, bring it on. [OK, internet people, you know what to do.]
If you missed yesterday’s @5at5daily, here it is. http://t.co/DvYU5zVC3i You can subscribe here. http://t.co/oN8jGi6bmS
Trying to decide whether Mistress Insomnia has left me enough energy to go to all the drinks events in Sydney tonight and then return.
RT @joshgnosis: CNN election night commentators use Microsoft Surfaces as iPad stands. http://t.co/bVnnx32OAW [See, they DO have a use.]

W7VOA Irish woman rejected for S. Korea teaching job “due to the alcholism nature of your kind” - is.gd/XFFpaj pic.twitter.com/qQCjsgQoBv
That feeling of slightly dying inside when they retweet the tweet with the typographical error.
For example.
Section 474.15 of the Crimes Legislation Amendment (Telecommunications Offences and Other Measures) Act (No. 2) 2004.
@paulwallbank @SnarkyPlatypus There will… there will be a special grave reserved for you. It will have ants. So many ants.
Thank you for bringing that goat-related headline to my attention, @ThePoke @JohnBirmingham. You are wonderful, despite what they say.
RT @ThePoke: Goat related headline of the day.
http://t.co/3L5VxFr9eU http://t.co/wwiHjETBts
@paulwallbank HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

On well played, @TheOnion. pic.twitter.com/vDIl47Bxlt

TheOnion New Employee Has Never Known Decadent Pleasures Of Old Office onion.com/1x4IfSz pic.twitter.com/z4P7lzoJzp
SHOUT ALL THE THINGS BECAUSE THAT WILL MAKE IT MORE GOOD AND STUFF.

@dannolan YOU SHOULD SO BUY THAT UNLESS THIS THING HERE IS ALSO A THING. pic.twitter.com/bFIdglsNwU
RT @elronxenu: @stilgherrian I CHOOSE YOU, Stilgachu! [OH THIS IS SO BECOMING A THING NOW.]
SwiftOnSecurity We should have just renamed TinyURL to DNS2 and been done with it.
“URGENT SCARED OF GMO’Sâ€, apparently.
“Buy gold for $234/oz. Sell $1,350/oz same day,†according to a completely legit email.I don’t know why everybody isn’t doing this.
Mistress Insomnia just shove all the things up her arse. All the fucking things.
Thu plan, draft: Continue to ignore email; write for @zdnetaustralia; errands; evening events in Sydney, probably, details TBA.
SwiftOnSecurity Jesus, even NASA has their own URL shortener.
Good luck to anyone in the future doing historical research about anything after 2007.
@humphriesmark @evanwilliamsss @thedavidferrier Break a leg, chaps.
RT @iamdevloper: Using an app to increase productivity is like supersizing your Diet Coke to lose weight.

According to an extensive* Google Images Search, @SnarkyPlatypus, this is the Xanax Fairy. pic.twitter.com/0AAGi87vDi
Thursday. You have complete freedom to choose. Whatever you choose, it will be wrong. Chose now. Thursday.