Two minutes until midnight. I bet tomorrow will be fucked up as well n’all.

Never forget. pic.twitter.com/J9cvSCh3x8

TheOnion Ethical Hunter Throws Duck He Shot Back Into Sky trib.al/MLF8gFh pic.twitter.com/S1qaNEiBfm
SwiftOnSecurity So I just found out adulting and adultery are two different things.
Oh look, a new @ArmsControlWonk podcast: “Tiny Nukes for Tiny Hands” armscontrolwonk.libsyn.com/tiny-nukes-for…
SixthTone #Baidu unveils translation device which can translate in near-real time and can also be used as a Wi-Fi hot spot ow.ly/5EZf30fjWio
“The 9pm End of the World, But More So” is now also on @SoundCloud soundcloud.com/skankmedia/e00… and @spreaker..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…DU
@techoglot I KNOW!
stevelord “I’ve looked at your recruiter LinkedIn profile and I think you’ll love all the furry porn mailing lists I signed y..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…KU
@jeffsonstein I already did that joke. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

New podcast: “The 9pm End of the World, But More So” stilgherrian.com/edict/00068/ pic.twitter.com/j0fpJRMZSl
@jonoabroad Why thank you.
free_facts You can safely store 50 cockroaches in your ear
I’m still wide awake, so I’ll stay up to post a better recording at @spreaker, @SoundCloud, and my website. It’ll take an hour-ish. #9pmlive
You’ve just missed “The 9pm Edict” livestream, but the rough recording is available now at spreaker.com/user/skankmedi… #9pmlive
And we’re done. #9pmlive
We’re on! #9pmlive
Starting in a couple of minutes. I just want to check something first.
You should now have some pre “The 9pm Edict” music live at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/ or via @spreaker. #9pmlive
Just 30 minutes until “The 9pm Edict” at 2100 AEST. Live at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/ or via @spreaker. #9pmlive
@spreaker The program is coming together quite well, I think, even if I say so myself.
Just one hour until “The 9pm Edict” at 2100 AEST. Live at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/ or via @spreaker. #9pmlive
jenbechwati BREAKING: Tony Abbott has been assaulted in Hobart.
@therevmountain Indeed.
More than is necessary. twitter.com/therevmountain…

Histreepix HM Queen Elizabeth II’s eighth (and most successful to date) escape attempt. Buckingham Palace, May 14th, 1955. pic.twitter.com/WeEAZ62uGk
Two hours until “The 9pm Edict” at 2100 AEST. Live at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/ or via @spreaker. #9pmlive
@VicFabians @FakeDanTosello @SwiftOnSecurity @newscientist Lovely, thank you @VicFabians. I’m getting the feeling a..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…hj
@dananimal Yeah you do get the impression they’d rather be somewhere else doing something more useful.
jleyden By me @TheRegister FedEx: TNT NotPetya infection blew a $300m hole in our numbers theregister.co.uk/2017/09/20/fed…
Three hours until “The 9pm Edict” at 2100 AEST. Live at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/ or via @spreaker. #9pmlive
Ah, the Judges of the High Court of Australia! twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
@teknetia I’d figured that’s what happened, and killed my tweet as fast as I could. The response will continue overnight too.
@dobes That’s an interesting idea. I really need to ramp up to video for that sort of thing, though. Plus I’d ned a driver.

cathywilcox1 It’s personal.
My @smh cartoon. pic.twitter.com/DE5cSSKBRz
Wendycarlisle This thread on Malcolm Roberts is gold twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
DonSinnamon This may be the most unimpeachably true thing ever uttered under oath in court. twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
jrojourno Out of context quote frorm Malcolm Roberts that showcases his language: “The level of my possibility was very low.”

Dean_Nimbly Yes hello, Burns Unit? I have a critical case on the way in pic.twitter.com/wjir7QUBtl
No, that’s Samsung’s unique selling proposition. twitter.com/dahowlett/stat…
@swearyanthony @egadheg @SnarkyPlatypus Ah. Well there you go. We are not surprised.
Did you see this, @SnarkyPlatypus? It’s not actually a queer thing, just a libertarian dickhead thing. twitter.com/BillyArmagh/st…
Four hours until “The 9pm Edict” at 2100 AEST. Live at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/ or via @spreaker. #9pmlive

jonkudelka I would just like to tweet this cartoon again if it pleases the court. pic.twitter.com/PR8Mr7jxxf
OK then. twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
Oh dear God we all SO want this! twitter.com/DonnaFieldQld/…
Oh please, Senator Roberts, PLEASE sack your lawyers and have a go yourself! twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
@michaelneale @jodiem Well, a rugged vocal mic like the Sennheiser e835 is a bunch cheaper than a high-end studio m..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…fk

PulpLibrarian Happy birthday to Gustav Holst, born today in 1874! pic.twitter.com/GtZ9TbDHFJ
free_facts Women can do some of the same things as one man
@glengyron Actually I can’t implement the idea I just had because I don’t have time today. Another opportunity will present itself.
Five hours until “The 9pm Edict” at 2100 AEST. Live at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/ or via @spreaker. #9pmlive
seamus Today’s critical office debate on @ScienceAlert Slack. Frustration that the turtle emoji is a tortoise. 🐢
hellohappy_time guys if she doesn’t sound like this during an orgasm you’re doing it WRONG [plays clip of Ford pardoning Nixon]
One day soon I really, really, really will get my crowdfunding ducks back in a row, but today is not that day.
You still have time to support this podcast with a one-off contribution at stilgherrian.com/tip/ and you should do that.
Thu plan, update: Nice hot shower (almost now); pre-production; 2100 AEST “The 9pm Edict” livestream at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/

@glengyron THIS IS NOT A BUNKER IT HAS WINDOWS AND SHIT. pic.twitter.com/kYFR5PNEiX

davidmackau Trump, at a lunch with African leaders, refers to the non-existent country of “Nambia.” pic.twitter.com/N8megnC1Xi

BillyArmagh A Sassy Gay Republican DRAMA in Four Acts. 🙌🏻 pic.twitter.com/O3tNiTg56A
YES I MEAN I DO THIS WITH JUST ONE MIDDLE-AGED MAN YELLING AND A CHEAP MICROPHONE AND IT’S MUCH BETTER AND IT’S ON..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…OK
Scottludlam look i have decided my citizenship stuff up was my eight-year old nephew’s fault. clearly he should have known.
@OaaSvc @GordyPls @DavidParis SHUT UP AND ENJOY THE NEW FEATURES OF IOS 11.
NewtonMark This is incredible. Qantas used B747, A330 as tankers to get fuel to Auckland Airport while their pipeline is broken australianaviation.com.au/2017/09/qantas…
@oberonsghost @GordyPls @OaaSvc @DavidParis And prevents any new connections, though leaves wi-fi on for, presumably, Location Services.
stillgray Is there even higher ground? This is grim. twitter.com/NWSSanJuan/sta…

oz_f Damn millenials!!!!!
Oh wait. pic.twitter.com/4LyQPrQUsp
dippizuka Important and probably highly unwanted #ducknews twitter.com/plalor/status/…

@GordyPls @OaaSvc @DavidParis Ah, it’s a feature not a bug. pic.twitter.com/SHkBsVirGd
Six hours until “The 9pm Edict” at 2100 AEST. Live at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/ or via @spreaker. #9pmlive
I’m gonna try that coffee-and-quick-nap trick now, because of the podcast tonight. Automated tweets will keep you company until I’m back.
@OaaSvc @DavidParis I’m pretty sure you guys don’t know how to use a smartphone.
@OaaSvc @DavidParis Still works fine for me. I turn it off, Settings shows it disconnected. I turn it on, Settings shows it connecting.
@OaaSvc @DavidParis When logged in, or on the lock screen? I don’t allow the Control Centre on the lock screen beca..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…cj
By which I mean, obviously, that should all email the British High Commission’s expired email address to ask. Yes, all of you do that.
Personally, that’s the one good thing in all this: The purpose of the email is right in the subject line. You shoul..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Aj
@OaaSvc Works fine for me, @DavidParis.
rod3000 @shalailah There’s never been a better time to announce a halal-only, gender fluid school fundraiser!
shalailah Up to $52k, now. twitter.com/abcnewsAdelaid…
@zbendr True.
PSyvret I do hope Malcolm Roberts reprises his “conceptual penis” argument. twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…

Yeah, @crikey_news knows how to give good hed. pic.twitter.com/2nvr0jDuYd
@FakeDanTosello @SwiftOnSecurity @newscientist Indeed. Well if nothing else, @VicFabians are taking Vanessa and me..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Uz

katinacurtis Too harsh? pic.twitter.com/wKlIKPg8iu
@FakeDanTosello @SwiftOnSecurity @newscientist Well, I’m in the Melbourne for the second half of next week, and als..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…8q
SBSNews Same-sex marriage: AFL headquarters evacuated after hoax threat following ‘Yes’ sign installed
bit.ly/2xhGoAe
Pinboard Why must everything beep?
@FakeDanTosello @SwiftOnSecurity @newscientist Mind. Blown. (Well, the portions that haven’t been removed.)
Thu plan: It’s still as per the draft, but I’m just starting now because I was too busy cooking and eating and stuf..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…00
@FakeDanTosello @SwiftOnSecurity @newscientist It’s one of those boiling frog things. Show at Realityshitlevel 4 do..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…MF
waferbot Twitter bios randomly puke so you put your hands out to catch it, and then you do.

bax_books *bursts through door, filthy and wheezing*
Sir….. it’s……..the GAMERS,, they’re…back…. pic.twitter.com/og0YHerRVb
MikeCarlton01 And still rolling ! Up now to >$44,000. Poor Cory. twitter.com/MikeCarlton01/…
ericgeller Almost 3.5 million Americans will be without power for four to six months. twitter.com/SarahNEmerson/…
@zbendr Like any organisation, Australian police forces have their problem, but we’re galaxies ahead of US local police.
@perrynfowler @haruki_zaemon Ah well now you’re thinking!
KetanJ0 IT’S HAPPENING twitter.com/T3SydneyTrains…
@haruki_zaemon @perrynfowler In a way, though, it’s no worse than companies that hire according to Myers-Briggs Cor..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…bX
@FakeDanTosello @SwiftOnSecurity @newscientist Needless to say, she left. The drama was the goal, well-being of the..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Tz
@FakeDanTosello @SwiftOnSecurity Years back @newscientist had a piece by the unit psychologist for Big Brother, I t..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…A6
@perrynfowler @haruki_zaemon Still, the assumption that smart people are bored when some bits are dull isn’t true…twitter.com/i/web/status/9…y9
@DavidFeng @SnarkyPlatypus Yes, yes… twitter.com/DavidFeng/stat…
@DavidFeng @SnarkyPlatypus No need to rub it in, @DavidFeng. twitter.com/DavidFeng/stat…
“Court OKs Barring High IQs for Cops” abcnews.go.com/US/court-oks-b… Can’t have cops being too smart, eh. God bless Ameri..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…j5
America: Our politicians may have been secretly colluding with Russia.
Australia: Our politicians can’t figure out how to email the UK.
jonkudelka @19bk69 Everyone’s having a good old vent so you might as well get your $122 million worth I reckon.
@DavidFeng @SnarkyPlatypus NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THE TRAINS.
@SnarkyPlatypus @DavidFeng Yeah, when you think about it, China is pretty rubbish.
@DavidFeng Still, China doesn’t have quolls.
@DavidFeng So Beijing to Shanghai at 350km/h, while in Australia a duly-elected Senator struggles to figure out his..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…gz
Look, @DavidFeng, you are fully aware that I hate you and all of your so-called “trains”. #iwanttocrynow twitter.com/DavidFeng/stat…
@PeteLawler Go away and take your filthy quokka spawn with you.
@SnarkyPlatypus True, but this whole cross- examination is the pinnacle of… of something.
Timeless tweet. twitter.com/jturner_ibrs/s…
Americans may be amused to know that Black Caviar is a racehorse. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Cav… twitter.com/PostRoz/status…
I’m reliably told High Court folks were “very much looking forward to today, in a way someone enjoys putting their dick into a door jamb.”
@iiTalW No no no, let’s just let him run.
I think @SnarkyPlatypus will just love* this argument. twitter.com/JohannaMarie_/…
@rpy Hi, Ruplet.
You still have time to support this podcast with a one-off contribution at stilgherrian.com/tip/ (I really should do crowdfunding better.)
Thu plan, draft: LPG wrangling; errands in the village; pre-production; 2100 AEST “The 9pm Edict” livestream at stilgherrian.com/edict/live/
k8em0 Let the wookie win…
the sock game. twitter.com/garyhe/status/…
joshgnosis If he arrived in Australia declaring that today… twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
PeteLawler @stilgherrian Won’t somebody think of the judges???
Oh I don’t have time to follow the gentle erosion of Senator Roberts’ until now impeccable reputation for evidential rigour.
OH YES PLEASE. twitter.com/nogubs88/statu…
But maybe we should have a conversation about that. Mwah! I love you, Senator Roberts. twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
For me so far, this and the following tweet are the most luscious. twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
Excellent work here. twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
Please can someone make sure that we all know where to read the transcript of this hearing. twitter.com/jrojourno/stat…
Meanwhile… twitter.com/MrDenmore/stat…
I didn’t intend to sleep through the whole morning, but it obviously needed to happen. I’ll have a stab at a plan shortly.
I guess we’re stuck with it.
Well this wasn’t what I had in mind at all.
Thursday. It’s more than twice as long as it is wide, and almost transparent. Thursday.