Gorn.
Rule 34. twitter.com/SBSNews/status…

CrapLocalNews Breaking news: pic.twitter.com/pB5xaaX43D
This is genius. “Lingua::Romana::Perligata — Perl for the XXI-imum Century” users.monash.edu/~damian/papers… HT @heycam
“Sassy Loses His Fucking Mind In Alabama” by @serafinowicz youtube.com/watch?v=Ttglog…

I quite enjoyed this week’s @getkrackinshow, for obvious reasons. pic.twitter.com/Hf5zLqUpkI
@oliyoung @jonkudelka Well I think I’m @stilgherrian, but some days I’m not sure.

helveticade “Former Googler” is becoming tech capitalism’s “Florida Man” pic.twitter.com/jN2nTq0lW5
@engin_eer @StrtegicRetweet @JoshThomas87 I’m pretty sure Josh isn’t in the Illuminati. I haven’t seen him at any of the meetings.
@heycam Oh dear God.
@BennettArron If it helps, I think that gag is in the category of “Compulsory floor exercise for 10 points”.
@BennettArron So, you reckon that gag is worth retweeting? Good on ya, champ.
JohnJohnsonson I never thought “I wish the president had the grace and class of Hugh Hefner” was a sentence I’d say but here we ar..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…Kc
@PeteLawler Don’t you fuckin’ dare.

oliyoung This can’t possibly be bad can it? pic.twitter.com/Z6uZWceqVw
jrobertlennon Hi so I’m calling about the baby shoes? Are they still available? Great! I just had a baby and, you know, haha, bab..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…De
@PeteLawler I’m sure he knows my number.
@juhasaarinen @GreenJ Yes, the internet is surprisingly technical. I’ve been speaking with people.
@kheitman_au Oh excellent! Thank you. That’s probably overkill, but I’ll stick the feed into my calendar.
@juhasaarinen @GreenJ This is all very complicated, Juha.
PRESlDENTBANNON Day 251
Wall length: 0
Tax reforms: 0
Clintons jailed: 0
Golf club visits: 60
Hands: tiny
Swamp: vast
Healthcare:..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…yA
@oliyoung You’re a fool. @TheCalebBond has got it all sorted. He says so himself.

The dynamic of so many stories coming out of DC right now. vox.com/world/2017/9/2… pic.twitter.com/0stJTBd0Mp
Pollytics He reckons he’s found a safe space twitter.com/troyhunt/statu…
free_facts Your phone is bad for you if you eat the whole thing
“Good Morning America,” indeed. twitter.com/GMA/status/913…

Hey @juhasaarinen, Bing is failing @GreenJ and me here. Can you assist? pic.twitter.com/WQccogidji
@GreenJ Isn’t late-1920s to early-1930s Futurism just wonderful!
@kcarruthers @tacticalmaid Almost impossible to jam.
@pelagikat My flight out is 1400 Saturday, a time I chose quite deliberately.
@tacticalmaid @kcarruthers Feel your pain?
BernardKeane Which is your favourite place that @TonyAbbottMHR wanted to invade? VOTE NOW!
TrainsInfo We hope you’re all enjoying tonight’s stunner sunset! Thks for sharing Nina. #ILoveSydney #seesydney twitter.com/Najaj03/status…
@tacticalmaid @kcarruthers Or Lorraine.
@pelagikat I was booked into a speaking gig last night, and just stayed for a couple days. All this other stuff was unknown to me.
@kcarruthers I mentioned that GSP thing in this yarn. zdnet.com/article/cuts-c… twitter.com/Reuters/status…
The next two days will be unbearable. twitter.com/VictoriaPolice…
nehadk Because of course they did. twitter.com/ki_sekiya/stat…
And the Editor did smile upon the Pitch, and all was good with the world.
@dobes @JustJimWillDo I just did.
@JustJimWillDo Thank you. I’ve got a lazy one planned, although I did just think of a quick column I could pitch to @dobes. Sigh.
@AbstractCode That’s just Victoria getting onto a lame remake of “Rake”.
@engin_eer @StrtegicRetweet Wow. Even I’ve heard of @JoshThomas87 and I’m an idiot.

I have no idea who these people are, but the sight lines made this gag irresistible. pic.twitter.com/p3knTlF6C6
@bigbadave I didn’t plan it. I’d forgotten about the Grand Final Eve holiday. I just knew flights out of MEL during..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…WD
@oberonsghost @oysta @dobes @nathanbottomley I went for simplicity, since it’s for a motto.
Cory Bernardi never calls me. #sadpanda
botandy it was apparently legal for Mr Hugh Hefner to have a flooded cave full of women under his house, so why not me. your honour.
lzion I’m glad that’s settled then. twitter.com/joshgnosis/sta…
@ResignInShame I have no idea what @damiengwalter’s motives are. I dread to think.
My long weekend has started, ‘cos Friday is a holiday in Melbourne, then Monday is a holiday when I’m back in Sydney.
StephenAtHome And in one stroke, Twitter doubles the complexity of our nation’s foreign policy.
Don’t try this at home, kids. This man is a trained professional. twitter.com/damiengwalter/…
Timeless tweet. twitter.com/reselsnark/sta…
As opposed to working it out with pencil and paper? twitter.com/bengrubb/statu…
@AbstractCode Wow.
@DDsD I know the bottom one is about buttplugs.
Well this looks interesting. twitter.com/Europol/status…
I can do both Latin and Perl.
@oysta @dobes Are you happy with this one, @oberonsghost? twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@dobes Meanwhile over on Sky…
@oysta @dobes I did Latin at school, back before WW1, so I know how to play with fragments in Google Translate to a..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…eE
AlboMP The problem isn’t that Tony Abbott is stuck in the past, it’s that he wants the rest of Australia to go back there to keep him company 🏳️🌈
@oysta @dobes Yeah I wasn’t happy with that translation. I’m using Google Translate but working with a tiny memory of Latin, so…
@dobes I just spent way too much time trying to translate that into Latin.
I have returned to my hotel up the top end of Elizabeth St, because.

ManuclearBomb 140 character twitter vs 280 character twitter pic.twitter.com/YsdayBvM5C

As you should. pic.twitter.com/82CAzFttWO
mollypriddy today i learned that kit harington is NOT the name of a kicky lesbian detective from the 1940s but actually a game of thrones man
benpobjie Tell me more, Beav. twitter.com/TheCalebBond/s…
@nehadk “How likely is it that you would recommend this bullshit metric to a friend or colleague?” #cultofnps..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…MZ
@nehadk Yes, a meaningless KPI. Will “via drone” sell any more phones, the only metric that matters? Who cares, eh,..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…gE
@baxters Thanks.
@benpobjie Big Chunks Of Fish etc, and vermouth in the sauce. It is, as they say, Very Nice.

Pasta, etc. pic.twitter.com/fE5xXHw4DA
@baxters Thank you, but the frames were provided. If I’d been taking all due care I’d have paid attention to the cut-off car on the left.
@JustJimWillDo Yeah she’s a pretty spunky bird for her age.

“Restoring Flinders Street Station for the future.” pic.twitter.com/vTAS4KGyDf
Paying homage to Chloe.
free_facts You’ll pay for this

OK then. pic.twitter.com/G1HArb8bgC
earleyedition Tony Abbott wants martial law so the Army can take management of resources from states? Righto, nutjob..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…NV
PGourevitch pro-tip from Hugh Hefner in 2004: “It is a good idea not to fall asleep while you’re actually having intercourse.” newyorker.com/magazine/2006/…
NuclearAnthro REMINDS ME OF LOSING MY VIRGINITY! 😬 twitter.com/ap/status/9132…
@terencehuynh Exactly.
@Steve_Lockstep @dobes Maybe it could be a chainicle, made up of blocks of text. You could call it… [Kills self]
Loose in the Melbourne CBD.
phbarratt I said he was in need of professional help but no one listened…. twitter.com/mikecarlton01/…
@Steve_Lockstep @dobes You should do a listicle. @dobes isn’t into listicles, I don’t think.
wintnation One Nation has recorded the largest increase in popularity of any party in the latest game of thrones
MsLods The @OAICgov is encouraging Australians to explore your right to access govt held information #RTK2017 - 35 years s..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…GZ
@GreenJ @JohnBirmingham That takes guts.
@PeteLawler @dobes @Steve_Lockstep I am always happy to help when asked.

AusAmbCyber 🚀 Countdown to launch!!! 1️⃣week until @JulieBishopMP unveils Australia’s 1st Int #Cyber Engagement Strategy🇦🇺 🌎 💻 pic.twitter.com/lbxTbdH0EV
@nnwakelam To double check, @Naffy, is this the one you mean? humblebundle.com/books/hacking-…
DrYobbo Why did Usher need help specifically twitter.com/ArielleDRoss/s…
nnwakelam If you are new to infosec and can’t justify purchasing the new hacking humble bundle message me and I’ll grab a copy for you.
@morebento And what’s even better, it’s all true!
Frances_Larina Ironically there was a time when his mag was one of v. few places that took trans women seriously & told their stor..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…R6
Hey @dobes! Hey @Steve_Lockstep! twitter.com/pasiphae_goals…

dpa_intl #BREAKING Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner dies aged 91 pic.twitter.com/gwnAsThBkn
dobes IT’S ON IN NIPPON twitter.com/AP/status/9132…
@dobes @GordyPls @garthk Oh that’s right. I’d forgotten that. Yet another reminder that Abbott really is the Mad Monk.
@GordyPls @garthk Word is — reliable word via multiple sources — that in defence meetings Abbott was full crusadertwitter.com/i/web/status/9…jeQZ
@Ex_spurt @srpeatling I’d never even heard of him until today.
stilgherrian ICYMI, this is a brief preview of what will doubtless be an important cyber document. #cyber #verycyber twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
This is yet another reason I should visit Launceston. twitter.com/Spoonyman/stat…
@EndRoadwork @NuclearAnthro @firstdogonmoon Why? Because they’re weasel words?
@NuclearAnthro I quite like these animals. They’re reminiscent of @firstdogonmoon characters.
MELVIN THE MISSLE DEFENCE MINK!
(Although @NuclearAnthro spells it in American.) twitter.com/NuclearAnthro/…
@TatteredRemnant I am quite tolerant of this sort of scenario.

samanthamaiden Random annual reminder I once owned THAT jumper. Still have it pic.twitter.com/Rieux8Pw1b
srpeatling I am really enjoying the thought of Coalition staffers having to prepare talking points on Macklemore.
Is this even allowed? twitter.com/expectproblems…
Yes, I will be available to be bought drinks later this afternoon.
Thu plan, updated: Coffee; breakfast (done); errands; work through email backlog somewhere nice (where?); late arvo & evening drinks TBA.
SuperRandomish Why stop at 280 characters, why not just allow tweets to be complete power point presentations?
@DavidFeng That would not be harmonious, David.
Love your work, @FarrellPF. twitter.com/FarrellPF/stat…
jendudley Text messages, robo-calls, sky writing: feels like I’m back in the ’90s and I’ve failed to return a new-release DVD. 9news.com.au/national/2017/…
AndrewPStreet First Tony Abbott puts me on the side of Macklemore, then he puts me on the side of George Brandis. This has been an unsettling few hours.
Not so much a dog whistle as a hog klaxon, eh @realDonaldTrump? twitter.com/RealPressSecBo…
Probgoblin YOU CAN ORDER AN AIR HORN ON AMAZON AND BRING THE FIGHT DIRECTLY TO THE GEESE.
botandy the future is 280 characters stamping on a human face, forever
@ddowza Sigh. This is true.
lukehopewell This is going to be fucking INSUFFERABLE. twitter.com/mediaweekaus/s…
Purely for reference purposes, of course.
I really should start carrying a pencil case or similar with a short shotgun mic inside.
@expectproblems I don’t think I’ve got the current ration book. I’ll get some extra Patronising Vouchers this afternoon.
@JustJimWillDo @SnarkyPlatypus You don’t count.
@KarlskiB It was very much in that realm, I feel.
@expectproblems I’ve been meaning to catch up and talk at you about that, now that it’s my right.
@SnarkyPlatypus You will very much like a scene in episode four of @getkrackinshow, because it’s all about this exact thing.
@mattcdef2000 No no, it was legit.
@SnarkyPlatypus This is my favourite bit of dialogue. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
I got the impression that she’s not exactly a new name, but I never saw her face, or heard anything more than a few shy words of her voice.
He had a short black with three sachets of Equal. She had a pot of green tea.
That was all both hilarious (he was such a stereotype) and depressing (she really wasn’t having a fun time).
It’s a shame they’ve gone. I was going to slip him a note as I left. “Have you thought of STFU and letting the lady speak?” I’m sad.
“Why do you do that stuff?”, he says. But sensing that she’s up for the role, he’s done. “I’ll get the bill.” [Exuent stage left.]
After half an hour of this, he finally asks, “So what are you doing at the moment?” She answers too quietly for me to hear.
“She’s Chinese, but she’s Aussie. I mean, she’s Aussie, but she looks Asian.” The term “ABC” is used again.
He’s still baffled by this “Asian but not Asian thing”, in the context of yet another potential actor now.
Ah he’s an Agent, trying to sort out the cast. He’s name-dropping actors who “should be in it”, so clearly none of them have signed yet.
The actor confirms that the mentioned actor is not Chinese. “Really?”, he says. “But her father speaks Mandarin??!” He’s totally baffled.
That’s how he pronounces it. Not “Ng” but “N-G”.
The actor says she doesn’t think the actor mentioned is Chinese. “She lives in Singapore?! But her name’s N-G.”
He’s now talking about another actor he’s decided against. “She only speaks English. She’s Chinese but is an Aussie. Not even an ABC.”
I can’t see the actor’s face because her back is to me, but she is “Asian” and the role is for a “struggling Asian chick”.
He pauses to drink coffee, she say a few words while his eyes dart aroundsay. He’s not paying attention at all. He’s simply not listening.
He’s not noticing that her body language and hesitation is screaming discomfort.
There’s a man at the next table trying to talk a young woman into acting in his film and he’s babbling so fast she can’t get a word in.
lukehopewell what an account. a bot that quote tweets ‘dickhead’ at Tony Abbott whenever he tweets twitter.com/dickheadbot/st…
jonkudelka I’m not sure a politician trying to dictate the half-time entertainment at a rugby final is consistent with keeping politics out of sport.
@juhasaarinen I would like some gin with that. A large amount of gin.
Seriously, PR people, verifiable FACTS about an incident that have not already been reported or GTFO. You’re wasting everyone’s time.
DEAR CYBERSECURITY INDUSTRY I ALREADY HAVE WAY TOO MANY GENERIC COMMENTS ABOUT WHAT EQUIFAX DID WRONG FROM EXECS WHO WEREN’T THERE KTHXBYE.

smurray38 Scene: 2047 - Aust History 3084
“This will be on the exam” pic.twitter.com/VfwQL3dM8c

lauraewaddell 140 character twitter vs 280 character twitter pic.twitter.com/6FHyHgGSxQ
ICYMI, this is a brief preview of what will doubtless be an important cyber document. #cyber #verycyber twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@AbstractCode Cricket is a powerful drug.

This remains one of my favourite headlines of 2017. rightwingwatch.org/post/mark-tayl… pic.twitter.com/n7PIPd3925
ClickHole Bold Strategy: Reese’s Puffs Is Doxxing Anyone Who Eats Competitor Cereals On The Back Of Its Boxes..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…JT
Ramanujan was basically a freak of nature. HT @BuchananBen. twitter.com/fermatslibrary…
Thu plan, supplemental: I’m winding back the pace ‘cos it’s been hectic lately and my back is still a catastrophe. I’m then long weekending.
Thu plan, proper draft: Coffee; breakfast; brief errands; work through email backlog somewhere nice; evening TBA. Also, lunch anyone?
This sort of thing need to be said a LOT more often. Bravo Natalie. twitter.com/nataliemorales…
Thu plan, initial draft: Coffee; breakfast; decide everything else then. I am in Melbourne with few specific commitments.

davidlipson Turnbull: “If they had a plan, they’d be able to put it on the table now.”
AGL: pic.twitter.com/l3Y7SfcIiY
SydneyTom_ You: 280 characters will improve the discourse.
Me:
…………………./´¯/)
………………..,/¯../
……..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…3J
free_facts The universe is the size of 13 football fields and an airplane
Thursday. Partial credit. Thursday.

Nah fuck that. pic.twitter.com/BDwWxTUswG

All these Ruckus WAPs have expired certs. pic.twitter.com/TRcCOarJDy

While I’m waiting for this software to download I might as well see What’s on the hotel wi-fi… pic.twitter.com/dijYJNLjBc
@geor97 @VicFabians You’re too kind.
@jturner_ibrs Should I read this, or just keep downloading the update and rest in the knowledge that everything is perfect?
@geor97 @VicFabians Heh. I’ll be up for a while yet, but I am genuinely embarrassed to have made that mistake.