@ApostrophePong @wolfcat Lol. The best place to start!
I’m not drunk.
@wolfcat @ApostrophePong *Lost*
@ApostrophePong @wolfcat Where do you karaoke in DC?
@jxeeno Every segment is an announceable!
RT @Tattooed_Mummy: Worrying sign at the butchers… https://t.co/FMmwAS8tCC
RT @MonicaLewinsky: just realized i am more scared of our government now than i was in 1998.
and that’s saying a lot.
A. LOT.
@glendturner Look, yes, but here we are.
@jxeeno Well… https://t.co/DQzOL2yZXv
@Fiestywenchyone Yeah @MrNigelNg’s work is awesome.
@wolfcat @ApostrophePong Whose singing, sorry?
@jxeeno And yet they haven’t gone with the inland rail link thing.
@ApostrophePong @wolfcat Dream on, Boy. You in the US, me in AU, you know this how is played. So much has changed s… https://t.co/Z6O0jQYHpV
@_midofo_ So we’re back here again? https://t.co/Obb6Dvvnb6
@_midofo_ So I see! Now I am so the fuck hungry.
@wolfcat @ApostrophePong This is what I mean. The whole “African gangs†thing that the feds were trying to push in Melbourne was like WTF?
@_midofo_ Is this a sex toy?
@_midofo_ Not the same.
@smperris @helenperris Well having met you both, obviously.
September Equinox is right now at 2330 AEST. Happy Warmer Bits, Southern Hemisphere.
Translated: Australian government admits NBN wasn’t suitable for the future and goes for an announceable with spin. https://t.co/I3FRzPu0V8
RT @jxeeno: “$3b plan to reboot the NBN by 2023”
looks like 2 million extra FTTP premises 😂 https://t.co/APPIDw5gP6
@_midofo_ I did miss this, sorry, but those skewers look awesome and please marry me.
@franksting @_midofo_ @SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron So you can see why I’m becoming a fan. :)
@smperris That long? Wow. @helenperris is very patient.
@helenperris This is excellent. :)
@Fiestywenchyone That should so be a word.
@wolfcat @ApostrophePong I am SO pleased the African migrants are building links. I met some at a Bulldogs match ou… https://t.co/mTA9049AEH
beth_blanchard *wipes patriotic tear* pic.twitter.com/wkM3ZFCebP
@smperris Unfortunately I have to agree.
@helenperris Which is even more cool, right? :) Bravo!
@_midofo_ Fires?
@_midofo_ I have my gin ready, and pants-off could well happen.
@MichaelJWebste1 Oh dear God, @garthk will be thrilled!
RCPEHeritage 1690 guide to making your own alcohol, with ingredients including treacle, eggs and flour #histmed #17thC pic.twitter.com/KYCr1A03lL
@helenperris You’re a star, girl!
@franksting @_midofo_ @SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron Anyway I’ve tagged him in. :)
@MrNigelNg Also, love your work.
Hey @MrNigelNg, a tweet from a [PROTECTED] Twitter account… pic.twitter.com/OcF9WHUD4i
@franksting @_midofo_ @SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron Jesus! OK that is all so wrong!
RT @dannolan: Oh sure dude you’re gen Z next you’ll tell me Palestinians exist outside of modern warfare video games
@wolfcat @ApostrophePong Can you dance? Or are you not black?
@_midofo_ @franksting @SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron Here’s his page at the British Comedy Guide. Worth exploring. https://t.co/dhIgvQU62h
@ApostrophePong @wolfcat Lol I know white boys who can’t grow a beard. But yes we are all racists. ;)
@franksting @_midofo_ @SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron Yeah beautiful commentary. This is so going to be good for his car… https://t.co/3WRjpPKptp
@_midofo_ @SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron Indeed. :) “Uncle Roger†is excellent in his orange shirt. But I want to catch up on his other work.
@SuzyRamone Broadly the same thing, eh? Also, are you are having a cabbage overload?
@ApostrophePong @wolfcat Wolf is so not Asian. :)
@ApostrophePong Yeah it’s all so fucked over there right now. Thank the gods, the fires in the US west were late in… https://t.co/zuLIWRwgPB
@_midofo_ @SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron Yeah that catapulted him from emerging Malaysian comic in the UK who’d done we… https://t.co/UdAqEWf7J9
@ApostrophePong So, so racist. :P
@_midofo_ @SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron I am loving the Uncle Roger character from Nigel Ng. I’ve been meaning to catc… https://t.co/vJx9XQb9Bg
@ApostrophePong Yeah I mean it’s only September. This is scary. But yeah actual snow is better thast icy roads.
@SornMcBeith Enjoy!
@ApostrophePong Will you have a Snowmageddon this year too?
@ApostrophePong Wow this is all crazy for DC!
@LapTop006 Mate.
@SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron Hahahaha he’s got a sponsor oh dear.
@speechleyish @erstkate OK, but as I say, princes are in short supply up here right now.
Hurrah! Uncle Roger has reviewed Gordon Ramsay’s fried rice. https://t.co/LA17SmO551 Attn: @SnarkyPlatypus @glengyron.
@jasonandrade @KateBrowne7 @markhumphries A courier will arrive shortly with a sealed scroll.
@speechleyish @erstkate Although since I’m not even remotely Chinese can I pick another tradition? :)
@speechleyish @erstkate OK so I don’t have a cow handy, but “sow the first seed†I can maybe manage, at least metap… https://t.co/8EKqsKK2XC
@JustJimWillDo Wot. No. Go to bed.
@JustJimWillDo Right. So the muffin bit.
RT @lukemcgee: Narrator: “It was not a fantastic year for Britain” https://t.co/chNYg3GXX9
@JustJimWillDo This is a euphemism, isn’t it.
@JustJimWillDo Goodnight. And remember, muffins can lead to bonking.
RT @jsundmanus: And chances are pretty good that we’ve only seen the beginning of it. https://t.co/aMbyHw9TID
@erstkate @speechleyish Lol.
@GreenJ Obviously Russian state TV is totally reliable.
@speechleyish @erstkate Where the hell am I going to get a prince at this time of night? Also, it’s the Spring Equi… https://t.co/DvfK5vpwiu
sallyrugg Throwback to this iconic 2016 tinder exchange pic.twitter.com/ZeF1vQcSBX
@erstkate I mean if you like?
@_midofo_ @kcarruthers Obviously all of you have failed. Except @kcarruthers.
@kcarruthers This is the background I used during the AusCERT Conference Speed Debate. https://t.co/V2vjA9rZKZ
@kcarruthers Thank you so much for drawing this to my attention.
September Equinox is in two hours at 2330 AEST.
@kcarruthers Wait, what? This is all a bit wrong. But I want to know more!
@twcau We all need a little wriggle every now and then.
Today I was reminded that 12 years I ago I was sick, grew a beard, and shaved it off, and @ApostrophePong and I mad… https://t.co/igVTceS2vI
RT @stilgherrian: Me at @zdnetaustralia Monday: “Australia’s cyber power is more bark than bite†https://t.co/fWMXlchn1l
@GreenJ This may help. https://t.co/HkK1cpK9ja
@twcau Sigh.
@JustJimWillDo @phbarratt @sirisgonerogue Indeed.
@D0nPerfect0 @R_Chirgwin I will bite them.
@possumbrisbane I get where you’re coming from, but I still think you’re being harsh with this particular story. YM… https://t.co/59RAmPxmwx
“I’ve seen plenty of strange and terrible things in my time on Earth. I’ve seen Cliff Richard live. I still think o… https://t.co/udlvWpzux9
@phbarratt Lol @sirisgonerogue Rhodes Scholar just means you’re good at sport and went to the right school.
@possumbrisbane The whole point of a headline is to entice people to read the story. So I guess it fails ’cos it di… https://t.co/i6v1gjlvWY
@possumbrisbane I think you’re being too harsh on the headline. Sure, it anthropomorphises the spiders, but that’s… https://t.co/KQ4xasJHzS
@possumbrisbane You’re reacting to a catchy headline rather than the article. You didn’t read the article.
@possumbrisbane BUT THIS WAS ABOUT SPIDERS.
@possumbrisbane Then you know my view of people who didn’t read the article before commenting. :P
@markhumphries @IanE26022177 I would love to write corporate customer service scripts. Or at least some I could sneak into the system.
@possumbrisbane Your choice.
September Equinox is in four hours at 2330 AEST.
@evoflanker @Bemused_Oz I was quite interested in submarine warfare as a lad, but yeah it was solid on the realism.
CornOnTheGoblin do centaurs wear condoms
like this or like this pic.twitter.com/Z1EjXmIX2B
Enjoying the @beefanddairy Extra Episode, “Ask A Vetâ€. Solid and reliable veterinary advipca.st/6al1ikmaKCyQ
@possumbrisbane [Rolls eyes.] Yes.
RT @GrogsGamut: These tools are the type who would argue the Vietnam War was ok because more people died in one day on the Somme so what is…
@possumbrisbane I know, this all seems quite shoddy. The first link in the story is to the research paper but that… https://t.co/r8xNFZrV9e
@Rubenerd I laughed though, so I guess that’s validation?
@possumbrisbane What, like “Did you intend to kill that human?â€
@InfoInnoUTS Well I don’t know Chinese. :) Anyway I have registered because it looks fun.
@Bemused_Oz Actually I think part of it now is that I spend enough time with screens and I want to get away from that.
notDcfcBoss On this day 1989: Baywatch starring David Hasselhoff premieres on tv. pic.twitter.com/DYt297RpJZ
RT @TheShovel: FULL ARTICLE: Man Who Spent High School Science Classes Pretending Bunsen Burner Was His Cock Reckons COVID-19 Is A Hoax
ht…
Sure why not. https://t.co/HkK1cpK9ja
@Bemused_Oz I used to play a LOT maybe 20 years ago though. Weird.
@InfoInnoUTS @dhutchman @karisyd Look I saw the email but I got the impression that you’re not actually TEACHING trolling?
@PurpleTarantula I get their point of view. we have funnel-webs here at @bunjaree so @R_Chirgwin and I encounter th… https://t.co/EnjXp5hN8v
@tamaralcoombes @sneekyhat I am not a spider. https://t.co/qZ7eITQhwL
@TonyThefathippy @KateBrowne7 @markhumphries Yeah that myth persists. It might have once been true, but not now tha… https://t.co/AUW0Ma4nms
@Bemused_Oz I haven’t really played any games for more than 20 years. I bought a handful in recent years to see if… https://t.co/OlECXPUcEy
@tamaralcoombes @sneekyhat How many of the witnesses are spiders?
@KateBrowne7 @markhumphries She would not have been in control of the technology.
I have never owned a games console. I have never felt the urge to own a games console. This is not to judge anyone.… https://t.co/edUkfBJjYR
@twcau Oh I don’t think I read that far into the tweet.
RT @megsandbacon: Every time!!!!! EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! I can’t believe Domain reporters still get paid for re-submitting the same article e…
RT @snurb_dot_info: Now _that_‘s quality comedy. https://t.co/6HYCtOvukg https://t.co/fwYeoTWUmX
RT @3sunzzz: My husband pissed me off so when he wasn’t looking I poured water on the floor in front of the dishwasher. He’s been fixing it…
RT @amyvhaddad: @markhumphries UTILITY: We will visit your property between [MONTH LONG PERIOD]. Leave your gate unlocked & secure your pet…
RT @markhumphries: (Conversations with utility providers)
ME: Can you give them my number if they can’t access the meter?
UTILITY: No, they…
RT @snurb_dot_info: Turned on the TV just now, and literally the first words I heard on @ABCthedrum were “… what _I_ feel has happened ..…
Attn: @jeamland @dobes @johnb @JohnBirmingham. https://t.co/jZkmeRRJsm
@twcau Are you new here?
RT @aaronch3n: this is banksy https://t.co/nAQVXza61F
@ryanegan Google Translate has been making enormous strides in recent years.
RT @snurb_dot_info: It’s somewhat concerning that this isn’t even anywhere near the weirdest story of 2020. https://t.co/cWX8EzinVy
Was this written by a spider? “‘I didn’t mean to hurt you’: new research shows funnel webs don’t set out to kill hu… https://t.co/jOPxXNNVwB
RT @ClaraAloevera: Halloween is coming 💻 https://t.co/qODXkVi32n
Me at @zdnetaustralia Monday: “Australia’s cyber power is more bark than bite†https://t.co/fWMXlchn1l
culturewars2 Farmers’ markets are eating away at our vital coal extraction industries
@jonoabroad Yeah look this is assuming the goat is moving forward and not, say, spinning or tumbling. Which is unli… https://t.co/QMKnTv9ZQa
RT @WhoresofYore: Word(s) of the Day: “Sneezing in the Cabbage†https://t.co/JmGii0a8zk
RT @dilettantiquity: We have had ‘equal’ marriage for nearly three years. I still cannot marry the cat. I cannot marry three cats. So-calle…
RT @fictillius: Oh no don’t widen the footpath 😱 https://t.co/Dwc1YlwldE
Histreepix HM Queen Elizabeth II’s eighth (and most successful to date) escape attempt. Buckingham Palace, May 14th, 1955. pic.twitter.com/WeEAZ62uGk
@samprimrose There is a process, but I forget what it is. IANAL.
KING PARROT! @dobes @purserj https://t.co/jnNP7nREgK
“Conspiracy theorist ordered to pay $875,000 for online posts about Nationals MP Anne Webster†https://t.co/2wqdKkPQXY
RT @Picketer: I am officially running for Prime Minister: anyone involved in the design and functionality of MyGov dot com dot au will be e…
RT @Data_Vic: The locations of swooping birds is available on DataVic. This dataset is populated by the public as they encounter swooping b…
@ZenKlaxon @MsLods @cityofmelbourne These are excellent.
@Epigrammist @R_Chirgwin Exactly.
@MsLods @WhoresofYore @cityofmelbourne I am bitterly disappointed. :)
@R_Chirgwin Birds are arseholes.
nathanTbernard Anti-mask MAGA lady cucks libs by wearing genitals on face pic.twitter.com/iYwOMhKpud
@oberonsghost @dobes I don’t think so.
@DavidFeng @jxeeno @johnb78 @NewtonMark Nice footage of the V/Line DMUs and their lovely colour schemes though.
Listening to today’s @abcnews Coronacast, “Why the wait for a vaccine might be longer than you thinkâ€â€¦ https://t.co/RBsGC2T6w5
@dobes This, apparently. https://t.co/ldnzMzZF6T
@dobes I can’t even reminder what I might have said or done.
For the benefit of @DavidFeng @jxeeno @johnb78 @NewtonMark. https://t.co/zNCBqJGXlz
RT @DashCamOwnersAu: “Kangaroo Flat Victoria yesterday morning. 3m high Truck loaded with tires attempts to squeeze under 2.6m railway unde…
HAHAHAHAHA YES EXACTLY. pic.twitter.com/iOoXQjfMCF
Tue plan, updated again: The podcast pre-production is done but the recording has been moved to tomorrow. So now it… https://t.co/OjOSS0QyRH
RT @SuperCroup: Please tell me they live in Summer Hill https://t.co/lJIngctu49
@RhombusHatesYou @GordyPls Well that too, but I like Gordy’s suggestion.
@RhombusHatesYou Enormously big.
I just watched Tim Smith MP’s interview on Sunrise from yesterday morning and I feel dirty and ashamed. https://t.co/qyaUOCYAEY
@garthk @NewtonMark @Pollytics YOU WASH OUT YOUR MOUTH YOUNG MAN!
I am not associated with Essential in any way. I’m just an interested bystander.
And that is the end of the latest Essential polling. I ended up tweeting the whole damn thing. As always it’s at… https://t.co/ZuKAm8Tagf
Preferred energy sources for Government support https://t.co/Mnjsj3PGYu
Government is WAY out of step with the peo… https://t.co/eIDE7BUE0S
Support for loan system for aged care https://t.co/RP1VD6WqHK https://t.co/5EdqY1ZaAg
Priorities for upcoming Federal Budget https://t.co/uNNL0EuH8t
Affordable housing tops the list. https://t.co/GJ2ErP4f4c
@staticsan They do. See the second chart for each question.
“One in five people (21%) believe tax cuts for higher income earners are very effective at stimulating the economy.… https://t.co/wZxDXpyvTJ
More on that: “Q. Thinking about tax cuts which benefit higher income earners, which of the following statements is… https://t.co/ZDlSnkGEHn
Effectiveness of higher income earners tax cuts at stimulating the economy https://t.co/ibRkn54d1t https://t.co/j8x42M1AV4
“Q. How do you think the economy will look in the next six months?†https://t.co/7Kx1SozLpY
“A quarter of people… https://t.co/8xhkcEpLVM
“People rating the unemployment level as the key indicator for a healthy economy has increased in the past 12 month… https://t.co/Ok7dXfaKnk
“Q. Which of the following indicators do you think is the most important when thinking about whether the Australian… https://t.co/bOeA0Prpx7
“Q. Overall, how would you describe the current state of the Australian economy?†https://t.co/rmmiPi0xel All the d… https://t.co/vLe3gUQKyU
Attitudes towards Queensland border closure [everyone] https://t.co/YHnMWzaR4U https://t.co/f2HGpJWZi7
Attitudes to latest Victorian restrictions (VICTORIA ONLY) https://t.co/iD37XRorJO
Interesting stuff, this. https://t.co/901rCUlGyU
“Q. How would you rate your state government’s response to the Covid-19 outbreak?†https://t.co/X7PDSnzpUp https://t.co/tdLLGwJouf
“Rating of the Federal Government’s handling of Covid-19 stays steady at 61% rating it very or quite good (59% earl… https://t.co/qLuAuNGzEP
“There has been no shift in concern about threat of Covid-19 in the past two weeks with 36% very concerned about th… https://t.co/Edwc0jc5c3
Tuesday! Essential polling! https://t.co/lccPlCU4cH As is my habit I will now tweet some highlights. Remember, this… https://t.co/jPKHXkbkjB
RT @NewtonMark: This was an excellent podcast, and you should listen to it. https://t.co/msuq9xacNH
OK I’d better start work on this podcast. You all play nice now.
@vegieoil It’s all part of the service.
RT @NewYorker: H. G. Wells, who was born on this date in 1866, had a gift that was perhaps even rarer than being a great novelist: he repre…
@blahblahellis @spooky_girl Source: https://t.co/39UmX1WKEv
@blahblahellis @spooky_girl Did you ever see this, where the Guardian’s review was actually 2 startspic.twitter.com/HknBGKKXGHGH
QUOLL. https://t.co/vWRqfriLVY
@PeteLawler @QuollOz QUOLL.
@davidlmorris @jonoabroad Ah, and what I mean was picking a random number. :)
@davidlmorris @jonoabroad You can also just ask people to pick a number between 0 and 10 and chart that.
@spooky_girl Was the business one that was part of a chain or a franchise? If so, that performance review thing probably applied.
@chieftech I have been known to compare it to a constant “Does my bum look big in this?†though I need a non-sexist version of this.
Tue plan, updated: Slow start (almost done); podcast pre-production then 1400 recording; data wrangling; 1600 some… https://t.co/JKDWokgwVU
@_midofo_ Ah yes! I forgot it was the equinox tonight. I will make appropriate arrangements. Though Cable Beach is out for me sorry.
@JustJimWillDo My pleasure. :)
“How likely are you to recommend these tweets to a friend or colleague?â€
Oh. That’s quite a few tweets about Net Promoter Score (NPS) without using the word “cultâ€. NPS is a cult. That is all.
@rup31 Answer to part one here. Part two (recommendation) is beyond my pay grade, and I’m not an expert in any of t… https://t.co/yJ84WGSrFw
@eddit0r This is another solid argument, yes.
This tweet should’ve read “How LIKELY are you to recommend…?†but you are all so handsome and smart that you’d al… https://t.co/bcq7gph8rj
@NewtonMark Also, as a dairy farm it’s one thing, but as soon as you announce that they want to build an airport on… https://t.co/AL5fBKIR7w
LOL and right on schedule, here’s NPS in action. https://t.co/d39w1ovXZU
@oberonsghost @theNASEM @jxeeno @johnb78 @aussiewongm Yes, this might actually be of some use to you.
joshgnosis Every time I hear that new ABC promo I think it’s a nappies ad.
If you are in a company that uses NPS, form a resistance movement TODAY. Step One is to discover who should be firs… https://t.co/yPuRsnZVK8
ANOTHER REMINDER: Some companies use NPS as part of individual employees’ performance reviews. Companies that do th… https://t.co/0DoPXBANZS
REMINDER: Net Promoter Score (NPS) is bullshit and any company that uses it has swallowed the snake oil. The tell i… https://t.co/BUI11YGY3N
Would you like a company momentum update, @jpwarren @kcarruthers @jeamland?
“Please find below a press release from <company_name> announcing a company momentum update…
“<company_name> tod… https://t.co/Qqk9ivYeSv
New from @theNASEM: “Standard Definitions for Common Types of Pavement Cracking†https://t.co/gt9ZXB13Pb Attn:… https://t.co/k4hMXElEjZ
On the other hand, “<product_name> was launched on Sunday by <elected_leader>. It has an initial focus on securing… https://t.co/u3jGatcG3G
Sadly people do pay money for it. The first one or two customers might be freebies set up as a “trial†to encourage… https://t.co/S2agiDPyse
@jpwarren @dobes @rohan_p @NewtonMark OMFG 5G BLOKCHANE!
@RhombusHatesYou Yes. Yes it is.
Just in case @dobes @rohan_p @jpwarren @NewtonMark didn’t receive their personal copies of this press release…
@Sam_Hickey Look I do enjoy me cheese, but do I want to report on it?
@garystark @GordyPls Look I see what you’re doing here, but I am a fan of @herring1967 (who has blocked me on Twitt… https://t.co/1zYeslYe72
@WillMcDougall @GordyPls I mean, why wouldn’t you, right?
“Australian Wine Producers Leverage Blockchain-based <product_name>… a very fast, secure and decentralised public… https://t.co/apqjbpSYPY
@allrite That is really, really terrible but I am laughing so yeah OK you get to live.
Somehow I got added to some generic rent-a-list media distribution and I get various random press releases from the… https://t.co/0E59NN3hFw
PR pitch just now: “As the renowned and beloved caves of the Cheddar Gorge are set to close their doors indefinitel… https://t.co/ku9dSrlfdR
byronkaye Wait until the airport is built and they order a coffee. pic.twitter.com/R0ecHsTdGJ
@rgmerk Alas this is true.
I heard that Australia’s Minister for Communications has made some sort of announcement but sadly* I can’t share it… https://t.co/wYGkrgHNmG
DashCamOwnersAu Even mother nature appreciates some Acca Dacca #Australia pic.twitter.com/pYYZmiIa6r
An argument so simple even an economist could understand it. Perhaps even Chris Uhlmann. https://t.co/fIFGzHmBqY
Tue plan: Slow start; podcast pre-production then 1400 recording; data wrangling; 1600 some sort of meeting; quiet… https://t.co/27S24O2cp5
AnarchyCoo DOUBT IS POWER! pic.twitter.com/LAzqnZzlHy
RT @badhistorytakes: Wait, which Korea is which in this scenario? https://t.co/52LurcvPKO
It’s sunny in the Blue Mountains today, yes, but it may also be a bit windypic.twitter.com/0tAFtJK27x7x
Tuesday. Your parents are quite disappointed in you. Tuesday. #inspirational #blessed