Perfectly normal poo

I’m pleased to report that despite the scary “one of our cats might have a tapeworm” news last week, the pathologist reports that my stool sample was perfectly normal.

Just think. Someone’s job is to spend all day working through a rack of little plastic jars full of people’s poo, pulling it apart and looking at it carefully under a microscope. Now what sort of perspective on life would that give you?

My cholesterol’s up a bit though. There go the chocolate biscuits…

I have chosen not to illustrate this post with a photo.

Did the PM’s office edit out “Captain Smirk”?

“On the Internet nobody knows you’re a dog,” says a classic New Yorker cartoon. True, perhaps. But we do know who owns you and where your kennel is.

The Prime Minister’s office denies that one of their own edited the Wikipedia article about Peter Costello to remove the nickname “Captain Smirk”. But IP address 210.193.176.115 belongs to the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet — at least it did until the reference was changed a few days after the accusation.

If you dig through all IP addresses starting with 210.193.176 you find that most of them for which data is available are front ends for a pile of government agencies — everything from innovation.gov.au and biotechnology.gov.au to coagbushfireenquiry.gov.au and search.investaustralia.gov.au. Sitting right on 210.193.176.19 is the PM’s very own website.

Assigning an IP address in the middle of this block to anyone but another government agency doesn’t make sense — from a network engineering or an administrative point of view. You reckon someone’s telling porkies?

Wikipedia has since nominated the Peter Costello article as their Australian Collaboration of the Fortnight. “Please help improve it to featured article standard,” they ask. Anyone at the PM’s office wanna lend a hand? Woof.

[A more detailed version of this article was originally published in Crikey a couple of days ago.]

The Great Wall of Sydney

The Great Wall of Sydney by Trinn Suwannapha

’Pong has started photographing The Great Wall of Sydney which descended with the start of APEC — naturally bringing his own “urban abstract” eye to the game.

Police have been deleting photos from cameras, so it’ll be interesting to see what happens when ’Pong returns to The APEC Zone tonight now that GWB has arrived.

When I phoned the police media liaison unit today, I didn’t get a very clear message about what was and wasn’t permitted. It all seems to be at the discretion of the officer on the ground. To me that just says “arbitrary” and “unaccountable” — and combining that with arrest-without-charge and the suspension of habeas corpus spells “danger”.

Anyway, check ’Pong’s images — and don’t forget to click through for the full-sized beauty.

“Get a room, boys!”

Heard on ABC-TV’s The Midday Report just now, during a report on this morning’s joint press conference by John Howard and George W Bush:

Newsreader: You couldn’t hide the warmth between the two men…

Reporter: It was almost “get a room” time.

Now there’s an image!

Big boring “top secret” yawn

Photograph of nuclear submarine propeller

Apparently this photograph from Microsoft’s Virtual Earth is exposing some big dark secret — the shape of the propeller on a US Navy Ohio-class nuclear submarine. I reckon it’s a big “So what?”

Now the Sydney Morning Herald article is correct: the propeller design is an integral part of a submarine’s ability to remain undetected. The specific shape of the tips helps prevent noisy “cavitation”, the formation of tiny bubbles, which can reveal the sub’s location.

But let’s be real. This is one, grainy frame from a commercial satellite. The crucial propeller tip is about 4 pixels across.

The Russians, the Chinese and perhaps other people have military reconnaissance satellites with much, much higher resolution cameras — and they’d specifically target nuclear submarine bases trying to take photos. The 18 Ohio-class subs are so old they were going to be retired in 2002 — although a few are being kept on for other duties now that Destroying The World has gone out of fashion. Between them, those two facts lead me to believe that “They” already have plenty of good, clear pictures of those propellers.

And that’s assuming one of the many, many workers involved in the design, building and maintenance of the subs wasn’t persuaded to take a few happy snaps in exchange for a hand with his mortgage payments.

No, I don’t think this is revealing a deep, dark secret. I reckon it means the US Navy doesn’t care any more. But it will give the military geeks without access to classified data the chance to have a tug.