Author: Stilgherrian

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Weekly Poll: Bono is…?

Bono

I’m chuffed! Inspired by the work of the Bonological Semiotics team, I coined my own Bonophone.

Bonorrhoea: A chronic disease which causes meaningless words to dribble from the mouth and, more usually, other orifices. Also known as “talking out one’s arse.”

As a result, Arch Bonologer Sabian Wilde has promoted me to the rank of Clayton Private. To celebrate, this week’s poll can only be… “Bono is…?” Go to the website to vote.

[poll id=”6″]

Bonus link: Netscape founder Marc Andreessen has a whole blog category about Bono.

Last week’s results: Clearly I’m the only one who’s getting moist over the return of Supernaut. Screw the lot of you.

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A Taxonomy of Leaks: how weird will this election get?

Back in 1980, Yes Minister explained the use of irregular verbs in politics:

Bernard Woolley: That’s one of those irregular verbs, isn’t it? I give confidential security briefings. You leak. He has been charged under section 2a of the Official Secrets Act.

This week I was pleased to see PR strategist Ian Kortlang classify leaks to the media in four ways: Accidental, strategic, malicious and pyromania.

Christian Kerr explains:

Accidental included documents left on photocopiers and the like. Strategic meant a leak designed to achieve a positive advantage. Malicious was meant to undermine and disadvantage. And pyromania was “Stuff the consequences, this feels good.”

Korlang reckons this week’s leak of the Crosby/Textor research saying John Howard is perceived as “old” and “sneaky” was pure pyromania.

One aspect of all this I found quite bizarre was John Howard on radio on Monday:

Confronted with scathing polling describing him as old, sneaky, dishonest and out of touch, Howard said: “There’s nothing particularly new in that… I’m not particularly amazed.”

This election (pre-)campaign is getting weirder and weirder. What could be the weirdest thing yet to come?

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Dreaming of Daniel Johns

Photograph of Daniel Johns

Weird. Last night I dreamed that I met Daniel Johns of Silverchair and The Dissociatives fame. It was immediately after he’d performed on stage, and he was energised but very sweaty — and was, um, “extremely friendly”.

This is an unlikely dream. I rarely remember my dreams. I haven’t ever thought Mr Johns was particularly “my type” — though I don’t think he’s ugly or anything. I’ve just not thought about him in that way. And besides, he’s married. And it’s not like he was in Supernaut… or even alive at the time.

What does it mean?

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Bonological Semiotics

Found on Facebook: a group dedicated to the study of Bonological Semiotics:

A cooperative (but edited) attempt to make sense of the modern world with a new lexicon of misunderstanding… a time where language has been degraded to the point of BONOPHONICS (words that sound as if they carry meaning, but really just take up valuable space).

Some examples:

Bonologue: One know-it-all telling everyone else in the world what to do. Submitted by Sabian Wilde.

Bonoculture: A phrase coined by political conservationists in the early 21st Century to describe their fear of living in a homogenized, politically correct world. Submitted by Sabian Wilde.

Bonophilia: For the love of Bono, usually the practice of self-loving. Submitted by Sabian Wilde.

Bonolith: A structure, usually the world’s largest television screen, placed at the most prominent and visible point of the bonstrosity, to display an image of Bono. Submitted by David Paris.

Bonoholic: A medical condition wherein the patient is addicted to being drunk on their own delusions of grandeur. Submitted by Rewi Lyall.

I think I have Bonophobia…

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“Billionaire denies building secret sex lair”

Yep, that’s got to be the headline of the day, and I don’t understand why the Snarky Platypus didn’t find it first.

America’s 160th richest person, a billionaire who made his money from the 1990s hi-tech boom, has been accused of planning to build a “secret and convenient lair” underneath his California mansion dedicated to drug-taking and sex with prostitutes…

Kenji Kato worked for Mr [Henry] Nicholas as an assistant for seven years and alleges the tycoon ordered him to provide balloons filled with the laughing gas nitrous oxide for guests at parties held by the businessman. Guests’ drinks would be spiked with powdered ecstasy pills, he alleges.

Well, there goes my plan to write a couple of serious essays today… Thanks to Marc Andreessen for the tip.