Blog

Posted on

Two Favourite Satires

OK, it’s been ages since I posted something, so to remind everyone that I still exist, here’s two of my current favourite satires.

Panexa: Wonder Drug

Thanks to New Scientist magazine for news of this “important new wonder-drug”:

PANEXA is a prescription drug that should only be taken by patients experiencing one of the following disorders: metabolism, binocular vision, digestion (solid and liquid), circulation, menstruation, cognition, osculation, extremes of emotion.

Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO)

The Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division (DMRD) of Newark, Delaware warns us of “the controversy surrounding this dangerous chemical”.

DHMO is a constituent of many known toxic substances, diseases and disease-causing agents, environmental hazards and can even be lethal to humans in quantities as small as a thimbleful…

Despite the known dangers of DHMO, it continues to be used daily by industry, government, and even in private homes across the U.S. and worldwide.

Posted on

Fly-Yourself Airlines

No wonder this budget airline is so cheap — it looks like you have to fly it yourself. But hey, it looks like it could be fun…

This poor choice of editorial photography was brought to you by “Cochin”:http://www.cochin.com/ today. Those wacky Indians.

Posted on

Watch It Shred!

Thirty-seven points for marketing genius to SSI Shredding Systems Inc. Forget features and benefits” [yawns] — all you need to know is that they make machines which can turn three dishwashers into ragged shards in ten seconds.

Marketing Lessons:

  • Before you can talk to someone, you have to attract their attention.
  • To attract attention, trigger an emotional response first. They’ll remember you that way. They’ll come back for the facts when they become relevant because they remembered you.
  • If people think “Wow! Come and look at this!” they’ll tell others.
  • Do it quick! A typical website visitor only looks at one page of your website — two if you’re lucky.

If you’re in Wilsonville, Oregon, please buy these guys a beer.

Posted on

Disturbing the Store

My vote for “Prank of the Month” (well, last month) goes to the New York-based Improv Everywhere crew for flooding a Best Buy department store with around 80 people dressed almost like their staff.

The full report on this prank shows how the store management couldn’t cope — they didn’t like it, and people get nervous when confronted with something “different”.

It’s also interesting reading the comments on Bruce Schneier’s write-up of this event, where so many commenters fail to see the difference between a “threat to the store” and a “threat to the perceived authority of the store managers”.