Category: Humour

Posted on

More Steve Irwin jokes

A clown in life, Steve Irwin has inspired more jokes since his death — not just that first one I posted last week…

[Update 23 January 2008: Since Steve Irwin jokes are very popular on this website, you might also want to start posting Heath Ledger death jokes. Just as mindlessly tacky.]

  • Steve wouldn’t have died if he were wearing sunscreen, it would have protected him from harmful rays.
  • Q: Why is Trudie Styler like Steve Irwin? A: Both have been penetrated by Sting.
  • Steve Irwin asked for a certain song to be played at his funeral: Don’t Stand So Close to Me by Sting. (Alternatively, Dead Heart by Midnight Oil, and selections from Queen‘s Sheer Heart Attack.)
  • Q: What do Steve Irwin and Indiana Jones have in common? A: They both have a hol(e)y chest.

And if I hear any more, I’ll post them here as comments.

Oddly enough, another “Australian icon” died last week: legendary racing car driver Peter Brock wrapped himself around a tree. And yet he hasn’t spawned a series of jokes. Why is that, I wonder?

Scroll down for more Steve Irwin Jokes in the comments.

[Update 19 April 2009: I’m closing comments on this post. The few comments which have been posted in recent months are mostly from people who can’t seem to see beyond an overly-simplistic “He’s a hero” or “You’re lame”. Very few of them can even spell properly. And none are adding anything positive to the discussion. Time to move on.]

Posted on

The First Tacky Steve Irwin Joke

Only 29 hours after the death of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin comes the first tasteless joke:

When a journalist asked what his favourite TV show was as a kid, Steve Irwin couldn’t decide. He said that he liked Thunderbirds, but he’ll always have a place in his heart for Stingray.

Thanks, Richard. What took you so long?

[Update 23 January 2008: Since Steve Irwin jokes are very popular on this website, you might also want to start posting Heath Ledger death jokes. Just as mindlessly tacky.]

Posted on

David Hicks, Australian larrikin

Whatever you think about the political issues, Australian David Hicks, currently a long-term guest of the US government at the exclusive Guantanamo Bay health resort, does seem to have a sense of humour.

As reported in Crikey today (though not included on the free-to-view website), Hicks has been stirring the pot in a typically Australian fashion.

Hicks obviously speaks some of the language of the people with whom he’s lived, trained and fired weapons, but many of his comrades had little or no English when they arrived at Guantanamo. So they begged Hicks for knowledge of suitably dark and vicious curses they could hurl at their infidel American jailers, something that would really annoy the Servants of Satan?

The guards were subsequently met with an enraged chorus from the “worst of the worst”: “Gidday mate howareyergoin’, gidday mate howareyergoin’, gidday mate howareyergoin’“

I wonder what the guards made of that!

Posted on

Two Favourite Satires

OK, it’s been ages since I posted something, so to remind everyone that I still exist, here’s two of my current favourite satires.

Panexa: Wonder Drug

Thanks to New Scientist magazine for news of this “important new wonder-drug”:

PANEXA is a prescription drug that should only be taken by patients experiencing one of the following disorders: metabolism, binocular vision, digestion (solid and liquid), circulation, menstruation, cognition, osculation, extremes of emotion.

Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO)

The Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division (DMRD) of Newark, Delaware warns us of “the controversy surrounding this dangerous chemical”.

DHMO is a constituent of many known toxic substances, diseases and disease-causing agents, environmental hazards and can even be lethal to humans in quantities as small as a thimbleful…

Despite the known dangers of DHMO, it continues to be used daily by industry, government, and even in private homes across the U.S. and worldwide.