London 2012’s crappy logo

There really isn’t a polite way of putting it, is there? This new branding for London 2012 (formerly known as the Olympic Games) is a shocker. How did they manage to get it so wrong?

Logo for the London 2012 Olympics

The Sydney Morning Herald headlined their story Olympic logo gets the thumbs down and referred to comparisons with “a disfigured swastika”.

But the Wikipedia entry has the best material so far. A reader of free newspaper London Lite pointed out a resemblance to Lisa Simpson performing oral sex.

A segment of animated footage released at the same time as the logo triggered seizures in people with photosensitive epilepsy. London 2012 removed the offending footage from its website.

How about you start?

I saw a guy’s profile online just now: “29 english need cash/work — ideas appreciated.” Well, mate, what do you think you can do that’s of value to someone else? Give us a clue! “Work” doesn’t just flutter down from heaven, not even under a Coalition government.

The Inaugural Paul Neil Milne Johnstone Award goes to…

Distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen, it is my very great pleasure tonight to announce the recipient of the Inaugural Paul Neil Milne Johnstone Award for Language Mutilation.

Photo of real estate sign reading: Well appointed medium size studio apartment Situated in a quiet enclave in Enmore. This studio apartment offers a new canvass awning over the balcony, Chardonnay cool with a south-easterly view over terra cotta rooftops. Lounge and meals area, good size kitchen & bathroom

This award is named in honour of the late Paul Johnstone of Redbridge in England, who was cited by author Douglas Adams as writing the worst poetry in the entire universe. This award isn’t about poetry, however. It’s about Language. Language — and especially the abuse of language — in all its glory.

Of the many things which make us human, Language is one of the most important. Language binds our society together. Language, some even say, is what allows us to think rational thoughts.

Photograph of Claudia Mendez

So when people use Language badly, when Language is abused in order to mislead, to corrupt, to baffle or to sell a product, we shouldn’t ignore it. We should stand it on a pedestal, call up the author, point to them and say in a loud voice, “This person is destroying the very meaning of humanity.”

With this in mind, I’ve chosen as the recipient of the Inaugural Paul Neil Milne Johnstone Award a representative of a profession — if I may call it that — which is renown the world over for misleading language, namely, a real estate agent.

Ladies and gentlemen, would you please put your hands together for Claudia Mendez (pictured right), of Laing+Simmons, Newtown.

Now as Claudia is making her way to the stage, I’d like to say a few words about my choice, and take a look at her work…

Continue reading “The Inaugural Paul Neil Milne Johnstone Award goes to…”

Audi’s dodgy Toronto adverts

Can’t put up billboards in a park? No problem! Just say they’re “set dressing” and you’re making a TV commercial — even if you’re not. That’s precisely what Audi did in Toronto to advertise the new Audi TT.

Photo of illegal Audi advertising in Toronto

Audi got permits from the Film and Television Office of Toronto to shoot a commercial that would allow it to place 2-metre high double “T” statues all over the city. Except there was no TV commercial

Continue reading “Audi’s dodgy Toronto adverts”