Category: Marketing

Posted on

Who uses printed phone directories?

I just posted the following comment to Sensis, the Telstra-owned company which distributes the telephone directories in Australia. I’ll let you know if I get a response.

How do I stop receiving printed telephone directories?

We received Sydney’s “Inner West” Yellow Pages the other day. It reminded me that we haven’t used the printed telephone directories at all for at least the last two years. Each year we receive the new directories — and they sit unused, a total waste of paper.

Thanks in advance,

Stilgherrian

P.S. Why does your website contact form make “Title” and “Surname” required fields? A surname is not a required thing — don’t have one, for example — and titles are optional. Surely to receive feedback the only thing you need is some way of contacting the person if they want a response — say an email address.

When was the last time you used the White Pages or Yellow Pages on paper? What were you looking for? Has the time come to forget about printing these things anyway?

Posted on

Daft ad campaign is on the sauce

Photo of billboard:

This is a pretty stupid campaign, if you ask me. “Momma’s sauce” is usually thought of as being rich and flavourful, made with love. “Just like mama used to make.” Plus I don’t recall Australians ever spelling it “momma”, and neither does the Macquarie Dictionary.

So apart from telling your customers that your factory-made canned stuff isn’t made with care, you’re also telling them it’s shipped in from New Zealand — hardly the home of Italian culinary skills.

Or are they trying to turn canned spaghetti into an international symbol of youth rebellion?

Posted on

Deeply worried

As the Snarky Platypus and I had lunch today, we overheard a radio advertisement with a female voiceover:

If there’s one thing I worry about more than ill-fitting underwear, it’s other women wearing ill-fitting underwear.

And I agree. Three afternoons a week, I lie in the street or take up a strategic position near a staircase or escalator so I can look up women’s skirts — and I’m appalled at the number of women whose underwear doesn’t form a smooth, form-fitting surface that matches their body contours. I should write to my local MP.

Posted on

Meaningless IT marketing words

The following words are meaningless and should never be used in marketing material: world-class, solution, business-grade, leading, flexible, fully-featured, next generation, multi-tiered, dynamic, intelligent, unique, client-focussed, integrated, complete.

Posted on

Beijing 2008 Olympic Torch unveiled

Photograph of Olympic Torch for Beijing 2008

Given my comments on the Torch of the 2006 Commonwealth Games, which was later revealed to be little more than an elaborate USB data key, I supposed I should say a few words about the recently-announced design of the torch for the 2008 Olympic Games to be held in Beijing (pictured left).

Actually, I quite like it.

Which is more than I can say for the slogan “Light the Passion Share the Dream” — but then such slogans tend to be collections of relatively meaningless nice-sounding words that couldn’t possibly offend anyone.

But back to the torch…

Fortunately, despite being designed by computer company Lenovo, there don’t seem to be any lame technowank features like built-in webcams. However the propane burner only has enough fuel for 15 minutes in good wind conditions — which means there’ll be a lot of these torches lighting each other and being passed along.

“The Torch incorporates technological innovations to be able to remain lit in winds of up to 65 kilometres-an-hour and lit in rain of up to 50 millimetres-an-hour,” says another media release. “Other technological advancements prevent colour discolouration and corrosion around the cone from which the Flame burns. The Torch construction is also environmentally-conscious. The materials are recyclable…”

… though I can’t see too many of these sought-after souvenirs being melted down for scrap!

So, folks, what do you think?