Category: Politics

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Weekly Poll: Bono is…?

Bono

I’m chuffed! Inspired by the work of the Bonological Semiotics team, I coined my own Bonophone.

Bonorrhoea: A chronic disease which causes meaningless words to dribble from the mouth and, more usually, other orifices. Also known as “talking out one’s arse.”

As a result, Arch Bonologer Sabian Wilde has promoted me to the rank of Clayton Private. To celebrate, this week’s poll can only be… “Bono is…?” Go to the website to vote.

[poll id=”6″]

Bonus link: Netscape founder Marc Andreessen has a whole blog category about Bono.

Last week’s results: Clearly I’m the only one who’s getting moist over the return of Supernaut. Screw the lot of you.

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A Taxonomy of Leaks: how weird will this election get?

Back in 1980, Yes Minister explained the use of irregular verbs in politics:

Bernard Woolley: That’s one of those irregular verbs, isn’t it? I give confidential security briefings. You leak. He has been charged under section 2a of the Official Secrets Act.

This week I was pleased to see PR strategist Ian Kortlang classify leaks to the media in four ways: Accidental, strategic, malicious and pyromania.

Christian Kerr explains:

Accidental included documents left on photocopiers and the like. Strategic meant a leak designed to achieve a positive advantage. Malicious was meant to undermine and disadvantage. And pyromania was “Stuff the consequences, this feels good.”

Korlang reckons this week’s leak of the Crosby/Textor research saying John Howard is perceived as “old” and “sneaky” was pure pyromania.

One aspect of all this I found quite bizarre was John Howard on radio on Monday:

Confronted with scathing polling describing him as old, sneaky, dishonest and out of touch, Howard said: “There’s nothing particularly new in that… I’m not particularly amazed.”

This election (pre-)campaign is getting weirder and weirder. What could be the weirdest thing yet to come?

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Bonological Semiotics

Found on Facebook: a group dedicated to the study of Bonological Semiotics:

A cooperative (but edited) attempt to make sense of the modern world with a new lexicon of misunderstanding… a time where language has been degraded to the point of BONOPHONICS (words that sound as if they carry meaning, but really just take up valuable space).

Some examples:

Bonologue: One know-it-all telling everyone else in the world what to do. Submitted by Sabian Wilde.

Bonoculture: A phrase coined by political conservationists in the early 21st Century to describe their fear of living in a homogenized, politically correct world. Submitted by Sabian Wilde.

Bonophilia: For the love of Bono, usually the practice of self-loving. Submitted by Sabian Wilde.

Bonolith: A structure, usually the world’s largest television screen, placed at the most prominent and visible point of the bonstrosity, to display an image of Bono. Submitted by David Paris.

Bonoholic: A medical condition wherein the patient is addicted to being drunk on their own delusions of grandeur. Submitted by Rewi Lyall.

I think I have Bonophobia…

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What’s so special about the Workplace Authority?

Those TV ads for the Workplace Authority don’t work, do they? They’re another “official government reassurance” — so of course we don’t believe them.

“You can call (the) Ombudsman but you have already lost a house, your job… You are living on the street with your kids,” one respondent said. “Six years later you may get a reply.”

And who are the people in the ad? Barbara Bennett strides around comfortably — apparently she’s a public servant who’s risen quickly through the ranks. But key jobs like “General Manager Contact Centre” and “Chief Financial Officer” were only advertised in the papers on the weekend.

And why is the General Manager Contact Centre, who oversees just 180 staff, being offered $220k per annum, when this survey of call centre salaries (44k PDF) shows that the current range is $70k to $160k, with a median of $120k?

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John Winston Howard, a new view?

John Winston Howard

Politics has dominated my writing these last few weeks — understandable given the Mohammed Haneef saga and the simple fact that it’s an election year. Last month wasn’t quite so politics-heavy. And a year before that things were much more personal — though I didn’t have time to write much.

But I’m sure the political threads will continue a while, because I’ve just started reading John Winston Howard by Wayne Errington and Peter van Onselen.

Three immediate observations:

  • JWH and I share a Methodist background and strict parents — how did we turn out so different?
  • After just one chapter, I’ve already gained a richer view of the man. I still don’t know that I like him, but I can see now why the late Janine Haines slapped me for being overly-critical. Perhaps linking to Anthony Albanese’s vitriolic anti-Howard rant from 9 years ago was a bit tough. (Then again, maybe not.)
  • Reading a book about JWH in Sydney’s inner west means that people give you funny looks. As I explained to one of them, though, “Hey, if I were reading a book about oncology, it wouldn’t mean I wanted to get lung cancer.”

I’ll write a proper review in due course — though I do like the irony of JWH’s childhood home now being a KFC outlet.

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Govt’s new dance: The Haneef Bluff

Despite calls for various people to resign over the Mohammed Haneef debacle, the government’s going to bluff their way out of it.

Kevin Andrews, in my estimate (and yours) the head which should roll first, is staying schtumm.

Mr Andrews said he would be happy to release the information but was not about to act improperly. Asked if he ever expected to be able to release the information Mr Andrews said: “I don’t know. I take advice… I will continue to do that because I think it’s important that I act on advice when I make decisions.”

Good thinking, Kevin. Listen to your advice, yes.

So, with Haneef out of the country and everyone saying nothing, we’ll soon forget. My guess is that sooner or later — but certainly before the election — we’ll find some other nearly-terrorist to arrest. This time the charges will stick. And buried down in the bottom of the story will be the news that Haneef’s been given his visa back.

Mind you, I could still be wrong. The day is but young…