As I wait for my aircraft to board, I ponder the many, many words which have been written about Kevin Rudd’s victory. I’ve come to a conclusion. When I return to Australia in 10 days I, like so many voters, will expect a Golden Age to have been implemented. Anything less than the following is unacceptable.
- Global warming to have ceased completely.
- All oil usage to have ended, forever.
- A personal solar-powered hovercraft for all Centrelink benefit recipients.
- A free case of Coopers Ale for everyone adult male.
- Two packets of Iced VoVo biscuits for every family with children aged 12 or younger.
- Malcolm Turnbull installed as Leader of the Opposition, with Julie Bishop as his deputy.
What else? What else do we expect from Chairman Rudd?
complimentary kittens for new australians…..with the option of a puppy for particularly large familes
My new laptop computer sitting all nicely packaged up on my doorstep. But in all seriousness, hoorah!
He could say Sorry.
Something obviously missing for his rather inert victory speech.
Man… and here I thought we had intelligent life on Earth ??
You DON’T fix the problems that have accumulated over 12 years of neglect and indifference overnight ! To expect this of Kevin Rudd is unreasonable.
Chairman Rudd ?? I suppose you are one of those who’d prefer Mein Fuhrer Howard ?
It’s about time the lies of Howard caught up with him : he didn’t get the name Lying Little Rodent from nowhere.
watchdoggie1951
See – that’s why I have to vote Green. I don’t think the iced vovos should be only for those who fit your limited, patriarchal concept of families as including children under twelve. Iced vovos for the deliberately barren!
Once Chairman Rudd has declared the place a Republic, and sung Waltzing Matilda under the new flag (while the adoring hordes scull their coopers, and wipe the vovo crumbs off their hovercrafts), he will send forth the new diplomatic corp consisting of tertiary educated Kyle impersonators and 17 metre high Steve Irwin robots (finished in crocodile leather) to elucidate the finer points of Australian Values.
s/Kyle/Kylie/
A Tesla roadster for every self employed GST tax collector. It’s the least they can do to help us help save the environment. (Oh, and a packet of Iced Vovos to go with the cup of Fair Trade cafe latte from Timor Leste.)
Thank you all for your comments — though perhaps at least one of you needs to re-calibrate your irony detector. Or perhaps amplify it using spare capacity from your hovercraft. I will respond in more detail soon.
As I write this, it’s a gorgeous Wednesday afternoon in Bangkok. I’m sitting by Chao Phraya River using, um… spare capacity from the free wi-fi network at Thammasat University. Iced VoVos are in short supply, but I care little.
If you meant me re: irony, my response was definitely tongue in cheek.
@Quatrefoil: No, I was most definitely referring to Garrie Cleveland. Anyone who says “I suppose you are one of those who’d prefer Mein Fuhrer Howard?” clearly hasn’t read much of what I’ve written.
Oh, missed that one! I guess I just have that guilty Catholic thing going.