Julie, I want to make you a star (in a Samantha Fox kind of way)

Julie… Julie Bishop, they just don’t appreciate you. I know they make fun of you on Facebook. But I think you’re a neo-con sex kitten.

And you know, when I linked to Samantha Fox singing Touch Me last week, that was just to make a joke about Andrew P Street. That was just me trying to be clever. I realise now that was so immature. Andrew means nothing to me. I’ve realised the truth — you’re as sexy as Samantha Fox ever was!

Photography comparing Samantha Fox with Julie Bishop

Julie… Julie Bishop, I don’t ever want anyone except you. Samantha Fox is just a cheap slut. Those lyrics… I can’t hear them now without thinking of you!

Like a tramp in the night
I was begging you
To treat my body like you wanted to

Those left-wing bastards at Crikey just make fun of you too. Unforgiveable! You have to meet George W Bush this week, you have to look your best, and they said:

New tie for Alexander Downer we expect! Julie Bishop combs her Safeway for the required 15 cans of Cedel.

Julie, they just don’t appreciate your beauty like I do. I know I write for Crikey sometimes but that doesn’t mean I share their narrow views.

Julie, will you be my neo-con sex kitten? Please?

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15 comments

  1. Snarky Platypus’s avatar

    Here is my angry comment demanding that I deserve credit for initially identifying the Julie Bishop/Sam Fox resemblance! (as well as making the neo-con sex kitten comment)

  2. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    @Snarky Platypus: You’re right. I never would have found my true love without you. But noticing that Julie is a neo-con sex kitten? No, you are not the first. Far from it.

  3. robbie’s avatar

    i would LOVE to see Julia on stage at the countdown spectacular 2 concerts – now that would be a hoot!
    did someone mention similar zipper positions on the two ladies???

  4. Rhys’s avatar

    ahhh Juilie, Julie Julie my Julie….

    Hey, even naughty girls need love too!

  5. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    @robbie and Rhys: Welcome! In that early Sunday morning blur, when you’re not quite properly awake, you can flip between looking at a photo of Julie and that photo of Samantha and the two just kind of merge in your mind. The rhythm of the song matches the rhythm of your hand — and it feels so so good.

    Anyway I’d better have a shower now.

  6. Benn’s avatar

    Tut tut tut! ;0

  7. misswired’s avatar

    I will only go see Julie Bishop if she’s on at The Enmore Theatre… or maybe The Metro in town.

  8. andy 14 inches’s avatar

    did u see the tits on her !!! omg
    i;d wreck this chick

  9. martin english’s avatar

    Funny as well (I thought so, anyway) on GNW the other week — gave out the snarky comments, took a few back, all in good humour… reminds of Amanda Vanstone in that respect….

    And the hair…

    Not big ugly, like Bishop’s was / is, but big in a sexy sort of way.

    I’ll stop now, before I get too carried away.

    PS.. You do know you’re unworthy of her don’t you ? Keyboards at dawn, for the right to stalk her .. name the date and place!

  10. Dean’s avatar

    Sam Fox needs new pants.

  11. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    @martin english: Oh, I didn’t mean to ignore your comment. I must’ve missed it. Perhaps I will take up your challenge. Stand by.

    @Dean: There are those who’d disagree with your comment… Perhaps Sam Fox’s pants are perfect just as they are.

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