Tag: crikey

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IT/Internet election issues?

For my sins, next Friday 5 October I’m covering for Crikey a panel discussion between ICT minister Senator Helen Coonan and her Labor counterpart Senator Stephen Conroy, in front of members of the Australian Computer Society.

What do you reckon the key IT, Internet, media and communications issues will be for this federal election?

For me, I think it’ll be facing the Raccoonan’s hairstyle at 0730. But maybe it’s, what? Broadband rollout? Protecting the kiddies on the Internet? Suggestions please!

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Julie, I want to make you a star (in a Samantha Fox kind of way)

Julie… Julie Bishop, they just don’t appreciate you. I know they make fun of you on Facebook. But I think you’re a neo-con sex kitten.

And you know, when I linked to Samantha Fox singing Touch Me last week, that was just to make a joke about Andrew P Street. That was just me trying to be clever. I realise now that was so immature. Andrew means nothing to me. I’ve realised the truth — you’re as sexy as Samantha Fox ever was!

Photography comparing Samantha Fox with Julie Bishop

Julie… Julie Bishop, I don’t ever want anyone except you. Samantha Fox is just a cheap slut. Those lyrics… I can’t hear them now without thinking of you!

Like a tramp in the night
I was begging you
To treat my body like you wanted to

Those left-wing bastards at Crikey just make fun of you too. Unforgiveable! You have to meet George W Bush this week, you have to look your best, and they said:

New tie for Alexander Downer we expect! Julie Bishop combs her Safeway for the required 15 cans of Cedel.

Julie, they just don’t appreciate your beauty like I do. I know I write for Crikey sometimes but that doesn’t mean I share their narrow views.

Julie, will you be my neo-con sex kitten? Please?

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A Night of Politics: grubby, grubby…

The entire evening was filled with politics yesterday and the chafing this morning is quite painful and I learned a lot.

Christian Kerr, the national affairs editor for Crikey, was promoting his book “in conversation with” Antony Green, the thinking woman’s crumpet — a combination too good to miss! We went for dinner afterwards.

I didn’t realise I’ve actually met Christian before, until he saw me. “I know you,” he said. “You were the first person to play me I Like It Both Ways with Shaun Micaleff at 5UV.” I have no recollection of this event, Your Honour. However Christian recalled sufficient details for me to be convinced the event probably did happen. Somewhere. He knew certain obscure hand gestures. Stop asking questions.

In a preview of the federal election and subsequent conversation I learned:

  • Christian thinks that the election won’t be fought over industrial relations, as many pundits are saying, but over the economy. It’ll be about the Howard government’s “sound economic management” (as they describe it) versus the It’s Time factor.
  • Unless something changes, it will be a Labor victory. For all the talk of “the polls are all over the place,” Antony Green says this is the most consistent series of polls he’s ever seen.
  • There is a Big Yabby in Alexander Downer‘s electorate, at Goolwa, which is symbolic somehow.
  • Malcolm Turnbull could still win the federal seat of Wentworth thanks to his Fabulousness Factor.
  • No-one seems to understand why John Howard won’t support gay-related issues. And I’ve just finished reading his biography — nothing there gives a clue either.
  • Mattresses.
  • Iguanadons.

Now where’s that moisturiser…?

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Slagged off nationally: I’ve made it!

Crikey logo

Monday’s piece on the Citizenship Test generated some intriguing comments in Crikey yesterday and here too — but this one takes the biscuit.

Adrian Ridgway writes: Stilgherrian must be an idiot — my eight year son old got thirteen of the sample questions right — without referencing the booklet! My guess Stilgherrian must have gone to Grammar or one of those other special schools where the only skills necessary are football and socialising with the right sort of people — he’s probably a lawyer or stockbroker these days. Or maybe an immigration broker. Latte-set liberals (small l) need to pull their heads in — being invited to become an Australian citizen is a privilege — not a right, just as Stilgherrian probably exercises the right to invite who he chooses to a party in his into his home, we as a society should be allowed to exercise the right to determine who, and under what circumstances, immigrants are allowed to enter Australia. The point of the test is not to put up a barrier to anybody, but to enshrine in law as part of the process Immigrants understand they are joining an established society, not establishing colonies. (Many apologies to Aboriginal Australia — we knew not what we did at the time).

Just how many ways can one paragraph be wrong? And I’m not talking about the typos…

I love it!