UPDATED: The 9pm Trickle-Down Containers of Hackers and Grief

Emirati multinational logistics company DP World pays tribute to the late Queen Elizabeth II with a display of shipping containers at their docks in Southampton. (Photo: Andrew McAlpine/Southern Daily Echo)

As the world, and in particular the UK, emerges from the period of mourning for Queen Elizabeth II, regular service is resumed — by which I mean the usual mix of the stupid and the bizarre.

[Update: This episode was edited on 25 September 2022 to reflect developments across the weekend in the Optus data breach story. If you’re after just that update, scroll in to 55m02s.]

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The 9pm Delusion of His Anserine Highness, Princess Timothy of Kew, and Other Observations

Self-described “walking stereotype” and “insufferable constitutional monarchist” Tim Smith MP speaks to the media at Parliament House in Melbourne after he crashed his car while drink driving in October 2021. (Photo: Andrew Henshaw)

The spring series of The 9pm Edict kicks off in a strange week, especially in British politics and the monarchy. This episode is a disjointed set of personal observations and complaints.

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The 9pm Extensive Salad-Tossing of the Monarchy with David F Porteous

David F Porteous
David F Porteous seen in a valiant attempt to appease Her Majesty’s trained assassins. (Photo: Supplied)

The winter series of The 9pm Edict continues with special guest David F Porteous joining us from Edinburgh in the actual Scotland. He’s an author, he’s a social researcher, he’s a podcaster, and he’s a lovely chap to chat with. 

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Guardian Australia not the droid you’re looking for

The Guardian masthead: click for media releaseThere’s something weird and creepy about the way journalists and other media tragics have been fawning gape-jawed over this morning’s official announcement that The Guardian is launching an Australian edition. Mummy England will save us from the evil Mr Murdoch!

What, like some weird hybrid lefty combat nanny droid, constructed in the UK’s finest media laboratories out of the Queen, Sigourney Weaver (as Ripley) and Brooke Vandenberg, strapping itself into the drop ship to bring quality journalism back to the colony planet?

I even saw one highly-experienced media professional say it was great to see people trying new things. “New”? Which bit about this is “new”, exactly? Words and a few pictures on a website, written by the same kinds of people that have always written them?

It’s all being spun as a positive thing, of course, and the reporting so far seems to be swallowing the party line. The Guardian expands, challenges existing operators, media diversity quality journalism democracy commitment innovation groundbreaking unique take blah blah effing blah fuck it kill me now.

Knowing nothing more than what’s in the media release, let’s do a bit of old-fashioned follow-the-money…

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The 9pm Edict #16

The 9pm EdictPrime Minister Julia Gillard delivers the world’s most tedious Christmas Message. A motorists organisation wants the world to be more predictable, just like it used to be. And Twitter wins the hearts and minds of the world’s media, the puppets.

In this episode you’ll hear what I think about the Prime Minister’s Christmas Message, which doesn’t hold a candle to my own Christmas Message from 2008, let alone the Queen’s Christmas Messages, such as Her Majesty’s 50th such message in 2007; the NRMA’s claim that petrol pricing is too hard to predict and their call for an inquiry; the fact, or supposed fact, that Twitter gets more news mentions than Facebook, even though the latter is much, much bigger; and a really, really stupid tweet from Shahira Abouellail, whose blog is called fazerofzanight.

You can listen below. But if you want all of the episodes, now and in the future, subscribe to the podcast feed, or even subscribe automatically in iTunes.

If you’d like to comment on this episode, please add your comment below, or Skype to stilgherrian or phone Sydney +61 2 8011 3733.

[Credits: The 9pm Edict theme by mansardian, Edict fanfare by neonaeon, all from The Freesound Project. Photograph of Stilgherrian taken 29 March 2009 by misswired, used by permission. Mark Zuckerberg news item from NewsyTech.]