Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

December 11th, 2013

I know, @fuzheado, but there was a time when @TIME would go with Hitler or Stalin for obvious reasons. Sigh. But I’m in the Antipodes.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to fuzheado

fuzheado @stilgherrian Safe, feel good choice that makes people smile. Forget all that nasty global government surveillance and stuff…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:57 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

For @TIME to include two domestic US politicians in the Top 5, virtually unknown outside US, is a sign they’ve lost the plot.

via Janetter for Mac

TIME’s Person of the Year is Pope Francis, not Edward Snowden or Bashar al-Assad? Oh you arsehats! poy.time.com/2013/12/11/pop…

via Janetter for Mac

RT @andrew_roffey: @stilgherrian does goat milk come from a goat cow? [Yes. Der.]

via Janetter for Mac

“The story behind ‘that selfie’”, by the photographer who captured the moment. blogs.afp.com/correspondent/…

via Janetter for Mac

A318Driver The way to not market an airline…..
aviationhumor.net/wp-content/upl…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 11:21 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

OK, @OrkneyLibrary, I’ll pay that. I admire you for… um… something. Is it permissible to suggest book-burning?

via Janetter for Mac

OrkneyLibrary And at Number 1 it’s our favourite Christmas song ‘The Holly & The Ivy’ @TheHollyJohnson pic.twitter.com/9R1x7kC5vo

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:19 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

FFS and now he’s started.

via Janetter for Mac

Apparently there’s nothing better to do in Paris than complain about my subtweets. Travel money well spent, that is.

via Janetter for Mac

If not the calendar, then what?

via Janetter for Mac

RT @patentology: @stilgherrian (a) it’s late. (b) wine. [Fair points.]

via Janetter for Mac

I’m willing to put that to the test.

via Janetter for Mac

adamhess1 Today’s date is xi.xii.xiii which is significant because it looks like a child doing star-jumps so well that a crowd starts to form.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:04 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @patentology: 209. 117 voting. RT @stilgherrian “Cardinal numbers, what even are they?” [STOP IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.]

via Janetter for Mac

bitcoin_txt Why don’t we convince a small country to declare Bitcoins official currency

malasia

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:02 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@yinettesys Numbers are slippery buggers, and not in a good way.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to yinettesys

@MayaPosch Thank you. I have succumbed to the inevitable.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to MayaPosch

“Cardinal numbers, what even are they?”

via Janetter for Mac

What’s interesting about is how challenging for some people the concept of “five” seems to be.

via Janetter for Mac

@AnnabelAstbury Ah. That’s odd. I thought there’d be plenty. Also, do not search for what I just searched for.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to AnnabelAstbury

@RealNickHodge That’s a lot of beans on the hoof there!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to RealNickHodge

RT @2342: Our new focus: the enterprise market. [Also, counting.]

via Janetter for Mac

I tell you what, @OrkneyLibrary, you’re going to have to work hard to top #2 for your #1 selection.

via Janetter for Mac

OrkneyLibrary At Number 2 in the countdown of it’s… ahem… A Wayne in a Major pic.twitter.com/BP17Uq8MpW

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:35 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

NO YOU FOOLS RANDOM WHITE LIQUID ORGANIC SUBSTANCES ARE NOT “MILK” TRULY TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.

via Janetter for Mac

I’ll accept that “soy milk” is a thing as soon as you show me a soy cow.

via Janetter for Mac

OH: “Why is she back? Oh that’s right, she’s writing a book.”

via Janetter for Mac

That TPP graph is measured on a scale of steamboat to underwear, or something.

via Janetter for Mac

maira This graph on where US stands on its intellectual property proposals says it all. By @gabrieljmichael pic.twitter.com/iOtyOEnXir

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:23 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @BakedBoons: @stilgherrian would you say “all of the wine?” [Not yet.]

via Janetter for Mac

@kcarruthers @zerogeewhiz Your safety right now depends solely on the fact that you are out of the country.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to kcarruthers

RT @gattaca: No, no, no! I do NOT want to download your free app. [Why do you hate Freedom?]

via Janetter for Mac

RT @zerogeewhiz: @stilgherrian or truncates a city name and adds “Vegas.” [Yes. A good hard slap.]

via Janetter for Mac

Every single person who writes or says “Radelaide” needs a good, hard slap.

via Janetter for Mac

So not only did @JamesBlunt stop a major war escalation, he’s hung like a horse. Apparently.

via Janetter for Mac

JamesBlunt Damn thing’s always getting caught under my feet. RT @laurenlyall: Why does James Blunt sing like his willy is being stood on?

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:56 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

DeanBarnett You can tell if people on facebook got really fat lately by the absence of photos a few years prior.

via Twееtbot for Mac (retweeted on 9:55 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

bigjsl ASU says 50K jobs related to Holden. So that’s about two cars per worker per year. Pity they weren’t hand crafted…

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 9:54 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

ajfisher $19Bn in auto subsidies in last decade. Could have educated every auto employee to PhD level 10x over for that price.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:53 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@mpesce @oberonsghost Nope, look more closely at the packages.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to mpesce

oberonsghost Question for Woolies. Please explain pricing disparity. pic.twitter.com/l4Q7fxCyUV

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:41 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

OrkneyLibrary Straight in at Number 3 is ‘Mary’s Boy Child’ @BoyGeorge pic.twitter.com/CvSvCSIYSg

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:40 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

MT @j_hutch: Key criterion for new NBN Co CEO was always knowledge of local industry though. Has he learnt enough yet?

via Janetter for Mac

@j_hutch Sir, you keep getting stories like that and I’ll forgive you almost anything.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to j_hutch

Not world’s best-practice grammar in that tweet, @j_hutch, but I agree.

via Janetter for Mac

j_hutch If anything, Bill Morrow’s appointment to lead NBN Co removes the “it’s another Telstra” stigma - afr.com/p/national/vod…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:30 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Oh, Australia is sending people to a concentration camp where they only get half a litre of drinking water a day? So glad we won WWII then.

via Janetter for Mac

OH: “Only his feelings matter. Like he gives a shit about anything else.”

via Janetter for Mac

RT @mpesce: @stilgherrian @PhillipCoorey @j_hutch @franksting Is that the CEO who ruined Voda, or who restored it? [The latter.]

via Janetter for Mac

RT @dobes: @stilgherrian nope. It’s not friday. [Tru dat.]

via Janetter for Mac

No, that theory assumes there’s some sort of team effort going on. I assume Turnbull is still playing his own game from a separate palace.

via Janetter for Mac

Nice timing on the NBN Co announcement. Brandis’ “Freedoms and Feelings” review will get sod-all media scrutiny. Is Abbott finally learning?

via Janetter for Mac

ellehardytweets And if you’re having a bad day, just remember that Bob Ellis’ son curates his blog

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:05 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

YES I AM RETWEETING CAT GIFS FUCK THE LOT OF YOU.

via Janetter for Mac

dannolan A M A Z I N G RT @figgled: This cat gif is so good I think I’m going to explode s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-12…

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 9:02 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@k_morrissey Exactly. And it’s been a team effort over at Vodafone AU. A lot has changed.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to k_morrissey

@StatNerdery No, he was the man who was appointed to sort out Vodafone Australia after all that and made it competitive again. Successfully.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to StatNerdery

@k_morrissey Morrow has done fantastic work turning around Vodafone Australia. “Vodafail” is a rather dated viewpoint.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to k_morrissey

RT @paulkidd: “CEO of the NBN”? Of @NBNCo, surely… [Well yes, but I started by copying the text of the story.]

via Janetter for Mac

“Vodafone CEO Bill Morrow will be crowned the new CEO of the NBN on Thursday”, write @PhillipCoorey and @j_hutch afr.com/p/national/vod…

via Janetter for Mac

RT @TrendsAustralia: ‘homosexuality’ is now trending in Australia trendsmap.com/au [If only…]

via Janetter for Mac

RT @ben_hr: Someone told me that there is no phrase for “value for money” in French. Is that true? [No.]

via Janetter for Mac

Making friends and influencing people.

via Janetter for Mac

OrkneyLibrary It’s 11.12.13. Which coincidentally is the Dewey Number for ‘WHO CARES?’

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:38 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

_wirepair Do I:
A. write unit tests
B. drink beer
C. drink beer and write unit tests
D. piss about on imgur while drinking beer

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:37 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Herring1967 Come back on 1st Feb 2103 at 4.05am and 6.7891011121314151617181920212223242526272829303132333435363738394041424344454647484950… seconds

via Echofon (retweeted on 8:31 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Herring1967 These fucking 9.10.11/12/13 lightweights make me fucking furious

via Echofon (retweeted on 8:30 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

OrkneyLibrary At Number 5 on the countdown it’s that old favourite ‘Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!’ pic.twitter.com/SGAkJseHEP

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:27 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@grumpyshortpant Congratulations on your excellent research skills. Fucktard.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to grumpyshortpant

People who’ve been given FOUR YEARS notice think they’re hard done by? Jesus fuckin’ wept.

via Janetter for Mac

NewtonMark So given that there’s 4 years til shutdown, the Govt will be redirecting its car industry subsidies to preparing workers for new careers eh?

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 8:21 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

dfpiii @stilgherrian You’re out of the loop: cogs were phased out in 2006 and replaced in modern business by small, swift-fingered Asian children

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 8:18 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

OrkneyLibrary Today we are going to bring you our Top 5 Christmas Songs in Books. You’re welcome.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:17 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@michaelmeloni Shut up, you. Also, well fuckin’ played.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to michaelmeloni

By “job”, I mean being on a payroll as a cog in someone else’s business machine.

via Janetter for Mac

I should perhaps mention that I haven’t had a “job” since 1996.

via Janetter for Mac

“Globalism, motherfucker, have you heard of it?”

via Janetter for Mac

RT @SpaceKidette: @stilgherrian Ever tried to find work in Adelaide? [Why the fuck would I want to do that?]

via Janetter for Mac

@leoniedoyle On the second half, agreed. On the first half, don’t we have to see what they actually do in the Budget? May 2014?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to leoniedoyle

JaymesDiazMP “I declare today that the car industry is back open in Australia” - @JoeHockey, National Treasure. abc.net.au/worldtoday/con…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:08 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@glengyron I doubt that they’re individually lazy, but there’s not much evidence that they’ve worked to avoid an obvious potential outcome.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to glengyron

Mind you, the Labor government slashed the available tax deduction for self-education expenses, which is utter knavery.

via Janetter for Mac

“Life wasn’t meant to be easy,” you useless bogans. Suffer.

via Janetter for Mac

… there was a time when workers went to night school to learn skills and advance themselves, not sit on their arses watching MasterChef.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @deconstructo: @stilgherrian you’re a lot brighter than them. and less lazy. [Nice of you to say so, but…]

via Janetter for Mac

I’ve had to adapt what I do for money to take into account market forces over the last 30+ years. Why the fuck can’t they?

via Janetter for Mac

And then can someone shove every single one of these entitled fucking arsehats into the nearest canal?

via Janetter for Mac

Can someone tell the princesses of auto work that “assembling machines” is a skill for use with ANY kind of machines, not just shit cars?

via Janetter for Mac

Can someone tell the princesses of the Australian cars parts industry that they can sell to ANY carmaker anywhere, if they’re any good.

via Janetter for Mac

benjilanyado Weapons-grade trolling: pic.twitter.com/HTHBwV7yUk

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:52 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @smartbrain: After banging my head against the wall for hours, a reboot solved everything! [Works for computers too!]

via Janetter for Mac

seriouspony We need to gamify it

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:41 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

TheUniverse Sure, LA is dirty—but sometimes the trash you find on the street is actual insane internal Scientology mail.pic.twitter.com/XHvMtCe0lcc

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:40 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

ProfMESmith RT’ing this one only since we’re entering the exam phase of the year: RT @ThePoke: STOP! Animal testing. pic.twitter.com/ZVKD57OQNt

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:19 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

ATimmermanis @GMegalogenis @SenatorWong Holden wasn’t a business…not by any normal definition. I run a business…I pay the Govt money not vice versa.

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 7:19 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

iDannyOcean iPhone 7 prototype hits eBay… bit.ly/18AyhIn

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 7:18 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @natecochrane: @safzoro @stilgherrian obviously, when everyone knows Milo and tomato go far better together. [Obviously.]

via Janetter for Mac

safzoro MS Australia has a promoted tweet suggesting we mix vegemite and avocado. MS Australia is clearly insane.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:01 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

VICE A Bunny Was Decapitated in an Ongoing Blood Feud Between Figure Skaters bit.ly/1f5nzOd

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:58 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

paulwiggins . @PeterPhelpsMLC Could you send me an email to paulwiggins@gmail.com to confirm this is not a parody account. (more follows)

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:57 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

“Listen, mate, I AM the fucking zeitgeist!”

via Janetter for Mac

Topologically speaking, @wolfcat, all humans are donuts.

via Janetter for Mac

ProfMESmith Join the club! RT @jamesotron: Mind == Blown! RT @Shealan: All these years and I never knew about the double wrap!? pic.twitter.com/Q1OgUd55Np

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:46 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

BartholomewD @firstdogonmoon @laura_miles it’s not an otter, but it is VERY cute (thanks @EmergencyPuppy) pic.twitter.com/FxeQ2QsgvP

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:39 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

“In Japan there are no computers, only men hiding in boxes” letmyenemiestakecare.tumblr.com/post/696737764…

via Janetter for Mac

cxi So ridiculous! RT @sandravogelaar: Lol eating invisible spaghetti pic.twitter.com/qpumKxpXeI

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:37 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

jonathonio ”@[redacted] Stop subsidising the car industry, say tech industry hipsters demanding NBN” boom

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 6:30 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

jturner_ibrs In keeping with this XKCD cartoon, I propose that we start calling @SenatorLudlam “Elf-Lord Ludlam” pic.twitter.com/11pFsO8EXx

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:28 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

firstdogonmoon I wish there wasn’t so much good cartoon material at the moment :(

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 5:51 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@methadonna Yeah it’s rather cute, that. Fun for all the family (businesses).

via Janetter for Mac in reply to methadonna

I take Mr Morrison’s decision to mean that if we were to commit grievous bodily harm upon him that there’d be no repercussions. IANAL.

via Janetter for Mac

Pollytics That Scott Morrison creature is really something. “Wat - you were shot in the head? Suck it up princess” bit.ly/1bwiqxU

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:45 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

“Stop the boat talk, NBN’s operations matter more: Turnbull”, writes @joshgnosis and AAP. Fine headline, that. zdnet.com/au/stop-the-bo…

via Janetter for Mac

SnarkyPlatypus George Brandis is going to make Nicola Roxon look hinged.

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 4:31 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

SnarkyPlatypus Assumption that ‘traditional’ is a euphemism.

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 4:28 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

MT @joshgnosis: Attorney-General George Brandis has announced a new Australian Law Reform Commission review into ‘Feelings’.

via Janetter for Mac

joshgnosis Brandis has asked the ALRC to “identify where traditional rights, freedoms and privileges are unnecessarily compromised” in federal law

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:27 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

joshgnosis Attorney-General George Brandis has announced a new Australian Law Reform Commission review into ‘Freedoms’.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:24 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

stewartsmith Booth Babes As A Service

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:19 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

“Experts react.”

via Janetter for Mac

bernietb This man having a lot of feelings about Holden. pic.twitter.com/eL82z6i9tR

via MetroTwit (retweeted on 4:18 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

GMegalogenis Word from top end of town: business gobsmacked that a Liberal treasurer thought it OK to yell at Holden. Not the govt. they expected.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:18 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

misswired “Are you sure you want to endorse this person for ‘Sociopathic Tendencies’?”

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:17 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

ShayneCurrieNZH First rule of PR: don’t leave your notes about journalists in reception of media companies

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:10 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

bitcoin_txt This is not some pseudoeconomic postmodern Libertarian cult, it’s an un-led crowd-sourced mega startup organized around mutual self-interest

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 3:59 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

expectproblems Home? I have no home. The jungle is my home.

via OS X (retweeted on 3:56 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

lukehopewell Someone go check on @dannolan. Carefully. pic.twitter.com/0maqrZruPb

via OS X (retweeted on 3:45 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

StevenWalling Excuse me, but it’s GNU/Linux.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:43 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@glengyron If I moved back to Adelaide I’d need to be using that gin cart myself!

via Janetter for Mac in reply to glengyron

s_bridges Giggle. And. Hoot. pic.twitter.com/Gp7uY3G41q

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 3:40 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

ellinghausen Acting PM Warren Truss in discussion with PM Abbott’s COS Peta Credlin pic.twitter.com/VFgK7WSBXD

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 3:26 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

terencehuynh I’m a social media expert

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 3:24 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

s_bridges Nick Cave fan: pic.twitter.com/q7qrruipWP

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 3:07 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @Pollytics: Wonder what HSV will do? [The herpes simplex virus? Um, same as it always does, I assume.]

via Janetter for Mac

OH: “Are you fisting the cashew jar?”

via Janetter for Mac

altmed_txt How can you overcome aversion to drinking your own golden elixir? Start drinking a drop each day & slowly build up to a fill glass of urine.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:01 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

joshgnosis Clive Palmer’s register of interests is quite.. interesting. bit.ly/18Bvdil

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 3:00 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

carlquintanilla Push yourself RT @CommonWhiteGrls: I have what it takes 😂 pic.twitter.com/aEj3vGj9ZT

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:47 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Hang on. Holden to drop 2900 jobs is a “difficult day for Australians”, but sacking 12000 public servants was “cutting the waste”. I see.

via Janetter for Mac

bitcoin_txt We should start signing petitions. Im not that much of an activist. But if we start signing petitions to accept Bitcoins, wouldn’t that help

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 2:13 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@dobes @drearyclocks That’ll never work. That’s still long enough to get pregnant.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to dobes

Getting dangerously close to doing some actual writing. I’d better put the kettle on.

via Janetter for Mac

RT @jplonie: @stilgherrian oh you love it. [Tru dat.]

via Janetter for Mac

RT @jonoabroad: Hashtags are the new talking with your hands. [The new chewing with your mouth open, more like it.]

via Janetter for Mac

You’d all be fucked without your hashtags.

via Janetter for Mac

SnarkyPlatypus There are some very broken people on the Internet.

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 1:46 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

AustraliaVotes I’m suing everyone who doesn’t retweet this.

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 1:43 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

ScottRhodie Oh no!! Scotsman @johnmcternan used ‘vulgar language’. Swearing is normal for us. Everyone calm the fuck down. mobile.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-1…

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 1:43 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Who is this Euromaiden and is she hot?

via Janetter for Mac

QPSmedia Oh poo. Literally. Messy job with sewage overflowing on Countess St, Brisbane City, near Roma St i/s.

via Facebook (retweeted on 1:39 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

OH: “Gerard Henderson is writing for The Australian now? The lizard people aren’t very subtle.” “Well, they’re lizards.”

via Janetter for Mac

“JPMorgan patents Bitcoin-like payments system”, writes @juhasaarinen itnews.com.au/News/367188,jp…

via Janetter for Mac

troyhunt Handy service from @IBM - enter any username, get an identity back (with easy password reset) troy.hn/1kxmhwu pic.twitter.com/ZtENW5EGA8

via MetroTwit (retweeted on 12:16 PM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

Some of you don’t seem to understand the purpose of clocks.

via Plume for Android

Awaiting the vodkopter…

via Plume for Android

RT @bernietb @stilgherrian You appear to have used an incorrect spelling of “always” in that tweet. [Oh. I see.]

via Plume for Android

jbrodkin 6-year-old kisses girl on hand, is suspended + accused of sexual harassment. He asks his mom, “what is sex?” abcnews.go.com/US/t/story/col…

via iOS (retweeted on 11:10 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

@SnarkyPlatypus Your tweet seems to be missing the word “disrupt”.

via Plume for Android in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

I’ve just received email about “Australia’s first equity crowdfunding platform”. Apparently they haven’t heard of “the stock market”.

via Plume for Android

drearyclocks Is that a ringtone or the sound of someone’s soul leaving their body?

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:55 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

RT @HughRundle @stilgherrian Maybe we should dump Valium in the polluted ocean? [As a start, yes.]

via Plume for Android

jonoabroad If I can get 1000 retweets someone will get stabbed by @stilgherrian. Most likely me.

via Echofon (retweeted on 10:52 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

@NewtonMark @purserj So there was this time I was left alone with a Minigun pod…

via Plume for Android in reply to NewtonMark

IainDale Oh dear. According to BBC South Africa correspondent Barack Obama “Nailed it.” Is that the kind of insightful analysis we expect?

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:21 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

@NewtonMark So, you’re recommending a Gatling gun?

via Plume for Android in reply to NewtonMark

BlogsofWarTech Scientists Find That Polluted Oceans Could Make Fish Anxious goo.gl/qxlTkC

via dlvr.it (retweeted on 9:12 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

@akent @SnarkyPlatypus For sure, though I’m glad to see you agree that a nuclear weapon is the ideal first step.

via Plume for Android in reply to akent

Is it too early in the morning to start calling people morons?

via Plume for Android

RT @SnarkyPlatypus: People in Balmain whinge about anything. We should just nuke the peninsula and redevelop it all into Meriton apartments.

via Plume for Android

dannolan ahahahahahahahahahah pic.twitter.com/2eiQYM5N8y

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 9:06 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

laurenlaverne Ok, yes. Amazing. RT @reallyedbrown: Best sign “addition’ ever. pic.twitter.com/dDwSHmuE3B

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:05 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

@jeffsonstein @mpesce I believe we have just workshopped a new HBO drama series.

via Plume for Android in reply to jeffsonstein

RT @justjjoke @stilgherrian or their own snippers, if more painful, please. [Oh well played!]

via Plume for Android

Once I’m Tsar of Australia, the people who own or operate garden tools powered by two-stroke engines will be dealt with by snipers.

via Plume for Android

Vice_Is_Hip Why Heston Blumenthal made a fake rapist out of peas

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 8:38 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

stefan_frei “Your pwd is stored in clear txt, so we can send it if lost” < FIRST Conference CFP sign-up?! bit.ly/1f4ZYNv pic.twitter.com/Ee7YsSCL6P

via Buffer (retweeted on 8:30 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

RT @expectproblems: Man, the Skyrim theme just makes you want to beat the living shit out of flying lizards. [That, and the brown acid.]

via Janetter for Mac

@jeamland Or possibly why American Eagle is like this?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to jeamland

AnitaBulan The merits of the Oxford comma, via @rogerwhite86: pic.twitter.com/vSrsXkoqqi

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:54 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Thank you, C Pyne, A Albanese etc, for returning our right to use satire back to the parliamentary imagery rules.

via Janetter for Mac

mymodernmet A man walks all day to create elegant (and massive) patterns in the snow. bit.ly/1jJh5YL pic.twitter.com/Mj3cdn97ow

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:48 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je me sens terrible. Et les hélicoptères cercle. Et vous?

via Janetter for Mac in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

bielzabub Much to the chagrin of my sis, I have taught her dog to attack snowmen and snowballs while I command “smash the state, smash the man”

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:38 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

DrJJoyner ! RT @TheAtlantic: “Ninety-eight percent of volunteers reported that sex felt more fun than jogging.” theatln.tc/1bvgZj2

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:32 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

I really do wish these helicopters would stop circling.

via Janetter for Mac

TumblrTXT I’m a young girl who dislikes live porn but can enjoy a good yaoi fic of fictional characters.

via Buffer (retweeted on 7:27 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

jk_keller Hey @Reuters I fixed your Glass Ceiling graph: cc @shaneferro pic.twitter.com/m1kJ00nsXl

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 7:26 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

@yvonnewallbank @paulwallbank Oh Paul and I generally improve any business occasion. Unless we end up getting banned.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to yvonnewallbank

“Couchsurfing’s Sex Secret: It’s The Greatest Hook-Up App Ever Devised”? Oh Business Insider, never change! businessinsider.com.au/couchsurfing-t…

via Janetter for Mac

@paulwallbank Take it out on the telcos. They love it rough.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to paulwallbank

@paulwallbank What you say is true. And now I’m crying.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to paulwallbank

@paulwallbank We should join forces to do a tech news live breakfast podcast.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to paulwallbank

Dear Neighbours, I’m certain that the two helicopters that just appeared and started circling overhead are nothing to do with me.

via Janetter for Mac

“Glossary of Gestures for Critical Discussion” criticalhandgestures.tumblr.com “I’ve read too much Marx” 24.media.tumblr.com/9af1d1be360891… HT @alexismadrigal

via Janetter for Mac

RT @ianvisits: Fox News describes the Prime Minister of Denmark as an “unidentified official” pic.twitter.com/mr7XAE83mT [Oh bravo!]

via Janetter for Mac

“Photo reconnaissance equipment employed by satellites, unmanned aerial vehicles and reconnaissance vehicles would be rendered useless.”

via Janetter for Mac

RT me: “Smog? It bolsters military defence, says Chinese nationalist newspaper” scmp.com/news/china/art…

via Janetter for Mac

RT @SmithsonianMag: China so smoggy that you can’t even see Beijing from space ow.ly/rDJii [So they were right? HT @paulwallbank]

via Janetter for Mac

@kcarruthers @SnarkyPlatypus It’s like an episode of “Fawlty Towers”, really.

via Janetter for Mac in reply to kcarruthers

Vice_Is_Hip We made a list of 100 tweeters you absolutely have to follow, and flushed it down the loo

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:35 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Janetter for Mac)

Independent What to do if you’re a politician without a picture next to Mandela? Photoshop one of course.

ind.pn/1cyp33N pic.twitter.com/1TF6JFP93m

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:22 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

Wed plan, draft: 0930 meeting, Sydney CBD; write for @CSO_Australia; make a curry from first principles.

via Plume for Android

RT @HistoricalPics How to kiss. 1942 pic.twitter.com/0DmAtGF3kh [But what do you do with the goat? Not illustrated!]

via Plume for Android

Alleged communication professionals who can’t make their tweets fit into a tweet.

via Plume for Android

Vice_Is_Hip We introduced planking to Angola and nobody even thanked us

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:04 AM, Dec 11th, 2013 via Plume for Android)

Wednesday, with an ambiguous number of syllables.

via Plume for Android