Gorn.
@kev_martin @akent Please stop.
Ah. So they’re not meant to work like this? twitter.com/JasonMorrisonA…
Oh. My. God. twitter.com/akent/status/6…
Herewith, a brief video of a man masturbating an orca to collect its semen. You can thank me later. youtube.com/watch?v=TIU2-m…
@Viss @semibogan @jpwarren Exactly. twitter.com/SavedYouAClick…
Clearly @semibogan doesn’t understand who the true heroes are.
@andrewdotnich Good polemic is a glorious thing.
@thegrugq Ah yes, that. The Paris attacks had a mastermind, though. They said so on television. #alltvistruth
@thegrugq Updating your CV?

Today’s blog post: “Weekly Wrap 290: A cash-based Christmas” with all the exciting* details. stilgherrian.com/weekly-wrap/29… pic.twitter.com/KVSlYzfcc1
@staticsan Take it as you will. Be Zen.
Yes, I’ve always thought that the one thing cricket really needs is MOAR PYROTECHNICS. twitter.com/AnthonyClarkAU…
Only four days left in 2015. Plenty of time to screw things up just that little bit more.
Why change now? twitter.com/marcfennell/st…
Dammit, they never should’ve shut down HAARP. twitter.com/NuclearAnthro/…
@GeorgeWHerbert I look forward to the day.
Sorry, explain to me again why I’d want to become “an artist (just like him)”? [Shudder] twitter.com/IdeasattheHous…
@NuclearAnthro @GeorgeWHerbert WHI CARES WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CALLED WE’RE GOING TO NUKE IT OK THE NAME WILL SOON BE IRRELEVANT.
@GeorgeWHerbert @NuclearAnthro Goddam can’t trust Google Maps!

I say, @R_Chirgwin, this is most satisfactory. Thank you. simulator.down2earth.eu pic.twitter.com/gyLf7QjJWD
nehadk At least it’s not Prince Phillip, right? twitter.com/ewasr/status/6…
Well, at least where her head is. Further “maps” to follow. twitter.com/carolduncan/st…
This is an excellent suggestion. J’approve. twitter.com/andrew_teasdal…
@xntrik Nah, the pricks would get $20M of VC funding for “an Uber, but for all the animals two by two”.
You know how San Francisco Bay fills up with fog? Well, given the right weather, sarin would do the same thing. #youknowitmakessense
I reckon if we built a dam from, oh, Foster City across to Russell City, we could turn Silicon Valley into a lake and drown the lot of ‘em.
Oh. I’d always thought it was going to be some sort of ravenous space lizard. Disappoint. twitter.com/wattersjames/s…
@miamiaman @nancycato1 Absolutely. By definition, everything is the producer’s fault.
I say, this is most sensible. instagram.com/p/_yJVn0t5MD/

TheDailyEdge #2016PopCulturePredictions Pope Francis will continue to redefine the papacy pic.twitter.com/wt2SoGF7gB

This really is quite magical. theguardian.com/sport/blog/201… pic.twitter.com/GLSTFFfBwb
“James Brayshaw has the emotional depth of a sock puppet during a button shortage,” and more on cricket commentary. theguardian.com/sport/blog/201…

SydneyTom_ Where did you guys get the tiny model @Officeworks ? pic.twitter.com/JTI267HaFY

JazzTwemlow *Ren takes off helmet and swings hair back in slo-mo*
Torturing people with the Force really makes me sweat, so… pic.twitter.com/l6y7IkVhBe
Pho’d.
This would be even better with a cow in it. Obviously. twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurit…
OH, husband: “Who buys an annual pass to the zoo?!?!”
Wife: “People who like animals.”

Part B instagram.com/p/_yF0sYCFiK/
I require some context for this… twitter.com/jeamland/statu…
@technofetishism @mpesce Yes, we have much to learn from Carousel…

Part A instagram.com/p/_yEm8tiFgA/
“Four chefs will enter the Taste Tertahedron, but only one will emerge alive.” twitter.com/jeamland/statu…

A regular food place! instagram.com/p/_yCyX6iFs4/
Ah, this would be @SnarkyPlatypus’ favourite variant of Rule 34. twitter.com/deanhepburn/st…
@oberonsghost Look, they’re to blame for accepting these people as customers.
@oberonsghost If you can’t kill a few people with what you can find in a cafe, then are you really trying?
@oberonsghost Kill them.
@OaaSvc Then you should burn this one down, and get a new one.
Rule 34. twitter.com/davidfrum/stat…
fanfiction_txt Boba Fett unwinds and indulges in a newly discovered curiosity. Watersports.
@gdbassett Now THERE’S a party drug!
GOD DAMN YOU @ThangNgo NOW I AM EVEN HUNGRIER THAN I WAS BEFORE. twitter.com/ThangNgo/statu…
TheFix This is total genius twitter.com/kylo_trump/sta…
Another fine testimonial to the power of ketamine. twitter.com/gdbassett/stat…
I assume Pinterest is for people who don’t have a computer or phone to store the stuff they find on the internet. Wait.
anne_theriault 4yo’s takeaway from Disney’s Tarzan: HE WORE ONLY UNDERPANTS AND AT THE END JANE WORE UNDERPANTS THEY ALL WERE IN THEIR UNDERPANTS
@GordyPls They should use computers. Computers make everything work perfectly.
@oberonsghost @angealbertini @johnregehr @thegrugq I suppose it makes sense if the final product is physical. Maybe.
“Quantum physics as understood by garden furniture” twitter.com/socialtechno/s…
@zackwhittaker That @nytimesbusiness yarn is rather good.
A must-read. Law enforcement screeches WE MUST HAVE MOAR DATA, but they don’t effectively use the data they do have. twitter.com/nytimesbusines…
@GibbsBKK @Thailander True, though Beer Lao is a lot less common here in Sydney.
Interesting, @angealbertini @johnregehr @thegrugq, though it assumes a paper-based process. People still do this? twitter.com/angealbertini/…
Rule 34. twitter.com/officialmcafee…
I think what @sophbenj is suggesting here is that at a certain age fathers should be killed and replaced by robots. twitter.com/sophbenj/statu…
ddowza yeah sure americans discovered the ‘internet’ which is good but you also are responsible for the popularity of DJ Khaled so
fanfiction_txt The dirtiest Tinkerbell fanfic out there
Tiger is quite acceptable as a Sunday breakfast beer.

TheOnion Chili’s Customer Who Just Finished Ribs Platter Given Complimentary Hose-Down onion.com/1kd3oW6 pic.twitter.com/4jhugtKm93
Oh well done @Centrelink. It’s not as if people on welfare payments might have urgent problems over Christmas. twitter.com/D_Keating/stat…
@BXGD True enough. AU has 4 weeks annual leave, and we’re always seeing people “forced” to take holidays to prevent them accruing.

In which @auspost demonstrates its commitment to quality* service*. auspost.com.au/christmas-hour… pic.twitter.com/jGainQKwOL
@BXGD Indeed. Labo(u)r laws are another of those things where I’ll gladly choose the Australian option over the American.
Pondering options for Sunday lunch.
evacide 21st century problems. Argentina’s outgoing President won’t relinquish social media accounts:
motherboard.vice.com/read/argentina…

New blog post: “Weekly Wrap 290: A cash-based Christmas” stilgherrian.com/weekly-wrap/29… pic.twitter.com/KVSlYzfcc1
officialmcafee I am excited to announce that I will be seeking the @LPNational nomination for the 2016 Presidential Election mcafee16.com/john-mcafee-to…
You can also be nominated by family, friends, colleagues, or anyone who’d like to add you to The List. twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…
I would’ve gone with “dustpan”. twitter.com/0x1C/status/68…
Me at @zdnetaustralia Thursday: “Brandis’ office is far from ready for Turnbull’s Nimbledon” zdnet.com/article/brandi…
Today would also be a good day for this, you know. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@RealNickHodge His attitude to shooting random objects does not cheer me up. I suppose the good news is that makes me the sensible one.
I have seen this video before, @RealNickHodge, and this man is just silly. twitter.com/RealNickHodge/…
johnb78 Are you a style guide Nazi? In that case, why not read the Nazi style guide: slideshare.net/amdraci/the-na…
Sun plan, draft: Sleep in (done); Weekly Wrap (in progress); Sunday stroll, incorporating Sunday lunch; remainder TBA.
Sunday. Have you tried turning it off and back on again? Sunday.