Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

December 27th, 2015

Ah. So they’re not meant to work like this? twitter.com/JasonMorrisonA…

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Herewith, a brief video of a man masturbating an orca to collect its semen. You can thank me later. youtube.com/watch?v=TIU2-m…

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Clearly @semibogan doesn’t understand who the true heroes are.

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@jpwarren @semibogan @Viss “And we al l returned home tired but happy.”

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@semibogan @Viss Look, there was only ever the one porpoise, no matter what that newspaper said.

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@semibogan @Viss Germans are good at camps, but not this time.

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@AlBerzins @thegrugq I don’t know. What does a mastermind look like? Does it have a “look like”?

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@thegrugq Ah yes, that. The Paris attacks had a mastermind, though. They said so on television.

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Today’s blog post: “Weekly Wrap 290: A cash-based Christmas” with all the exciting* details. stilgherrian.com/weekly-wrap/29… pic.twitter.com/KVSlYzfcc1

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Yes, I’ve always thought that the one thing cricket really needs is MOAR PYROTECHNICS. twitter.com/AnthonyClarkAU…

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Only four days left in 2015. Plenty of time to screw things up just that little bit more.

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Dammit, they never should’ve shut down HAARP. twitter.com/NuclearAnthro/…

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Sorry, explain to me again why I’d want to become “an artist (just like him)”? [Shudder] twitter.com/IdeasattheHous…

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@NuclearAnthro @GeorgeWHerbert WHI CARES WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CALLED WE’RE GOING TO NUKE IT OK THE NAME WILL SOON BE IRRELEVANT.

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nehadk At least it’s not Prince Phillip, right? twitter.com/ewasr/status/6…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 5:49 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Well, at least where her head is. Further “maps” to follow. twitter.com/carolduncan/st…

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This is an excellent suggestion. J’approve. twitter.com/andrew_teasdal…

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@xntrik Nah, the pricks would get $20M of VC funding for “an Uber, but for all the animals two by two”.

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You know how San Francisco Bay fills up with fog? Well, given the right weather, sarin would do the same thing.

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I reckon if we built a dam from, oh, Foster City across to Russell City, we could turn Silicon Valley into a lake and drown the lot of ‘em.

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Oh. I’d always thought it was going to be some sort of ravenous space lizard. Disappoint. twitter.com/wattersjames/s…

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@miamiaman @nancycato1 Absolutely. By definition, everything is the producer’s fault.

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TheDailyEdge Pope Francis will continue to redefine the papacy pic.twitter.com/wt2SoGF7gB

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:16 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

“James Brayshaw has the emotional depth of a sock puppet during a button shortage,” and more on cricket commentary. theguardian.com/sport/blog/201…

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SydneyTom_ Where did you guys get the tiny model @Officeworks ? pic.twitter.com/JTI267HaFY

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:05 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

JazzTwemlow *Ren takes off helmet and swings hair back in slo-mo*

Torturing people with the Force really makes me sweat, so… pic.twitter.com/l6y7IkVhBe

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:04 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

This would be even better with a cow in it. Obviously. twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurit…

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OH, husband: “Who buys an annual pass to the zoo?!?!”
Wife: “People who like animals.”

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“Four chefs will enter the Taste Tertahedron, but only one will emerge alive.” twitter.com/jeamland/statu…

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Ah, this would be @SnarkyPlatypus’ favourite variant of Rule 34. twitter.com/deanhepburn/st…

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@oberonsghost Look, they’re to blame for accepting these people as customers.

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@oberonsghost If you can’t kill a few people with what you can find in a cafe, then are you really trying?

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@OaaSvc Then you should burn this one down, and get a new one.

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fanfiction_txt Boba Fett unwinds and indulges in a newly discovered curiosity. Watersports.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:17 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

GOD DAMN YOU @ThangNgo NOW I AM EVEN HUNGRIER THAN I WAS BEFORE. twitter.com/ThangNgo/statu…

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TheFix This is total genius twitter.com/kylo_trump/sta…

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Another fine testimonial to the power of ketamine. twitter.com/gdbassett/stat…

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I assume Pinterest is for people who don’t have a computer or phone to store the stuff they find on the internet. Wait.

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anne_theriault 4yo’s takeaway from Disney’s Tarzan: HE WORE ONLY UNDERPANTS AND AT THE END JANE WORE UNDERPANTS THEY ALL WERE IN THEIR UNDERPANTS

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:58 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@GordyPls They should use computers. Computers make everything work perfectly.

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@oberonsghost @angealbertini @johnregehr @thegrugq I suppose it makes sense if the final product is physical. Maybe.

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“Quantum physics as understood by garden furniture” twitter.com/socialtechno/s…

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A must-read. Law enforcement screeches WE MUST HAVE MOAR DATA, but they don’t effectively use the data they do have. twitter.com/nytimesbusines…

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@GibbsBKK @Thailander True, though Beer Lao is a lot less common here in Sydney.

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Interesting, @angealbertini @johnregehr @thegrugq, though it assumes a paper-based process. People still do this? twitter.com/angealbertini/…

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I think what @sophbenj is suggesting here is that at a certain age fathers should be killed and replaced by robots. twitter.com/sophbenj/statu…

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ddowza yeah sure americans discovered the ‘internet’ which is good but you also are responsible for the popularity of DJ Khaled so

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:38 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

fanfiction_txt The dirtiest Tinkerbell fanfic out there

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:35 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Tiger is quite acceptable as a Sunday breakfast beer.

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TheOnion Chili’s Customer Who Just Finished Ribs Platter Given Complimentary Hose-Down onion.com/1kd3oW6 pic.twitter.com/4jhugtKm93

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 12:30 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Oh well done @Centrelink. It’s not as if people on welfare payments might have urgent problems over Christmas. twitter.com/D_Keating/stat…

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@BXGD True enough. AU has 4 weeks annual leave, and we’re always seeing people “forced” to take holidays to prevent them accruing.

via TweetDeck in reply to BXGD

In which @auspost demonstrates its commitment to quality* service*. auspost.com.au/christmas-hour… pic.twitter.com/jGainQKwOL

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@BXGD Indeed. Labo(u)r laws are another of those things where I’ll gladly choose the Australian option over the American.

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Pondering options for Sunday lunch.

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evacide 21st century problems. Argentina’s outgoing President won’t relinquish social media accounts:
motherboard.vice.com/read/argentina…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 12:19 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

New blog post: “Weekly Wrap 290: A cash-based Christmas” stilgherrian.com/weekly-wrap/29… pic.twitter.com/KVSlYzfcc1

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officialmcafee I am excited to announce that I will be seeking the @LPNational nomination for the 2016 Presidential Election mcafee16.com/john-mcafee-to…

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 12:11 PM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

You can also be nominated by family, friends, colleagues, or anyone who’d like to add you to The List. twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…

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I would’ve gone with “dustpan”. twitter.com/0x1C/status/68…

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Me at @zdnetaustralia Thursday: “Brandis’ office is far from ready for Turnbull’s Nimbledon” zdnet.com/article/brandi…

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Today would also be a good day for this, you know. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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@RealNickHodge His attitude to shooting random objects does not cheer me up. I suppose the good news is that makes me the sensible one.

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I have seen this video before, @RealNickHodge, and this man is just silly. twitter.com/RealNickHodge/…

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johnb78 Are you a style guide Nazi? In that case, why not read the Nazi style guide: slideshare.net/amdraci/the-na…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:25 AM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Sun plan, draft: Sleep in (done); Weekly Wrap (in progress); Sunday stroll, incorporating Sunday lunch; remainder TBA.

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SavedYouAClick u sure? pic.twitter.com/wEP1aKCbLa

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:02 AM, Dec 27th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Sunday. Have you tried turning it off and back on again? Sunday.

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