Here it is.
WAITING PATIENTLY FOR MY CURRY WHERE IS IT.
@johncarneyau @gabriellechan Well, being played is all part of the game, isn’t it? All are pawns in a greater game.
“Jamie Briggs, an ambitious MP who overstepped the mark”, writes @KnottMatthew brisbanetimes.com.au/federal-politi…
“Malcolm Turnbull loses two ministers but the stench of one could linger”, writes @gabriellechan theguardian.com/australia-news…
“The most powerful, newsworthy images of 2015” news.com.au/lifestyle/real… pic.twitter.com/Brngw2nFqw
I AM SHOCKED AND OFFENDED AND ALSO LAUGHING. twitter.com/MikeCarlton01/…
This is both fun and a bit naughty. twitter.com/JustinianNews/…
JustinianNews Holiday postcard from George Brandis in Florence. A Justinian “exclusive”: justinian.com.au/featurettes/ho…
There is no Emergency Duck. Je suis annoyed.
It’s actually a rather lovely evening out here.
Who the hell gives a fuck about what Alain de Botton thinks anyway? More pseudo-profound bullshit from another white middle-class poseur.
@grum “Lemonish stuff”. Very reassuring.
Right, migration time. The taxi has been summoned.
rhysam But I wasn’t even IN Hong Kong. twitter.com/trendsmelbourn…
@grum Since I have no idea what “L&P” is, doubly so.
sabinewolff Imagine living with this fuckstick. Unload the goddamn dishwasher Alain. twitter.com/DawnHFoster/st…
@grum Huh?
DawnHFoster Just help with the dishes FFS pic.twitter.com/NLyOXAn0aD
snare RIP Lenny. Carl will miss you :(
It’s “the Coalition”, two parties that have Stockholm Syndromed themselves so far up the wazoo they know what each other had for breakfast.
You people do know there’s no such thing as “the LNP” except in Queensland, right?
MsCastan ‘After being invited to reflect on his position, he offered his resignation’ malcolmturnbull.com.au/media/minister… that’s the invitation you can’t refuse
@JohnBirmingham This has been my experience, yes.
sylmobile My bottom hurts.
@JohnBirmingham Well ain’t that the joy. I bet it’s the dick thing.
@beauvass @judbell43 @SophiaMcGrane It’s not that fuckin’ hard to work out.
tommychong It’s amazing, after this sloth smoked weed once, she learned how to put on a bow and attend school with humans pic.twitter.com/5JNGccicil
@judbell43 @SophiaMcGrane @BriggsJamie Which is why this public servant should be thanked for reporting it, IMO.
What have you done, @JohnBirmingham? twitter.com/JohnBirmingham…
FFS, @SBS, can you just report the news instead of dictating what my emotional response has to be? twitter.com/SBS/status/681…
Pollytics Can remember a busy Saturday morn, lining up at the checkouts at Woolies. Reached for some gum and BANG, gave an old lady a hicky. Crowds eh
Here’s another shot of that same corella flock, @darkhorse166. pic.twitter.com/tp735wH0dp
shanebazzi There’s never been a more exciting time to resign from the Turnbull ministry
@darkhorse166 Thanks. My current avatar is from the same flock, at Cabramatta in April 2014. It’s using a random LG phone I had with me.
“Jamie Briggs and Mal Brough’s departure clears reshuffle ground for Turnbull”, writes @latingle afr.com/news/politics/…
latikambourke Briggs has been under internal investigation for a month, @latingle reports: afr.com/news/politics/… pic.twitter.com/dA5VW7i4BH
@R_Chirgwin Woof.
The thing about @BriggsJamie not saying what actually happened is that we will, of course, assume the worst.
@macro2779 Well deduced.
@altimetr @EwenJonesMP @BriggsJamie It must be hard work.
Meanwhile, the usual evening flock of about 100 corellas just flew past. Here’s one I prepared earlier, elsewhere. pic.twitter.com/o7HHKoA1fE
MsCastan The bar was crowded. I paid for dinner. It wasn’t illegal. It was not my intention to act inappropriately. adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-aus… #excuses
Wait, what? Ping @SwiftOnSecurity. twitter.com/GizmodoAU/stat…
Attitude B, the incorrect one. twitter.com/EwenJonesMP/st…
Attitude A, the correct one. twitter.com/brynnobrien/st…
Except anarchists are piss-weak wannabes.
Choose a date and promote it as The Day of Revelation. Make damn media event for it. twitter.com/jrhennessy/sta…
@indigoid Oh yes it fucking would. It’d be hilarious.
Now wouldn’t this be amusing. twitter.com/RealNickHodge/…
I shan’t try to migrate to Lilyfield until after rush hour. In the meantime, I shall achieve success through gin.
@NuclearAnthro Also, “Korean textbook fun” sounds like a very different activity if it’s from North Korea.
@NuclearAnthro Deal.
@NuclearAnthro Fear not, I am happy to drink your soju.
@Messenger_74 @MikeCarlton01 Jesus Christ, don’t even think it!
@NuclearAnthro I’m happy to skip the cigarette.
@NuclearAnthro Yes, but in all fairness it doesn’t take much for me to want soju.
Now I want soju.
Yes, well obviously. twitter.com/Robert_E_Kelly…
MikeCarlton01 Here on Sydney’s northern beaches there is the whirr of rotors and the whiff of jet fuel. Bronwyn Bishop awaits her recall to cabinet…
profsarahj Really interesting overview of election options from Antony Green via @egadheg: blogs.abc.net.au/antonygreen/20… March v problematic I now realise!
Is it time for a new Prime Minister yet? #isiton
What was ever the point of Mal Brough anyway?
SBSComedy Parliamentary Custodial Staff Hide Coffee Tables In Anticipation Of Briggs’ Farewell sbs.com.au/comedy/article… pic.twitter.com/gaI45K71mZ
davecallantwit Kids it’s festival season. Beware of middle aged men in minions backpacks pic.twitter.com/JGxxS8AR2R
It’s always good to have the support of your colleagues, eh? m.smh.com.au/federal-politi… pic.twitter.com/XxTMbzf2lr
Oh no! Khun Tongdaeng is dead! Long live Khun Tongdaeng! twitter.com/GuardianAus/st…
@ChristineEwing7 “Tosser” doesn’t convey the sense of entitlement. “Princess” does. Yes, it’s sexist, and that’s precisely the point.
Here’s a song for the poor Mr Crowe. youtu.be/SPcsMMEMbfw
Oh look, Russell Crowe is an entitled little princess who doesn’t read the news. What a tosser. twitter.com/russellcrowe/s…
Sounds like the Cleveland police union boss needs taking out the back and beating with the law. twitter.com/kalhan/status/…
“Getting a ministry by the back door” is one method, I suppose… #disturbingimagealert twitter.com/Kate_McClymont…
Look, why WOULDN’T you give President Trump the keys to the nukes? twitter.com/realDonaldTrum…
You people are not helping.
One sneaky ale before returning to the apartment bump-out chores…
As I step into Coles, what should start playing but “Love Will Tear Us Apart”…
It’s all in the timing… instagram.com/p/_3IO2SiFv_/
MarkDiStef Two Australian Government Ministers Sensationally Dumped In Epic Take Out The Trash Day buzzfeed.com/markdistefano/… pic.twitter.com/NIfH5CmozX
dr_nic Al fresco dining at its finest on the streets of Enmore. pic.twitter.com/uTWCjCF0Yv
I have the plastic.
Mind you, two junior ministers, one of whom is useless, is hardly a bloodbath. More just wiping your chin after eating a pie.
@SnarkyPlatypus Plus it’d shut Abbott up.
What sort of person would actually do this? :/ twitter.com/SBS/status/681…
feed_the_chooks Space between Xmas and New Year’s has become Turnbull’s very own Pine Barrens for… undesirable things pic.twitter.com/gH67BzI2sS
BernardKeane Cormann is the human Scrabble blank of the Coalition. And while coping with a new baby too.
So Malcolm is back from holidays and is clearing the deck for an early election? There, I said it.
MarkDiStef Breaking: Mal Brough stands aside pic.twitter.com/WU5gDnaLss
9NewsAdel Letter to PM @TurnbullMalcolm from SA Liberal MP Jamie Briggs regarding his resignation. #9Newscomau pic.twitter.com/ZokLvJzstl
Well what else is happening that the media pack needs to be distracted from bloody fast? twitter.com/CaseyBriggs/st…
mrgrumpystephen Famous Jamie Briggs elephant impression
Gwyntaglaw So we’re still not ruling out a Dead-Girl-or-Live-Boy scenario?
And here’s all the words in one news story. adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-aus…
paulstarick Allegations of inappropriate behaviour in Hong Kong bar involving female public servant and @BriggsJamie
paulstarick Briggs quitting over incident involving woman in Hong Kong bar
mikesmithson7 BOMBSHELL Fed Minister Jamie Briggs about to resign over “inappropriate behaviour” on recent overseas trip. Details @7NewsAdelaide 6pm
Yay, my new plastic is ready to collect. I will soon be human again.
@semibogan In my experience, nothing ever goes wrong with acid.
Well this gets better all the time. Mind you, surely the original estimate looked suss to anyone who can count. twitter.com/brisbanetimes/…
Well there’s a thing… instagram.com/p/_27ttjCFp7/
waferbaby But lemmings die every single day!
Oh. Oh I see.
JoshBBornstein If the #ABC had real balance then any show with an IPA rep. would include a rep. from the Socialist Workers Party
theguardian.com/commentisfree/…
Right, time to do these errands while washing machine is washing stuff.
@sylmobile @NewtonMark Yeah that’s basically bullshit. The closest you get is TV & Radio codes of practice re identifying individuals…
danielibeard Cancel @_defcon_ and fire @SwiftOnSecurity The jig is up. They’ve figured out how to stop #hacking and #viruses pic.twitter.com/cf3MgabxxP
@NuclearAnthro @SwiftOnSecurity Yeah, I was just thinking that. Hearing that real-time first-hand narration is fascinating.
@NuclearAnthro @SwiftOnSecurity Weird, must’ve been some transient error.
@NuclearAnthro @SwiftOnSecurity Nah, this is the one. youtube.com/watch?v=1VZ7FQ…
@NuclearAnthro @SwiftOnSecurity Broken link.
@SnarkyPlatypus I don’t know whether it’s still the case, but it’s what I did. You needed one humanities subject, and I chose Geography.
Beaker Sounds like a perfectly enjoyable evening - sort of “Potluck and Chill?” (Too soon?) twitter.com/_flor1dawoman/…
I also loved the idea of the Genie being unguided. “What, you want guidance in your air-to-air missile? Meh. It’s a nuke. Close enough.”
Latest addition to my wishlist. Mind you, I’ve wanted one of these since I was a kid. twitter.com/NuclearAnthro/…
mattcdef2000 Woman, 20, ‘shoots up meth, rides motorised cart through Walmart while eating BBQ chicken’ ntnews.com.au/news/world/wom…
Hey @imalexbeamyrnot @wordnik @bgzimmer, don’t you people have calendars? twitter.com/imalexbeamyrno…
Tue plan: Restore order in the apartment (proceeding slowly); pack; probably-futile bank-related errands, and related; migrate to Lilyfield.
Well that certainly LOOKS like a deer, so I can understand how such a mistake could be made. twitter.com/TheLastBand1t/…
avalanche_edin If only there was a pic of a London hipster playing vinyl in a coffee shop it would cover all bases in one pic pic.twitter.com/vS7ZJ3j4SJ
peachesanscream Feeding your cat a vegan diet is actually pretty easy. The trick is to cut up the vegans in to very small chunks first.
@gusworldau Yeah, they’re pretty Slough to catch on, eh?
“They’re the same, Oculus Rift and lesbians.” twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurit…
“Shanghaiist’s top 10 architectural disasters of 2015” from, um, @shanghaiist shanghaiist.com/2015/12/29/sha…
TeresaKopec Oh sweet Jesus. No. No. A thousand times no. pic.twitter.com/FQ4AIGfAVf
Hippopeteamus [Cut to slightly muffled sound of Shania playing from inside a giant pavlova] twitter.com/juliamacfarlan…
Tue plan, draft: Restore order in the apartment; pack; probably-futile bank-related errands, and related; migrate to Lilyfield.
Yes alright… instagram.com/p/_2eLkFiFvY/
Tuesday. One more obstacle in your path to success. Or five. Tuesday.