Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

December 12th, 2019

I’ll try to get some sleep now. I’m not seeing much improvement though.

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johnthelutheran Don’t *do* this to me, don’t *do* this to me. A Conservative majority government is bad enough, but to have this fr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…CM

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:43 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@jplonie No no, I’m with you all the way!

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@jplonie Actually yes I can hear Tony making those noises.

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FXMC1957 12 December 1950. Paula Ackerman became the first woman appointed to perform Jewish rabbinical functions in the USA. pic.twitter.com/8feGFBottD

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GordyPls A boomer waiting to cross at the lights near me laughed at me wearing a respirator - which triggered a coughing fit..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…8O

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IanParryO On this day in 1961, a woman who wore a gold bikini on Bondi Beach in Sydney was fined three pounds. Cartoonist Les..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wM

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:10 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@ki_sekiya No, not OK. Ill since Sunday. Gastro. Incompatible with enjoyment. I’ve spent most of the week doing very little.

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The great thing about all this is that no matter what happens in the election Britain is going to lose its mind.

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@ki_sekiya Sadly I’m not up for gin right now, or anything else. :(

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RossMcCaff This is it. This is what finally kills Piers Morgan. twitter.com/PinkNews/statu…

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 6:48 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

simonblackwell The good news is that whatever the result tomorrow we’ll all accept it and move on.

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 6:47 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@JustJimWillDo Everything is a bit jumbled up right now.

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@ki_sekiya I was worried that might be the case.

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@SnarkyPlatypus @KrazyKarl910 Bah. There wouldn’t be any irregularities in Gulf States’ betting markets. Inconceivable!

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Did I mention the grunting?

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Sorry, where was I?

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Three full minutes of uncoordinated thrusting, half of it off to one side.

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@SnarkyPlatypus @FnordNelson @UKLabour Yeah but you hope everything is hu… er… never mind

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@liedra Nah I like my plan better. For a start it doesn’t involve cleaning.

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@KrazyKarl910 @SnarkyPlatypus So what’s this guy’s story? Compulsory local seed?

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@colinrhendry Well that’s not actually guaranteed. Far from it.

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@SnarkyPlatypus @KrazyKarl910 Maybe Margaret Court could make a comeback. We need more role models.

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I’ve arranged a late check-out for tomorrow so I can enjoy the UK election coverage once polls close at 0900 AEDT.

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@SnarkyPlatypus As I said to someone earlier, I’ve had explosive diarrhoea since Sunday morning but I’ve been on target every time.

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Does anyone know what Scott Morrison is like in bed? (I think I’ve asked this before but I only got “How good was that!” jokes.)

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@jonoabroad I’m wondering what this is a a proportion of the money cut over the last, say, five years.

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I see the chocolate ration is up again. pic.twitter.com/JA0XtGtjgx

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mmcgowan genuinely v good that nsw health are putting these alerts out. triangular blue Tesla pills seized from festivals th..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…R9

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:48 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

I’m still enjoying this. “Boris Johnson ‘hides in fridge’ to avoid questions on last day of UK election campaign” abc.net.au/news/2019-12-1…

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I wonder what this will look like when it comes out tomorrow.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

Eating Singapore fried rice, like a peasant. Or an accountant.

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JohnSaunders888 Say no more : pic.twitter.com/UJuBmRbajb

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:09 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

“Festive” bollard, Mortdale, Sydney. Attn: @WorldBollard. pic.twitter.com/yNWPJXr9Qk

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heckyessica I thought this was crazy but then she double bagged it so it’s fine pic.twitter.com/uFxV6Pb4A0

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:58 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

From one of his humans: “I’d better show you where the Band-Aids are. There’ll be more of that.”

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My return train from Mortdale is waiting for two minutes because it’s running early.

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@RealNickHodge @gathgwyn I will post photographs of this ruffian in due course.

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At Hurstville a cleaner has boarded the train to remove a shopping bag full of vomit (not shown) and lay down some..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0z

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@oberonsghost It’s not classy, but it’s hard to respect a prime minister who hovers in that grey area between incompetence and corruption.

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@oberonsghost That’s the chap. I also like the aphorism “There’s no I in team but there is a U in cunt.”

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Not exactly a deep thinker is our Prime Minister.

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@ScottMorrisonMP Hey @ScottMorrisonMP have you got a message to Australians about this? Apart from “How good is cri..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…In

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WeathermanABC Forecast models are all suggesting significant heat spreading across much of the continent from Sunday into Christm..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…AW

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@ScottMorrisonMP Meanwhile I just had to explain to someone what a lime and soda was. WHAT SORT OF COUNTRY ARE YOU RUNNING HERE MORRISON.

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@ScottMorrisonMP Oh, and has Shane Stone fixed the drought yet?

HAHAHAHAHA SHANE STONE I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@ScottMorrisonMP I don’t think anyone really expected you yo show leadership or be a statesperson, but I don’t thin..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…J0

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Hey @ScottMorrisonMP if you’re going to straight-up lie — well, you shouldn’t lie but here we are — at least try lytwitter.com/i/web/status/1…A4SP

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@arizclint But a Schrödinger’s Government would still have a finite chance of existing.

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johnb78 Hahaha, @Mattonews is so busted twitter.com/kypros1992/sta…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 2:27 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

@bigyahu This is all far more complicate than I’d have thought.

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@DrRhysPockett I was going to ask “Why would you do that?” but I think I’ve figured it out.

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@PriceyJohnDoe I didn’t think you were. I was just hoping it wasn’t about eggs.

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@derekbradley Cannot confirm or deny as a matter of policy.

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Why are plans “hatched”?

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Good plan. When I was at uni, someone* found the test data files for the comp sci semester project on the mainframe..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…NU

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christopherneal Well that’s not going to happen twitter.com/timmathews/sta…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:03 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

Thu plan, remainder: Two brief errands; 1529 train to Mortdale; 1600 meet a new cat, because I’ll be feeding them o..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…nL

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bylijing super low water levels in mid-Yangtze (near Wuhan) as droughts continue. Left: now; Right: flooding season…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…K5

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:58 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

He’s gonna run out of dead cats sooner or later. twitter.com/SalingerPrivac…

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@Gin_ev_ra True. For the roos it’s not shooting females with joeys and that sort of thing.

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@munin It does, and yet I don’t think the Guardian wanted to go for friendly with that story.

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@jodiem I wore desert boots too, as was the custom at that time.

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@franksting That would be Hugh Fraser, born 1963, who bought a farm near Armidale. smh.com.au/lifestyle/life… So probably, yes.

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@jodiem The boy is wearing desert boots.

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“Harvested” is an interesting word. Like how one supplier of kangaroo meat talks about the kangaroos having been “s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ff

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The decade that fashion forgot… twitter.com/CanberraInside…

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@jonoabroad @kcarruthers @pookeeper @Runkeeper Thing is, I started that account as a joke but it’s actually a real..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Oo

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@jonoabroad @kcarruthers Well before it’s killed, there is @pookeeper, along the lines of @Runkeeper.

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AmyRemeikis The only actual ‘War on Christmas’ is over fruit mince pies and yet, none of our politicians are brave enough to st..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…M0

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 12:57 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

Smith_n_Chips The fucking asterix explaining the analogy is sending me pic.twitter.com/6Pl2zganzr

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:26 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@kcarruthers It’s been 7 all the way, Baby, since Sunday morning.

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@piacandrews @BenMitraKahn The only problem, then, was that it was ruined with a meeting.

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Has Shane Stone fixed the drought yet?

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Eventmechanics .@tracyireland4 making the observation that Dorè’s The New Zealander, 1878, depicting a future tourist from NZ visi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ls

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 12:02 PM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

CptHollingworth 30 to 50 of them, in fact. twitter.com/genderoftheday…

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Maybe I could record a podcast mini-episode about my poo.

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Goddammit I’ll have to head out for more drugs soon.

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@crispin_harris @ScottsoWales They exist, yes. Useful? Probably. But why take the most expensive path possible? It’..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Zt

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Airminded “Politicians can easily be protected from an animated mob” - Hughes was already onto this: airminded.org/2012/02/02/cou… pic.twitter.com/yqQyZIAhO7

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 11:41 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@maldamkar Thanks. There’s gradual improvement, but it’s just bloody annoying.

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The Fist of Coal is all the way up this one. It is too late for him. [Shakes head sadly.] twitter.com/fitzhunter/sta…

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@drsimmo Nah it’s one of those annoying non-linear things.

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Thu plan, confirmed: Slow start, because I’m still recovering (in fact I’m still in bed, mostly, because [graphic d..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…dI

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Hypothesis: The more frequently someone uses the aus pol hash tag the less likely they are to have the faintest ide..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xF

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@Davehaha2001 @dobes @sspencer_63 Sigh. You don’t actually know anything about submarines at all, do you.

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dobes Any thoughts on number of days until ScoMo hides in a fridge? twitter.com/hughriminton/s…

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@Davehaha2001 @dobes @sspencer_63 They don’t. Wilkie is suggesting they “could” be. Dutton — and I hate to say this.twitter.com/i/web/status/1…79A

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@dfpiii Well now this is where it gets tricky. Does the average matter when the bell curve, like anywhere, is skewed to the stupid end?

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@jpwarren I’m so up for “Camels Camels Camels”.

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hoxtonwanka The Kids: we’ll create a new electronic currency to bypass The Man

The Man: cool, I’ll use the same technology to..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…eU

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 9:34 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@jpwarren This “Richard E Grant Doing Things” theme could be a winner.

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@dahowlett Bon chance, Monsieur. Polls close at 9am tomorrow Sydney time so I’ll be watching with interest.

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In hindsight a 50-year-old joke is probably not the best allusion. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…” twitter.com/Margaretmaryle…

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buckleup Never let go of the 1990s twitter.com/engadget/statu…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 9:04 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

davpope Queensland relief
<my Canavan cartoon in today’s @canberratimes | cartoon gallery goo.gl/oc0BNQ> pic.twitter.com/SKJHfUZ4q0

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:00 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

@DecayRSO It wasn’t, though. He was just tired and dejected.

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From the @LowyInstitute: “Panel discussion: Taiwan’s 2020 Elections” soundcloud.com/lowyinstitute/…

This is the thing I c..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…dh

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@jpwarren @jonoabroad Unserious means hilarious, and hilarious consequences do and should exist.

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AyoCaesar A lickle Vaseline’ll sort that right out pic.twitter.com/oCwQy2otJB

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:50 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

@jonoabroad @jpwarren I do like “There should be serious consequences” because it goes all vague about where the co..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…6K

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@dobes @davpope @canberratimes Tuesday’s was quite good too. (I’m just catching up.) pic.twitter.com/vozhigkzkX

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@aleeb88 Absolutely. :) They’re just structured differently.

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NSWRFS At 8.30am there are 113 fires burning across NSW with over 60 yet to be contained.

While conditions have eased acr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2K

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 8:39 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

Well a sternly-worded interview on a breakfast television program, should definitely do the trick. twitter.com/BreakfastNews/…

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twlldun Norway gives it to us every year, in commemoration of us fighting your sort in 1939-45. twitter.com/KTHopkins/stat…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:34 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Twitter Web App)

AyoCaesar Green and Lib Dem voters in Uxbridge have a chance to make history and unseat Boris Johnson- but only if they lend..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gK

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:32 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via Twitter Web App)

Not even the Catholic Church can help you with this confession. twitter.com/fesshole/statu…

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@SnarkyPlatypus Sigh. The main problem here is that my two most frequent WhatsApp messagers this week have been you..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1q

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Actually when you put it like this it sounds kinda cool. twitter.com/Netmeetme/stat…

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Today’s weather for Sydney. Again. pic.twitter.com/qS2K5wZqlW

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timdunlop Actual attempts by the media to hold politicians to account are becoming so rare that when someone tries to do it–-twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tJaFrF

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 8:19 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

@dobes @sspencer_63 Indeed. I looked up some data on this the other day. Coulson’s last C-130 conversions were $7 m..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Cb

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I had a LOT of seriously weird dreams last night. Even weirder than usual. But the main thing I remember now is Ric..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gN

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@dobes @sspencer_63 How many water bombers does $11 million buy? Two. Maybe. (Also why are we assuming water bomber..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ku

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@bengrubb It was included in the @CarnegieEndow FinCyber Update monthly news summary, one of the many interesting t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…MM

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

I’d missed this one. “Banks warned to expect ‘tougher’ breach enforcement amid poor ‘cyber hygiene’” by @bengrubb (..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…V4

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Thu plan, draft: Slow start, because I’m still recovering; potter through the backlog of comms, probably in the Dar..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…R3

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Thu plan, the background: For the first time since Sunday morning it’s… well… people complained when I gave too..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…z6

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This is key though. The companies are so far up their own bubble of self-pleasuring that they’ve gone blind. (We ca..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…p6

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A Fleshlight inside every Alexa device!

(I know a billion people have already said this, but really, @BW?) twitter.com/BW/status/1204…

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@darrenpauli Termite mound? Or alien seed pod. Hard to say.

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@markhumphries It’s funny how everyone seems to have fallen for the hoax Thunberg TIME cover when the real one had..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…GL

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markhumphries A few people are going to need this today. twitter.com/markhumphries/…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:38 AM, Dec 12th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

To be fair, though, there’s something wrong with me.

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Bah. I just imagined it then. The refrigerator was purple. Then I imagined Churchill inflating himself with a bicyc..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ok

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Thursday. Even if you had a toboggan there’d be no point. It couldn’t sing. Not in tune, anyway. Thursday.

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