Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

December 25th, 2019

OK, Christmas Kids, I’ve had enough of your day and I haven’t interfered with any of your pets or domestic livestoc..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tr

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@Ng88Mr Orly? This isn’t a good thing then. Though I know he’s had serious depression so I’m trying not to judge.

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@JustJimWillDo @R_Chirgwin @DrRhysPockett @johnb78 Yeah nah the “older is better” thing about alcohol is a myth.

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@gths So am I, but not that chonky.

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@JustJimWillDo @DrRhysPockett @johnb78 There’s quite a lot here though. I mean, a LOT.

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I saw a recent photograph of James Packer earlier today and I will never worry about my weight every again.

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@JustJimWillDo @DrRhysPockett @johnb78 I have access to the gin and prosecco supplies, obviously.

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This is not a question I expected to be asking at Christmas. Or at any other time. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

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@DavidFeng So you’re saying I can’t fuck your dog?

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@paulwallbank @mpesce No, if you can’t tell the story in 45 minutes then you’re a failure.

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@DavidFeng No, I’m not going to have sex with it. What is wrong with you?

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Sorting things out.

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@DrRhysPockett Correct. And isn’t it Romanian anyway?

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@DavidFeng I am happy to take care of a dog too.

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@timpoliti I dunno, I don’t read these people. Life’s too short.

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@_midofo_ @SnarkyPlatypus Yeah the PlatyDad is a bloody good cook.

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@DavidFeng Look I’m just cat-sitting in Ashfield in Sydney and I don’t care about anything any more.

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@paulbam3 Not quite the same thing, is it.

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@DavidFeng But that’s so not going to happen. The Carlingford Line was a relic of past decades.

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@DavidFeng Well it’s just going to be a light rail line. Like the George Street tram but maybe slightly faster.

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@mr_cognitive Yeah that’s not going to happen, not matter how magic the baby is.

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Btw, this is Christmas Lunch at @SnarkyPlatypus’ place earlier, but with the photo lined up properly. pic.twitter.com/Jy0Nk0fQS5

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@photogramel Yeah nah that’s not going to happen.

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@DavidFeng Are you suggesting that I should randomly sniff railway stations?

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@schlutes You’re not drunk after 2pm on Christmas Day? Are you ill?

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Can you imagine the kind of tragic prick who’d call out a typo at Christmas? twitter.com/_grammar_/stat…

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Actually I am not surprised at all.

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I’m kinda surprised that so many of your are arseholes at Christmas.

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@DavidFeng @SnarkyPlatypus A n y w a y … we are going to “Cats” on Friday because we have ourselves and we will report back.

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@DavidFeng @SnarkyPlatypus Sure, but did they buy tickets to “Cats”?

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@DavidFeng @SnarkyPlatypus I just paid for the tickets, so I am an idiot.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@DavidFeng Whatever. @SnarkyPlatypus and I are going to see “Cats” on Friday.

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@margotdate I can’t be held responsible for that.

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@DavidFeng Apparently “Cats” is terrible. Which is why we’re going to see it.

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@Sam_Hickey It’s this at Summer Hill, but some of us including @SnarkyPlatypus believe the pets never existed. dailytelegraph.com.au/newslocal/inne…

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Passing the Hill of Dead Pets. Happy Christmas to the Dead Pets.

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Town Hall station smells like poo.

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@girlie_swot Oh I hadn’t thought of that! I’m a huge fan of Jeffrey Smart and you’re right!

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@JustJimWillDo Merry Christmas, no matter how many claws it involves.

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FXMC1957 25 December 1932. King George V made the first Royal Christmas broadcast on BBC Radio. The tradition has continued..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…WO

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@GJ203 Yeah nah this will end so badly.

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@JustJimWillDo This is all bullshit and not what you said.

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This makes no fucking sense. Have another whisky and get back to me. twitter.com/Pontifex/statu…

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The wonderful thing about Christmas is that no one is ever drunk.

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@erstkate So it would seem. Anyway, here we are.

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@garystark And to you and yours, Sir! I have been fed heaps by @SnarkyPlatypus’ parents and now I have gin.

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TrainsInfo After binge watching ‘Elf’ & ‘Die Hard’ to get into the Christmas Spirit, it’s Becky on board for your PM updates…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…JI

via Salesforce - Social Studio (retweeted on 2:36 PM, Dec 25th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@dobes Really? I’d have thought there’d be more locals.

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AmyThunig Murri Christmas everyone! Kids have opened & been exhausted by their gifts already, & I’m looking forward to day dr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Tc

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coolguy69666 Merry Christmas from my kitchen pic.twitter.com/k3uhkPhZ2W

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:46 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

Nash076 What’s wrong with this concept? pic.twitter.com/I3aJoFiFYh

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:44 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

JanelleCShane me: i wonder what would happen if i trained the neural net gpt-2 on christmas carols?

me: …

me: oh NO..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…YQ

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:41 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

smotus Trump: [slurring] Robots are stealing white people’s luggage.
Media: Trump Luggage Attack Sets Up Clash With Dems
G..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…v0

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 11:41 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

70s_party Who said romance is dead? pic.twitter.com/SXmx65Rldy

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:39 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@SnarkyPlatypus This could all end very badly for him and require years of therapy.

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Something for archaeologists to think about. twitter.com/fesshole/statu…

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Maybe you could wrap tinsel around the pantographs.

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@marcuskelson @SnarkyPlatypus You’re quite right. I shall remain silent on this matter.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Can you airfry something that thick? Or has he sliced it into steaks?

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@marcuskelson @SnarkyPlatypus I thought of an answer to Marcus’ question but I dare not say it out loud.

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He is wearing long white socks with sandals ironically.

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A hipster on the station platform has just opened a packet of Sao biscuits and is eating them carefully one by one.

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NASA 🎁 Have yourself a merry little GIFmas.

Holiday-themed GIFs are here! 🎅 🎄 ❄️ Check ‘em out on @GIPHY by searching..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4V

via Sprinklr (retweeted on 11:06 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

creamygoodness_ Honestly can’t believe that the Boys are Back in Town by Thin Lizzy isn’t a more widely accepted Christmas song. Al..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2h

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:03 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

I reckon that on Christmas Day @TrainsInfo should put antlers on the trains. pic.twitter.com/Li2aDYZv6y

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Suddenly realising this is the first actual Christmas Lunch I’ve been to in at least 15 or maybe even 20 years. It feels weird.

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_youhadonejob1 Please read all directions before assembling your cat. pic.twitter.com/W3HePqMVPx

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:38 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

@derekbradley @SnarkyPlatypus Fascinating, isn’t it. If only it were just an intellectual exercise.

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@SnarkyPlatypus What’s Alexander Downer ever done to you?

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MrGeorgeWallace This is my dude right here. pic.twitter.com/EDaFdv06AX

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:18 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

@dprk_ebooks @SnarkyPlatypus I know I shouldn’t do this, but the more I look at the video the more I see what seem..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…MX

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MichaelSmyth_ “All I want for Christmas… is a perm.” pic.twitter.com/epHAoE4hv6

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:03 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

@dprk_ebooks Yeah that’s a scarily accurate observation, I think. I hope someone is checking that he’s OK.

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e_kaspersky Merry Christmas, folks! pic.twitter.com/eWW3H04E1U

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:00 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

Anyway I think there’s more to worry about here. pic.twitter.com/FLgs70DINn

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A scrap of straw from all the hay being thrown around by the cows. Why are people having trouble with this? Haven’t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…8h

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@SnarkyPlatypus Is that the new cruise ship that does tours for newly-single people?

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Well done, Australia! @ScottMorrisonMP and @Barnaby_Joyce are trending more than Santa at Christmas.

(Before anyon..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…m9

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For those still organising Christmas Lunch, here’s @JohnBirmingham’s “How to cook the perfect steak”. cheeseburgergothic.com/show/6954

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@jacquirudd Cows are not tidy eaters. That’s just them throwing the hay around as they scoff out a mouthful. You ge..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…8m

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As the video shows, Mr Joyce already has a manger.

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@timpoliti No this would be a solemn tradition. Like Australia Day or the Melbourne Cup.

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@SnarkyPlatypus No breakfast television?!?!1!? Say it isn’t so!

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@irisherself Well not if they’re drinking Coronas, no. They are already beyond hope.

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This would out-rate the Queen’s Christmas Message.

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This should become a Christmas tradition. For all our families. On Christmas Eve we gather to watch the ritual Feed..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…rt

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SixthTone Replug: It is perfectly legal to be Christian in China. However, the country’s anti-Christmas brigade argues that m..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2h

via Hootsuite Inc. (retweeted on 8:10 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

Given how there’s usually only rubbish on TV on the afternoon of Christmas Day, next year I should do an educational livestream.

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Wed plan, Christmas edition: Merry shitposting; Christmas Lunch, Chatswood; roll back downhill to Ashfield, with or..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ul

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Mr_Considerate A year ago today one man made the ultimate sacrifice. pic.twitter.com/PdP7oMPqUc

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:57 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

@R_Chirgwin Just be glad it’s his face. Some people aren’t as fortunate.

via TweetDeck in reply to R_Chirgwin

Sigh. I was going to sleep in a bit this morning. But, you know, spiders.

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Histreepix An alt-Bunny group breaks up a meeting of Christmas “Christards”, demanding a return to “true Easter values for tru..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…Ea

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:48 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via Twitter Web App)

shockproofbeats 90 seconds’ worth of disconnected segments from a poem he learned in school. This is exactly as impressive as someo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Sj

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:45 AM, Dec 25th, 2019 via TweetDeck)

Sydney’s weather is lovely today, though there will only be a trace of rain. pic.twitter.com/9rxwFf4vq4

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I think I’ll get a copy of this book for @SnarkyPlatypus. It looks brilliant. twitter.com/smilinglaura/s…

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Happy Christmas. I’ve just had a spider walk across my face so I’m awake now. Did Baby Jesus bring you anything as good as that?

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Wednesday. Never trust a capybara with a barometer. Wednesday.

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