Author: Stilgherrian

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Eürobeat: Julia Zemiro touched me!

I’m a fan of Julia Zemiro, host of SBS’s RocKwiz, so it was a sublime pleasure to see her play the “beautiful and beguiling” co-host Bronya, “the face of modern Bosnia-Herzegovina,” in the Eurovision send-up stage show Eürobeat on Thursday night.

Sergei & Bronya

Julia is Bronya and, with the delightfully self-conscious Sergei (Jason Geary), brings us the the stilted, tacky presentation we come to know and love from the “real” contest. The rest of the cast captures perfectly the gamut of eurotrash — from the UK’s cheesey duo Rayne & Sheiner’s I Love To Love To Love (Love) and Russian boy-band KGBoys with Ice Queen (“She’s frozen my heart.”) to Iceland’s Björk-esque Gert Grollmersdetter and Love Ballad #3A.

Many good words have already been written about this show, including an article in the Sydney Morning Herald. And I agree, this is all great fun. Yes, plenty of jokes about goats, and turnips. But this is Eurovision: cliché is compulsory.

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“Honourable” is a nice compliment

My good friend and colleague Zern Liew gave me a copy of Cubicle Commando today — not as you might guess from the title some sort of military-themed gay beat sex DVD, but a new book he co-authored with Lisa Messenger.

Inside he thanks…

Stilgherrian for being one of the most perceptive and honourable people I have had the opportunity to learn from.

Am I chuffed or what? Of all the adjectives which could be used to describe me, I think “honourable” is one of the best ever.

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Why the US space program is shite

The Final FrontierThanks for joining us. In the centre of the screen, wearing the white spacesuit — sorry, white Extra-Vehicular Mobility Unit — is Heidi Piper. This is her first Extra-Vehicular Activity in her brand new Extra-Vehicular Mobility Unit. Heidi’s current task is “remove aft solar array blanket box restraints”.

Judging by the loud clanging noises, followed by something falling off, Heidi’s task involves bashing something until it falls off.

No-one else seems bothered. I assume it’s OK to bash your space station until bits fall off.

You can’t quite see him, but up on the left is Joe Tanner. This is his sixth Extra-Vehicular Activity — oh, “spacewalk”, dammit! — so he gets to “mate the T5 to the J5” on the P4 truss segment.

That’s is, Joe plugs in a data cable.

Continue reading “Why the US space program is shite”

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Pricing is just Perception, Lesson 1

Consider the Sony SVRHD700 Digital Video Recorder. This fine-looking piece of kit has dual high-definition digital TV tuners, HDMI output and a 160GB hard drive to store up to 23 hours of HD video. The even finer Sony SVRHD900 is identical — except for a 250GB hard drive, storing 36 hours.

Now a 250GB hard drive costs just $30 more than a 160GB. But by adding $30 of hardware, Sony can charge an extra $200 for the whole machine — $1499 compared with $1299.

Why? Because you get 56% more storage, and 20% more model number, but pay only 15% more. Bargain!

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More Steve Irwin jokes

A clown in life, Steve Irwin has inspired more jokes since his death — not just that first one I posted last week…

[Update 23 January 2008: Since Steve Irwin jokes are very popular on this website, you might also want to start posting Heath Ledger death jokes. Just as mindlessly tacky.]

  • Steve wouldn’t have died if he were wearing sunscreen, it would have protected him from harmful rays.
  • Q: Why is Trudie Styler like Steve Irwin? A: Both have been penetrated by Sting.
  • Steve Irwin asked for a certain song to be played at his funeral: Don’t Stand So Close to Me by Sting. (Alternatively, Dead Heart by Midnight Oil, and selections from Queen‘s Sheer Heart Attack.)
  • Q: What do Steve Irwin and Indiana Jones have in common? A: They both have a hol(e)y chest.

And if I hear any more, I’ll post them here as comments.

Oddly enough, another “Australian icon” died last week: legendary racing car driver Peter Brock wrapped himself around a tree. And yet he hasn’t spawned a series of jokes. Why is that, I wonder?

Scroll down for more Steve Irwin Jokes in the comments.

[Update 19 April 2009: I’m closing comments on this post. The few comments which have been posted in recent months are mostly from people who can’t seem to see beyond an overly-simplistic “He’s a hero” or “You’re lame”. Very few of them can even spell properly. And none are adding anything positive to the discussion. Time to move on.]