Cheap fake tan and fat thighs? Snooki!

“There needs to be a special word for the combination of a cheap fake tan and fat thighs.”

I expressed that view on Twitter early this evening. Thanks to @SophieAG I now know there’s already such a word: Snooki.

This class act’s name is Nicole Polizzi (pictured), though she goes by the nickname “Snooki” and “stars” in an MTV reality TV program called Jersey Shore.

Watching the trailer tells you everything you need to know.

According to The Hollywood Gossip:

She fake-tans and acts like a bit of a skank. Then again that sums up the whole cast, so what are you really gonna do. That’s just what she does…

Nicole has made headlines already … for having brown skin. Like for real brown. Not tanned, like she’s been rolling in the mud or something. Yech.

Apparently Snooki is such a skank that advertisers have pulled out of the series.

Snooki’s response?

“I just have one thing to say to Domino’s, Dell, UNICO and all the other haters out there: Fuck you! If you don’t want to watch, then don’t watch.”

Snooki added: “Just shut the hell up! I’m serious… Fuck you!”

UNICO, the Italian-American organisation that claims the show perpetuates negative stereotypes, plans to keep pressuring sponsors to boycott the show.

“She is not an embarrassment to Italian Americans. She is actually an embarrassment to the entire human race!!!!” UNICO said of Snooki in a statement.

Apparently Snooki’s idea of the ideal man is the Guido stereotype.

Given the monumental appropriateness of naming an entire sub-class of humanity after this woman — and I do mean sub-class — other suggestion faded in comparison.

That said, I should give a hat-tip to those who took the time to suggest alternative words.

Thank you, all,but Snooki really does win out here I think.

An awful lot of these are food references. Can anyone explain that?

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4 comments

  1. xutraa’s avatar

    The food context I went for stems from the ‘fake tan’ orange you see on some girls who go a little overboard, leaving them with a beautiful tandoori tan. Bright orange sauce, poured onto meat.

    Ugh, I feel a bit disgusted with myself for that. There’s a direct link in my mind, and I’m assuming others as well, between women who we find unattractive/unpalatable into bits of meat and food. According to the suggestions above, it’s ‘bad’ food too. A bad dish.

  2. Alex Willemyns’s avatar

    The food theme is obviously linked to the part about the fat thighs. Just find some food that’s fatty and orange, and you have your clever metaphor.

  3. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    @xutraa: Oh dear. Continue down that path and you very quickly arrive at uncovered meat. Yet an attractive woman was called a “dish”. So sexy we could just eat her up. Erk.

  4. Charlie’s avatar

    I don’t think she tans, that’s her actual skin tone, SHE’S NOT EVEN ITALIAN-AMERICAN, she was ADOPTED by some italian family….she’s actually Chilean,
    I find this girl disgusting, tacky and I don’t even know why is she famous. Slutty girls are everywhere.

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