The shoe in the photograph is the Dunlop Volley Classic tennis shoe. A black one. If you’ve met me in the flesh, you may have noticed that it’s my default footwear. Comfortable. Practical. Cheap.
Thing is, the Volley website, which I’ll talk about shortly, exhibits everything but those attributes. Fail.
I don’t play tennis, or any sport for that matter. The thing about the Volley Classic, though, is that its rubber sole offers a firm grip on all sorts of surfaces. Even in the wet. Indeed, I’m told that people in certain SEKRIT professions like them because they’re perfect for scurrying across rooftops on dark, rainy nights.
And they’re black.
If you use a black felt-tip marker, you can colour in that white flash at the rear of the shoe so it’s completely black, and at night you’re totally invisible just like a ninja.
From the ankles down.
The reason I’m telling you all this is because this morning I bought a replacement pair of these truly awesome shoes. I’m sick of my chiropractor giving me grief about the holes in my current pair. Yesterday my usual supplier was out of stock, at least in size 11. But just now I bought new shoes — before 9am on a Sunday — without even getting out of bed.
It’s a lesson in the importance of making sure your website is properly indexed on Google, and that you concentrate on what really helps make a sale.
The thing is, these are simple lessons which need to be repeated over and over again — because so many “web designers” just don’t get it.
I typed “black dunlop volley sydney” into Google. I clicked on the first link in the search results because it looked Australian. It was a page at a shopping aggregator site. It had a photo of the shoe and I went “Yes, that’s what I want to buy.” It linked to a shop which looked trustworthy because they listed their physical address and had clear policies. The price was cheaper than my usual supplier, so I bought a pair right then.
Elapsed time: 45 seconds.
Actually, it was longer than that, because I got out of bed to tell ’Pong how awesome the Internet was and he told me to fuck off because he was running late for his video shoot but that’s not the point. This is my story and the truth is irrelevant.
The point is that I relied totally on Google to send me somewhere useful. And because Google delivered, I didn’t spend a single second looking any further.
The point is also that I trusted The Tennis Shop not because their website has fancy graphics — it doesn’t — but because they told me who they were and how they do business.
Every dollar spent on making sure those basics are right helps sell product.
Every dollar spent on graphics, animations and other distractions is a dollar wasted. Indeed, if the fancy crap slows down the process of me being able to buy something, you’re actually spending money to reduce your sales.
And with this in mind, something needs to be said…
Dunlop? Your website for Volleys is fucked. Please take your agency out the back, shoot them all twice in the head, and dump them in a river.
I wanted to link directly to a page explaining the Volley Classic. You know, show the folks a few pictures, tell ’em a bit of history. Instead, there’s some tiny little drop-down menu where I select “shoes”, and then you piss me around with some lame-arsed Flash menu where I have to pick my “environment” (huh?) and leg type (double huh?) without you even telling me the name of the shoes!
And how the fuck am I meant to link to anything when everything has one URL,
http://www.volleys.com.au/flash/index.html? What use is that?
And, to top it off, you fucking well play country music at me at 9.30 on a Sunday morning! Did I fucking well ask for country music? I want to look at your shoes!
What sort of morons are you? Are you deliberately trying to drive me away from your website? Because that’s what you achieved! I will never be back.