Once again, my Twitter stream reveals much of interest. This week’s highlights:
- No matter how many times I say “Wynyard is a railway station” it still looks like a poorly-maintained pub urinal. It’s the colour.
- If you have a beard, you’re allowed to be fat and incoherent.
- “I hate it when you’re pulling off a buttoned shirt and the buttons get caught on ur nostrils.” Agreed.
- I really should write more serious essays or news stories soon lest people think I’m only about odd drinking games and ranting on camera.
- Hotel Cremorne: Friday. Semi-bearded ad agency geekbois and Lesser Office Wendys with overly-tall heels, overly-tight skirts, nasty accents.
- The Duke Hotel in Enmore has barred me from drinking any Wirra Wirra wines from McLaren Vale until I try every other decent red on their new wine list.
- Once I’m appointed Tsar, all jazz musicians will go to Nauru concentration camps, paid for by a levy on jazz enthusiasts.
- “Apple has 3 basic moves”? No, just ONE. “We’re sooooo fuckin’ cool, iz pretty, buy our stuffz kthxbai.” [Chorus: “Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Much Loves.”]
- “Dear Fat Bloke, nothing says ‘yobbo slav’ more than a pair of (fake) Bvlgari sunglasses kthxbye.”
- “Dear Bus Driver, if having to change a $50 is your day’s worst then you and Mr 9mm need to chat.”
- I now understand why the law prevents me from bringing firearms to conferences.
- Platypuses don’t actually have antlers.
And at that point Twitter tells me it’s over-capacity, which is probably a good thing.
[Credit: Cartoon Twitter-bird courtesy of Hugh MacLeod. Like all of Hugh’s cartoons published online, it’s free to use.]
6 Replies to “My life according to Twitter”
Platypuses donâ€™t actually have antlers.
I may have pics that prove otherwise… 😉
@Snarky Platypus: Well there are photos showing the world my antlers too!
roll on e-consults (health setting related); this should trigger a prescription review 🙂
You can’t possibly be blamed for having a penchant for McLaren Vale reds. Though as a native to Adelaide’s southern beaches, I am of course biased.
There is some good jazz out there, you know. Some experimatal stuff is awesome. Try googling German group Orbital Monks Convention (if only for the name!). Of course, a lot of good jazz artists get by because they sneakily don’t ever let on that they are jazz artists (Rickie Lee Jones springs to mind, as does Directions in Groove).
@Gwynfor: I strongly suggest you start preparing for the tropical climes and the lingering scent of guano.
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