While my Predictions for 2008 were mostly full of FAIL, there is one bonus. I did correctly predict Barack Obama as the next US President. Which means I won a bet!
If he wins, I will spank you with a feather duster and call you blinky all night long while rubbing your body with Four Seasons jam and olive oil. We must be playing Madonna’s Papa Don’t Preach in the background.
You’ll have to bring the feather duster, Patty, but the olive oil is a’warming…
Ask and it shall be done! Who is the ultimate pop princess?
In alphabetical order of first name, we have 9 nominees. As usual, if you disagree with the shortlist you can take it up in the comments.
- Amy Winehouse: “For the kids who don’t like ‘mainstream’ pop,” says the Snarky Platypus. “Never mind the fact Amy is probably more mainstream than Dannii Minogue.” I trust his judgement in these things.
- Anthony Callea: OK, OK, he’s fading fast. But it gives me a chance to make a pathetically gratuitous gay reference and waste 15 minutes looking at his photos. It was either him or Elton John, and there’s only so much my stomach can take.
- BjÃ¶rk: Yes, her music’s bizarre, but she knows how to deal with intrusive journalists.
- Britney Spears: Where to begin? She’s got it all! And it’d be polite to say something nice about her at the moment, she’s had a rough week.
- Dannii Minogue (not pictured): Since she did so well in our poll for Governor-General, she must be included. I didn’t bother with her photo, though. Just look at Kylie, squint and grimace.
- Kylie Minogue: Neighbours and Stock Aitken Waterman to… superstardom. Not even cancer can stop her! She even inspired our new national anthem.
- Madonna: I suppose there’s some life still left in the old hag.
- Melissa Tkautz:
“She is kinda obscure to non-Australians / trash pop culture junkies / E-Street watchers,” warns the Snarky Platypus. “She’s kinda obscure to non-Australians,” warns the Snarky Platypus. “Actually, obscure to most people, except for trash pop culture junkies & E-Street watchers” However this gives us a chance to introduce Melissa to a wider audience. Read my lips! [Beware, there is rap. Sort of.]
- Olivia Newton-John: Another oldie, but she’s the closing act for Mardi Gras this year so presumably someone thinks she’s worth it.
- Someone else? Discuss!
As usual, go to the website to vote — scroll down to find the poll on the left-hand side.
Previous results: Most people reckon Australian of the Year is worth keeping, but only if they choose more relevant people. We shall return to this subject in December…