Weekly Poll: Who’s the ultimate pop princess?

Composite photo of the nominees

Ask and it shall be done! Who is the ultimate pop princess?

In alphabetical order of first name, we have 9 nominees. As usual, if you disagree with the shortlist you can take it up in the comments.

  1. Amy Winehouse: “For the kids who don’t like ‘mainstream’ pop,” says the Snarky Platypus. “Never mind the fact Amy is probably more mainstream than Dannii Minogue.” I trust his judgement in these things.
  2. Anthony Callea: OK, OK, he’s fading fast. But it gives me a chance to make a pathetically gratuitous gay reference and waste 15 minutes looking at his photos. It was either him or Elton John, and there’s only so much my stomach can take.
  3. Björk: Yes, her music’s bizarre, but she knows how to deal with intrusive journalists.
  4. Britney Spears: Where to begin? She’s got it all! And it’d be polite to say something nice about her at the moment, she’s had a rough week.
  5. Dannii Minogue (not pictured): Since she did so well in our poll for Governor-General, she must be included. I didn’t bother with her photo, though. Just look at Kylie, squint and grimace.
  6. Kylie Minogue: Neighbours and Stock Aitken Waterman to… superstardom. Not even cancer can stop her! She even inspired our new national anthem.
  7. Madonna: I suppose there’s some life still left in the old hag.
  8. Melissa Tkautz: “She is kinda obscure to non-Australians / trash pop culture junkies / E-Street watchers,” warns the Snarky Platypus. “She’s kinda obscure to non-Australians,” warns the Snarky Platypus. “Actually, obscure to most people, except for trash pop culture junkies & E-Street watchers” However this gives us a chance to introduce Melissa to a wider audience. Read my lips! [Beware, there is rap. Sort of.]
  9. Olivia Newton-John: Another oldie, but she’s the closing act for Mardi Gras this year so presumably someone thinks she’s worth it.
  10. Someone else? Discuss!

As usual, go to the website to vote — scroll down to find the poll on the left-hand side.

Previous results: Most people reckon Australian of the Year is worth keeping, but only if they choose more relevant people. We shall return to this subject in December…

Who is the ultimate pop princess?

  • Amy Winehouse (2%, 2 Votes)
  • Anthony Callea (11%, 10 Votes)
  • Björk (3%, 3 Votes)
  • Britney Spears (2%, 2 Votes)
  • Dannii Minogue (6%, 5 Votes)
  • Kylie Minogue (26%, 23 Votes)
  • Madonna (9%, 8 Votes)
  • Melissa Tkautz (33%, 30 Votes)
  • Olivia Newton-John (4%, 4 Votes)
  • Someone else (discuss) (3%, 3 Votes)

Total Voters: 90

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28 comments

  1. 'Pong’s avatar

    Jessica Simpson, Nikki Webster and Michael Jackson should be disappointed that they are not in the short list.

  2. Crispin’s avatar

    I would vote Madonna – for the sole reason of her staying power… and also for being the top of the pile repeatedly.

    But then, she is actually the Queen of Pop, not merely a Princess.

    Of this lot, the Princess is Kylie.

  3. Nick Hodge’s avatar

    I doth protest. Madonna isn’t a female.

  4. Snarky Platypus’s avatar

    I must give some thought to this one, but you have to edit my comment about Melissa because it actually makes no sense! A comment that makes more sense is “she’s kinda obscure to non-Australians. Actually, obscure to most people, except for trash pop culture junkies & E-Street watchers”.

    Then again, she was quite big for that brief moment in 1991-92. How well do people remember the early 90s?

  5. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    @’Pong: Yeah, we should maybe extend this into a major Skank Media poll at some point. Nikki will be distraught!

    @Crispin: So why haven’t you actually voted?

    @Nick Hodge: Well neither is Björk! She is, as the Sydney Morning Herald explained, a space pixie whose voice has been compared to “an ice-pick through concrete”.

    @Snarky Platypus: Fixed. And I remember the early 1990s. I helped create it!

    Generally: How come there are fewer votes than commenters? Lazy sods.

  6. Eric TF Bat’s avatar

    Oh come on — Dame Edna again! Who are those other try-hards?

    Can you ever ask a question to which the answer isn’t Dame Edna?

  7. jason’s avatar

    LOL yes I’d say Dame Edna overall. But I chose Madonna. I don’t know why, since sometimes I find her completely obnoxious. But over all she represents something, and actually has something to say in interviews. Saving the world from the Catholics probably wasn’t as difficult as she made it out to be. Anyone can masturbate with a crucifix. If she takes on Islam, then I’d be infinitely impressed. (By ‘takes on’, I just mean de-sensitizes, by which I mean masturbation.)

  8. carra’s avatar

    The only amusing thing about this is that 10 people have wasted their time visiting your pathetic blog with an F grade attempt at humour.

  9. Rhys’s avatar

    It’s a hard’en, the poll that is (theres some F grade for ya)
    Now I feel dirty by owning multiple Winehouse CD’s

  10. Emma’s avatar

    @Crispin: I already voted for Madonna, but I would have been swayed by your argument that technically she is now the Queen of pop.D
    Do we need another poll to reflect the older dames of pop, in which case, I vote for Bowie.
    @carra: wasting time is an important anti-stress mechanism in todays office environment, don’t knock it until you’ve tried….hang on…didn’t you just….oh… I shall say nothing.

  11. jason’s avatar

    I’m FURIOUS that Kylie Minogue is winning. She is the most vaporous organism to ever crawl across the face of the earth. I’ve met deep water crustaceans that had better things to converse about other than their new range of underwear and bed linen.

  12. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    @carra: Well, I’ve responded to you with a whole post about recreational outrage. I figure you’re just a drive-by flamer though. [yawn]

    @Eric TF Bat: Having looked back thru the Polls Archive, I concur.

    @jason: It’s a brave man who puts “Islam” and “masturbation” in the same sentence. I look forward to how this now skews Google hits on this website. (And I think I’ve edited your first comment so it says what you meant, yeah?)

    Yes, Kylie currently in the lead, with Madonna, Olivia Newton-John and Anthony Callea in equal second place.

    Generally: All comments appreciated. If I didn’t mention you by name it’s because I had nothing to add.

  13. Sweet Sister Morphine’s avatar

    @ Jason: I thought that that was one of the defining criteria for being a pop princess.

  14. Snarky Platypus’s avatar

    Of course, I voted for Melissa Tkautz. How can you go past “Read My Lips”? It has:

    • “Hands off my detonator” as a lyric.
    • Melissa’s “rap” bit. It’s kind of like Debbie Harry’s rap on “Rapture”, but a whole lot more dubious (and the rap in “Rapture” is dubious enough)
    • The “do it do it do it” bridge. I like the intonation of this part — it’s just so… half-arsed (like most of the song really).
    • 90s colour scheme in the video
    • With dodgy 90s dancing. Yes, that is Simon Baker in the video. He was porking Melissa at the time.

    Melissa has other worthy characteristics of a pop princess — too much involvement in soaps, a brief and intense moment of popularity which can never be regained and passably good looks that vanished at the sight of the wrong end of 30 (I see she’s a bit too botoxed now).

    As for the others, well I think Kylie is a “pop artiste” now (judging by the pretensions of her last album) and Amy Winehouse and Britney are more like “pop rehab junkies” as opposed to princesses. Madonna is more the “queen mother” of pop (drop the “urban” song please). I’m sure Anthony Callea wants to be the princess of pop, but unfortunately logistics get in the way.

  15. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Current voting:

    artist votes %
    Amy Winehouse 0 0
    Anthony Callea 4 15%
    Björk 1 4%
    Britney Spears 1 4%
    Dannii Minogue 0 0%
    Kylie Minogue 8 30%
    Melissa Tkautz 4 15%
    Olivia Newton-John 4 15%
    someone else 2 7%

    So how come Kylie Minogue is currently well in the lead, but zero votes for Dannii — while Dannii did so well in the poll for Governor-General? Riddle me that!

  16. Snarky Platypus’s avatar

    Clearly we think Dannii is worthier of greater things than mere “pop princess”.

  17. eden.’s avatar

    05 February 2008 at 6:29 pm

    Snarky Platypus – Anthony Callea is a singer and a great performer on his tours, he’s definately no princess, you oviously havent been to any of his concerts to not know this.

    Why isn’t Darren Hayes on the the list, who is clearly way over the top in his performance or Jake Shears, Elton John, George Michael, Jamiroquai, Mika, ……………..

  18. Snarky Platypus’s avatar

    eden: Given the poll question, I think there’s a good reason why all those males are not in the poll. Stilgherrian was being somewhat facetious when nominating Anthony Callea. However yes, I do not rate him highly on this list. He is a solid performer, but not a particularly noteworthy pop star. And he hasn’t done anything close to the spectacle that is “Read My Lips”

  19. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    @eden: What the Platypus said.

    @Snarky Platypus: Anthony Callea may not have done anything quite like Read My Lips, but he did do a version of Young Boys Are My Weakness with Kate Ceberano at the ARIA Awards after-party the other year. Will the good Catholic boy become a Scientologist?

  20. Snarky Platypus’s avatar

    The Melissa has made a late surge, overtaking the Callea. There is some natural justice in this world after all.

  21. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Current voting:

    artist votes %
    Amy Winehouse 1 2%
    Anthony Callea 9 16%
    Björk 3 5%
    Britney Spears 2 3%
    Dannii Minogue 2 3%
    Kylie Minogue 17 29%
    Melissa Tkautz 13 22%
    Olivia Newton-John 4 7%
    someone else 2 3%

    This surge in votes for Melissa is most heartening.

    I should probably wrap this up soon and think of something else.

  22. Stilgherrian’s avatar

    Melissa is now getting more votes than Kylie Minogue?

    Gee, I wonder if it’s anything to do with news that Melissa is about to star in a new SBS comedy The Couriers:

    There was a time when acting jobs were so thin on the ground Melissa Tkautz resorted to spruiking erectile dysfunction spray. But a new television role could make her a household name again, which she hasn’t been since she starred in 1990s soap E Street and recorded two hit singles…

    The Couriers is guaranteed to help raise the profile of the tiny blonde, who admits the past few years have had “lots of low points”.

    What also seems “guaranteed” to lift Melissa’s profile is a fairly obvious series of votes on this poll… should I do a bit of tracking?

    Current voting:

    artist votes %
    Amy Winehouse 2 3%
    Anthony Callea 9 12%
    Björk 3 4%
    Britney Spears 2 3%
    Dannii Minogue 3 4%
    Kylie Minogue 20 26%
    Madonna 7 9%
    Melissa Tkautz 25 32%
    Olivia Newton-John 4 5%
    someone else 2 3%

    Hat-tip to the Snarky Platypus for privately informing me of this vital Melissa news.

  23. blackcatbondi’s avatar

    What does this show to all fans of pop

    “guys we have to give credit to any artist who is able to continue release any type of music or film a tv show-
    MElissa is a huge talent and she wouldnt of made it before if she wasnt talented.

    she has had no botox get over your self she has so much time for her fans and her new music rocks

    go write about some one who doesnt care about there fans like madonna or kylie or britney.

    Think about who will support you the wayh yhou do to them

    x love ur work but cheer melissa up not bring her down, she brought much joy then and now.

    : ) peace

    i thonk there is a war already going on in iraq, leave that negative crap to them.

    love x black cat

  24. Snarky Platypus’s avatar

    blackcatbondi, please relay this message to the Melissa.

    Get a somewhat coherent street team. It might help your profile a little bit.

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