Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

June 17th, 2008

I tell you what, if PubCamp tomorrow arvo doesn’t involve both beer and drag queens I will feel sorely cheated and respond appropriately.

via Twitter Web Client

The promo man from Boags brewery is at Cremorne Hotel explaining the virtues of his product now on tap. I will report further.

via Twitter Web Client

Don’t people drink on the North Shore? I can’t imagine why not, it’s driving me to alcoholism.

via Cloudhopper

@mpesce I bow to your superior knowledge of our enshelled and slime-enabled friends.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to mpesce

@Fifikins Snails are hermaphrodites. No need to sex them, they’re happy as… snails.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Fifikins

@Maab That’s OK, I was just curious. If you like, grab a drink and wander behind me. Marvel at the wonder of importing a 1.5GB Outlook file.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Maab

I WANT TO KILL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM WITH MY BARE TEETH.

via Twitter Web Client

It gets better. Product launch downstairs. Now folks with champagne in hand being led past me, “Here is Stil, setting up our new computers.”

via Twitter Web Client

There, that’s about as polite as I’ll fuckin’ get until I get at least one of these users settled into a new computer tonight.

via Twitter Web Client

@john_dalton And hello to you in Ireland. What did you do to deserve my Twitterstream? ;)

via Twitter Web Client in reply to john_dalton

@alphajuliet Welcome to you too, sir. Please expect turbulence over the coming days as various toxic vapours are expunged.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to alphajuliet

@Maab Welcome to my Twitterworld. How did I blip up on your radar, may I ask?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Maab

I really wish this client wasn’t showing one of their clients thru the office right now because I really need to use strong language NOW.

via Twitter Web Client

Just noticed that iiNet’s standard “Here’s the info on your new business broadband plan” email ends: “Happy downloading!”

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@Nickhodge Why is the Luftwaffe bombing a British TV crew? Don’t they know the war is over? We’re all European now…

via Twitter Web Client in reply to NickHodgeMSFT

At least 60 mins of file copying and 30 mins of configuration remain.

via Twitter Web Client

@SnarkyPlatypus Where does one obtain cocktails on the North Shore on a Tuesday evening? Extremely large cocktails…

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

[smirks] Sweet old part-timer pops in, “Is this our new printer?” “Yes,” I say, “scanner, copier, the works!” “Fuck a duck!” she says.

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No, cleaner, I don’t care if you are a photographer who uses large-format film. I just want to finish my stuff and go. Do YOUR stuff and go.

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@BrendanB Please do not give suggestions to The Universe, it can be perverse… ;)

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The word “wizard” in “Files & Settings Transfer Wizard” is meant to imply “smart” or “clever”, not “tricky and invisible”. Kthxbye.

via Twitter Web Client

@garthk I don’t know the name of that radio, can only describe its effects. I shall consult more authoritative sources. (Alt answer: “Jim”.)

via Twitter Web Client in reply to garthk

Burnt off enough 3G for now. Back to swapping to the old equipment and putting the world back together. [dark]

via Twitter Web Client

Barely maintaining downlink of 6 to 7kb/sec, can’t get PAP authentication ‘cos carrier doesn’t sync long enough. Kill them. Kill them all.

via Twitter Web Client

@Nickhodge I assume Mosman exchange… The new Linksys AM300 can barely maintain line sync. Oddly enough, the crappy D-Link worked fine.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to NickHodgeMSFT

Dear Telstra, a downstream noise margin of 9dB is what a strong-tongued Anglo-Saxon might call “bothersomely inadequate to the task”.

via Twitter Web Client

DSL is one of the shittiest technologies on the planet, and making it go faster is hell-in-handbasket time.

via Twitter Web Client

Neutral Bay isn’t. It’s completely biased. Cremorne is.

via Cloudhopper

Hey you know the really big secret about Firefox 3? It’s a WEB BROWSER! Wow.

via Cloudhopper

@joypog I haven’t even looked at FriendFeed. To me the whole idea of dumping carefully-separate feeds into one sewer is backwards.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to joypog

Mobile. Latitude decreasing (slowly). Tolerance (maybe) increasing. Cremorne Hotel is not a welcoming place, and has slow, ignorant staff.

via Twitter Web Client

@jeffsonstein Ants have fists? Does this observation relate to anything I’ve said? Should I avert my eyes?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to jeffsonstein

@monnie Hello poor person from my hometown. What’s your bodycount for the day. Oh, oops, we’re not meant to say, are we… How’s the wine?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to monnie

@AlanzEyes Yeah the more I think about it, doing what Paul Keating called “flipping the switch to vaudeville” may work. Dear clients, FOAD.

via Twitter Web Client

I try really, really hard (but still fail) to read “FF” as “FriendFeed” and not something involving fists. I really do try.

via Twitter Web Client

@SnarkyPlatypus I know you’re playing socially acceptable team sports right now, but your Tweet Cloud is still worrying. http://is.gd/caH ;)

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@andrewbarnett Yeah, I guess I do try to make even conversation with friends of SOME value to random listeners. Even if I want to kill them.

via Twitter Web Client

@limburger2001 The N80 is the in-pocket invisible modem. The MacBook Pro is the device of internettage. Can’t stand farty little keyboards.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to limburger2001

Why is it that whenever I’m least serious and rant about everything from 80s pop to water buffalos, and swear lots, I get more followers?

via Twitter Web Client

@nwjerseyliz You are even on the wronger side of the Harbour I reckon. P.S. No Thai burritos, they use water buffalos and elephants instead.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to nwjerseyliz

@wolfcat Using Twitterific on OS X Leopard, thence Bluetooth’d to Nokia N80 on a Vodafone 3G plan. [Insert Internet here.]

via Twitter Web Client in reply to wolfcat

Hmmm… It’s 2200 and I’m still on the wrong side of the Harbour. This does not bode well. For me, or for them.

via Twitter Web Client

@livnenna If you find trams that smell of more complex food acids, please warn the authorities immediately.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to livkenney

Warning to the world. My calculations show that with my spare batteries I can tweet from the pub for at least 3.5 hours. WiFi for 7 hours.

via Twitter Web Client

@limburger2001 There was a Chinese t-shirt maker once selling shirts reading “gullible tourist”, to mark the punters in the markets. ;)

via Twitter Web Client in reply to limburger2001

@ApostrophePong See, you’re having the same problem with Yahoo!’s insane “re-authentication” process. I predict they’ll get flak over this!

via Twitter Web Client in reply to ApostrophePong

@AlanzEyes Welcome to my Twitterworld, it’s all downhill from here.

via Twitter Web Client

@wolfcat Any question about me which has “why” in it is bound to end up complicating matters needlessly. Just accept. Lie back and accept.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to wolfcat

@SilkCharm Well if YOU worked for the AFR and had to write about businesspeople all the time, it’d drive you to drink too.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SilkCharm

Dear Google, translating “Do not masturbate the goldfish” into Japanese then back should NOT yield “Goldfish masturbate” kthxbye. Try it!

via Twitter Web Client

@SilkCharm Sorry I didn’t make your presentation tonight, but it’s been a complicated week. Besides, journalists drink.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SilkCharm

自慰行為の金魚はありません。

via Twitter Web Client

Retweet @limburger2001: ” Japanese, its just a fad, just like hypercolour t-shirts and pogo sticks.” Agreed.

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The trivia host just said the first officially-released biographical film was an octopus in 1904. I think he’s mad. Quite mad.

via Twitter Web Client

@Chisa I dunno, it was in an email I got. Teh Googles says: “A special site for mobile phones. Mobile registration address.”

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Chisa

@limburger2001 The stubble-check pics should’ve started last week. :/ I guess I COULD start again, but… I’ll let people decide tomorrow…

via Twitter Web Client in reply to limburger2001

@limburger2001 It’s called Japanese. Apparently it’s quite fashionable in some quarters. I’m guessing your client lacks Unicode support? ;)

via Twitter Web Client in reply to limburger2001

は携帯電話専用のサイトです。携帯アドレスでの登録をお願いいたします。

via Twitter Web Client

I’m resisting the temptation to use Photo Booth to take self-pics in a pub. With or without a week’s worth of stubble, it’s still weird.

via Twitter Web Client

@SnarkyPlatypus Challenge: If you learn the dance moves to Bananarama’s “Venus”, I’ll… um… help you.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Important Note #3: I am tempted to stay unshaven. After a week it’s… developing nicely. If I had a gun, I’d look more the part though.

via Twitter Web Client

Important Note #2: Being here tonight, and re-reading last night’s tweets, gives me thoughts about how Stilgherrian Live might evolve.

via Twitter Web Client

Important note #1: New Twitterfollowers, I do not normally rant about 70s and 80s pop music. At least not with quite this much bitterness.

via Twitter Web Client

My website says that I was perhaps doing a Stilgherrian Live Alpha in 26 mins. A shame I don’t *quite* have the bandwidth.

via Twitter Web Client

@SnarkyPlatypus Are you somehow programming the music here? Boney M Megamix!

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@Maab The sign out the front does include “hotel”… there’s a TV with harness racing, another with cricket… it PURPORTS to be a pub…

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Maab

Sound system currently playing Sherbet’s “Howzat”. My. Life. Is. Complete.

via Twitter Web Client

@Maab No, no Stubbies in sight. And the pokie machines look like they’ve been DUSTED recently. (And not for fingerprints, either.)

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Maab

@SnarkyPlatypus I think it’s the Trivia Magic format, which means I know the questions for tomorrow night at the Marly. ;)

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Even better. The guys in the next booth are from an ad agency and they’re drinking Peroni. This. Is. Such. A. Fabulous. Place.

via Twitter Web Client

@SnarkyPlatypus The idea of YOU doing “quality” checks is… exquisite. I understand I’ll be vetting for decorum next.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Oh good, I have the excellent good fortune to have been chosen as a spam source address. The blowback will improve my mood no end thank you.

via Twitter Web Client

@Alegrya “Care to suggest who of the speakers you’d like most to see in drag?” Oooh @trib obviously, and anyone with a beard.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Alegrya

Inbound tweets too fast to respond individually. The trivia night host just said the answer to Q4 was that Richard Roxborough was a lesbian.

via Twitter Web Client

@Mediamum “Everything else on that list” was “beer”. LOL. Not much sortage needed. But no I don’t frock up (and haven’t shaved in a week).

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Mediamum

@mpesce Yes, “Quiet Desperation” should indeed be capitalised thusly. And it’s all in capitals here, let me tell you.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to mpesce

@kcarruthers I managed to sneak onto the north shore using a cunning disguise… I wore matching socks.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to kcarruthers

Dear Fat Bloke, nothing says “yobbo slav” more than a pair of (fake) Bvlgari sunglasses kthxbye.

via Cloudhopper

CityRail, just got what your problem is. Need more o’them train things, and people. Just like for the last decade. Can manage?

via Cloudhopper

OK, out of the office and on the road to Mosman. Sarcasm may emerge en route.

via Twitter Web Client

@noony Welcome to my Twitterworld. I hope you find… something. ;) I like “programmador” though, very cool.

via Twitter Web Client

Feral Goldfish quote of the day. http://is.gd/zN3 And I have just BEGUN to get snarky…

via Twitter Web Client

@wolfcat Nah, I stopped following @richard_dawkins when it became clear it wasn’t Richard Dawkins. I can read Dawkins’ material for myself.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to wolfcat

@BBCWorld “Riches that lured coup plotters to Equatorial Guinea”? WTF? Verb, please! The BBC should verbs. http://is.gd/zM9

via Twitter Web Client in reply to BBCWorld

@sterlizzi Well, however you found me, welcome. I’ll try not to be as bitter as I was last night… unless that’s your thing. ;)

via Twitter Web Client in reply to sterlizzi

Retweeting @gapingvoid: “Taking a wee break.” Twitter reaches its ultimate low: bodily functions. ;) Stay tuned for my sphincter alerts…

via Twitter Web Client

@SnarkyPlatypus NSW Libs “attack” NSW Labor? Like being attacked by a cardigan. Tho I did read “meh govt” as “meth govt”, very different.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@garthk See, in your feral lust for the MUST-HAVE NEW BROWSER you’ve screwed your computer. You could’ve just USED IT PRODUCTIVELY instead.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to garthk

Wed plan: Morning at the Mosman client, sorting loose ends from last night. 1430+ BarCamp Sydney. http://is.gd/za1

via Twitter Web Client

@sterlizzi And to you in the Valley. Somehow overnight I hit 400 followers., only some of whom are spammers. How did I blip into your world?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to sterlizzi

@sagenet Morning, and welcome to my Twitterworld from here in SYD to you in NYC. Hope you’re having a better one.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to sagenet

Microsoft abandons Internet Explorer 8 dev, focuses on Firefox. Ballmer says FF3 will replace IE7 in Vista SP2. http://tinyurl.com/57kyjx

via Twitter Web Client

Emerges, having hardly slept for some reason. And now sleep beckons. Almost 0700. This will not work.

via Twitter Web Client

Home. Dead. Resurrection will happen sooner than 3 days though, perforce. Does that make me 3x better than jesus? He only had 12 followers.

via Twitter Web Client

@TimNoonan Four HOURS of cop talk! Man, that would’ve been a treat!

via Twitter Web Client in reply to TimNoonan

@AlanzEyes I would never be humourous about serious topics, that would be inappropriate. http://is.gd/zi2 Search for “Spice Girls”.

via Twitter Web Client

Old Prostitutes Assoc poster: For the best sex, see a professional.

via Twitter Web Client

@Maab Did a lot of work on sex industry when at ABC. Being paid to leave after is a good explanation.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Maab

Overheard: They’re fuckin callin the cops on me for being fucking rude, how fucked is that. They can get fucked.

via Twitter Web Client

Telstra’s new Hiptop Slide has to be the ugliest device to ever hit the Internet. No threat to iPhone sales there.

via Cloudhopper

Just confirming, while I’m in the cab, yes I will be at PubCamp Sydney tomorrow.

via Cloudhopper

@SilkCharm @Alex_Manchester Same question: How can prostitutes make money when others give it away for free. Answer: Offer a better service.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SilkCharm