Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

October 18th, 2008

Sat plan (yes, I know it’s 1440 already): Cup of tea; 1530 gym & gin & stu@SnarkyPlatypusPlatypus; world domination; more tea before bed.

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@tdm911 Sorry, I stand corrected. OF COURSE I meant to say “more gooderer”. That’s the most worstest mistake I’ve maid all day.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to tdm911

@Nickhodge “All that stupid shit”? What sort of stupid burdens would you like lifted from your shoulders, my son?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to NickHodgeMSFT

@Nickhodge @trib I think the world would run a lot more smoothly if I were in charge. Grammar would also be more good.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to NickHodgeMSFT

RT @stilgherrian: Lesbian-mothered half-siblings risk incest at Adelaide sperm-recipient picnic. http://is.gd/4hCr It deserves a second run!

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RT @matthewlandauer: Obama is from Krypton and his middle name is Steve: http://tinyurl.com/5obf4q Awesome fun!

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@limburger2001 We’ll probably have the OLPC XOs for about a week, or until @piawaugh needs them for her nefarious porpoises.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to limburger2001

@limburger2001 OLPC machines come in different forms, But I suspect the power supply is an external thing, i.e. you plug in the hand crank.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to limburger2001

@aDB That’s cool, I’m sure that you becoming more familiar with the XO fits nicely with @piawaugh’s evil plans.

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And I have a whole bunch of new followers who I haven’t even looked at yet. Sorry, guys, my brain has been fried this week.

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Looking for food. Instant tom yum noodles, cat food and riesling. Another gourmet meal in Enmore!

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@aDB: Your kids look right at home with those OLPC XOs. http://twitpic.com/gsdx Now we’re going to make everyone jealous. ;)

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@limburger2001 If you hate waiting for people, you should take up smoking dope. It helps pass the time.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to limburger2001

Maybe “Stilgherrian Live on the Road” is too late? Willie Nelson (!) already did a live Istream across the USA. http://willierun.com/

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@Alegrya Excellent, I may try to catch up with you later. I don’t know where I’d be without my coke spoon.

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@Alegrya Fank you for feeding our ferocious felines while we were faffing about in far-flung fields.

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Six illusions: Are you sucked in by these? http://is.gd/4hJI

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@voirol Yes, we should call Adelaide’s “Family” serial killer murders “car killings” because the killer drve one. Good, eh?

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RT @MissRFTC: Man kills wife after she changes her Facebook status to “single”: http://tinyurl.com/634cfd

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@Nickhodge I am not going to respond to your tweet because that would make me look smutty.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to NickHodgeMSFT

Liking TweetDeck’s “group” feature more and more. Now I am going to classify you all by level of cuntliness and lust factor.

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RT @Nickhodge: UR RNA molecules are base 4 computers running some wierd arse closed source intelligent designed OS http://tinyurl.com/686v2x

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@ApostrophePong: “Copying footage into my HDD. It takes hours.” There’s a word for that, and the word is “pub”.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to ApostrophePong

@jarruzza I’ve loaded TweetDeck and yes it does look like a far better way to manage my high volume of Twitter traffic. Thanks.

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RT @middleclassgirl: “@panosd I could say something so offensive that only @stigherrian would appreciate it” VICTORY IS MINE!

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Twhirl doesn’t have spell-checking? FAIL!

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@Nickhodge I am starting to merge all of your Twittersteams in my mind.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to NickHodgeMSFT

Though “unregulated sperm donation” sounds like… oh… fill in the rest yourselves, I think I need more alkaloids.

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@LacqueredStudio I think my headline is a vast improvement on the “Adelaide Now” original. You KNOW you want to click through.

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@serdar Yeah but we don’t try to get a business to buy into an “AJAX strategy”, but we try with “Web X.0 plans” etc.

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Old man shuffles, long white hair, long white beard, black-rimmed glasses, green-chequed flanelette shirt. He looks very, very tired.

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Gangly curly-haired politics student in khaki shorts and battered shirt, carrying his Thai takeaway, striding awkwardly.

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A Greek couple, him in white shirt and dress jeans, her in dark skirt & blouse, her hand down the back pocket of his jeans.

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Two young Chinese student girls, sharing the carrying of their brand new rice cooker. Sentimental Jap-kitch t-shirts.

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Shaved head, muscles, “celtic knotwork” barbed wire tattoos, baggy jeans, black singlet: Sydney gay cliché. Alone. Pauses, crosses road.

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@viveka UTS tower is one of the most beautiful buildings in Sydney, a classic example of brutal modernism. I love it. National Trust please!

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A wogboi in baseball cap revs his spoiler-equipped electic blue BMW. No-one is impressed. He moves 2m forward in the traffic jam.

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The third in the group, a young women, is slightly older, but only slightly. Hair tightly tied back, she’s either a librarian or a spook.

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More immaculate gothlings arrive and are carded at the door. Red plastic spikey wristband. The Maori/Islander bouncer smiles, waves them in.

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@likeomg I’m guessing the number you’re after is the gothboi’s. You’ll have to fight me for it. ;)

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Two chubby middle-aged lesbians stroll slowly, holding hands, smiling, chatting about passers-by. I’m guessing mid-ranking govt staffers.

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@josh909 Foot-tapping, eh? Have you considered going to the US and runnng for the Senate?

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The stylish gothboi returns, accompanied by a curly-haied friend who looks like an off-duty car radio salesman in a cheap striped shirt.

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Two rough-voiced cropped-hair dykes walk the other way in jeans and singlets. One carries a bottle of wine, poorly wrapped in brown paper.

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Two middle-aged women stroll by looking well-educated and stylish in their Little Black Dresses. One carries a small gift, wears a red boa.

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Dear fat red-haired man on passing bus, your combination of straggly beard, slightly-too-tight shorts & Led Zeppelin singlet does not work.

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@josh909 I think I recognise you from your avatar and rapid eye contact outside the pharmacy. I don’t talk to people in toilet cubicles.

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6’4” of young gothboi with sleek black hair and perfectly-formed flowing black trench coat strides out into the street, purposefully.

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As dusk falls, a cool breeze drifts in thru the pub windows as the video jukebox plays Promises’ “Baby It’s You”. http://is.gd/4ixh

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(I’m sure that @ApostrophePong is too deep in his editing to want dinner yet, what with a late lunch n’all.)

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It is, indeed, a normal Saturday night on King St. I bought dinner from Taste, but have stopped at Kelly’s for a pint of people-watching.

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Another bank verandah, this one with guitar and fiddle players churning out playful Irish folk tunes.

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Outside Better Read Than Dead bookshop, a 16yo artfag in hornrim glasses enthuses at his friends about his visit to Louis Voutton & Versace.

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Outside the bank opposite, a woman in fishnets and a black top hat plays gypsy accordian. Welcome to Newtown.

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The sun has set. Opposite corner of Church St two guys play the blues, set up with portable amps under the hardware store verandah.

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@andrewbarnett Currawongs are common in many parts of Sydney. We have ~15 living in a tree next door. @ApostrophePong is making friends.

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@chris23 What have I done now? I’m walking down King St, sun setting at the end of a gorgeous spring Saturday.

via Cloudhopper in reply to chris23

@nwjerseyliz The currawong is a smart bird, we have lots nearby. It flies under the tree canopy with a flopping pattern.

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Actually still on Darlington Rd, a long-haired woman plays melancholy guitar on the terrace-house balcony as a currawong flops past.

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Wandering back down King St after dumping the Platypus at the women’s basketball.

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@josh909 Yes, that would have been me and @SnarkyPlatypus leaving The Duke. Say hi next time!

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Jazz musicians on King St. Somebody get a gun.

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@riayn The @SnarkyPlatypus is going to be at that match too! Sydney Flames v Canberra Capitals, that is.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to riayn

Lunching at The Duke, Enmore, with the @SnarkyPlatypus and some bitterness. And wine.

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@joshsharp For sure, the kazookeylele is very, very special. http://is.gd/3Oha

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@kcarruthers I’m not rude, just boistrous. Anyway I’m going to see @SnarkyPlatypus now and be butch. All ur sock puppets are belong to us.

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RT @joshsharp: Awesomest cover version of the Final Countdown ever: http://is.gd/3Oha YES! YES! YES!

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@limburger2001 No, the half-sibling aren’t lesbians. Well, not all of them. Their MOTHERS are lesbians. Do try to keep track!

via Twitter Web Client in reply to limburger2001

“Rate limit exceeded” my arse!

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@trib We have moved beyond the more gooderer grammer and youse are behind the times like way heaps, bro.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to trib

@broady @Nickhodge It’s a deal. I’m even prepared to go best-of-three nuded up.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to broady

@kcarruthers “Why not Bacchus and Eris and that funny Norse one?” Because I say so. Ask anyone.

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@Nickhodge @broady It would be more fun if we could all watch the two of you in some sort of jelly-wrestling competition.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to NickHodgeMSFT

@limburger2001 In the names of all the gods (except Bacchus and Eris and that funny Norse one), WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to limburger2001

@mindykoch Seth Godin is OK provided you want the entire world to be about marketing and no-one actually MAKING anything.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to mindykoch

Reading The Onion’s “Our Dumb World: Atlas of the Planet Earth”, now with 30% more Asia. I believe this thing is called a “book”.

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RT @rosshill: RT @mikestenger: EPIC joke: I went to the ATM this morning and it said “insufficient funds”. I’m wondering is it them or me.

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@Nickhodge I can fix Icelanding Hedge Funds and 3am kitteh wakeup calls personally, but I will sub-contract dealing with your itchy balls.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to NickHodgeMSFT

@Mediamum Sorry, yes. [sigh] “That was the worstest mistake what I maided all day.” So, is everyone happy now? Or do I have to get my belt?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to Mediamum

@SnarkyPlatypus Thank you, like like guessing games. I often win. Or alarm people. Or both.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@bengrubb Is that where do I, personally, insert the hammer? Or when would someone insert the hammer, generally?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to bengrubb

@SnarkyPlatypus “A strange screeching noise outside, an animal, but unsure what it is. Sounds like a pig giving birth.” May I guess?

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@fictillius “Can anyone recommend an in car mount/charger for the iPhone?” No, but I have a hammer. A large, solid one.

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Somehow I survived @katska &a@matthewlandaueraue@ApostrophePongophePong and the birthday-celebrating drag kings to get home, eat and watch comedy.

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Whoever at “Stupid Stupid Man” who cast Deborah Mailman as a white supremacist is a genius!

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For those who asked, we’re still at Kelly’s On King, Newtown. For our sins.

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Hah! Both Jebusfone users have flat batteries! Losers!

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Correction. It’s not karaoke. It’s just that the cover band has been totally pwn3d by drag kings. Well, the whole pub, really.

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The karaoke kicks off with a bunch of drunken drag kings singing “(Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”. Kill me now.

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Visitors. @katska and @matthewlandauer arrive. The old man adminishes me for being antisocial. I go offline to drink beer with friends.

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@katska The exhusted @ApostrophePong is at home, taking a break from his video editing. He’s probably glad I’m out of his way.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to katska

Dammit I will stay for another beer, which I have now. Fat Family has negotiated their way up to the terrace for a family dinner.

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@katska Not sure how long I’ll be here. I have @ApostrophePong’s dinner and, um, my track record is not good here. No trouble tonight pls.

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Fat girl has an older sister, maybe 19 or 20, fat in her zebra-print blouse and jeans which yes your arse does look big in them. Drab hair.

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Drummer arrives, and drumnmer’s girlfriend.

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She is still too fat. She and the grey-haired man are waiting for the women to finish using the pub toilet before moving on.

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It’s not a floral print dress it’s a dark blue beach dress with orange crabs and yellow fish and a red button holding it closed at the back.

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“Where’s your friend?” a boring regular shouts. I pretend not to hear. But he shouts his question again. I shrug “dunno”, return to kbd.

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Lights changes, masses cross, a jumble of alt and punks and respectables and then the change again and the bus roars into action.

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Grey-haired man t-shirt “I got Bourbon-faced on Shit Sreet”, 7yo daughter in floral-print She’s fat, bored, skin like too many burgers.

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Gothboi and his car radio salesman friend leave, followed by all the other gothlings. I think they saw the band arriving. Good call.

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Man walks in carrying guitar case and a box. The next man carries a Marshall amp.

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“Hi Alex! Let’s go!” One of the girls pretends to fellate her golf club as a camera-phone picture is taken. Flash. The group turns, is gone.

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They’re blocking the street as they decide their next move. The men chat quietly, the girls scream & giggle & shout. 2 separate circles.

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The mob of 10 pseudo-golfers emerge, shouting at their bleachy friend to get of the phone girl. All have the toy clubs.

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That is the shortest short brightest bright purple dress I have ever see! Just a flash as she almost runs past, handbag flapping.

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@katska I’m at Kelly’s On King, opposite the Newtown Post Office. Table right at the front, window open onto the street.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to katska

Bleachy-pseudo-golfer is STILL on the phone, tapping the toy club against her leg like a riding crop. Bright purple, with a blue handle.

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RT @middleclassgirl: @stilgherrian one of my absolute pet hates that says “I am a complete twat” is sunglasses as headband

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@JonoH I’m drinking one pint of James Squire’s Amber Ale, maybe one more before I deliver the chicken and salad home. Watching my village.

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@timelady @Nickhodge @mediahunter @erkpod Glad you’re enjoying it. @ragnarok1971 Sorry you’re not, feel free to use Twittersnooze. ;)

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On the video jukebox, Olivia Newtown-John and John Tavolta have been replaced by a popular but simplistic dance track.

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Bleached-blonde woman on phone outside pub, carrying a plastic toy goldflub. More pretend-golfers inside. She’s loud, tanned, gold-bangled.

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Young man in sports car passenger seat! It’s an hour after sunset. You do not need sunglasses on your head. Arm inside the vehicle, please!

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A young couple looking very pleased that the bouncer is taking a toilet break. I don’t think they’d have passed carding. Upstairs, fast!

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A man with a mid-life crisis and a racing-green convertible has his son in the passenger seat, wide-eyed with delight at King St’s wonders.

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The man talking to the bouncer is trying to maintain eye contact, so he keeps missing when trying to put his lighter into his pocket.

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@katska I’m not intersted in analysing now. I’m just watching, noting… Plenty of time for analysis later. Or not. Enjoy the moment.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to katska

I suspect the people strolling slowloy have already eaten dinner, those walking faster are still looking.

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@katska: “Well they’re the people you chose to describe -it’s a selective view point…” All viewpoint are selective. This is mine. Deal. :)

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@Fush: “Question: Is there anything you can wear that says nothing about you? I say no.” Agree 100%. Everything is a sign. All hail Umberto.

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Family. Tired mother shepherds three children, each carrying bookshop purchases. Father looks into pub window disapprovingly. I glare back.

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Mostly couples in the street now, pointing to potential eating-places. Also men, either alone or in rowdy pairs.

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Skateboarder. Tall, skinny, black-clad but for white baseball cap. He almost drops his drink in its bright pink disposable cup, straw.

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RT @viveka: “@stilgherrian is our very own Gonzo twitterer. Bravo!” Now THERE is a compliment, thank you! [blush]

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His t-shirt reads “sotallt tober”. She has seven starts tattooed just above her left breast. He blouse is… skimpy. They’ve been drinking.

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@katska I’m describing exactly what I see. Are the stereotypes my perception? I don’t know. People signal their worldview with clothing etc.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to katska

@Nickhodge Yes, the old guy looks like one of the local old Communists. I think he’s remembering the good old days, but only dimly.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to NickHodgeMSFT

Woman strides into the pub, bright red dress, bright red lipstick, henna’d hair, whistling. Moves with all the grace of a farmer.

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RT @SnarkyPlatypus: R/ship law reform means that you can now legally be in more than one de-facto relationship at a time http://is.gd/4jfM

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Amused that spam volumes are down to 30% to 40% of usual levels on Sundays. Spammers have the weekend off too.

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@ZebraBites Yes, but we don’t need an excuse like Time to yell at each other. Well, at least I don’t. I just yell. Or bark.

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@StuartLivesey “Targeting” women to get “hits”. Why does markerting language sound like Vietnam War vets planning their last “campaign”?

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RT @wolfcat: @rosshill Time is an abstract construct so people can yell at each other for being late, it serves no other purpose.

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With all the talk this week about Internet filtering in Australia, I reckon my analysis from July is still current. http://is.gd/18y3

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Trying to decide whether to turn last night’s tweets into a blog post before starting capital-W “Work”. I will decide under the shower.

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According to http://followcost.com/st…, yesterday I was 7x more annoying than Scoble! This is too easy.

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@SnarkyPlatypus Guten morgen. At least @TurnbullMalcolm warned us he’d be on via Twtter, so we know to go make a cup of tea instead.

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Sun plan: Keep taking the tablets; sysadmin at Darlinghurst client all day; tweet 10,000 in there probably; night free, or at least cheap.

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@andrewbarnett Oh of course I’m appropriately attired for teh blessingz. Threadbare white hotel-style dressing gown, bare feet, unshaven.

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@andrewbarnett “Are we wearing the silk frock today?” Is that your Wish? Or just a Hope?

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@facibus Welcome back to God’s Own Earth. I am your God. For today. I will grant everyone one Wish each. Afterwards there will be ice-cream.

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…but Senator Conroy was in my dream instead. I was trying to explain Twitter but he couldn’t work ANY communications device, even pencils.

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Alas I did not dream of fat 7yo girls in crab-print beach dresses, mobs of singing drag kings and possums having sex as predicted…

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@NathanaelB I suspect @TurnbullMalcolm is speaking in the 3rd person because he’s more used to Facebook. Or has the god delusion thing.

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@plasmaegg Your dew point will be more comfortable shortly, My Son. Also, your headphone cable will never tangle again. [wandplingsparkle]

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@franksting Bless you, My Son. You may permit yourself an extra chocolate biscuit today or, if you prefer, 15 pints of dark ale.

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Emerges. It’ll be a beautifl sunny day. I have arranged it thusly for you all. Please enjoy.

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Off to dream of fat 7yo girls in crab-print beach dresses, mobs of singing drag kings and possums having sex. G’night all. [exit]

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@SnarkyPlatypus Possums do have the most raucous sex. Even louder and screechier than that guy who… er… never mind.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

@SnarkyPlatypus I suspect the animal is a possum or three having sex.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to SnarkyPlatypus