Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

October 19th, 2011

Me at CSO: “McAfee confirms Android as favourite mobile target” arseh.at/ln8

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@franksting You must be running out or Ironic Sarcasm. Shall I get you another bottle at duty free?

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RT @kim_singletary: best quote from Sir Richard Branson “big breakthroughs come from pushing the boundaries” [Um, tautology?]

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@iain_chalmers No-one has explained how to get hookers and blow on the tab. There must be some sort of secret code.

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Plan change: I’m returning to Sydney a day early to cover ISACA’s “Technology on the Move” Summit Tue 25/10. arseh.at/ln7

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Why do people always assume I’ve been drinking?

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I wish to make it clear, @iain_chalmers, I have not actually ordered the jigs of Bloody Mary. I am a professional.

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I have moved on from the bain marie, @ssharwood @rashasman. Please note the preposition in that sentence.

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@NickHodgeMSFT I HAVE NOT HAD A SINGLE DRINK ALL DAY AND YOU SHOULD NOT JUDGE ME.

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I also like how the gun range fees are half price for kids 8 to 17yo.

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So @HamishBarwick, do you still want to go here and have some fun? Machine gun rental from $35! arseh.at/ln6

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@helenperris Um, so what would be your choice for a breakfast cocktail?

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@NickHodgeMSFT You’re doing your Apache configuration files all wrong and stuff, mate.

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Did I mention that jugs of Bloody Mary are $26? They’re the first item on the room service breakfast menu.

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Oh well… it’s 2130, I’ve filed a story, and it’s another busy day tomorrow with breakfast at 0700. Time for a medicinal… um, something.

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RT @BernardKeane: Only if it’s back in the bain marie. [I agree, that would be a winning strategy.]

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Something I ate from the conference bain marie has seriously upset my gut. Would anyone like photos?

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@jeamland @quietdiscourse Oh, you guys…

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RT @sortius: Bit of a silly question, like asking “Where’s the Einstein of Whoring?” [Also, search for “dancing about architecture”.]

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“Where’s the Steve Jobs of IT security?” asks Kenneth van Wyk. arseh.at/ln5

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I suppose I should try to pretend to write something, seeing how I’ve skipped another media/analysts dinner to do so. And to avoid them all.

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@franksting On the downside, the propaganda process is much more intense here.

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@franksting Nothing new is announced at regional events, and here in Vegas there’s access to the most senior executives etc.

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That was my rest / consider break, where I think about what to write that’s not just regurgitating the quotes I’ve heard.

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Also at this venue, the Western Republican Leadership Conference.

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RT: Me at CSO: “Duqu, Son of Stuxnet, has arrived” arseh.at/lmw

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Starting briefing session with the two co-presidents of McAfee … and I’m almost awake enough to ask proper questions.

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@NickHodgeMSFT @firstdogonmoon So if that diagram is to be believed, Catriona Rowntree knows how to do ping-pong shows?

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@firstdogonmoon @NickHodgeMSFT “Fruit of my Loins” is like a ping-pong show but with kiwifruit or passionfruit.

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“It’s time for the truth … about SIEV X”, but which politicians will have the spine? The decency? arseh.at/lmz

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“While we can’t see them, we’re fairly certain these infrared rays strike Earth’s surface… just heat everything up.” arseh.at/lmx

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Isn’t it lovely that RIM has blacked out BlackBerry for three days as a memorial to Steve Jobs. Oh wait.

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Me at CSO: “Duqu, Son of Stuxnet, has arrived” arseh.at/lmw

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Every time I see or hear someone say “going forward” I want to spit on them.

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@hortovanyi Oddly enough, I haven’t booked for a Virgin Galactic flight yet, as deposits “start at $20,000” arseh.at/lmu

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I have abandoned Mr Branson, ‘cos I do have work to do. I can watch a TV chat show any time.

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I wonder whether everyone knows the difference between “wisdom” and a platitude…

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In first year, claims Branson, Virgin Galactic will put more people into space than entire US/USSR space programs.

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Branson says Virgin Galactic will be operational by Christmas 2012., cost equivalent to Pan Am UK-US flight in 1920s.

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So that’s the promo video for Virgin Galactic…

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Turning off to save battery. I’ll return when it isn’t self-serving recap, or I hear any sentence without the word “leverage”.

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“We created an ecosystem to leverage our open architecture.” BUT WAS IT NEXT-GENERATION? HUH? HUH?

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McAfee’s definition of the other next-generation thing also exactly matches Gartner’s! EVEN MOAR MAGICK!!1!!!!1!

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McAfee’s definition of next-generation intrusion prevention exactly matches Gartner’s. OMFG IT’S MAGICK!

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“Computing has become an indispensable part of our lives today,” says the next McAfee guy. DID YOU KNOW THIS?!!?1!!

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“It’s a bit cyberworld out there. Somebody’s got to protect it.”

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RT @jasonlangenauer: Was there carefully selected ethnic and gender diversity amongst the family/business people? [Well, der.]

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Man from McAfee explains that being bought by Intel was a good thing. He’s “more excited”. This is also surprising.

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Man from McAfee on stage explains that McAfee is good and wonderful. This is, of course, surprising.

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“The search for safe” is your slogan? What, you’re searching for an adjective, not a noun? You sure about that?

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Oh. Apparently the hashtag isn’t , the name of the event, but . Twats. A hashtag is not a brand. Arsehats.

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“… and this was extremely well recepted”, says the McAfee MC on stage, ignorant of the word “received”.

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People APPLAUD the promo video? FFS! More Kool-Aid to The Venetian Grand Ballroom, stat!

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Standard corporate video rolls: platitudes over “uplifiting” music, footage of “diverse” happy/successful family/business people.

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@BennettArron I think I was stabby well before the end of the tweet. The hero-worship in these events is sickening.

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Love the way everything’s now branded “McAfee: an Intel company”, as if anyone actually cares.

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Approx 2000 in room. Usual mix of huge screens and music with too much bass makes is Branson-ready.

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Next on the agenda at McAfee’s arseh.at/lms is two hours of Richard Branson. How long will it be before I get stabby?

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@Maab @LiamT In Aust law, IIRC, you don’t need a warrant to search/seize objects physically on a person when they’re arrested.

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0900 and that’s one briefing session done. And now, to the next one, followed at 1000 by Sir Richard Branson’s 2-hour [!] keynote.

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I just scoffed a rather fine breakfast ‘cos I have only 12 minutes to gather stuff, get to the conference and register. Hahahahaha!

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Thank you, McAfee, for scheduling a media briefing at 0800 after feeding us margaritas last night, No, really.

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@swearyanthony @LiamT It’d be state laws for state offences, federal law for federal offences, presumably. IANAL.

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RT @ViciousPotato: If you tell them you don’t know what it is, how can they prove otherwise? [By showing that you’ve been using the device.]

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RT @LiamT: In Australia is it illegal to refuse to give police the password to your computer/phone if you’re arrested? [I don’t know! Eek!]

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Tue plan: McAfee all day, with the first briefing at 0800; 1900 Press & Analyst Dinner @ Tao Asian Bistro; exhaustion.

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Oh. I started writing but fell asleep. And now it’s Tuesday. Without finished writing. Botheration.

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