Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

March 7th, 2012

Apparently some people’s internets don’t have scroll bars.

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Convincing native fauna to stay outside.

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Oh FFS now I have the cuckoo-dove and the rosellas fighting for bird seed on the dining table!

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And now the cuckoo-dove has turned up too, but now it’s four rosellas versus one cuckoo-dove. And it’s getting rather rowdy.

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So, I arrive back at Wattle Cottage and within five minutes a certain rosella is tapping at the door. Sheesh, it didn’t take them long!

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I also wish to take exception to the people who earlier suggested that I might be careless with firearms. You have no idea.

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RT @lukebuckmaster Any suggestions where the remake of Falling Down should be shot? [In the head?]

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Never buy Homebrand jelly beans, they are shit.

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In what universe are corn holders a “Home Essentials”?

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Right. Time to face Double-Bay-on-the-Hill and then head back to the cottages.

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Is @jimschembri on gardening leave?

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Ah, ten points to those who suggested “engagement” is measures in “carats”, @electric589 @unixbigot @dobes. Now go kill yourselves.

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FFS, I cannot leave the pub at Leura because rain.

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RT @Kriegaffe: I’m more critical of people believing outrageous claims than those making them. [I think I’m with you on that one.]

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“How engaged are your customers?” is measured in what units, exactly?

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Me at @CSO_Australia: “Zero damage from last year’s RSA breach” arseh.at/t2k

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“Schrodinger’s pants”? @jonoabroad, you are crossing the boundaries…

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RT: Me at @technologyspec: “Hacking up the facts”, in which infosec vs the media, kinda. arseh.at/t2d

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RT @rycrozier: @stilgherrian how much do you charge for outbound traffic? [Pants on or pants off?]

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I am scalable. I have leadership performance. I am providing a more secure hardware foundation.

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Oh who asked you?

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WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN AND HOW ARE YOU PERMITTED TO HOLD DOWN ACTUAL JOBS?

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“These new processors deliver leadership performance”, so there!

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How dare you all be so skeptical! It’s “built to scale to meet the demands of an increasingly connected world”! HOW CAN YOU DOUBT THAT FACT?

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“Powering the Cloud to Handle 15 Billion Connected Devices”? Oh FFS get your hands off that thing, people!

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I really hate the internet.

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So, the bullshit level in this headline of a media release is…? node3.au.trclient.com/4880/online/18…

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Sorry, corrected URL coming…

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RT @wishydig: One of my students asked what you can do with a degree in linguistics. “Mostly give up,” I said.

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So, “Patch Monday” podcast fans, which was your favourite episode from 2011? Not that I’m choosing an awards entry or anything…

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One of my editors is encouraging me to have sex with a porn star. How did I end up here?

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RT @swearyanthony: Mitt Romney actually said that if he is President, “coal will not be a 4 letter word”. [Also, .]

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Hint: “Amazing” does not mean “of mild, temporary amusement”.

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Does anyone even remember what “amazing” actually means?

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“This remains a work in progress.” Indeed.

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I’d be grateful if someone could keep track of my wager with @DrRimmer because memory loss.

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The key question, therefore, is whether pirates can beat sex. Good luck! /cc @jeamland @chrisjrn @DrRimmer @piratepartyau @sesh @purserj

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RT @jeamland: As a yardstick, in 2010 Senator Online scored 0.14%, Sex Party 2.04%.

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Looks like that’s a “yes”, @DrRimmer. And yet @purserj thinks I’m safe. This should prove to be “interesting”… ;)

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Indeed, @sesh, I know those other minor parties get ~1%, but my gut feeling is @piratepartyau can’t match. Wager accepted, @DrRimmer?

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Uhoh. I just made another public wager about politics. I have a rather poor track record at this. When will I learn?

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Well, @DrRimmer, here’s $100 on @piratepartyau not getting 1% or more of Senate first-preference votes nationally at next federal election.

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Cranky. Oh, you noticed?

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@DrRimmer Sorry that should’ve read popular uprising against SOPA, but the argument stands. Those who notice this stuff ARE the 1%, I say.

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@DrRimmer WTF? “Popular uprising” against ACTA/TPPA? I’ll pop down to Blacktown now and ask how many have even heard of ‘em, shall I?

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I can’t help but think the SES helicopter could be put to better use at flooded Wagga Wagga than sightseeing by the PM and media.

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I have a cow.

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RT @purserj: Oklahoma is spilling over with Santorum. [As it always has done, to judge from the movies I’ve seen. Oh wait.]

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RT @jeamland: SHARIA. YOU ARE EATING IT. [Nope. I’ve gone for the steak.]

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@jpwarren I don’t recall mentioning “vendor certification”. Linking understanding to specific vendor procedures is also fail, IMO. @purserj

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@johnemcintyre Sir, you live in a nation where you have the right to bear arms. You know what to do. In your heart, you know.

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@jpwarren Your question translated: “If you lose your drivers license can you still work as a driver?” Um, FFS of course not! /cc @purserj

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“Aussie mum exposing the secret halal list” WTF Today Tonight?

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Meanwhile, me at @technologyspec: “Hacking up the facts”, in which infosec vs the media, kinda. arseh.at/t2d

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RT @jpwarren: You don’t need a license to be a sysadmin. [And that, Sir, is pretty much my entire point.]

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I think I’d better go somewhere for solid food now.

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By people who call themselves syadmins but then when they migrate something to another server the whole thing goes down for a day. Useless!

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So much of the internet is built by incompetents! It’s like the electricity grid was built by enthusiasts who once plugged in a toaster.

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RT @zdnetaustralia: Allphones back-end unprotected: bit.ly/AE2XCy [FFS! It’s about time people were jailed for this incompetence!]

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RT @yeebok: News story ‘the flood water is heading downstream’ yes, that is what it normally does. Upstream would be news worthy…

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So Al Jazeera English is looking for an internet troll in Melbourne. You know what to do, people. arseh.at/t2c

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Oh Dear God I’m gonna have to read up on this whole Anonymous / WikiLeaks / FBI sting / double agent bullshit now, aren’t I?

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So, I just emailed the weirdest story pitches I’ve ever sent in my life.

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Wed plan, belated, unordered: Write 2 x articles for money, 1 x blog post for guilt; coordinate client webby stuff; shopping in the village.

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This morning’s queue of beggar-birds: 1 x cockoo-dove, 2 x rosellas. Cuckoo-dove can still monster the rosellas, who come back later.

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Last night’s dream is coming back to me. Airport security failed to detect that I’d accidentally left a loaded gun in my backpack.

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RT @lexiphanic: Best tumblr ever: Pictures of People Scanning QR-codes bit.ly/AgVg66 [I agree, this is very special.]

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lexiphanic Best tumblr ever: Pictures of People Scanning QR-codes bit.ly/AgVg66

via Buffer (retweeted on 10:11 AM, Mar 7th, 2012 via TweetDeck)