Apparently some people’s internets don’t have scroll bars.
Convincing native fauna to stay outside.
Oh FFS now I have the cuckoo-dove and the rosellas fighting for bird seed on the dining table!
And now the cuckoo-dove has turned up too, but now it’s four rosellas versus one cuckoo-dove. And it’s getting rather rowdy.
So, I arrive back at Wattle Cottage and within five minutes a certain rosella is tapping at the door. Sheesh, it didn’t take them long!
I also wish to take exception to the people who earlier suggested that I might be careless with firearms. You have no idea.
RT @lukebuckmaster Any suggestions where the remake of Falling Down should be shot? [In the head?]
Never buy Homebrand jelly beans, they are shit.
In what universe are corn holders a “Home Essentials”?
Right. Time to face Double-Bay-on-the-Hill and then head back to the cottages.
Is @jimschembri on gardening leave?
Ah, ten points to those who suggested “engagement” is measures in “carats”, @electric589 @unixbigot @dobes. Now go kill yourselves.
FFS, I cannot leave the pub at Leura because rain.
RT @Kriegaffe: I’m more critical of people believing outrageous claims than those making them. [I think I’m with you on that one.]
“How engaged are your customers?” is measured in what units, exactly?
Me at @CSO_Australia: “Zero damage from last year’s RSA breach” arseh.at/t2k
“Schrodinger’s pants”? @jonoabroad, you are crossing the boundaries…
RT: Me at @technologyspec: “Hacking up the facts”, in which infosec vs the media, kinda. arseh.at/t2d
RT @rycrozier: @stilgherrian how much do you charge for outbound traffic? [Pants on or pants off?]
I am scalable. I have leadership performance. I am providing a more secure hardware foundation.
Oh who asked you?
@SnarkyPlatypus Welcome to my world, Sunshine!
WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN AND HOW ARE YOU PERMITTED TO HOLD DOWN ACTUAL JOBS?
“These new processors deliver leadership performance”, so there!
How dare you all be so skeptical! It’s “built to scale to meet the demands of an increasingly connected world”! HOW CAN YOU DOUBT THAT FACT?
“Powering the Cloud to Handle 15 Billion Connected Devices”? Oh FFS get your hands off that thing, people!
I really hate the internet.
So, the bullshit level in this headline of a media release is…? node3.au.trclient.com/4880/online/18…
Armph!
Sorry, corrected URL coming…
RT @wishydig: One of my students asked what you can do with a degree in linguistics. “Mostly give up,” I said.
So, “Patch Monday” podcast fans, which was your favourite episode from 2011? Not that I’m choosing an awards entry or anything…
One of my editors is encouraging me to have sex with a porn star. How did I end up here?
RT @swearyanthony: Mitt Romney actually said that if he is President, “coal will not be a 4 letter word”. #coall [Also, #mittt.]
@expectproblems Also, male.
Hint: “Amazing” does not mean “of mild, temporary amusement”.
Does anyone even remember what “amazing” actually means?
“This remains a work in progress.” Indeed.
I’d be grateful if someone could keep track of my wager with @DrRimmer because memory loss.
The key question, therefore, is whether pirates can beat sex. Good luck! /cc @jeamland @chrisjrn @DrRimmer @piratepartyau @sesh @purserj
RT @jeamland: As a yardstick, in 2010 Senator Online scored 0.14%, Sex Party 2.04%.
Looks like that’s a “yes”, @DrRimmer. And yet @purserj thinks I’m safe. This should prove to be “interesting”… ;)
Indeed, @sesh, I know those other minor parties get ~1%, but my gut feeling is @piratepartyau can’t match. Wager accepted, @DrRimmer?
Uhoh. I just made another public wager about politics. I have a rather poor track record at this. When will I learn?
Well, @DrRimmer, here’s $100 on @piratepartyau not getting 1% or more of Senate first-preference votes nationally at next federal election.
Cranky. Oh, you noticed?
Have you seen this, @RNDrive? arseh.at/t2h /cc @leslienassar #2012isthenew2006
@DrRimmer Sorry that should’ve read popular uprising against SOPA, but the argument stands. Those who notice this stuff ARE the 1%, I say.
@DrRimmer WTF? “Popular uprising” against ACTA/TPPA? I’ll pop down to Blacktown now and ask how many have even heard of ‘em, shall I?
I can’t help but think the SES helicopter could be put to better use at flooded Wagga Wagga than sightseeing by the PM and media.
I have a cow.
RT @purserj: Oklahoma is spilling over with Santorum. [As it always has done, to judge from the movies I’ve seen. Oh wait.]
RT @jeamland: SHARIA. YOU ARE EATING IT. [Nope. I’ve gone for the steak.]
@jpwarren I don’t recall mentioning “vendor certification”. Linking understanding to specific vendor procedures is also fail, IMO. @purserj
@johnemcintyre Sir, you live in a nation where you have the right to bear arms. You know what to do. In your heart, you know.
@jpwarren Your question translated: “If you lose your drivers license can you still work as a driver?” Um, FFS of course not! /cc @purserj
“Aussie mum exposing the secret halal list” WTF Today Tonight?
Meanwhile, me at @technologyspec: “Hacking up the facts”, in which infosec vs the media, kinda. arseh.at/t2d
RT @jpwarren: You don’t need a license to be a sysadmin. [And that, Sir, is pretty much my entire point.]
I think I’d better go somewhere for solid food now.
By people who call themselves syadmins but then when they migrate something to another server the whole thing goes down for a day. Useless!
So much of the internet is built by incompetents! It’s like the electricity grid was built by enthusiasts who once plugged in a toaster.
RT @zdnetaustralia: Allphones back-end unprotected: bit.ly/AE2XCy [FFS! It’s about time people were jailed for this incompetence!]
RT @yeebok: News story ‘the flood water is heading downstream’ yes, that is what it normally does. Upstream would be news worthy…
So Al Jazeera English is looking for an internet troll in Melbourne. You know what to do, people. arseh.at/t2c
Oh Dear God I’m gonna have to read up on this whole Anonymous / WikiLeaks / FBI sting / double agent bullshit now, aren’t I?
So, I just emailed the weirdest story pitches I’ve ever sent in my life.
Wed plan, belated, unordered: Write 2 x articles for money, 1 x blog post for guilt; coordinate client webby stuff; shopping in the village.
This morning’s queue of beggar-birds: 1 x cockoo-dove, 2 x rosellas. Cuckoo-dove can still monster the rosellas, who come back later.
Last night’s dream is coming back to me. Airport security failed to detect that I’d accidentally left a loaded gun in my backpack.
RT @lexiphanic: Best tumblr ever: Pictures of People Scanning QR-codes bit.ly/AgVg66 [I agree, this is very special.]
lexiphanic Best tumblr ever: Pictures of People Scanning QR-codes bit.ly/AgVg66
Oh now what?