@OaaSvc Isn’t it just.
This will not end well, but at least I wasn’t watching QandA.
RT @OaaSvc: @stilgherrian are you at an infosec conference? [No, I’m in bed.]
@da_667 You poor, poor bastard.
If people actually knew what sort of people keep the internet “secure” they’d never upload anything ever again.
Shouty infosec weirdos are shouty.
@semibogan @rantyben @thegrugq Wait, what? I was paying attention to something else and seem to be behind the pace here.
@jeffsonstein Alas, it didn’t work. Shortly afterwards the range safety officer came over to “offer assistance”.
@jeffsonstein … and inside I was laughing because it was ME giving someone the “this is a deadly weapon” speech. So funny.
@jeffsonstein There is a story I can’t tell you here about one such idiot. Annoyed the shit out of me. I had to give him the lecture…
@jeffsonstein Indeed. Something I learned as a kid. Firearms are for real, and deadly. Take control, take responsibility.
@jeffsonstein … and I was quite happy to hear the neat, controlled double-taps of the police from across the road.
@jeffsonstein I am willing to admit that some of this may be post-rationalisation. But I was over these arsehats and their gunplay…
@jeffsonstein True, Sarge. :P But I was also behind 15cm of sandstone wall. 9mm can’t penetrate that.
@jeffsonstein Sigh. The gunfire was aimed at next door. I knew that. I heard police returning fire. I was in no danger. I was tired. Meh.
RT @semibogan: @thegrugq I trust scientists more than journalists. Perhaps I’m delusional. [Fuck no. Only a fool would trust journalists.]
So here’s @darrenpauli bringing us the Snowden infosec vaudeville routine. theregister.co.uk/2014/07/21/sno…
@SnarkyPlatypus @jonoabroad But really, in the grand scheme of things, this was just a bit of a tiff.
@SnarkyPlatypus @jonoabroad I’m willing to accept that some people might not consider firebombing and drive-by shootings “kiddie stuff”.
@SnarkyPlatypus @jonoabroad Nah, this was just some idiot “yoof” who’d pissed off a drug dealer one notch up the chain. Kiddie stuff.
I always knew that @darrenpauli would be trouble.
@semibogan @darrenpauli CHRIST WHAT SORT OF SICK FUCKS ARE YOU PEOPLE? SAGE-AU MAILING LIST? JESUS FUCKING WEPT.
@SnarkyPlatypus @jonoabroad We’d already had their car explode because it was firebombed. A bit of 9mm is no big deal. (What am I saying?)
@SnarkyPlatypus @jonoabroad And yes, yes, I accept that maybe that was slightly too relaxed around gunfire but whatever.
@SnarkyPlatypus @jonoabroad I was behind a sandstone wall and the police were returning fire. Not my problem. Back to bed for me.
@SnarkyPlatypus @jonoabroad That was the thing the kids next door got involved with. Baseball bats into car lights, drive-by, then that.
@SnarkyPlatypus @jonoabroad No, that was a Redfern thing. Arsehat drug dealers versus police. It’d been brewing all week.
@jonoabroad You remind me of the time I was half-woken by gunfire, listened, went “Meh, next door, there’s return fire,” went back to sleep.
@jonoabroad That’s part of it, yes. It’s about the ready-to-fire position and the engineering to support that. I’m too tired. They all bang.
@jonoabroad It’d make perfect sense if I had some weapons to show you. When the mechanisms are in front of you it’s obvious.
@jonoabroad Well, Wikipedia is very badly written, but the pros and cons of open bolt versus closed bolt are fairly outlined.
@jonoabroad Wikipedia is actually pretty OK on this. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_bolt en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closed_bo…
@jonoabroad That book is useless. No discussion of open bolt versus closed bolt design of automatic weapons. Useless.
@NewtonMark True. You’re not really a regular up here until the third generation of offspring etc.
@SMinney You are most kind.
Barman: “Another?” Me: “Nah, I just called a patron an ‘ignorant fucktard’.” Barman: “Did they deserve it?” The joys of being a regular.
I may have just loudly called someone an “ignorant fucktard”.

Sensible rule instagram.com/p/qthzjzCFss/
OH: “So it’s a dark rum. You can swap it out for a G&T and it’s essentially the same thing.” Obviously I’m leaving the venue immediately.
AntonyGreenABC I’m waiting for a neo-Marxist analysis of social media being the opiate of the masses
RT @TV_Rev: @stilgherrian Stil, TV never got better than The Bob Newhart Show in 1974. Just accept that and move on. [True. Sorry.]
@jmacmullin @zdnetaustralia Already reported. I will arrange for people to be slaughtered tomorrow.
Funny. This pic was captioned as a hacker banned from the attending a US hacker conference. Words. Facts. Whatever. twitter.com/Independent/st…

RT @semibogan: We should analyse journalism in the same way, starting with Greenwald. pic.twitter.com/hh1di7Xs1B [Yes! Yes! Yes! I’m in.]
@joneaves It’s OK. I have them killed.
And me at @zdnetaustralia the other day: “Government’s voting source code secrecy is dumb and dangerous” zdnet.com/governments-vo…
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Beware the spin behind Australia’s new surveillance laws” zdnet.com/beware-the-spi…
I suppose I should pimp my thing again.
People watch TV? I wait until it’s happened, and then trusted friends and guinea pigs will tell me if it’s worth watching. It usually isn’t.
AntonyGreenABC I really don’t understand Four Corners tonight. It must be my age.
@SnarkyPlatypus Christopher Pyne has a word for you.

RT @gattaca: Trusting soul. Sigh. pic.twitter.com/TMU6YPdQSj [You know what to do. Damn your “ethics”.]
@SnarkyPlatypus Anyone who’s impressed by the concept of “all you can drink booze” really is a D-lister.
@SnarkyPlatypus Well yes. I’ve never quite understood the attraction of airport lounges. You still have to catch a fucking bus with wings.
Just think, there’s SMEGs who’d try to leverage that conversation into free beer. I may be a word-whore, but I do have some self-respect.
Agreed, @bradsprigg @noblenick1, it’s a good drop, and worth considering on its own merits.
glengyron “What should Labor’s next big idea be?” Free nembutal?
Noahpinion The total cost of the Apollo program, in 2010 dollars, was $109 billion: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_pr… That’s about 5% of the cost of the F-35.
thequux OH: “The more complex it is, the more secure it is!” #nextvendorplease
@ladyhana @Wyld I KNOW I HAVE CREATED A SCHISM IN THE FUNDAMENTALS OF OUR RELIGION BUT SOMEHOW WE WILL COPE.
@Wyld OK, it’s not the same as Coopers Stout. Obviously. Nothing could be. But it’s a thing in its own right and worthy of consideration.
@Wyld No no, it’s actually good. I am not hallucinating.
newscomauHQ The 23-year-old rhesus macaque monkey from the Lennon Bros Circus is back at camp after making a run for it in Sydney’s south earlier today.

This is the thing, and it’s rather good. instagram.com/p/qtco0xiFnq/
heardatnature A: Is there any way to determine if a fish is bored? B: That’s a very controversial issue.
Southwark Old Stout is a thing again. A very good thing. Malty, rather than hoppy as winter ales can be. And 7.4% alcohol by volume.
@NewtonMark Fair point.
Shut up, you.
@PointZeroOne @NewtonMark Shut up. Mark must be ten years younger than me.
@NewtonMark This is terrible. It puts us in the same category as Dick Smith.
MT @NewtonMark: It’s also almost as if AGD don’t know how to comply with their statutory obligations. [“Almost”…]
Ah fuck it.
@NewtonMark True enough. And then we get the canvas sack and the Transit van. It’s the circle of life.
Fuck, @NewtonMark, I’m now one of those old farts reminiscing about when a government agency knew shit before arsehats privatised it. Oh no!
@NewtonMark The thing that impressed me back then was the depth of institutional knowledge. Which was thrown away. Usual story.
@NewtonMark No, I just skim stuff these days. Do feel free to point me to the choice cuts.
@SnarkyPlatypus Hah. Draper’s plan has been around for a couple years now. Sad thing is, it’s getting momentum.
@NewtonMark Not just NOTAMS, but all engineering documentation for airports in SA and NT. It’s OK now though, it’s been privatised.
@NewtonMark Yeah my job was document control in a pre-intranet world. Loose-leaf binders and signed revision sheets.
@NewtonMark Hah! Look, you’re just being fussy. They’re different airports. Who cares of the approach paths intersect? Oh wait.
@NewtonMark Also, my first ever full-time job involved me reading NOTAMs. Hilarious.
@NewtonMark Nah, we’re all familiar with that one. But I know from experience that [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] on weekends.
@NewtonMark I know. At least Defence operates 24/7 to deal with arsehats like me.
I was about to retweet @NewtonMark but I’ve been enough of pain in the arse to AGD for one day.
@Abdallah_172 @jilliancyork On the internet, no-one knows you’re not wearing a turban.

samwdowning This is the most surreal tweet on Twitter ever: twitter.com/MTV/status/490… pic.twitter.com/HtFebVXYcF
@Abdallah_172 @jilliancyork Thinking about it, maybe Twitter Mufti should be a thing.
@Abdallah_172 @jilliancyork Yes, I was just thinking that. I appreciate the explanations. Protestants don’t get much religious education. ;)
@Abdallah_172 @jilliancyork Oh yes, kangaroos are utterly herbivore. The same ecological niche as deer or gazelle. But they hop.
@Abdallah_172 @jilliancyork So does “halal impractical” mean kangaroo is on or off the menu? Or is it, I assume, variable?
@jilliancyork @Abdallah_172 Indeed, I am now curious about this. Not least because an old friend is a kangaroo hunter.
@Abdallah_172 @jilliancyork As an infidel, I bow to your better knowledge of halal. So what would the criteria be?
@gusworldau @lozdee Indeed. You’re failing to see that the headline, in and of itself, is wrong. You utter, utter, fucktard.
RT @jilliancyork: Is kangaroo halal? [Depends how it’s killed. Generally not, ‘cos they’re hunted, so no ritual.]
@lozdee @LifehackerAU Yes, @gusworldau is having trouble with the concept. And I am appalled.

In which @LifehackerAU suggests shaming someone into having sex against their wishes. twitter.com/LifehackerAU/s… pic.twitter.com/MF3ksWchNr
@gusworldau I am truly and utterly astonished that you are defending the damn thing.
@gusworldau I’m judging the TWEET by the tweet, you fucktard.
@gusworldau Jesus. Fucking. Wept.
@gusworldau And whether the article itself is less obnoxious is hardly the point. The tweet’s hook is that it’s OK to shame into sex. FFS!
@gusworldau “Start a crowd fight?” FFS, the @LifehackerAU tweet is a call to shame people out of refusing sex. How can you not see this?
Right, can people explain to @gusworldau why this @LifehackerAU tweet is utterly wrong? twitter.com/LifehackerAU/s… [Corrected link.]
@gusworldau @BrendonWalker @Doctortriplej The fact that you don’t see it is the entire fucking point, you twat. FFS, what is wrong with you?
@lhjh70 There was, I think. Can’t be arsed doing actual research right now. It’s been a hell of a day.

YouGov Many voters – especially Conservative and UKIP voters – doubt the existence of human rigy-g.co/1yMSQzGKpic.twitter.com/OSxq7e9ZId9ZId
@gusworldau @BrendonWalker @Doctortriplej Dig UP, Angus. Dig UP.

RT @0xAli: Yes you are selected to join the secret cyber police i.imgur.com/MMtWaIK.png [Hah! Brilliant!]
So people know that “Bad English Teeth” is because they had plumbing earlier than most and used lead pipes? #possiblynottrue
Brocklesnitch Here is an excel spreadsheet displaying when we are getting a divorce
OaaSvc 6yo: “Daddy, what did you do when you were 6? Did you play your XBox?”
me: “They didn’t have XBoxes then.”
6yo: “Were you born in a war?”
“Protecting your privacy: Our stand against ‘mandatory data retention’” by @iiNet’s @Steve_Dalby. Read, understand. blog.iinet.net.au/protecting-you…
@SnarkyPlatypus Non, je ne suis pas. Mais ma colère sera expliquée séparément.
@gusworldau @Doctortriplej @BrendonWalker “Shame” someone for rejecting sexual advances? No means no. Serious issue.
@Taco_Lad @LifehackerAU Give a fuck. The tweet stands alone. OK, I do jokes that cross the line, but there’s another line beyond that.
@purserj @e_kaspersky Thank you. Maybe it’s because everything I write gets read aloud before filing.
@BrendonWalker That’s OK. I’ll draw editor @gusworldau’s attention to the arsehat @LifehackerAU tweet with this very tweet right now.
RT @dannolan: “Suffering from bedroom austerity?” hack your life or wife using Microsoft productivity tools [No, stop it. Also, funny.]
Yeah sorry, @LifehackerAU, this one is just failure. Apology required. twitter.com/LifehackerAU/s…
@NuclearAnthro My illiteracy is now clear for all to see. Still, we weren’t strong on American authors in my rural Australian school.
OH, young woman to friends: “She’s hot, sure, but that’s the only way she gets through life. Like, she’s just thick.”
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je suis épuisé, mais j’ai encore tellement de choses à faire. Je demande immédiatement l’astéroïde. Et vous?
RT @michaelmeloni: Decent gameshow idea, “Guess what the internet guy said’. The prize is always sorrow.
Anyway, @purserj, I think @e_kaspersky delivered the best one-liner about Assange late last year. zdnet.com/youre-not-maki…
@purserj Hang on. I shouldn’t have been able to see that tweet. Fuck. That’s right. I wiped my machine a few weeks ago. New filters.
How annoying it must be to be a one trick pony when you don’t even have the pony.
RT @johnthelutheran: Also, if you couldn’t guess in advance what “Snowden says” on any given subject… [Yes, there is also that. Yawn.]
It’s not as if Assange doesn’t occasionally say interesting things. But I can find them without enduring a thousand fanchild retweets.
At least I haven’t added “Snowden” to my Twitter mute filters yet. “Assange” was added more than a year ago.
I’d pay more attention to “Snowden says…” news stories if the smug arsehole weren’t so goddam punchworthy.
“America’s Troubled F-35: Five Ways to Replace It”, from @TheNatlInterest nationalinterest.org/feature/americ… Sixth way: Breed more donkeys.
So it’s not a chimp?
@jturner_ibrs “Google Enterprise for the Atmosphere”? Is that the balloon thing?
Admitting to liking Wolfmother. Possibly because it’s a classic style done well.
@0xAli Hey that seems like solid improvement in a time of turmoil. Happy? Australia, meanwhile, squanders its wealth and stability. Sad.

TheMediaTweets Nice pigtails George… pic.twitter.com/AlPe3wyTAj (via @theipaper)

johnb78 Why won’t the Lennon Bros circus let me poke tigers with a fork? pic.twitter.com/sRvYxshYVH
“Chimp”?
Me at @zdnetaustralia today: “Beware the spin behind Australia’s new surveillance laws” zdnet.com/beware-the-spi…
Here’s The Global Innovation Index 2014, which has Australia at number 17. Not even Top 10. Sad. globalinnovationindex.org/content.aspx?p…
“Everyday pavilions: roadside bus stops in the Post-Soviet states”, being lovely architecture. concretedesignblog.com/2014/02/20/eve… Ping @ApostrophePong
5at5daily 5at5 number 79: Detroit decay, lunar history, iiNet on data retention, HST on Nixon, and Jerk Technology. tinyletter.com/5at5/letters/5…
@vealmince You too, eh?

Danger instagram.com/p/qs8bhOCFsr/
Mobile: Walk dirt track then Railway Pde to Wentworth Falls; 1607 train to Katoomba; shopping; remainder TBA.
Australia may not have mandatory data breach notification laws, but you’ll look like a goose if you don’t tell the Privacy Commissioner.
RT @joshgnosis: The Privacy Commissioner was only informed of the @CatchOfTheDay data breach last month. zd.net/WokPI6 [Bingo!]

thelancearthur Fallen Astronaut is a 3-inch aluminum sculpture on the moon commemorating those who died in the exploration of space. pic.twitter.com/h2gAyn3aZt
NewtonMark Anyone would think @CatchOfTheDay is hoping customers who aren’t paying attention couldn’t find out they’re spectacular arseholes.
NewtonMark Hey @CatchOfTheDay, why does your press page, front page and blog have no mention of your 0wn1ng 3 days after you press-released it?
If you missed it on Friday, @CatchOfTheDay finally fessed up to a major data breach three years ago. zdnet.com/au/catch-of-th…

johnb78 Go home Sheridan you are drunk pic.twitter.com/5SiqhTCezg
@cefiar Thanks. I’ll pass that on to @zdnetaustralia. I don’t have access to the CMS.
Y’know, @Steve_Dalby, there’s deep irony in the fact that copying the title of that blog post generates a URL with a unique tracking code.
“Protecting your privacy: Our stand against ‘mandatory data retention’” by @iiNet’s @Steve_Dalby blog.iinet.net.au/protecting-you…
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Beware the spin behind Australia’s new surveillance laws” zdnet.com/beware-the-spi…
“Data retention isn’t Big Brother: ASIO chief”, writes @joshgnosis zdnet.com/au/data-retent…
ReliveApollo11 The hatch is open! The EVA has officially started. #Apollo11 #Apollo45
Thank you, @Asher_Wolf @stufromoz, and go you @Taco_Lad.
Column filed for @zdnetaustralia, finally. My brain hurts.

Peekaboo! instagram.com/p/qsXHRciFjn/
OK, writing now.
I am pleased to report that I am slightly less sick than yesterday.
Laughing at people who describe themselves as “self-funded retiree”, oblivious to the social fabric that enabled them to “thrive”.
paulcarr Not everyone is outraged by San Francisco’s most obnoxious billboard (Spoiler: Libertarians) pando.com/2014/07/20/not… via @PandoDaily
Of course the Moon landings were faked. The Moon wasn’t even built until 1976.
Mon plan: Finish writing for @zdnetaustralia; prepare notes for UTS course; errands, Katoomba; @5at5daily; quiet night, I hope.
So today, will I be branded a Zionist, a Russian stooge, a Jihadist or a Libertarian? Or some combination of these?

RT @BernardKeane: OK so here’s the REDACTED version of the hate mail pic.twitter.com/RX7b1Awucr [I still say fuck ‘em.]
Vaulted ceilings. That’s important.
tinderfessions Matched with a brunette who just moved into my complex. She has huge tits, fucks like a porn star and has vaulted ceilings. - Corbin
tinderfessions Met a girl who said she didn’t care about dick size. I whipped it out and she laughed for 10 minutes before leaving - Josh
@SnarkyPlatypus I’ve noticed this might be common in military families. I’m wondering if it’s a policy.
notrez And that was when I found out that there’s a mod in skyrim to make all the men naked with massive dongs.

RT @BadAlbumCovers: I don’t care if he was a piano legend, there’s no need for a cover like that. pic.twitter.com/lWqeBnZkDT [“Need.” How dull.]
Some bloke on the radio just then said they want to “come down harder on Vladimir Putin”. I don’t think he’s into that.
RT @BernardKeane: The morning’s first hate mail has arrived pic.twitter.com/yQbZEpPCb7 [Well done, Chris. Well done.]
I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR MORE BASELESS SPECULATION FROM YOUR REPORTER ON THE SCENE.
fanfiction_txt WHO MURDERD THEM IM SEROIOUS IF U DONT SAY I WILL POST BAD REVVIEWWS ABOUT U
I do wish All the Media would stop telling me whether I’m shocked or not. I can still form my own emotional reactions, thanks.
I just can’t take my eyes off @fanfiction_txt. It’s like humanity’s own car crash.
fanfiction_txt Her mediocre tits were just how Beastboy liked them.
How many Australian federal MPs or Senators have qualifications in science or engineering?
leslienassar “Full-stack developer” is really just code for “mostly shithouse”
Tony Abbott is going to do his “best” to hold Vladimir Putin to his word. Just as well as he does with himself, I suppose.
Australia isn’t performing in innovation and education, @robbie_buck @702sydney? Well, the fish rots from the head.
“Lebanese-Australian Hussam al-Sabbagh arrested in Tripoli, wanted man Monzer Khaldoun al-Hassan dies in police raid” news.com.au/world/lebanese…
@juhasaarinen @R_Chirgwin This is true. I suspect that’s the next stage of my torment.
@R_Chirgwin I’m also wondering whether the quantity of scats each morning indicate that she has a friend or friends already.
@R_Chirgwin If not, I may get one in Katoomba this afternoon. I think a trap-and-release program may be called for.
You know, @R_Chirgwin, I cannot persuade that antechinus to abandon the saucepan cupboard. She is most insistent it’s hers now.
@SnarkyPlatypus Nah it’s all written down. I’m thinking further up the chain, deciding an “appropriate” response.
@SnarkyPlatypus Perhaps he should be put in charge of Her Majesty’s nuclear deterrence force. He’d handle Trident responsibly.
@ben_hr It’ll be boring for the next few hours. Rest period, until the walk happened in US TV prime time.
Mon plan, draft: Finish writing for @zdnetaustralia; prepare notes for UTS course; errands, Katoomba; @5at5daily; quiet night, I hope.
@scottcarson1957 Humidity is a bastard, right? I assume that dry clothes were a rare treat?
@purserj It was definitely an exciting time. The newspapers had reams of technical detail. Science was respected.
@scottcarson1957 Those goddam jungles, Sir, they need to be avoided.
I agree with this tweet by @SnarkyPlatypus and draw it to the attention of @702sydney and All the Media. twitter.com/SnarkyPlatypus…
@scottcarson1957 I was a little young for that sort of caper.
If course if @ReliveApollo11 happened today, most tweets about it would be a simple “Shopped.”
Seriously, @702sydney, the job is about handling information. Staff who can’t use the tools need to go to the re-education camps.
Can someone at @702sydney tell the sports presenter that jolly “Haha I don’t understand technology” stopped being acceptable a decade ago?
@BXGD True. But I’m being good today and not going down that rabbit hole today.
@SnarkyPlatypus Je sacrifie les chatons à la trésorière, car il est le plus grand homme sur la planète terre.
Here’s a better restoration of the Apollo 11 Moon walk TV footage. youtube.com/playlist?list=… The one I posted earlier has VHS artefacts.
@rickeyre I was at a country school, so it was the whole day off. The logistics would have been too complicated otherwise.
My thoughts on growing up in the Space Age. stilgherrian.com/50-to-50/09/ And the Real Space Age. stilgherrian.com/50-to-50/09a/
Here’s what the Moon walk looked like on TV to those watching live, not the crisp photos we see today. youtube.com/watch?v=CtwSgv…
@rickeyre It was at a friend’s house for me, but yes, a day off school to watch people walk on the Moon.
By my calculations, @ReliveApollo11 should be getting to the actual Moon walk at lunchtime Sydney time. Well, from memory. Shut up.
NASA’s Apollo 11 Lunar Surface Journal, contains pretty much everything you might want. hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/His…
Yeah, so 45 years is rather a long time.
ReliveApollo11 “Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.” #Apollo11 #Apollo45
@SnarkyPlatypus Bonjour. Je crée un énorme bûcher fait entièrement de chatons. C’est un petit début. Et vous?
Watch out, Vladimir, we’re sending Julie Bishop.
So Joe Hockey re-routed Sydney air traffic specifically to annoy Max Moore-Wilton. Adult government. dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/fligh…
ReliveApollo11 Mission Control to Eagle: “You are GO to continue powered descent.” #Apollo11
Happy Birthday to the Aswan High Dam, completed 21 July 1970, heralding a century of unbroken peace across North Africa and the Middle East.
Monday. They look down upon your pathetic planet, and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. Monday.