Gorn.
Following the river downstream to my hotel.
Well that was a very fine dinner indeed.
The consensus around the table is that Christopher Pyne is not a person worthy of response.
Receiving text messages from the other room.
Cheeses instagram.com/p/0XWm46iFv_/
Apparently there are also vegetables, or at least there is a rumour to this effect.
Pig tummy instagram.com/p/0XTmK6CFtM/
Charcuterie instagram.com/p/0XOuYLiFpE/
Ordered: Charcuterie plate, pork belly, cheese platter. Because obviously.
The Cisco media dinner is about to begin… instagram.com/p/0XKqPTiFln/
@bengrubb @zdnetaustralia Oh, you and your “facts”. Sigh. Thanks. I’ll look at that when I have email handy.
@dobes @TimWattsMP We obtain truth through successive approximations.
@TimWattsMP I know, but new facts make one of my assertions wrong, so that gets fixed.
@jpwarren Oh of course. I shall pop over there now, then.
@jpwarren Momentarily I shall wander down towards… where?
@TimWattsMP I’ve just emailed through an update to the article to reflect all this.
@joshgnosis @hughstephens This is a point. Will you be joining us?
@TimWattsMP I also realise I am preaching to the choir here.
@TimWattsMP Sigh. Well, the whole process has been rushed, seemingly by political needs not the need to develop coherent law. Grrr.
@hughstephens Oh. I didn’t see it myself until you pointed it out.
@hughstephens That’s be someone in the Cisco / Hotwire PR teams choosing the venue.
@TimWattsMP That’s not entirely reassuring. As you can imagine, I’m less than happy with MPs debating invisible legislation.
@hughstephens Hey you can’t pin that on me!
Well tonight’s dinner venue looks adequatebistroguillaumemelbourne.com.auFD
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Australia’s data-retention debate hits Derpcon Zero†http://t.co/fs6z9QyEBI
“Miranda Devine is right. Jake Bilardi was radicalised by the banality of lifeâ€, writes @Jeff_Sparrow http://t.co/oCyQvCvPIN
I wonder if anyone in the media / analyst pack wants pre-dinner drinks? #CLMel
@PointZeroOne No, alas, I’ve had to rearrange a few things.
“iiNet CFO leaves after a week in the jobâ€, writes @joshgnosis http://t.co/LgazfqBfGk
@PointZeroOne That’s more about you than about me, I’d say.
@SnarkyPlatypus No, Melbourne is treating me OK. It’s just the result of Certain People giving me grief.
5at5 number 163: Underwater cables, snow, defending Australia, the death of streaming music, the death of pessimism. http://t.co/fYcjGb9A5J
Crying now.
Column filed for @zdnetaustralia. It’s long and full of derp.
Heading back to the hotel to do a rewrite and some research.
How many Olympic swimming pools is that, @jpwarren?
jpwarren I mean, measured how? Number started? Number that survive? Make money? How much money? #CLMel
jpwarren Everything about this investment in IoE stuff is in direct opposition to current government policy. #CLMel
Uhoh. @jturner_ibrs has a microphone.
paul_lander A Meth Lab was found in a WalMart making it the Only thing in the store made in America.
@SnarkyPlatypus This will be my last panel for the day. I’ll be making the necessary life adjustments immediately thereafter.
The structure of the IoE innovation centre announced this morning. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WrfWHiFpC/
jpwarren There’s a lot of value being wasted by bad processes and bad managers. Putting wifi in a spoon won’t fix that. #CLMel
RT @rennemiles: Glad we have an opposition committed to protecting Australians from the LNPs data retention policy. Inspiring! http://t.co/…
jpwarren Basically, if you don’t know why things are working, connect more things and generate more data you can’t understand. #CLMel
expectproblems DIE WINDOWS FUCKING DIE ALREADY FUCK
jpwarren If you’re a fan of my snarky keynote live tweets, tune in now. This panel is looking like a target rich environment. #CLMel
Also, big data is useless without good judgement, Bradley says. #CLMel
OK, so Joseph Bradley is explaining that connecting things is pointless without connecting people. #CLMel
A panel of disruption. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0Wpkm9iFmj/
The next panel is about… wait for it… disruptive innovati#CLMelLMel
I’m visualising the IT department as a bunch of people clipping coupons from low-rent tabloids to save another 20 cents on cack gin#CLMelel
How many clouds can you dance on the head of a pin? #CLMel
I mean, all this tinkering and technical wizardry is lovely n’all, but to shave a couple percent of a minor business cost? Any ROI#CLMelel
This cloudbroking sounds like an awful lot of thinking and technicaling that provides zero improvement for the businesses’ customers#CLMelel
ellinghausen The Education Minister takes his seat for Question Time pic.twitter.com/db3qcqHI3r
See what I mean.
kmcisaac_ibrs @jturner_ibrs using cloud broker software to seamlessly move workloads between clouds is the emperor’s new clothes.
jturner_ibrs utopian descriptions of spot pricing for cloud services and all I can think of is Enron - the smartest guys in the room #CLMel
RT @jturner_ibrs: @stilgherrian it’s part of the job description for working a@IBRSr@kmcisaac_ibrsrs [I’m well aware of this.]
And I should know.
Well @kmcisaac_ibrs is feral. @jturner_ibrs. #CLMel
jpwarren Spot price arbitrage doesn’t exist yet, because you can’t easily migrate from one cloud to another. Yet. #CLMel
@BundyB @jpwarren @jturner_ibrs A bar will be involved later, I understand.
It’s probably best not to allo@jpwarrenen and me in the same room, let alone the same table. And then thereâ@jturner_ibrsibrs. Scary room.
jpwarren All this magic cloud stuff ends up being used for email and spreadsheets. You know that, right? #CLMel
Someone on the panel just referred to the spot pricing of cloud services as a “uptopian†vision. Yes, “utop#CLMel. #CLMel
jpwarren I still haven’t seen the derivatives market for cloud spot prices yet. It’s gonna happen! #CLMel
My meta view of this cloud panel is that the discussion is no longer technical but about business models and contracts. #CLMel
jturner_ibrs There have been now two references to “double click down” into a topic, when they mean expand/explain/say more. This has to stop #CLMel
jpwarren Who will be the first to build a Metacloud? #CLMel #intermetacloud
paulwallbank “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, IT’S THE INTERCLOUD!’ #CLMel
The Intercloud! #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WkoCtiFvt/
This is what a cloud panel looks like. It’s great to see the diversity. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0Wj3lTCFuI/
Oh. A “Cloud†panel. I s#CLMelLMel
“7 David Bowie Pics That Are So Impossibly Cool They Need To Be Offset With Tax Forms†http://t.co/gQ3dxrJSMd
I gather that the Prime Minister is making everything better again. Excellent.
Sensible question.
It’s not the flowers you need to worry about.
Wishful thinking? #CLMel instagram.com/p/0Wgxn1CFoU/
Cisco’s AUSTEM 2020 initiatives. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WgLVwiFnX/
Innovation Economy! #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WfdERCFlu/
jpwarren Customers are apparently not aware that Cisco is a leader (according to Gartner) for cyber-security. #CLMel
Australia is screwed. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WfB1biFkw/
@barryhoney Ah, I’ll seek clarification in that sales team integration then#CLMelel
Cisco’s products and services are now sold together, not as separate sales teams#CLMelel
Boal: “Where applicable, we’re applying the DevOps model to everything we do,†including the business mod#CLMelLMel
Ken Boal telling Cisco’s “transformation journey” #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WdfsZiFiG/
Next up for the media, Cisco regional VP Ken Boag with more detail on Cisco’s strategy etc#CLMelel
The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and information security. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WVOgyCFkK/
Hurry up. I need to do a wee.
This may come as a shock, but Cisco apparently has technology of some sort that can assist with the Internet of Everything (IoE). #CLMel
And here’s a picture. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WT-C_iFiS/
natecochrane Two @Cisco #IoE centres based in Sydney and Perth. Includes SKA through @CurtinUni, Sirca, Woodside as partners. #CLMel #IoT @networking
The innovation centre is in conjunction with Curtin University. Square Kilometre Array gets a shout-out. #CLMel
Roll another video with open fifth chords. #CLMel
The announcement: Cisco is opening an eighth global innovation centre for Internet of Things in Australia, in Sydney and Perth. #CLMel
Whimper.
Forty minutes into the allotted time, we’re getting dangerously close to the announceable. #CLMel
We’re up to the Big Numbers part of proceedings. #CLMel
Creeping slowly closer to the heat death of the universe.
Chuck Robbins is now on stage. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WRJADiFug/
So far, shouts to all the tribes, event is bigger than last year yay, internet stuff is cool and big and important now. #CLMel
@gary_blair Oh thanks for that, Gary.
Cisco’ regional vice-president Ken Boal takes the stage. I begin weeping, quietly. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WP_FIiFsc/
BUZZWORDS WITH TINKLY PIANO MUSIC AND OPEN MAJOR CHORDS. #CLMel
We have moved from the STUPIDLY LOUD pre-keynote “music” via a welcome to country to the mandatory daft corporate video. #CLMel
The keynote is next. God I hate keynotes. 75 minutes of wankery for 3 paragraphs of usable information. Sigh. #CLMel
RT @h0x0d: March 23: Visual Studio WPF Team, what we are up to? — Connect(“Liveâ€); // Q&A via @ch9 http://t.co/oZgy7N0Y4S featuring @unnir …
When @natecochrane asks about data retention, @MikePBurgess reminds us that this will create a honeypot. #CLMel
John Stewart wonders why his smart TV reboots three times a week. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WHuNeCFva/
Stewart asks how often we, individually, question whether an email is really from who it says it is. That doubt hits productivity. #CLMel
Bret Hartman: You have to prove you’re still trustworthy over time#CLMelel
John Stewart: By the time you’ve implemented the framework, the world has moved on. Did it actually materially reduce your risk#CLMelel
Mike Burgess points out that there’s plenty of companies that follow frameworks and still get hacked. It’s not about checklis#CLMelLMel
Blair mentioned a WEF white paper with a 19-question framework on cyber security. Can’t find it just now#CLMelel
Blair says the key words for trust in this context are transparency and control, not notice and consent. #CLMel
Gary Blair quotes [somebody] on trust, notes that trust is something you can add to or subtract from. #CLMel
So far this is a familiar (to me, at least) exposition of “cyber are important now†them#CLMelLMel
John Stewart notes that IT is now core to a business being able to deliver its service, therefore board needs to be across this. #CLMel
Mike Burgess says the lesson from the Sony hack was the data destruction which meant their compliance was late. Board notices this. #CLMel
Worst re-enactment of “The Last Supper” ever. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WFVP9CFr1/
Next up is a cyber security / CISO panel. #CLMel
jpwarren Spark isn’t aimed to replace WebEx (boo!) but at the low end, a team collaboration tool. #CLMel
jpwarren Much made of the ability of Spark to scale. Which means max of 25 person collaboration. Huh? #CLMel
Telstra’s figure for the average conferencing session in AU is 5.5 people running for 50 minutes#CLMele#statsyouprobablycannotusese
jpwarren Particularly enjoying the comment that this is a technology you need to see in action. Which is why we’ve seen nothing but slides. #CLMel
Spark is the rebranded Cisco Square collaboration platform. https://t.co/GCYM6kd1fQ #CLMel
Corluka says the challenge with this stuff isn’t the technology, but getting people to change the way they work. [Nothing new there.#CLMelel
Boris Corluka says key feature of Cisco’s Spark collaboration platform is realtime and non-realtime communication in one platform#CLMelel
There’s an announcement at Enterprise Connect 2015 in Orlando about a new Cisco-Telstra collaboration coming up at 1000 AEDT#CLMelel
Cisco’s Peter Hughes is talking about taking the “war room†style of collaboration mo#CLMel#CLMel
8am press conferences are a crime against humanity. #CLMel instagram.com/p/0WAC_pCFi9/
I’ll be tweeting quite a bit from Cisco Live today. http://t.co/IzKrIozCws Mute #CLMel to avoid.
Wed plan: Write for @zdnetaustralia (nearly done); 0800 Cisco Live, Melbourne http://t.co/zpUBIYDk7T; 1700 dinner with Cisco folk; collapse.
Melbourne awakes, finally instagram.com/p/0V4_sAiFly/
“Former senior IT exec at major bank charged with bribery†by @nswpolice SCC Fraud & Cybercrime Squad. http://t.co/LrbpPYHQPx
Wed plan, draft: Research and re-plan; 0800 Cisco Live, Melbourne, all day http://t.co/zpUBIYDk7T; 1700 dinner with Cisco people; collapse.
@Captainturtle Yeah that’s pretty muc@DrRachieie’s fault. Let’s try again.
@DrRachie This is not my problem, by and large.
“Former senior IT exec at major bank charged with bribery†by @nswpolicew SCC Fraud & Cybercrime Squad. http://t.co/LrbpPYHQPx
Wednesday. But is it art? Wednesday.