Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

March 24th, 2015

Farting like a geriatric cow on an all-bean diet.

via TweetDeck

@NathanWinter75 @NikkyD77 Yes, but there the bookshelf would fall right to left.

via TweetDeck in reply to NathanWinter75

@stewart_emily There’s a whole lot of stuff about building an emotional connection with people you only know as images on a screen.

via Plume for Android in reply to stewart_emily

@stewart_emily Depends what you mean by “genuine”. Search for the (arguably harsh) term “recreational grief”.

via Plume for Android in reply to stewart_emily

“In the Minister’s office, with a bookshelf.”

via Plume for Android

RT @0xAli @stilgherrian Thanks, now i am afraid of terrorists and bookshelves… [I am here to serve. Let me tell you about bathtubs…]

via Plume for Android

You’re probably more likely to die from bookshelves falling on you than terrorism.

via Plume for Android

NewtonMark Imagine if that bookshelf tipped over and fell on Brandis at his desk. Imagine. Just for a moment.

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 10:22 PM, Mar 24th, 2015 via Plume for Android)

ben_hr When David Icke is more sensible about data retention than actual govt policy you know we’ve ended up in a dark place pic.twitter.com/VR9ONIbTcL

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 10:16 PM, Mar 24th, 2015 via Plume for Android)

You too can imagine your not part of the problem by retweeting every fragment of air crash related fact or rumour that you see.

via Plume for Android

Looks like the recreational voyeurs of other people’s misery have a new plane crash to obsess over. Extra lube to the rolling news studios!

via Plume for Android

RT @CyberPrefixerAU NT Cabinet cyberministers voice support for cybercrocodile safari hunting [CYBERCROCODILES! ]

via Plume for Android

RT @belindafarrelly This has helped me better understand (and face) all the stupid this week ow.ly/i/a4mqv [So true.]

via Plume for Android

I want to know where Brandis scores his drugs, ‘cos usually it costs a fortune to be this stupid for this long. Or so I’m told.

via Plume for Android

Brandis sees a practical difference between a data store you own and a data store you can access any time you like just by asking? Arsehat.

via Plume for Android

No, @SenatorLudlam, it is not the least bit “remarkable” that Brandis doesn’t know things. It’s his key distinguishing feature.

via Plume for Android

Still, nice bookshelves, eh George? People must think you’re really bright. I mean, look at those shelves.

via Plume for Android

Thrilled∗ to be in a country that sets up comprehensive domestic surveillance because a buffoon of a minister doesn’t begin to understand.

via Plume for Android

HughRundle “Narrow and traditional.”

George Brandis sums up his general approach to thinking about any matter.

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 9:39 PM, Mar 24th, 2015 via Plume for Android)

GetUp in GetUp being useless shock.

via Plume for Android

Receiving advice on how to best manage my urination needs from a police officer. Long story.

via Plume for Android

Thanks to everyone else who also confirmed my belief about the (lack of) extra Anzac Day holiday. L

via Plume for Android

Essential’s amusingly misnamed poll, “Approval of Joe Hockey” essentialvision.com.au/approval-of-jo…

via TweetDeck

@phbarratt Oh, thanks, I wish I had the time to explore now. But alas I have to head for the train now. Noted.

via TweetDeck in reply to phbarratt

RT @mjonesy_87: @stilgherrian yep, no extra holiday. [Thanks.]

via TweetDeck

Can someone confirm that there’s no additional public holiday in NSW, given that Anzac Day is on a Saturday this year?

via TweetDeck

Ah, this is good PR from @marshontap. “I’d like you to have the opportunity to throw bread rolls at my colleagues…@rycroziere@jturner_ibrsrs

via TweetDeck

Time for gin and tonic two before the 2018 train. Because there’s nothing else to do.

via TweetDeck

RT @kcarruthers Sydney why are you so humid [It’s the weather.]

via Plume for Android

“Sharing economy apps need a fair and flexible framework of rules, Labor MP says” ab.co/1EDTMaa

via Plume for Android

Tub waan ped ped maak. I regret nothing.

via Plume for Android

“Hong Kong man who dismembered and cooked parents jailed for life” ab.co/19eS1ra

via Plume for Android

Phrases which are internally inconsistent #48: “Reality TV star”

via Plume for Android

Resorting to tub waan.

via Plume for Android

I seem to have rather a lot of email from some bloke called Mike Baird.

via Plume for Android

Done. And now, to Thaitown.

via TweetDeck

So, half an hour now to document whatever the fuck I just did, and then figure out dinner plans before the trek westward.

via TweetDeck

Ah, good, I think I’ve got the fuckers.

via TweetDeck

MarkDiStef The most Australian TV cross you can do (pic via @dobes) pic.twitter.com/2ehd0mHRsA

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:32 PM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

EXHIBITING EXTRAORDINARY PATIENCE.

via TweetDeck

I suppose I just have to be patient, and watch the scan, and watch the passing Enmore traffic. It’s going to be a late one.

via TweetDeck

PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THE SCANS TO FINISH.

via TweetDeck

“Scanning for known malware files.”

via TweetDeck

Right. Approval received. Time to flush out the infiltrators.

via TweetDeck

Waiting for a call back to authorise me to spend time and (their) money disinfecting this site.

via TweetDeck

<meta name=”generator” content=”WordPress 3.0.3” /> Yeah I see what your problem is here.

via TweetDeck

“We have received notification that abuse is originating from your service…” oh FFS that just makes the day perfect*.

via TweetDeck

@ruminski That’s not an “also”, that’s my entire point.

via TweetDeck in reply to ruminski

@kcarruthers @zerogeewhiz Well, I’ve departed the Oracle lunch. I shall forgot to pass on your comments in the fullness of time.

via Plume for Android in reply to kcarruthers

I had suspected that today’s plan seemed ambitious, and so it has come to pass.

via Plume for Android

So the marketing for the Anzac Experience events has begun. Sigh. pic.twitter.com/iHmR0uByi2

via Plume for Android

@zerogeewhiz @kcarruthers Oracle’s PR people consider your response “a bit harsh”.

via Plume for Android in reply to zerogeewhiz

“Irishmen”? Is Crusader Rabbit still living in the Great Depression? Language reflects the mind.

via Plume for Android

Very interesting information about Oracle in APAC being announced tomorrow.

via Plume for Android

So much pleasure from one fish.

via Plume for Android

RT @jdub tfw you are impossibly wedged between authoritarians and civil liberties pic.twitter.com/xAR4EEOzbj []

via Plume for Android

@PlaneTalking @paulwallbank There’s plenty of pork-pulling at most of these lunchtime briefings.

via Plume for Android in reply to PlaneTalking

@dobes No, no. I still have my pants on.

via Plume for Android in reply to dobes

Dear Oracle (and everyone), please think of an example other than Uber.

via Plume for Android

Oracle is pushing the idea of “engineered systems” rather than the “pieces of Lego” of tinkering with open source.

via Plume for Android

Here’s @paulwallbank’s picture of the pork cheek entrée. instagram.com/p/0l7ab1REKB/

via Plume for Android

Australia’s skills shortage gets a mention.

via Plume for Android

Morris says that unless you do the analytics properly you’re not going to get any ROI for gathering all this data.

via Plume for Android

Morris doesn’t like the term “big data” because it’s not about the size but about predictive analytics, rather than retrospective.

via Plume for Android

Chris Morris IDG says increasing proportion of IT spend is from line manager level. They’ve got surveys, actually.

via Plume for Android

“Australia is teetering on the edge in terms of its focus”, says Oracle’s head bloke. Will we use technology to ensure our future?

via Plume for Android

Oh that’s right. Today’s discussion is about digital disruption”. Thank God there is wine.

via Plume for Android

The Oracle lunch is about to begin instagram.com/p/0l2G83CFqh/

via Instagram

What’s even funnier is that the linguitards and whinging about an event that happened two years ago. Do try to keep up. Arsehats.

via Plume for Android

My “‘Literally’ purists literally belong in the stone age”, August 2013 abc.net.au/news/2013-08-1…

via Plume for Android

I guess I’ll have to repost my piece on “literally” again. Stand by.

via Plume for Android

Looks like @dobes is literally incandescent with rage.

via Plume for Android

@AtomicMPC Well they’re basically the same thing, under a sufficiently overwrought analogy.

via Plume for Android in reply to AtomicMPC

Imagining Sydney Central station slowly filling with sarin, a decidedly pleasing image.

via Plume for Android

OH: “Oh we have lunch there every Tuesday. We drink champagne and complain about our husbands.”

via Plume for Android

benpobjie Malcolm Turnbull sure does like discussing his colleagues

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 11:10 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

“Vast majority of metadata checks determine phone owner: Turnbull”, writes @dobes zdnet.com/article/vast-m…

via TweetDeck

@marshontap @rycrozier @jturner_ibrs @IBRS Why can’t I sit up the front? I can’t throw bread rolls as far as I used to.

via TweetDeck in reply to marshontap

You know, @jturner_ibrs @IBRS, we need to tell PR firms that their message is pretty shit if it won’t stand up to initial scrutiny.

via TweetDeck in reply to jturner_ibrs

jturner_ibrs confirmed some PR firms are scared to invite @IBRS analysts to vendor briefings because we’re too disruptive. They’re failing their clients.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:52 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

johnb78 Excellent use of “this course of action is not advised” pic.twitter.com/XmEmNEVz9X v/@luke_mas

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:51 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

MarkDiStef I can list Pad Thai-lovers favourite dishes
1. Spaghetti Bolognese
2. Margarita Pizza
3. Sweet and Sour Pork
4. Chicken Karaage
5. Nachos

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:32 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

BlackBarberCuts Barber: What you want?

Him: you ever seen Clint Dempsey?

Barber: Say no more pic.twitter.com/BbisPaO8lq

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:21 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@MjwCoach No, sometimes it’s for the unexpected sexual adventures.

via TweetDeck in reply to MjwCoach

I tell you what, the “Kill all Boomers” campaign can start today, right on this train. The 0924, aka the Pensioner Special.

via TweetDeck

Slowly filling with a bitter hatred for humans and the world they live in. On a train.

via TweetDeck

“Keep calm, men. Be British!” On the schoolboy sailors who died at Gallipoli. bbc.com/news/magazine-…

via TweetDeck

RT @TheFix: People who run in packs in the middle of the city are the worst. [Well you’re in America. You’ve got guns. Der.]

via TweetDeck

As @jturner_ibrs knows all too well, most analysts conduct all of their “work” with one hand.

via TweetDeck

There is no life problem that can’t be fixed by the retweeting of out-of-context inspirational quotes.

via Plume for Android

SecurityHumor Where would @Gartner_inc place themselves on the Magic Quadrant?
What is the sound of one analyst clapping?

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:19 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via Plume for Android)

@PlaneTalking @GreenJ I think that’s a workaround for a different problem.

via Plume for Android in reply to PlaneTalking

Radio ad playing in the taxi is for the “tradies’ mate”. An insurance company. Yes, your mate. Always.

via Plume for Android

Tue plan: 0924 train to Sydney; write en route; 1200 Oracle lunch; errand; record podcast bits; 1621 train back; @5at5daily; finish podcast.

via Plume for Android

@GreenJ @SilvesterSJ @australian Oh? I’ve found that they improve my sex life no end. YMMV, of course.

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

@GreenJ @SilvesterSJ @australian You could build a workaround by proxying your web access through a proxy server with a fixed IP address.

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

@GreenJ @SilvesterSJ That’s a yes. Telstra currently would not log those rapid public IP address changes.

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

@GreenJ @SilvesterSJ It’s down to how some of Telstra’s mobile network is now built. @australain would need to change their system to cope.

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

@GreenJ @SilvesterSJ TL;DR is that your login is tied to your IP address, and your IP address as seen by @australian keep changing…

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

@NewtonMark @Fremean @R_Chirgwin Bullshit. I saw this checklist on a website with a black background that said how to do it.

via TweetDeck in reply to NewtonMark

@SilvesterSJ @GreenJ That is pretty much the core of my theory, yes.

via TweetDeck in reply to SilvesterSJ

@GreenJ More seriously, are you on a mobile device using Telstra’s mobile data network? If so, I have a theory.

via TweetDeck in reply to GreenJ

RT @GreenJ: Dear @australian … Why won’t your app remember me? Why? So. Sick. Of. Logging. In. [Leftists always want special treatment.]

via TweetDeck

SwiftOnSecurity Maybe Mars One is how they get a list of all the people too stupid to go to Mars.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:28 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

I suppose we can’t just kill everyone.

via TweetDeck

RT @bbotezatu: @stilgherrian personal branding. Sounds like selfie 2.0 to me :) [I am so stealing this line.]

via TweetDeck

humphriesmark News Corp v Netflix: shit just got real pic.twitter.com/BoZjcIzER5

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:59 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@domknight HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF LAVA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

via TweetDeck in reply to domknight

How they ever built the pyramids without a third series of “Twilight” is beyond my understanding.

via TweetDeck

Wait. What if Russell Brand is right?

via TweetDeck

Pro Tip: Netflix is just another way for you dumb-fuck cud-munchers to sit gape-jawed in front of your TV screens.

via TweetDeck

The clamour over Netflix launching in Australia is a depressing reminder of just how little bread and circuses keeps the proles happy.

via TweetDeck

“Thousands of geese fall dead from Idaho skies” redorbit.com/news/science/1…

via TweetDeck

“The CIA Just Declassified the Document That Supposedly Justified the Iraq Invasion”, reports @vicenews news.vice.com/article/the-ci…

via TweetDeck

@teek_eh Yeah just swat those little fuckers hard, and crush every bone in their fragile little bodies.

via TweetDeck in reply to teek_eh

RT @SBSNews: Coalition gets best Newspoll in six months bit.ly/1DQgAZi pic.twitter.com/bUilxySh4I [Kinda like “Best-smelling turd”…]

via TweetDeck

Have you noticed how the only people who think a personal brand is important are those who go on and on about building your personal brand?

via TweetDeck

RT @smh: Sydney customs officer celebrated cocaine bust with coke-fuelled night out. ow.ly/KHtEJ [Seems fair.]

via TweetDeck

“Largest-ever meteorite crater found in Australian outback” telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews…

via TweetDeck

Kragar_LGF “Do you have a coloring book where you ride an eagle while holding a gun? No? Then STFU”! pic.twitter.com/VPuH2muycM

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:08 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

“Kaspersky accused of having close ties to sauna-loving Russian spies”, writes @gcluley, with some scepticism. grahamcluley.com/2015/03/kasper…

via TweetDeck

I will pretend that I didn’t see @alexkidman’s tweet about @murpharoo’s tweet, because I am already in a very bad place.

via TweetDeck in reply to alexkidman

EricScherer Donc @lemondefr utilise aussi des robots journalistes pour ses résultats d’élections avec @syllabs et @data2content pic.twitter.com/4EZ2H1uGjD

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:46 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

@murpharoo Ah yes, I see what you mean. Some things are best observed from a safe distance. Atomic explosions. Wasps. Baird/Marr slash fic.

via TweetDeck in reply to murpharoo

@murpharoo I think you need to get out of Canberra for a little while.

via TweetDeck in reply to murpharoo

Dear PR People, your client’s feelpinions are rarely “insights”, no matter how much they’re paying you to lipstick the pig. (2/2)

via TweetDeck

Dear Everybody, just because some high-profile person expresses their feelpinion with a snappy soundbite doesn’t make it an “insight”. (1/2)

via TweetDeck

Thanks to @murpharoo, I just saw the words “erotic”, “David Marr” and “Mike Baird” all in the one tweet. I feel a little ill.

via TweetDeck

murpharoo They paw him. It’s erotic. David Marr on the road with Mike Baird. All kinds of marvellous, really gu.com/p/46pct

via iOS (retweeted on 6:24 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

Tue plan, supplemental: I think I’ve put too many things into that plan.

via TweetDeck

Tue plan, draft: 0924 train to Sydney; write en route; 1200 Oracle lunch; record podcast bits; 1621 train back; @5at5daily; finish podcast.

via TweetDeck

Jason_Spacey David Cameron rules out serving a 3rd term as prime minister. He also ruled out inventing time travel, winning X Factor and riding a unicorn

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:02 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

iainmartin1 Couple “trapped” in hi-tech keyless car forgot to try the door handle… pic.twitter.com/DU5DB2s65O

via Twitter for BlackBerry (retweeted on 5:52 AM, Mar 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck)

RT @myrcurial: There is no way to optimize for Tuesday. [This is true.]

via TweetDeck

Tuesday. It could be worse. You could work in search engine optimisation. Tuesday.

via TweetDeck