Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian)

Wentworth Falls NSW AU

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @stilgherrian ever

July 19th, 2017

Oh dear it is later than I thought I’m going away now.

via Tweetbot for iΟS

martijn_grooten Why pay $0 for a Let’s Encrypt certificate when you can register the padlock emoji as part of the the domain name? twitter.com/x0rz/status/88…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:32 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@itamer Yeah well Australians are arehats.

via TweetDeck in reply to itamer

Ten years, with a non-parole period of five. twitter.com/doctormcdougal…

via TweetDeck

NewtonMark F-35 caught fire and injured its pilot because they started the engine with a tailwind. avweb.com/avwebflash/new…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 9:18 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@gaiapurpure This still isn’t a gay thing. You know that, right?

via TweetDeck in reply to gaiapurpure

@dobes Peter Dutton, now Minister for Enforcement after George Brandis has been stripped.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

ICYMI: “AGD stripped of AFP and ASIO to create Dutton-led enforcement superministry” by @dobes zdnet.com/article/agd-st…

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@smartbrain @baconbkk @thaipirate Just because you’re smiling doesn’t mean it’s not a hate crime.

via TweetDeck in reply to smartbrain

@jon_lawrence @zdnetaustralia What, the straight reportage of statements by someone you agree with? I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

via TweetDeck in reply to jon_lawrence

AwardsDarwin It’s not rocket science. pic.twitter.com/yLN1UIZAYT

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:02 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Me at @zdnetaustralia today: “Data retention’s value for money still not proven: Criminologist” zdnet.com/article/data-r…

via TweetDeck

oscarewilde 1. TERRIFIC STUFF BY THE CAT pic.twitter.com/pdO4V4UPjI

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:01 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Premise 1: You are what you eat.
Premise 2: Plants are dumb.
Feel free to draw your own conclusion. twitter.com/SnarkyPlatypus…

via TweetDeck

Yeah I’m pretty sure this is how we actually ended up in this mess. @gattaca twitter.com/TripwireInc/st…

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I don’t see myself so much as a pop singer but as a performance artist of FFS piss off and curate a Vivid festival or something.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

Mind you, the fact that I could immediately recognise them as Laurie Anderson covers is an immediate source of shame.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

Jesus Christ. In the Devonshire St subway there’s an earnest woman with a ukulele and her mate on a toy drum playing Laurie Anderson covers.

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@itamer @itamer Oh the offers to make good profits I’ve had when I tell people we can buy codeine without a prescription…

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@aimee_maree Someone did explain it to me one time, and I remember it sounding halfway reasonable, but I forget what it was.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to aimee_maree

OH, woman on her phone: “I don’t care, I just want something with pseudoephedrine in it!” I hear ya, girl.

via Tweetbot for iΟS

Oh BTW, “topping up online” isn’t a gay thing. At least in this instance.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

Reluctantly buying more credit through a booth staffed by someone with more compassion.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

Station staff, seeing my frustration: “Did you top up online?”
Me: “Yes.”
SA: “Oooooh.” [Walks away, shaking head at my foolishness]

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

WAITING FOR THE OPAL CARD READER TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT HAS ENOUGH MONEY FFS.

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@Zedsupremus @Asher_Wolf The pew pew cyber maps look like that because they’re designed to impress customers and in..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…0U

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Carousel 2, in case anyone’s interested.

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Startup founders aren’t “interesting”, they just tell people they are, and their posse of sycophants choose not to correct them.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

Transmitters off. See you in Sydney.

via Tweetbot for iΟS

@haruki_zaemon Cabin crew generally approve of this strategy when I explain it.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to haruki_zaemon

I will not get too drunk on the aircraft.

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Even then there’s no need to rush, because there’s always that one argumentative cunt who’s challenged by consecutive numbers.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

One key feature of my last-row seating strategy is that I can sit and watch all these arsehats lined up, then stroll in when they’re done.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

losdrogas Wow describes me perfectly pic.twitter.com/pxP8QlhDrI

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:43 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@bradsprigg It’s not mine, but I know whose it is. Not sure if I can reveal the secret sauce.

via TweetDeck in reply to bradsprigg

@dfpiii That’s quite the complicated metaphor.

via TweetDeck in reply to dfpiii

@awelder “Happy to”? They’d insist on it.

via TweetDeck in reply to awelder

@skwashd It wasn’t “a line”. It was reality.

via TweetDeck in reply to skwashd

wintnation Congratulations Colin, you will be my slave.

via wintnation (retweeted on 5:33 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Is it just me, or is this bot getting more excellent every day? twitter.com/wintnation/sta…

via TweetDeck

wintnation Thanks for being White

via wintnation (retweeted on 5:30 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Yeah, but resource companies, say, would never be as unethical as rogue oceanographers…twitter.com/i/web/status/8…0L

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@Asher_Wolf You should never assume these things. It’s impossible to keep up. Thanks!

via TweetDeck in reply to Asher_Wolf

Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Data retention’s value for money still not proven: Criminologist” zdnet.com/article/data-r…

via TweetDeck

@VirginAustralia An aircraft just pulled up at OOL gate 3. People are emerging. I approve of this activity.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@joshgnosis @BuzzFeedOz @FarrellPF I ran into Mr Farrell last week. He is, as Australians say, stoked.

via TweetDeck in reply to joshgnosis

New funding model for deep-sea oceanography:
1. Hijack aircraft.
2. Crash aircraft in deep-ocean are.
3. Destroy ev..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…kh

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@joshgnosis @BuzzFeedOz Oops. I knew that. Is that cooler or not cooler? :) Either way, congratulations. You and @FarrellPF are great gets.

via TweetDeck in reply to joshgnosis

See folks, THIS is why @joshgnosis is the new political editor for @BuzzFeedOz. twitter.com/joshgnosis/sta…

via TweetDeck

@VirginAustralia Meh. It’s worth a shot. Having been guested into @VirginAustralia’s OOL lounge before, I can say that it’s not bad at all.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@VirginAustralia Oh. Does OOL have power outlets somewhere? Apart from the lounges, that is? (Or does..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…SC

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@corduroy It is an international airport over there [points] but I’m not in that bit.

via TweetDeck in reply to corduroy

@SnarkyPlatypus Yeah, but at least you’re not the gonorrhoea, stuck forever with the annoying self-loathing gay.

via TweetDeck in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

I don’t think VA536 has ever been on time for me. That’s not @VirginAustralia’s, it’s always the weather. Fate is hilarious.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Yes, @06eleven. Also, an announcement just added a further 20 minutes to the flight delay. twitter.com/06eleven/statu…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Airport Security: “G’day. How are you today?”
Me: “Not bad for a Friday. No wait, I guess bad for a Thursday then.”
AS: “It’s Wednesday.”

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AngeMaryClaire OMG you can even buy Baby Boomers tears??? I’ve been sourcing my own!!!1 twitter.com/Inc/status/887…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:51 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

BREAKING: Richard Gere is still a sex symbol. (Source: TVC for New Idea.)

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Story filed for @zdnetaustralia. It contains liberty and a lynchpin.

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@chrisrauchle I know that @VirginAustralia has many fine attributes, but invisible pilots is not one of them.

via TweetDeck in reply to chrisrauchle

This is widely considered to be an advantage to aerial navigation, yes. twitter.com/arcadiagt5/sta…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

It appears that my flight has been delayed. pic.twitter.com/KxJJyIeq7f

via Twitter for iPhone

workingdogprod Malcolm Turnbull​ announced a new umbrella security agency. Where have we heard that before? pic.twitter.com/wR47fL1iwM

via Twitter Ads (retweeted on 3:24 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

@y011 @nphair It’s quicker to piss on the sign. Or so I’m told.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to y011

PSyvret Just learned of the new Peter Dutton sobriquet: J. Edgar Tuber. 🤣🤣🤣

Whoever dreamed that up deserves a knighthood.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:40 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Ah, the Gold Coast! The cafe has a gas heater running near my table. It’s a 20C day.

via Tweetbot for iΟS

And just for the record, I’ve never played Call of Duty.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Yep. The caste of privileged boofhead pricks who usually turn things to shit figured out that computers don’t just..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…Fc

via TweetDeck

rpy Harbour Bridge seems smaller than I remember it @abcnews mobile.abc.net.au/news/2017-07-1… pic.twitter.com/DNJkCKjCte

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:24 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Wed plan, confirmed: Story pitches (partly done); write for @zdnetaustralia, from Sunny Queensland; 1705 VA536 OOL-SYD; dinner; collapse.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

umairh If only there was some other way out of this dilemma twitter.com/cnn/status/887…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:20 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Founding Fathers: “We are the light of the world!”
US Citizens: “We are! Let’s put the steak guy from TV in charge!”

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

HAHAHAHA. Let’s not even bother trying to be subtle any more, eh America? What a pathetic little tinpot-republic en..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…ep

via TweetDeck

ShaneBryan_Aus @stilgherrian Is Turnbull like a comic book villain that subconsciously creates his own demise? You wouldn’t put Du..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…Fr

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:09 PM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@voltagex @lukehopewell Exactly. It’s that blend of emotions. “You cunts. I wish I’d thought of that.”

via TweetDeck in reply to voltagex

@marcuskelson @lukehopewell We should at least follow the example of the pinnacles of journalistic ethics, namely the food bloggers.

via TweetDeck in reply to marcuskelson

@lukehopewell Hey, even former ASIO boss David Irvine gave a begrudging hats-off to “whoever” did the US OPM hack.

via TweetDeck in reply to lukehopewell

@marcuskelson @lukehopewell Advertorial is fine. Just effing well declare it.

via TweetDeck in reply to marcuskelson

Mate, the man can’t count to seven without taking off one of his socks. twitter.com/ABCthedrum/sta…

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@lukehopewell Hey it’s like so many of the cybercrime ops I hear about. 1. That’s clever indeed, hats off. 2. No. W..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…DP

via TweetDeck in reply to lukehopewell

peterwsinger “Like a candle in the wind…”

A makeshift memorial has been created on the charging pad of Steve, the suicidal ro..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…dZ

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:53 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@lukehopewell For sure. If anyone’s going to pull this stunt it’s the editor.

via TweetDeck in reply to lukehopewell

@lukehopewell Or rather, whether they present themselves as intending to commit an act of journalism.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

@lukehopewell Fair point. I guess, then, that the question is whether they were or were not intending to commit an act of journalism.

via TweetDeck in reply to lukehopewell

1. @lukehopewell is “unsure”, but it’s an undisclosed potential conflict of interest.
2. I’d probably get more retweets with fewer cunts.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Hah! OK, own up. Which of you cunts did this? Pick up your papers, go to the back of the queue, and start again. twitter.com/lukehopewell/s…

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GreenJ be kinda awkward if this thing unravels twitter.com/SkyNewsAust/st…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:40 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@SnarkyPlatypus They can be better than that? But the whole email thing, IT NEVER HAPPENED.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to SnarkyPlatypus

Hey kids! Remember, if you cut down on the avocados and get a proper job then you too could retire to Broadbeach and shuffle the sunny mall.

via Tweetbot for iΟS

That’s the quality level of the hallucinations I have right there. Sending an email. Rock on. Those Berocca tablets are rubbish.

via Tweetbot for iΟS in reply to stilgherrian

That thing where the email you sent yesterday you didn’t actually send.

via Tweetbot for iΟS

GeorgeNegus Well done Peter Dutton, strange former Qld cop, now Australia’s first official “Minister for Scaring the Shit Out of Everybody on Anything!”

via Twitter Lite (retweeted on 11:11 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via Tweetbot for iΟS)

Just been backgrounded on current accommodation-based fraud. Motel owned by a ex-cop and his wife.

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Yeah but like what would George Negus even know about politics. twitter.com/GeorgeNegus/st…

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Australia should get me to write the Citizenship Test.

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dobes Please make this standard twitter.com/phabricator/st…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:28 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Apropos no speculation about political ambitions whatsoever today, remember the minister who can’t do percentages? dailytelegraph.com.au/news/opinion/s…

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wintnation id say my most defining quality is that i was seen drinking out of a bird bath

via wintnation (retweeted on 8:31 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

spookperson computer, show me the worst sentence possible pic.twitter.com/hQDyc77Hz2

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:27 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@scottamcintyre @MsLods That should be “shares IN snake oil wells” obviously.

via TweetDeck in reply to scottamcintyre

NewtonMark I wonder how long it’ll take for the AFP and ASIO to have the same exodus of disgruntled nonmilitarized staff as Borderforce?

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:26 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

NewtonMark All that time AFP officers would have spent giggling at Borderforce colleagues in their fancy uniforms with shiny medals, and now…?

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:24 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@MsLods @scottamcintyre Shares is snake oil wells are running at an all-time high.

via TweetDeck in reply to MsLods

havi OH at cafe: “He’s a narcissist, a misogynist, an actual danger”, and just assumed it was about the president. It wasn’t.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:23 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

@scottamcintyre @MsLods HAHAHAHA. Really? Have you ever met any of those people? They are awful.

via TweetDeck in reply to scottamcintyre

cosmicjester But if the greens are dopey then how shit do our political press pack look that after ten years not a single journo picked up on it?

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:15 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Wed plan, draft: Story pitches; write for @zdnetaustralia, maybe twice, from Sunny Queensland; 1750 VA536 OOL-SYD; dinner; collapse

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wintnation She also has a unique business that involves training people how to behave from your morally superior soapbox

via wintnation (retweeted on 8:10 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

Ah, the stories I could tell…

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

“Take without water” is true, though. You should take them with vodka. But first, throw away the vodka and use kerosene.

via TweetDeck in reply to stilgherrian

Folks, I have a tip for you. These things? Do not ever. They taste like a hamster shat in your mouth. pic.twitter.com/OSFD9HxrOP

via Twitter for iPhone

alexpiletska Enough. This Brexit charade has gone on long enough. Let’s now return to the world where 16 year olds don’t hang th..twitter.com/i/web/status/8…MF

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:45 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

jasewatson “Kapersky sits at about 30% on the McAfometer”

“That’s right, you never go full McAfee”

Nice Tropic Thunder nod gents! 😂

@riskybusiness

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:45 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

wintnation The loss in Shanghai actually had more to do with the Liberals, let Barnaby know.

via wintnation (retweeted on 7:43 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via TweetDeck)

I had this really, really bad dream last night. Then I woke up on the Gold Coast.

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Australia could finally have its first prime minister who can’t do adding up and long words and shit.

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This is going to be hilarious.

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joshgnosis It has begun. twitter.com/KJBar/status/8…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 7:35 AM, Jul 19th, 2017 via Twitter Web Client)

I see that my last tweet yesterday was one of those Timeless Tweet things. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…

via TweetDeck

Wednesday. It is worse than you could possibly imagine. Not because it is bad, but because you are stupid. Wednesday.

via TweetDeck