Going away now.
Or you could just eat the damn chips. twitter.com/ThingsCutInHaI…
HAHAHAHAHA. twitter.com/CaseyBriggs/st…

JoshButler Labor tried to change the name of the tax bill, lost, then voted for it. What a ride. pic.twitter.com/mWtYbm39mz
TheShovel Scott Morrison Begins New Parliament By Acknowledging Traditional Owners News Corp And Coal Lobby
My life, summarised. twitter.com/petstarr/statu…
Definitely shutting up now.
If you don’t have time for your kids, sell them. Your delicate, straight-teethed little naifs would fetch a good pr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…d2
I’ll shut up now. No further correspondence will be entered into. Just phone talkback radio and have a sook.
Dear Parents, the fact that YOU don’t understand “social media”, and you’re frightened of it, isn’t social media’s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Dq
From here on, you can insert my standard rant about over-protected little petals and paranoid parents. I’m sick of it myself.
These days, of course, any parent who doesn’t collect their precious little darling from school in a luxury truck i..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…yG
Blaming “social media” (whatever that is) for teenager misbehaviour is as ludicrous as blaming the railways for bei..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ZG
Therefore they project. It’s not MY fault that my children have turned out so badly. It’s the school. It’s the bad..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ja
So complaining that their children behave badly is basically middle-class parents whinging about having paid for a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gD
The burgeoning upper middle classes didn’t have time for their children, of course, so they paid to shunt them off..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…w4
As an aside, the current industrial-age school system was designed to create workers with a standardised base level..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…e2
Then there’s this point. I’m not a parent myself, but I got the clear impression that the actual job is to prepare..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…dm
Exactly, @NewtonMark. Why a professional in the communication business isn’t across this stuff, though, that’s what..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ig
@vealmince Yeah I know, this is actually quite an appealing scenario.
Jeremy_Hunt On the way to Belfast. Boris out of sight in the back of the plane. 4 armed police officers between us just in case..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Y7
asunderland Would you like to help draft a code of practice for modern journalism? I need your ideas and suggestions…
fourthestate.org/news/how-shoul…
I would like to thank autocorrect for helping me community between.
@max_au Great callback by the way.
Another excellent callback. twitter.com/PeteLawler/sta…
@max_au “Affordability and choice” is such a wonderful phrase. You can have one or the other.
God help us! The existential threat of “crude language”! It’s difficult to imagined a more bleakly middle-class han..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0x
Of course there was this suggestion earlier too. Spot checks on people’s communications to make sure they conformed..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…BE
For those who missed the reference, one of Australia’s top journalists wants to prevent people communicating. Liter..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0M
For properly raised children, top journalists recommend Miss Alberici’s Finishing School for Nice Children, where e..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…A2
“Branson, Pearce, and Bodhi.” twitter.com/11Kstew70/stat…
How does this work? You’re either for it or against it. Stop pissing about, @AlboMP. twitter.com/SkyNewsAust/st…
@JustJimWillDo Surely you jest.
stilgherrian Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Lack of focus on security of Australia’s critical infrastructure: @ASPI_ICPC”..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zJ
stilgherrian How would you tell? twitter.com/KetanJ0/status…
@viveka Oops this was meant for @SnarkyPlatypus. I must’ve slipped.
@jpwarren I think they’re sweet.
@jxeeno How excitement!
kcarruthers Brexit- the gift 🎁 that keeps giving twitter.com/guardian/statu…

sicksadhack imagine being this bloke. pic.twitter.com/tr5u5iplKL
Tony Abbott’s posture is always so beautiful. twitter.com/ellinghausen/s…
“It’s not a new tax, it’s a special levy.”
@Matt_Phipps I knew what you were doing there without having to look it up. You are terrible.
Also, you’re going to find it hard to “balance industry economics with affordability and choice” without “levying a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9p
@GordyPls Outrage is almost always a funnel, with an optional broom handle.
@GordyPls In a modern business, everything is a funnel.
@PWB_inAus @NBN_Australia Oh yes, take them seriously, not me.
Whenever someone tries to tell you “It’s not about X”, check your wallet and keys.
Note how this tweet is a framing device. It’s to tell you what the conversation is “about”, to rule and out certain..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…v1
@PWB_inAus You’re taking this way too seriously.
@martinwalsh I’m not wasting rage on this because it’s a thing that’s never going to happen, because in fact yes it’s daft.

Maybe NBN Co could force a person with a red flag to walk in front of every video stream as a warning. pic.twitter.com/7Qzd9LKHoL
Still, the NBN is kinda self rate limiting, so no need to do anything! :)
Or, just rate limit every TCP connection once it’s sent more than 5MB. That should be plenty for everyone.
@moylecroft I think your gripe should be directed at NBN Co, not me. I’m just trying to help.
@ip1 Charge for VPN traffic too. Fixed. :)
JordanEliseo @Colgo It is surely uniquely Australian that there is even a category called “generally harmless” in relation to sharks.
@moylecroft Meh. That can be changed.
With the eventual cancellation of the invasion, the sea lions were put in storage pending the invention of social m..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…i8
You might miss a few minor services, but meh. Also, it was just an item in a discussion paper. It’s not like this i..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…vY
We’re going to see a bunch of this weird paranoia like this. You don’t need to do deep packet inspection to charge..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Z3
annafifield And here it is: Kim Jong Un’s propaganda victory, in full color across the first three pages of Rodong Sinmun. Look..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…dL
Now’s your chance, Kids. twitter.com/CosmicRami/sta…
AOC There are 20,000 TOTAL Customs & Border Patrol agents in the US.
9,500 - almost HALF that number - are in a racist..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Q8
@soundofsam @dobes That’s a guess though.
@soundofsam @dobes It seems to be a mix of the higher frequencies, the massively greater numbers, and a complete mi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…6o

hughriminton Tell me Master, what is happiness? pic.twitter.com/VhXrDeNQk9
@PollHereford Dunno. I’ve never had any.

A good manure spreader is an excellent thing. pic.twitter.com/yjGHatOg6D
@GreenJ It was totally worth it. I’ll throw something into the pot once my paymasters loose their whatsits.
@GreenJ It’s not as good as a 12yo single malt.
“It doesn’t cost anything to use.” twitter.com/InkstoneNews/s…

And here’s a photograph. pic.twitter.com/0rGtbLzr2Y
It appears that Ms Albericie’s Modest Proposal will be spread more widely, as if from an ungoverned manure spreader. twitter.com/rgloveroz/stat…
clementine_ford I heard a terrible story this morning about a wee little first grader boy who suddenly stopped asking to bring stra..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9T
@voltagex @trentyarwood Yeah cryptosporidium is awesome!

jrhennessy thinking about this John Carpenter interview again pic.twitter.com/fL4kvasXb1
@SnarkyPlatypus @maddythecatlady Wait, is this about KAK?
joshgnosis So still going on that cruise with 2GB listeners but leaving the station right after.
So Alan Partridge it hurts. twitter.com/2GB873/status/…
@SnarkyPlatypus Their children! FRONTLINE: THE NEXT GENERATION.
@viveka Brooke totally fuckin’ over it and doing lines straight off the coffee table.
@viveka The month is but young, Gentle Viveka.
@SnarkyPlatypus The faux chemistry would be wonderful to behold.
David_Speers I’ll be talking to @AlboMP at 4pm on @SkyNewsAust
How would you tell? twitter.com/KetanJ0/status…
Pinboard Not going to lie; as a lover of political kitsch, Trump’s July 4 parade is going to be 🌶💥🔥. Looking forward to Chri..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…V7
Pinboard Condolences to anyone coming out of a coma to learn that President Trump is ordering tanks into the streets of Wash..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…hM
Me at @zdnetaustralia: “Lack of focus on security of Australia’s critical infrastructure: @ASPI_ICPC”..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zJ
@derekbradley @SnarkyPlatypus @_midofo_ I’m more your flat white or, when feeling flat, a double-shot little thingy..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…kT
@SnarkyPlatypus @_midofo_ I may be white but I’m not middle-class I don’t think. Despite the school I went to. And..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…PI
Also, the assumption that it’s always OTHER PEOPLE’S kids who are the bad influence. Heh.
Parents who think they “know all their teenagers’ friends” are living in cloud cuckoo land.
@dobes @jonkudelka That sounds like an architectural feature. “The cathedral was designed with a spire and six traditional fistals.”
@jonkudelka Yes… yes we’re all getting older…
glengyron OK. It’s not so much about culture. This guy is actually just a cunt. twitter.com/raulpacheco/st…
@jonkudelka Mate, my fiscals are quite fine, and I have the appropriate number.
@WineoftheBean @dobes This is fabulous. “Don’t worry: if you think that the 5G rollout is pure evil, you are not a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1S
@SnarkyPlatypus Well not if it smells of mint, no.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. twitter.com/BIAUS/status/1…
@SnarkyPlatypus Your piss will smell like old toothpaste!
@rgmerk @NewtonMark @SnarkyPlatypus @dobes Unless the Pacific Fleet figures out how to drive ships without crashing them into things.
@rgmerk @NewtonMark @SnarkyPlatypus @dobes Or they keep going as they are and once they’re crashed all their ships it’s game over.
@oberonsghost Yeah I looked at that and very quickly ruled it it, numbered limited edition notwithstanding.
This is correct on all counts. Please go to stilgherrian.com/tip/ and bring shame upon yourself. twitter.com/trentyarwood/s…
@R_Chirgwin @purserj @dobes @DDsD They’re down a the valley though, usually, doing their tactical flying.
@expectproblems Well it’s a particularly terrible joke.
@DavidFeng One can only hope.
@MichaelH_PhD @SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark @dobes @JohnQuiggin That’s beautiful.
@trentyarwood @dobes @R_Chirgwin I have so, so many questions for them.
@soundofsam @dobes Stupidity?
@expectproblems E L I S S A !
Thing filed for @zdnetaustralia. It contains a return to the dark ages.

@dobes Do you want me to interview No 5G in the Blue Mountains? no5gbluemountains.org pic.twitter.com/pS51C61y7h
@esseeeayeenn @DDsD Fear not, I know what I’m doing.
Coffee consumed, writing commenced. Quiet please.
@SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark @dobes Well I certainly recognise the Yellow Peril thing when I see it. :) It’s an old party favourite.
@SnarkyPlatypus @purserj It’s called “ironic understatement”, I think.
@NewtonMark @SnarkyPlatypus @dobes Just a few orbital lasers would do the job. If they were BIG LASERS.
@SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark @dobes Maybe. You never know, do you.
Less we forget. twitter.com/bitcoin_txt/st…
SixthTone “When it comes to sorting trash, 20- to 35-year-olds are the least cooperative, and they don’t do a good job.”
Wit..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tR
OFalafel Username: Dangerzone
Password: F00tLoo$e
Kenny’s Logins
@johnb78 I want to make a joke about it still being a negative place…
1. Made entirely of carrot sticks.
2. Powered by three men with hand cranks.
3. Is affectionately known as The Big..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…HS
@NewtonMark @SnarkyPlatypus @dobes You are all raising so many solid arguments against White’s proposal. Maybe he’s gone a bit funny.
@R_Chirgwin @dobes @purserj @SnarkyPlatypus Yes, nukes were mentioned in the review I tweeted. :) MOAR NUKES.
@purserj @dobes @SnarkyPlatypus I propose instead the Milsons Point Line.
Coffee, then writing.
@misosusanowa It’s a global phenomenon, or was. Well, in mostly-Christian countries anyway.
GIANT CRABS! twitter.com/RayRedacted/st…
wolfcat Adults: we should spot check children’s social media accounts so they are conforming to an ethos.
Also Adults: You..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…yP
@erstkate @jonkudelka @jpwarren We all do, Kate. Especially after that.
@SnarkyPlatypus @dobes The reviewer is Sam Roggeveen, and he seems to have a credible track record in these matters..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eN
I like the concept of packet-molesting. twitter.com/efa_oz/status/…
efa_oz “If I send NBN Co a packet, I kind of expect them to carry it unmolested to my consumer,” said @bigjsl, a former CT..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…E2
@SnarkyPlatypus @dobes I’d certainly like to see if there’s an argument for that kind of threat in the book. The re..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…qs
@jonkudelka @jpwarren Maybe a diptych is called for.
ImpPoster Only five months until millennials start turning 40.
@SnarkyPlatypus @dobes Well here’s the critique in this review. (It’s a bit previous to call it a “dumb book” if yo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…uX
@dobes @SnarkyPlatypus These are questions I might be able to put to White.
@misosusanowa We can never rest until Godzilla is detected.

Wow. Hugh White is on a roll here. Ping @dobes @SnarkyPlatypus. pic.twitter.com/oUl7ByjQQn
I’m going to the @LowyInstitute event with Hugh White in Sydney on 16 July, which should be fun. myaccount.lowyinstitute.org/events/2019-ho…
“Book review: Hugh White’s ‘How to Defend Australia’” lowyinstitute.org/the-interprete…
“This quietly radical book calls on..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…t0
@jonkudelka This rude painting has floppy bits! How rude!
Ms Beckett obviously hasn’t read the @australian, where smearing opponents real and imagined is par for the course. twitter.com/loisbeckett/st…
This contrasts with my previous household ethos of having dirty, wet underpants.
I have now hung out the laundry, which confirms with my household ethos of having clean, dry underpants.
@DDsD I would be more than happy to run the surveillance state, because I would rid my life of a great deal of both..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tk
@erstkate Exactly.
dannolan I think the state should be allowed to go through journalists social media to make sure it’s complying with the sta..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…vR
This is like when old farts complain to the _school_ about kids misbehaving on the train. FSS, it’s the parents’ fa..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…pr
I HAVE GONE 0FF HALF-COCKED, SORRY. This wasn’t even to “protect the children” but enforce the “school ethos”. Whic..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…9i
Our “school ethos” seemed to be a mix of hypocrisy, emotional repression, white supremacy, and punching out the Cat..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…KR
@dobes @rohan_p @joshgnosis @swearyanthony Greeks would never shitpost. Right, @oberonsghost?
OK, time to hang out the laundry and then get writing for @zdnetaustralia, probably. Because they might be doing sp..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…6c
@dobes @joshgnosis @swearyanthony @rohan_p I can’t immediately find that article, but here’s a more modern water-co..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4t
@dobes @joshgnosis @swearyanthony @rohan_p A gate was a jet of water that could be flipped to flow one way or the o..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…PV
@dobes @joshgnosis @swearyanthony @rohan_p I read an article years back saying that ancient Mediterranean cultures..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gd
Seriously, whenever you suggest something aimed at “protecting the children”, substitute the word “people”, and ima..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Lk
Seriously, whenever you suggest something aimed at “protecting the children”, substitute the word “people”, and ima..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…DC
It’s for “protecting the children”, of course. But adults need protection too, from… oh, something… let’s just..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sf
@rohan_p @swearyanthony @dobes @joshgnosis Eternal Kickstarter Tweet!
Of course, let’s just eavesdrop on everyone’s private conversations. Bugs in the toilet cubicles. Shotgun mics on t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…iQ
@dobes @joshgnosis @swearyanthony @rohan_p What about MONIAC, the hydraulic money computer from New Zealand? youtube.com/watch?v=rAZavO…
There’s quite a lot of faffing about in these proceedings. Some lame excuse like having to conform to the legal req..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…i5
@joshgnosis @swearyanthony @dobes @rohan_p I’ve read it. The idea came to him in a dream, apparently. And also, it is of course impossible.
AmyRemeikis That’s exactly what they want you to think twitter.com/Reuters/status…
@erstkate @AboutTheHouse Insertion of the Black Rod, knobbly end first.

Is this sad, or what? pic.twitter.com/Xl5lhG9JdN
I notice that the Honourable Members are incapable of Shutting the Fuck Up, @AboutTheHouse. They must be punished.
This is very good. You should read it. twitter.com/SatPaper/statu…
It begins. Program at parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/searc…. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
RodLurie It is now one year since my son Hunter Lurie passed way from a blood clot. He was just twenty-seven years old and a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ec
@zdnetaustralia Tue plan, reconsidered: Fried rice (eaten); fix data backups (done); laundry (in progress); watch t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…A5
Timeless tweet. twitter.com/erstkate/statu…
The Opening of Parliament is coming up shortly at 1030 AEST. You can watch it at aph.gov.au/Watch_Read_Lis….
@purserj @PeteLawler If not, there soon will be.
@PeteLawler I’m not going to respond to your tweet because I don’t want to jinx it.
Sigh.
Also, encrypt your backups. Also, store the encryption key somewhere encrypted, like your password manager, and put..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…hr
What even is a GUID and a list?
Oh brilliant. Apple’s Time Machine preferences panel doesn’t show a backup disk as encrypted unless it’s mounted. I..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Xx
glengyron Good, the LDR thing never works. twitter.com/SBSNews/status…

Apparently there’s a business called HASHTAG BURGERS and now I weep for my species. pic.twitter.com/HN8SfYvIVq
il_beavo Torpedo rams are the unicorns of naval warfare. Fight me.

Plane of Specialness™. pic.twitter.com/DpImKLHqV3
ConversationUK To the moon and beyond is a series from our international network, featuring space scientists from different contin..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zP
ConversationUK We’re launching our new series: to the moon and beyond.
Delving into the last 50 years of space exploration and th..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…m2
@reselsnark @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus Erm, they are?
SnarkyPlatypus Hi people the ABC is centrist as fuck nowadays and anybody who still thinks they are full of leftists are morons
@jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus That’s true, but then the Conjoined Triangles are an important insight.
Today’s @7ampodcast “Mine on the moon” has the disturbing soundbite from a space startup, “We choose to go to the M..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4o
@RealNickHodge @LowyInstitute Or changed its name to Sooklavia?

decentbirthday The owner of my AirBnB has a dog named Kevin. His human-sounding name terrified me at first. pic.twitter.com/8CrUV1hMOp
@LowyInstitute A very big sook.
I’m a bit confused by @LowyInstitute using SK for South Korea, when in ISO 3166-1 alpha-2 it’s KR, and SK is for Sl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…pA
@simonjulian That seems like a sensible strategy.
@jpwarren Also relevant for @SnarkyPlatypus.

A reminder, @jpwarren, that the Lowy Institute Asia Power Index has an “Octagon of Power”. power.lowyinstitute.org pic.twitter.com/A5ryzRCTa2
Tue plan, draft: Fried rice; write for @zdnetaustralia; laundry; watch the opening of Parliament; sort out all my n..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Uv
TheTattooedProf This. Is. Slavery.
Call. It. What. It. Is. twitter.com/CivilEats/stat…
LewSOS I will vote for anyone who campaigns on a law outlawing the use of cute propagandistic legislation titles, on condi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…lM

In the Blue Mountains, I may even be able to get the laundry done today. pic.twitter.com/JUp4TgHHKy
darth in san francisco for $3,100 you only get the old-ass bathtub
someone else lives in the apartment u just get the ol..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sZ
The only other legislative business on the House program is this Agriculture Legislation Repeal Bill 2019 but I don..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…5C
The Senate chamber documents aren’t up yet, but I’m assuming they won’t be up until this afternoon because this mor..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Yp

Still, we did have this, the Senate Select Committee into Fair Dinkum Power. pic.twitter.com/zsoaZpnRrj
At least this Excellent New Law™ has an Excellent New Name™. Behold, the Treasury Laws Amendment (Tax Relief So Wor..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…UO
Today is the first sitting of the new Parliament here in Australia. I’m so looking forward to some Excellent New Laws™.
@DavidFeng This could well happen one day.
I’m generally not to blame for the things I’m accused of, but I’ll wear this one. twitter.com/trib/status/11…
@DavidFeng Obviously this is a huge celebration here in Australia.
nitya We have now created an auto-tune for speechwriting 😱
Makes bad ideas and uneducated opinions *sound* like viable d..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xg
fightfortheftr This is why mass surveillance and data collection is so dangerous.
Even if you trust police and governments with y..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…OP
This makes me so happy. twitter.com/iTnews_au/stat…
stilgherrian My impression is that Caleb is the reincarnation of Gerard.
Tuesday. An army of geese, a navy of buffalo. Tuesday.