@melissamadsen @trentyarwood Goodness me.

uhoelzle Just saying. pic.twitter.com/tzEv9JmWuI
This would be a challenging job. The trickiest digital skill in Australian cricket is the sleight of hand with the..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Mv
This is rather @jpwarren-worthy. twitter.com/managerspeak/s…
“The untold story of when Donald Trump met Boris Johnson” by @firstdogonmoon theguardian.com/commentisfree/…
ArfMeasures Wife *crying and pointing at ultrasound* omg omg that’s the best thing I have ever seen!
Me *softly clasps her han..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ae
@esseeeayeenn I’m liking the use of the word “lure”.
SuperCroup Indeed. Who the hell would fuck a Brit for the sake of the sex? twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
New @JonathanPieNews: “Boris’s Britain” youtube.com/watch?v=TUx3Uj…
DEAR BRITISH: “Be warned: Your summer hookup could be using you for your air conditioning” metro.co.uk/2019/07/25/war…

JosieLong The saddest part of this is that they didn’t actually fire this cunt into the sun. It’s photoshopped. pic.twitter.com/ZRag41rKbx
@kcollasarundell @irisherself Ah yes, I think @dobes @purserj and I have seen this bin-opening jerkbird before. Beautiful work.

A fine headline from today’s @crikey_news. pic.twitter.com/cMFBPtKQ4T
@trentyarwood Fair call. People, eh?
SURPRISE WALNUT.

markhumphries A Government Minister’s tips for living on Newstart.
pic.twitter.com/zTaiJrn7Sw

OzKitsch Fine example of street art pic.twitter.com/ApwVKOaQ5X
@baxters @ashabeeeee Sorry, what? Are you new here?
@z3dster @kenchengcomedy God I love Twitter. :)
Didn’t the Tories just vote one in? twitter.com/GuidoFawkes/st…
@kenchengcomedy Um, and here’s part 3 of 2, or something. twitter.com/purserj/status…
@ashabeeeee This is of course a @jpwarren @NewtonMark area.
“NAB admits it shared personal info on 13,000 customers with two external parties” by @ashabeeeee zdnet.com/article/nab-ad…
Part 2 of 2, a Modest Proposal from @kenchengcomedy. twitter.com/kenchengcomedy…
Part 1 of 2: “Doctors in UK Forced to Tell Women Not to Put Ice Lollies in Their Vaginas to Cool Down” summit.news/2019/07/25/doc…
@MichaelWestBiz @NewtonMark @SnarkyPlatypus @dobes Hey, it’s an accurate caption. ;) Great yarn, btw.
“Mayday: two shadowy Chinese corporations behind Virgin’s plan to control Australian airbase” by @MichaelWestBiz..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…F1
Bonus points for “patrons at the Hinch’s New Liver Inn on Alambie Road in South Betoota”.
“New Study Attempts To Understand What Type Of Human Drinks Southern Comfort” betootaadvocate.com/humans-of-beto…
dobes Claps for @NAB. Taking out the trash like pros.
They’ve had a data breach from uploading customer details somewhere they shouldn’t.
ficklenuts @forwardnotback @CHIMPSINSOCKS Disgusting! I can’t believe they would allow that fabric choice for a seat, even on public transit!
@thijstriemstra @thelaughingsub I know @thelaughingsub, a colleague, and I was “congratulating” her for being able..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…cm
@thijstriemstra @thelaughingsub Think about your first sentence there.
@manindotblack @dobes Hahahaha! There’s a crimson jerkbird at @bunjaree that does that to me through the window. No..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Vg
@expectproblems I always knew you had goth tendencies but your transformation was more intense that I’d imagined. So to speak.
@JosieLong It’ll be in the last place you look.
All Health Patrol missions for today have been accomplished. The weekend may begin.
@expectproblems Fair point. Some of that subtle “natural” shading must take ages.
@dobes @gathgwyn Also you should read this thread. Also it’s still 20 minutes until dinner time. twitter.com/Pinboard/statu…
KeithConlon #OnThisDay 99 years ago, a pungent prophecy by American journalist and critic H L Mencken :
‘On some great and glor..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Bl
Meanwhile, @dobes @purserj, in today’s jerkbird news: “Cockatoo Meows Like a Cat” youtube.com/watch?v=B-eeNv…
@larz Yes. Or raw rice.
PollBludger Peak New Statesman twitter.com/NewStatesman/s…
@dobes @roweafr Oops, so it is. I was confused by the shoes. Shoes can be so very confusing at times.
@jonkudelka That’s a lot of words. More like another cartoonist might write.

@dobes @roweafr The Boris Johnson ‘toons are also very good. pic.twitter.com/PDQKnratQm

@dobes @roweafr And I’d missed this one. pic.twitter.com/Awnasw675K

@dobes @roweafr Also… ewww! pic.twitter.com/srBVfm00UR

Hey @dobes, Mr @roweafr has been at it again. pic.twitter.com/IndpDmURAk
@Wolfie_Rankin It’s not entirely clear to me how they persuaded the octopus into the jar to begin with.
@juhasaarinen Nah, not PR. I used to do a lot of geeky things for them and now I do only the very occasional geeky thing.
Pinboard “F. D. C. Willard (c. 1968–1982) was the pen name of a Siamese cat named Chester, who internationally published undtwitter.com/i/web/status/1…zYAt
@Wolfie_Rankin Still, you could unscrew a jar lid from the inside. youtube.com/watch?v=AG6Jeb…
@Wolfie_Rankin You would make a terrible octopus.
“Australian privacy law amendments to cover data collection and use by digital platforms” by @ashabeeeee zdnet.com/article/austra…
dobes WOAH!!! NSW taking out the trash! twitter.com/abcnews/status…
Pinboard Do not read these if you harbor feelings of inadequacy. “Fred the Undercover Kitty was a domestic shorthair who gai..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…O9
@larz I guess so. I don’t watch many of them, because at my age it could prove embarrassing.
@PeteLawler I’m pretty old-school about disclosures.

@katie18O I love some of the mods. pic.twitter.com/cYH1qyhGki
@Wolfie_Rankin The guitar? I can’t play any instrument myself, but I learned a lot about guitars along the way.
@katie18O They’re great. I’m told that a good proportion of them are bought by younger males who then customise or..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…3y
@larz Is there any particular genre of film that causes you to urinate?
REMINDER: There’s a Hello Kitty Stratocaster, and it’s glorious. Comes in pink or black.
Disclosure: Fender Austra..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zf
DID YOU KNOW? It’s Hello Kitty’s 45th birthday year! mymodernmet.com/hello-kitty-ar… There’s a commemorative hoodie but I c..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Sg
All hail Eris! twitter.com/grain_death/st…
ser_ou_parecer BBC Global News podcast had a great quote from governor Viktor Laiskodat:
“It’s called Komodo island so it will b..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…AD
@SwiftOnSecurity Do you have a newsletter?
@dobes And numbers. I like numbers. twitter.com/jpwarren/statu…
@dobes It’s the integrity that I really appreciate. twitter.com/jpwarren/statu…
@PeteLawler Exactly.
@expectproblems To be fair, you have chosen a fairly labour-intensive look. That’s a non-trivial amount of make-up…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Bc
@PeteLawler Do you want it to be?
“ACT Policing had an unauthorised metadata access party 3249 more times in 2015” by @dobes zdnet.com/article/act-po… Party on, Dudes!
Deploy the water cannon on the lot of them, I say.
This sounds a MUCH better program than that annoying-as-fuck Queer Eye. twitter.com/drmnolan/statu…
billbirtles I suspect the brownie points Aus-based Chinese diplomats earn back in Beijing for publicly appearing nationalistic..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…NY

john_self A crowdfunder has invented the hip flask pic.twitter.com/SoFljKfZId
Next Health Patrol task is at Ashfield some time after 1700. And then we’re done for the week.
@Cantbeeffed Ah yes well then he’s most unsuitable.
Health Patrol mission in Kings Cross accomplished.
Passing the Hill of Dead Pets.
@Cantbeeffed Are we all feeling a bit old today?
@thelaughingsub It’s a work of beauty.
@Cantbeeffed Lulwut?
@RealNickHodge Yes, Petal, I got the joke.
This is @thelaughingsub’s greatest career highlight to date. twitter.com/thelaughingsub…
thelaughingsub Fully updated and corrected version of the McAfee jail photoshoot story cnet.co/32QVtWh
@RealNickHodge Why are so many people telling me about this?
@citation_needed @davispg In Haymarket android any time you like
@jeamland Already there, @jeamland. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
We should probably consider this photo with some care. twitter.com/officialmcafee…
@stufromoz @glengyron @SuperCroup @DrRhysPockett @wobster Did you read the linked-to article?
@dobes @josh_m @GordyPls @NewtonMark Now there’s a phrase you probably didn’t expect to type today.
@JustJimWillDo But rubbish at pouring beer.

@josh_m @GordyPls @NewtonMark I’m over here with the Shitposting Dicks. How about you, @dobes? pic.twitter.com/oKuYLiGP6q
@munin Sorry, what?
ICYMI last night… twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@PollHereford @DrRhysPockett @SuperCroup @glengyron @wobster In Italian, yes, but we’re speaking Inglese aujourd’hui.
“History of lidos in the United Kingdom” en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_o… @SuperCroup @glengyron @DrRhysPockett @oliyoung
@rohan_p Ah, I do enjoy the classics!
@glengyron @SuperCroup @DrRhysPockett @wobster Totally natural.
Birdyword Mohammed bin Salman’s plan for Saudi Arabia’s $500bn city of the future sound like the ramblings of a 8-year old wh..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Io
@CptHollingworth @expectproblems If it’s Backwards Day you have to say “YAY” backwards.
@expectproblems @CptHollingworth Really? I think you’re lion.
lemonodor H̸̜͖͓̋̉͠Ȇ̵̘̹L̸̯͎͋̆L̶͙͉̓͝O̶͉̞̿̊̾ ̶͔̮͆̇C̵̤̎̂͝H̶̦̗̗͐̅͝Ị̷̖̤̒̂L̶͖̇͜Ḑ̴̄̉̈́ ̶̟͋̾͘Ì̷͍̎ ̴̨̣̿̽̚A̶̡̱͐Ḿ̶̗̄̿ ̷̬̅Ḿ̸̰̲̺̕Á̸͇Ǔ̴͔̚..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tW
@glengyron @SuperCroup @DrRhysPockett @wobster That’s how it all started.
@DrRhysPockett @SuperCroup @glengyron @wobster I think they’re just called the nets, as in shark nets, but I didn’t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…3Q
@glengyron @SuperCroup @wobster Please read the second sentence. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lido
@DrRhysPockett @SuperCroup @glengyron @wobster I only know it from British movies about the working classes, hence..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Yh
@JustJimWillDo @SuperCroup @glengyron @wobster Jim. No.
@SuperCroup @glengyron @wobster Actually the facility is called baths, and it has a number of pools.
@SuperCroup @glengyron @wobster Enclosed saltwater things at the beach are sometimes called “baths”, like the Bondi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4t
@SuperCroup @glengyron @wobster “Swimming pool”, or just a pool. as in “It’s hot, we’re going to the pool.” Some ar..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Fh
@glengyron @SuperCroup @wobster “In British English, a lido (/ˈliːdoʊ/ LEE-doh, /ˈlaɪdoʊ/ LY-doh) is a public outdo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xa
@CptHollingworth @lawksland @gritfish Mate, have you considered the ‘elf impacts of this bold action?
@SuperCroup @glengyron @wobster It’s definitely a Northern thing.

TheKennyDevine BREAKING: “Free Tommy Robinson” march brings Sydney to standstill.
#FreeTommy pic.twitter.com/0SPzgqzirw
Serious OH&S dispute unfolding at @Pozible. twitter.com/Pozible/status…

SuperCroup Message from my dad… pic.twitter.com/gPplFIeqin
@LaLegale Exactly. I’ve thought for MANY years that being on the public service payroll shouldn’t remove your abili..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…If
@ApostrophePong You could. :) The #verythai part is everyone getting into the party and the colour and so on. Also, sanook maak.
@ApostrophePong They’re all wearing white this week because it’s Christmas in July. #verythai twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Fri plan, now that I’ve absorbed all the requirements: Health Patrol errand to Kings Cross; Health Patrol appointme..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…r0

Another lovely “winter” day in Sydney. Not as cloudy as the icons would suggest. pic.twitter.com/7wirX5calW
“Falls into line” is an interesting bit of semiotics, eh. If you don’t agree with the government you’re “out of lin..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…FL
Hahahahaha. See this, @dobes @rohan_p? twitter.com/NewtonMark/sta…
Excellent advice. @SnarkyPlatypus would approve. twitter.com/TheOnion/statu…
Now this is the news I need. twitter.com/sunriseon7/sta…
This is going to take a while.
There was beer. I remember beer.
How can it be Friday?
Friday. There was… no… don’t question me. Friday.
Gorn.

stilgherrian Spotted the other day, a remarkably clear Grindr profile. pic.twitter.com/aPJMVhKfuC
Definitely not drunk. twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
Reminder: This is an awesome deal for Facebook. $5 billion is back of the couch money, and they’re indemnified agai..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…X7
@umairh I love the idea of America but the execution is rubbish.
@umairh Well aren’t they synonyms?
They’ve been painting the apartment downstairs so I can just lay in bed and huff this shit and it’s awesome.
@umairh Look he’s obviously just stupid so let’s move on.
swearyanthony So one of my mates at work is moving to the UK in about 6 weeks - so send me your favourite recipes for squirrel an..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Nh
@chrislhayes Is there some reason you can’t use proper units of measurement or just say things once?
@Toby_Halligan Hose them down with vinegar.

missie17 This child hath murdered sleep. pic.twitter.com/eyhHjpF7Di
To be fair, he’s not that bright, but like is that an issue? twitter.com/stilgherrian/s…
@rockyr1000 Well exactly.
@techoglot Yeah they had sour worms and I am jealous.

Did I mention the new barman? pic.twitter.com/NejL3S3Cde
Passing the Hill of Dead Pets.

Trashed lads on the train. pic.twitter.com/5E6sDNQK67
@sylmobile Lick the ocean.
@swearyanthony @sylmobile You are such a cunt.
@sylmobile Good for you.
@sylmobile Eat a lizard.
@BlueJayGliding @erstkate I can understand this. So many psych drugs are labelled “avoid alcohol” I think it’s a conspiracy.
@wolfcat Shut up.
@Gwyntaglaw We live in strange and dangerous times.
@BlueJayGliding @erstkate Haha just take your drugs.

I’m on the 00.02 all stops to Ashfield. #blueandyellowtrain pic.twitter.com/gHsfjynnYs
@morebento Would’ve I ever drink gin?
It is 00.00 o’clock.