RT @JamColley: @DrYobbo Older generations would see a baboon rush and be sorted for a lifetime. You come back thirty years later, they’re s…
RT @JamColley: The speed at which we shifted from baboons on the loose to shortages of toilet paper is another example of Australia punchin…
derridalicious my “not haunted” sign has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my sign pic.twitter.com/ZjYxJSpK47
RT @kels_316: As always in this stupid, stupid nation, the best apocalypse preparation you can do is to know who the peppers are in your ne…
RT @stilgherrian: “The tersorium was shared by people using public latrines. To clean the sponge, they simply washed it in a bucket with wa…
RT @stilgherrian: DEAR AUSTRALIA: The xylospongium or tersorium, also known as sponge on a stick, was a hygienic utensil used by ancient Ro…
RT @stilgherrian: Here’s the recipe for deleting your LinkedIn account. https://t.co/gbHTq6glVo And then go to the data deletion form to re…
RT @stilgherrian: Pro Tip: Neither end of the pineapple is good.
RT @stilgherrian: … as a cabbage-white butterfly. From now on all government department experiences will be defined as types of butterflies…
It turns out there was at least twice as much interest in toilet paper as there was last night. Add up the area und… https://t.co/cIpDOlbDLI
RT @GuardianAus: Australian Signals Directorate has already spied on Australians, boss confirms https://t.co/xL8unRCQft
@dobes @ashabeeeee @rohan_p Also, this was for “Senator Fawcett†the other day. https://t.co/szgmpxE85X
@dobes @ashabeeeee @rohan_p This is truly beautiful!
RT @itslittletunny: “shrink-wrapping” is when dinosaur reconstructions follow too closely along the outline of a skeleton, and can end up l…
@oberonsghost @R_Chirgwin @glengyron That’s what they want you to think.
@R_Chirgwin @glengyron What? That the Moon was constructed by aliens?
@purserj Not at all. Swearing is childish.
RT @firstdogonmoon: I would vote for this https://t.co/ZsWryKaCAC
@irisherself I’m a professional.
@robcorr @JodiMcKayMP We are not talking about that. This one. https://t.co/COhxGBmX26
Coronavirus. Corona = crown. Crown = five shillings. Fifty cents. This is the 50centvirus and it will destroy our b… https://t.co/qp8ep3f99R
@drearyclocks The first three words of that tweet should have been enough. You know the answer.
My search history is a train wreck.
Though you also get this photo of a younger Harry Windsor, so there’s thatpic.twitter.com/yFxqCM7ELdLd
It is my sad duty to report that a Google Images search on “fit nazi shirtless†produces images which are mostly no… https://t.co/PUJCtxqjrF
@NewtonMark I think it’s because Scott Morrison is the spitting image of fit Aryan perfectionpic.twitter.com/8Bojr777O7O7
RT @StephenMcDonell: Some solid advice right here: wisdom from the old days… https://t.co/KlXqyWXoQs
@paulwiggins @JodiMcKayMP You are a sick puppy.
@JodiMcKayMP “Something went wrong it’s the government’s fault why are they so bad whine whine whine†isn’t even ki… https://t.co/mnG9OwCXwC
@JodiMcKayMP Honestly, what is it with NSW political parties that makes them even more stupid than elsewhere?
@JodiMcKayMP It’s also fair to say that the problems were caused in a large part by decades of underinvestment by y… https://t.co/B4Cm8Zw3mM
So, @JodiMcKayMP, this word “failsafeâ€. It means that if something fails (a derailment, say) things default to safe… https://t.co/eIzVA2LNsi
@arizclint Or me my knowledge base. :)
RT @purserj: God bless you you patriotic bog roll manufacturer. https://t.co/ZTKkVqVdPy
laurelchor My fully-boarded flight from London to Milan. #Covid_19 pic.twitter.com/VlOYnLFElJ
RT @hughriminton: Authorities say the #coronavirus threat in Australia is “evolving†with an 82yo man diagnosed with the disease at a Sydne…
RT @katinacurtis: Cracker story from @CoughlanMatt out of #estimates - The Fair Work Commission’s deputy president was forced to remove fro…
joeleeds_motd #toiletpapermovies the Roll Nine yards..
RT @dobes: QUOLL!!! https://t.co/rAq5OC2j7Z
@arizclint We call them STIs these days.
RT @mattcdef2000: What you need to do and not do in the event of #coronavirus self-isolation (via @SAHealth) https://t.co/b9iyFcRifx
WtfRenaissance Hey girl. Wanna come over and use some of my toilet paper? pic.twitter.com/M6tAhFFfBm
RT @ben_hr: Someone’s taking “teaching the workers of tomorrow†too literally. https://t.co/c5Rfc1EXvH
RT @MicroSFF: Car dealer: This car is fully autonomous.”
Me: “Impressive! Can it talk?”
Car dealer: “Of course!”
Me, to car: “Are you held…
RT @JesseJonesAU: *quack quack quack*
*quack quack quack*
Boomer: That’s my phone
Everyone: We know
@R_Chirgwin A bit like me.
@R_Chirgwin Ah yes, SS Montgomery is a fascinating wreck, and it’ll be getting more unstable year by year.
RT @zyzzyvamedia: Mental note: when trying to bait #coronavirus #disasterpreppers, frozen peas are apparently much more effective than blac…
JohnBirmingham Hear me out. What if this asteroid is an ASSteroid? Well? Huh? Feel like judging the toilet paper hoarders now?
@leifnixon Arf!
RT @samanthamaiden: Hard to decide if this will expose us to the world as a nation of dickheads or deliver a stirring moment of national pr…
@HxCMurderotica Yeah I’m not sure she’s thought this through, but then fear doesn’t work that way. Sigh. Humans, eh?
Because they’re fuckwits. https://t.co/CKHWVFxt13
I do love the expression of total engagement* on Trump’s face. https://t.co/IWnTFZnlQS
@HxCMurderotica She knows it won’t affect a virus, right?
@glengyron @johnb78 @SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark @dobes Sigh.
Too niche?
Australia to consult famed artist Christo to prepare the nation’s coronavirus defencespic.twitter.com/QA0g1wOU3a3a
RT @10Daily: Staff block off the aisle as they frantically replenish toilet paper supplies at Coles Hornsby last night. #toiletpapergate 🔸:…
Still climbing. Wait until people get home from work. https://t.co/JdQtXWxvnQ https://t.co/mYjERikAIC
There’s a public hearing in the feral deer, pigs, and goats inquiry in Sydney on 18 March. https://t.co/WNlZj46wmJ No program yet.
@snurb_dot_info That whip would come in handy.
@moylecroft Not in the terms of reference. https://t.co/b2yhTnDAG2 In any event emus count as native fauna not fera… https://t.co/ahUFnn0DOB
@Davidramli @AndrewThorpe This is the commodity pricing we need.
@snurb_dot_info True. :(
If you have enjoyed this feral deer, pig, and goat coverage please consider throwing a few dollars into the tip jar. stilgherrian.com/tip/
All this and more can be found in the latest three answers to questions on notice from the Senate Inquiry into the… https://t.co/4dprQVDuXX
RT @MattWadeSMH: Demand for toilet paper at Mount Druitt Coles is so high today there’s a security guard stationed permanently in the toile…
@BlogsofWar I’ll definitely keep my eyes open but wombats can be surly and uncooperative little bastards.
“The NFF [National Farmers Federation] understands that Australian Pork Limited has been contracted to deliver the… https://t.co/AZaKSbVpGm
GAME OVER FOR DEER IN NSW. pic.twitter.com/BggBNzVfGc
“Interviews were conducted with peri-urban residents in the Toowoomba area who have an interest in wild dog control… https://t.co/cL3Vf6s3Sa
We also have a “Feral deer aggregatorâpic.twitter.com/yzXbXTYXWwYXWw
RT @wellmaywesay: This absurd country https://t.co/XZ7d9tv54K
@snurb_dot_info I’d go Bob Katter for this one.
RT @AndrewThorpe: We laugh, but these people are about to rule over us as kings. https://t.co/gGMI3RPi4X
I mean, you wouldn’t want uncoordinated feral pigs, right?
Here’s something I’d missed. “Australia establishes National Feral Pig Coordinator to tackle feral pig population a… https://t.co/KNXJHjGOkw
RT @StanCarey: Norman French dialects had ‘w’ where Parisian had ‘gu’. English took from both — hence pairs like warden/guardian and warran…
CanberraInsider A computer is unloaded at Canberra Airport, 1973 pic.twitter.com/JwbpgQEZRP
RT @cameronwilson: I couldn’t find any individuals or groups who had top performing posts about it on FB or on the web. Just news orgs & sa…
RT @cameronwilson: The most popular piece of content on FB about it is a 7News Sydney video doesn’t include any info why you shouldn’t be w…
RT @cameronwilson: NEW: I looked into why everyone is losing their minds about toilet paper (even tho experts there’s no reason 2 worry).…
RT @HartWexford: To be fair: Biden might get mixed up between his wife and his sister, but Trump gets mixed up between his daughter and the…
@BlogsofWar @elonmusk We really don’t.
@SnarkyPlatypus Here you go. This is much better. https://t.co/ntUe1nF6G0
70s_party They’re creepy and they’re kooky
Mysterious and spooky pic.twitter.com/O1qoyzpZTM
@BlogsofWar The 1920s were a time of such confidence, at least to start with.
The Dornier Do X continues to amaze me. https://t.co/hzrNLsSU3v https://t.co/XDUV02V0gn
@SnarkyPlatypus The Potato Animals will savage you while you sleep.
RT @svdate: To date, the president has spent $133.7 million of taxpayer money to play golf.
That is 334 years worth of presidential salary…
@SnarkyPlatypus There’s a lot of people being hit atm so I guess you’ll just have to ride it out with some comfort… https://t.co/SAp35HB7Fc
RT @expectproblems: Yeah there’s a suspicious lack of spare bog rolls in the toilets at work… https://t.co/ClW8eITa5G
@VirginAustralia At least you didn’t make a joke about a paper plane. :)
Of course they did. https://t.co/Ol5NZpB2pn
RT @dippizuka: what the genuine actual fuck https://t.co/pheQBMLukQ
best_in_dumbest We can’t spell
“Champagne”
without “Ham” pic.twitter.com/npXSc01xhh
@rj_baird I thought that said “mosquitos†at first and quite frankly that was the better idea.
@jpwarren @NuclearAnthro Tag yourself! I’m Bizarre Crises.
@juhasaarinen @Mozziebites Welcome to Climate Change Effect #8993.
@purplepumprnckl @jpwarren @NuclearAnthro This is true.
@jpwarren @manpageman @moylecroft @jeamland @dobes @SnarkyPlatypus I will have to stop and think about that on Reflection Common.
@jpwarren @NuclearAnthro We just say FOI here, Marty.
Hey @jpwarren maybe you need a scale like this for Australian FOI work too. @NuclearAnthro https://t.co/X9FT5AvoTG
@expectproblems Also, here we are. https://t.co/ncEuOYgJ65
@jetztgibtshaue THIS CALLS FOR SCIENCE!
Google Trends search stats for “toilet paper†in Australia, last seven days. It’s still rising as Wednesday progres… https://t.co/xOTEUDJ9F5
@moylecroft @jeamland @dobes @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus One of the Wisdoms for me.
@moylecroft @GordyPls @jpwarren @jeamland I ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY.
bennpackham @AndrewBGreene @CDF_Aust @ScottMorrisonMP Defence just revealed it has 145 people in its media section!
This is just trolling. Also, I fell for your attempted viral marketing tweet, @VirginAustralia, and now I hate myse… https://t.co/Z3bp9Pfdb6
@DavidFeng @billbirtles Try ordering toilet paper and see what happens.
@glengyron Burn it all to the ground.
@Davelennonabc Ah right. “Near†the toilet paper aisle. So also near all manner of other aisles. Sigh.
@Davelennonabc But toilet-paper related or not?
RT @Mozziebites: Last week we broke the local record for most number of mosquitoes in a single trap (~27k) but looking at this week’s colle…
Here we go… https://t.co/8nVLrlEUMB
… as a cabbage-white butterfly. From now on all government department experiences will be defined as types of butte… https://t.co/kyKEzMVXay
RT @NickyWill100: The Animals don’t look enchanted https://t.co/Z1K2dtfsSw
@dobes @SnarkyPlatypus @rohan_p @glengyron This is quite the rabbit-. https://t.co/Mnco37uFPH
Attn: @dobes @SnarkyPlatypus @rohan_p @glengyron. https://t.co/gdYEhpTzRm
@glengyron Or a new pineapple.
RT @wesleysmorgan: Taliban love having Sufi poets quoted to them, I hear 😬 https://t.co/k3MW0nKuFz
Pro Tip: Neither end of the pineapple is good.
@aleeb88 Everything makes complete sense if you drink enough.
@EmmaSachsse @JohnBirmingham GODDAMMIT BIRMINGHAM.
RT @jason_a_w: Coronavirus is throwing up some peculiar ironies. Like Australian boomers becoming the focus of a “stop the boats†campaign…
RT @dannolan: Right now there’s a panic meeting at the AMA with doctors lobbying the government to make toilet paper prescription only
ashleyn1cole Today I completed a chore I have been putting off for six months. It took 15 minutes. I will learn nothing from this.
There’s a checker thingy acheckhost.unboundtest.com17.
Hey Kids! Something like 2% of your Let’s Encrypt certificates may be broken.
https://t.co/vj3Hfa7UiK
https://t.co/NEKW7JbVmO
@EffinBirds Fair point.
HAHAHAHAHAHA NO. #eightmoreyears https://t.co/HVv2A6lYr5
I would like to know more about the pineapple, @EffinBirds. https://t.co/lT43bsupJM
@ifreelydissent You’re more than welcome.
RT @RichardTuffin: When you hear @JoshFrydenberg boasting about GDP figures today as you undoubtedly will, take into account they don’t fac…
RT @nedprice: The American President had a phone call with the head of the Taliban… and the American people learn about it from the Talib…
dobes Please to announce my candidacy for Australian President, on a platform of TOILET PAPER FOR ALL.
@juhasaarinen @darrenpauli What skills are the recommendations for?
I just tweeted a few highlights (lowlights?) from today’s @WHO briefing, including a link, but here’s the whole thr… https://t.co/jdMXxECr9o
RT @WHO: @DrTedros “We can’t stop #COVID19 without protecting #healthworkers.
Prices of surgical masks have increased six-fold, N95 respira…
RT @WHO: @DrTedros “Third, we have vaccines & therapeutics for seasonal flu, but at the moment there is no vaccine & no specific treatment…
RT @WHO: @DrTedros “Globally, about 3.4% of reported #COVID19 cases have died. By comparison, seasonal flu generally kills far fewer than 1…
RT @WHO: @DrTedros The full briefing on #COVID19 by @DrTedros 💉 https://t.co/3jJTMCIjTt https://t.co/lnCaGcPR9g
@danziffer Perhaps like you just did. :P
@terencehuynh Oh they know how to find me. Alas.
@Headwellred I hate you. :P
Here’s the recipe for deleting your LinkedIn account. https://t.co/gbHTq6glVo And then go to the data deletion form… https://t.co/4M1OQVYGAn
I HAVE FINALLY, RIGHT NOW, DELETED MY LINKEDIN ACCOUNT.
@JustJimWillDo @dobes @jpwarren There’s a whole Valley full of them.
@munin Australia really is quite strange right now.
Apparently it’#toiletpapergatete nowpic.twitter.com/ztIYxsK8VLVL
Why yes, I do think I’ll end up just shitposting on Twitter all day.
Pinboard Bloomberg is somewhere tonight asking nervous staffers why his terminal only shows results from American Samoa pic.twitter.com/YG4a7VTcFy
CORRECTION: Both @dobes and @jpwarren will love this one. https://t.co/ExThl4qfA7
RT @NSWRFS: A heartfelt thank you to all of the school students that have spent time making thank you cards for firefighters and emergency…
RT @quinncy: “Kentucky Meat Shower†sounds like something you don’t want to look up in urban dictionary but DAMN IT, IT HAPPENED.
https://…
@EmmaSachsse @JohnBirmingham You should throw something at him. For me.
mwyres BREAKING: Live view of an Australian toilet… pic.twitter.com/f68DoGsIom
@dobes @DrRhysPockett @trentyarwood And how is it that press corps members as a bloc went along with the gag?
RT @djbaskin: I went to my local Costco today and replaced the signs for sold out items like toilet paper and bottled water with signs for…
silviakillings This is a truly amazing caption and photo pairing pic.twitter.com/hY1sObY5ut
@JustJimWillDo @dobes @TimeGhostTV There is a really bad Colonel Klink reference in this week’s “Between 2 Warsâ€, w… https://t.co/0B2jeQo0CH
@JustJimWillDo @dobes @TimeGhostTV I have deleted that tweet then, and will set something to fire off appropriately… https://t.co/pD4DQjPIY4
@DaisyB_77 @_ClaireConnelly @sicksadhack @snurb_dot_info @TomSear “Told that there were reports†is very bad sourcing. :)
@dobes @TimeGhostTV Oops, I hope I didn’t just break embargo on that. I think I did ’cos I got the timezones wrong.
@dobes @TimeGhostTV Here you go. pic.twitter.com/NQFUG9vtSh
@dobes @TimeGhostTV It starts at 0600 Hawaii local time, so whatever that is. Yes, 8 Dec our time.
RT @ErrataRob: Remember kids: don’t get so depressed by the election results, there’s still hope. https://t.co/W4QiVBGK2X
@mediahaze Ah, so it’s a species of brain worm. Gotcha.
“The tersorium was shared by people using public latrines. To clean the sponge, they simply washed it in a bucket w… https://t.co/tTYRthl6fz
DEAR AUSTRALIA: The xylospongium or tersorium, also known as sponge on a stick, was a hygienic utensil used by anci… https://t.co/xejldT0xXp
Except for the so-called trustworthy news of course. https://t.co/NlGBeRqA1N
“So far, there’s no obvious sign of toilet paper-related disinfo here.†This is our world now. https://t.co/Jf2x21crT6
@snurb_dot_info @elisethoma5 @sicksadhack @_ClaireConnelly @TomSear @bencjenkins @cameronwilson Thanks, Axel. “So f… https://t.co/5fBlPUSQO5
God bless America. Ping @DrRhysPockett @trentyarwood. https://t.co/v7WmBZwSMD
@glengyron @jeamland @dobes @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus Milpitas is a shithole.
@franksting @jeamland @dobes @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus My guess is that those factories were demolished and the pla… https://t.co/JrZTPihtMl
December quarter NSW crime stats are out from @BOCSAR. https://t.co/t9wuTLkNFK The two crimes trending up statewide… https://t.co/Efzod0Jk2W
mediahaze @JazzTwemlow Toilet paper is the prison cigarettes of the apocalypse
RT @KateDahls: I are not believe you. https://t.co/hHtdZ2FHIs
@elisethoma5 @sicksadhack @_ClaireConnelly @snurb_dot_info @TomSear @bencjenkins @cameronwilson Cameron has been do… https://t.co/Tx49Bv496q
RT @strom_m: Blaming the ABC for @AAPNewswire demise? Does not compute. https://t.co/m6itu5Wbey
“The CIA Hacking Group (APT-C-39) Conducts Cyber-Espionage Operation on China’s Critical Industries for 11 Yearsâ€â€¦ https://t.co/bRTUrfpqu4
@elisethoma5 @sicksadhack @_ClaireConnelly @snurb_dot_info @TomSear @bencjenkins @cameronwilson Heh. Yeah as I said… https://t.co/TX6BrXRHwu
RT @EBKania: The APT1 report was a wake-up call for the Chinese government with regard to the feasibility of attribution and potential for…
RT @EBKania: I remember five years ago when I was an intern at @FireEye and reading Qihoo’s report on OceanLotus. I wondered at the time wh…
@jeamland @dobes @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus HAHAHAHA! Just a short distance from Innovation… https://t.co/Nuy9Ej8bGE
RT @Pinboard: Every camera has a video feature, but not every reporter has a spine https://t.co/ykppEfrz28
@Tobias_Keller @snurb_dot_info @_ClaireConnelly @sicksadhack @TomSear @Timothyjgraham @antmandan That dip in the pe… https://t.co/qkNMKIgOe6
@kutinnaku @czhedgehog @dobes It’s not a flu either.
@Tobias_Keller @snurb_dot_info @_ClaireConnelly @sicksadhack @TomSear @Timothyjgraham @antmandan Google Trends sear… https://t.co/GJK2dJaIu2
RT @dobes: Australians are so casually racist https://t.co/iBEtRelF4O
Today’@7ampodcastst “Labor’s climate smokescreen†indicates just how fucked Australia is thespca.st/00vwsxjyzfOa4bai
TheNTNews LOOKS LIKE TERRITORIANS DON’T GIVE A SHIT #toiletpaper pic.twitter.com/8XH9dOt4ct
RT @NewtonMark: Today, when you’re at work, if you find out one of your colleagues has been panic-buying forklift pallets full of toilet pa…
Attn: @johnb78 @SnarkyPlatypus @NewtonMark @dobes. https://t.co/CNvuHWoZrU
RT @adamliaw: If you are one of the people who has panic-bought a 6-month supply of toilet paper I think you should go home and look at you…
Just look at this bullshit. It’s like 13yo’s in a school playgroupic.twitter.com/1OvJ8C8eHO8eHO
@jpwarren @JohnBirmingham @cameronwilson Yes, that definitely happened. :)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! “Twitter Employees Show Support For Embattled CEO With #WeBackJack Hashtag†https://t.co/thbC5vdHn2 What brown-tongues.
@cameronwilson @_ClaireConnelly @sicksadhack @snurb_dot_info @TomSear Will do, though I doubt I’ll do anything today.
@ReadPete Fuck no.
Wait. Super Tuesday is today in the US? (It’s already well into Wednesday here.) I might as well scoop out my brain now.
RT @russelneiss: Remember when the biggest political argument of the day was whether or not the Dixie Chicks hated America?
@sicksadhack @_ClaireConnelly @snurb_dot_info @TomSear @elisethoma5 @lawfarepodcast @jennyleong This week. It was M… https://t.co/VA4jWnMH3b
@_ClaireConnelly @sicksadhack @snurb_dot_info @TomSear I should also say that @elisethoma5 is good to follow on thi… https://t.co/Vs2kcVQp2j
@riskybusiness Hahaha I just retweeted this to @thegrugq. It’s beautiful work.
dobes I’ve traded all my tulips for toilet paper. I’ve gone in big.
@_ClaireConnelly @sicksadhack The people to watch re this are @snurb_dot_info and his crew at QUT, and maybe… https://t.co/0pWCctdGXT
@joshgnosis I definitely want to know more though. :)
@LLah_Nomis @JohnBirmingham @cameronwilson Yep, because that’s when everything goes to shit. [Bows]
@joshgnosis My guess is an open window or air vent or something. Rod goes in through a narrow gap, and hook the jewellery from there.
Attn: @thegrugq. https://t.co/ocmg3RCHo6
Me at @zdnetaustralia Monday: “Australia’s surveillance laws are hitting the social license problemâ€â€¦ https://t.co/7L962GPRTj
Me at @zdnetaustralia Tueasday: “Aussie Parliament’s sad cyber espionage saga is a salient lesson for othersâ€â€¦ https://t.co/nHELPaHsCt
Wed plan, draft: Slow start with fried rice, because weather; sort out all my comms and notes and plans and things;… https://t.co/WOGvd3EaHI
I think @dobes will like the Barnaby Joyce caricature. https://t.co/FmrpKbgGny
@jeamland @dobes @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus Thanks. I suspect the whole area is called “Innovationâ€. My address is 1… https://t.co/UVn3YyJoPE
@NewtonMark @obi1666 I didn’t feel brave enough to say “mostly for cooling†even though they were the applications… https://t.co/mbJsFphgrk
cameronwilson Australian society is rapidly separating into the toilet paper haves & have-nots
@dobes @jeamland @jpwarren @SnarkyPlatypus Link please, Benno.
@obi1666 That’s more a question fo@NewtonMarkrk. They can be all sort of things, but he may know specifically what they are in this case.
Did @JohnBirmingham consider this aspect sufficiently in his current audiobook series? I’m trying to remember wheth… https://t.co/snivi33Py3
This is such very @jpwarren @jeamland @dobes @SnarkyPlatypus territory. I love it. https://t.co/38gohAbEjV
It’s a very soggy day in the Blue Mountains today. I too feel a bit drabpic.twitter.com/62O0Hb6aWdWd
Wednesday. Turn on all of the appliances. One of them is bound to be appropriate. Wednesday.