gotlegsmacro My keys when I’m late and I’m trying to leave the house; a portrait.
–
Two-tailed #Spider (Hersilia sp.)…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…v2
[Makes note] twitter.com/benraue/status…
@SuperCroup Well this is excellent value for $20, particularly if it’s 50% acetate.
@SuperCroup What sizes does it come in?
decolonialatlas “Unhealthy but exploitable” - Sir Harry Johnston’s brazen appraisal of most of Africa in 1899. pic.twitter.com/h7xMmomSGJ
surgeonshall This bladder stone was “cut by Jer. Callot from Thomas Murray at Paris, 8th May 1676” Removing bladder stones was v..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…SK
Colgo Best media tweet of 2020 twitter.com/RuairiWood/sta…
@patstokes Grant applications must be the most demoralising part of, well, everything academic.
@patstokes This is all just soft. So soft.
@patstokes Can’t you just write, say, “Seriously what IS your problem you cunt?”?
@jonkudelka Good to hear.
@jonkudelka Because the world is fucked and people are fucked and everything is fucked. Anyway, how’s your evening going?
Pffft! It’ll buff out, maybe a little spot welding. twitter.com/PSSAG_PJ/statu…
“The Bristol Post NAMES and SHAMES trolls”, you mean, because a newspaper is a singular noun. And no. twitter.com/ABCmediawatch/…
Paul_Karp My proposed coronavirus stimulus package: everyone gets 2 weeks leave, a Stan subscription, 2 weeks of lean cuisine..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Sh
Actually no. It should be @BillBailey. twitter.com/Madz_Grant/sta…
Barnaby Joyce. twitter.com/Madz_Grant/sta…
teaandrobots apparently @IKEA bags are a great way to restrain angry swans. I would like to suggest the bags be given a new name..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…R5
@mediahunter @servantofchaos @SMicallefOnline You mean @shaunmicallef I think.
beverleywang 2 kg of rice is not stockpiling for an Asian person. It’s running low on rice.
smh.com.au/lifestyle/heal… pic.twitter.com/x51tyLlm6A
9NewsAUS Russian spies are accused of hacking the Australian Federal Police and leaking files to cover up any involvement in..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xG
smh Supermarket giant Woolworths has told customers attempting to return excess purchases of toilet paper, pasta, canne..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…s7
RichardTuffin #madashell night. So unplug the jukebox and do us all a favour-ee-errr
image credit @ladyaimless1 pic.twitter.com/nNrTIobBTj
BetootaAdvocate PM Forced To Act On Coronavirus After Learning His Voter Base Might Not Exist In A Few Months:..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…yS
@sleepingdingo Squid have their moments.
EXPERT SUBJECT SQUID!
@dfpiii @morebento @PodcastName It was a very good episode, this most recent one. Bravo.
fred_connection This is amazing 😂 pic.twitter.com/13tEJf3HFO
wellmaywesay Save Albert Park’s only remaining member plugs in the 486, fires up Powerpoint and gets ready to print on the Canon..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tv
@RealNickHodge @staticsan @SnarkyPlatypus Maybe in your household, mate.
@jpwarren @NewtonMark @dobes Or “Improvised Ham Device”.
snurbbotinfo I get awfully weird. But oddly plausible. Enjoy.
@SnarkyPlatypus [Cough]
@glengyron @SnarkyPlatypus Solid explanation.
@SnarkyPlatypus Anyway, what is your advice for the gentleman in question?
@SnarkyPlatypus Why are you suppressing my education?
@SnarkyPlatypus Go on…
@SnarkyPlatypus Yes I got that bit. My question is “What did you think it was?”
Histreepix A juke box tells a solitary woman to cheer up. London, 1976. pic.twitter.com/dibIvadmoG
Flu0rescxnt The way Prince Harry completely ignored Borris has me dying 😂 #CommonwealthDay pic.twitter.com/4EOTVMzjNX
@SnarkyPlatypus Please explain.
And then there’s this. twitter.com/fesshole/statu…
Here we go, @SnarkyPlatypus. The perfect marriages. twitter.com/fesshole/statu…
This is why @SnarkyPlatypus should do an Agony Aunt column. twitter.com/fesshole/statu…
Brilliant anti-terrorism policing story involving ham. @NewtonMark @dobes @jpwarren twitter.com/fesshole/statu…
The Blue Lagoon. twitter.com/bad_packets/st…
Beautiful work. twitter.com/ChadwikoRCC/st…
@staticsan Yeah but that wasn’t the question.
I had to look up who Adam Driver was because I’d never heard of him. Turns out that he’s some bloke a head like loa..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…lx
hughriminton Remarkably, the NSW Minister for Strip-Searching Children is this time aiming parallel to the ground instead of dir..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…fp
SuperCroup This can only mean that one of the fake Hillarys has died of the coronavirus twitter.com/HillaryClinton…
“ASD teamed up with GCHQ for stolen credit card crackdown” by @dobes zdnet.com/article/asd-te…
PeterNRMA Media reports this morning suggest #coronavirus could spell the end of hot desking once and for all. Even in the da..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Qu
Cyber hackers.
“Cyber hackers demand $30m from ‘major international company’ with office in Perth” thewest.com.au/business/cyber…..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eZ
I knew this. twitter.com/juhasaarinen/s…
Spouting this sort of rubbish is actually irresponsible, I think.
A screenshot for future reference of a tweet from renown epidemiologist Alexander Downer. twitter.com/AlexanderDowne… pic.twitter.com/0JEr1XTthd
Centrelink is incompetent, Part 755. twitter.com/MattCowgill/st…
“On Monday, domestic outlet Caixin reported that the property owner had illegally added three stories to the hotel..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…B6
@TheRealKerryG It is. My GP is actually seeking new patients because managing people with HIV is now easier (two vi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…wj
SixthTone Update: As of Wednesday, 42 people had been rescued, and 26 people are dead after a quarantine hotel for close cont..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…XO
@jpwarren We are so getting old.
@SnarkyPlatypus Timeless, etc.
That’s the end of the highlights I’ll tweet this time.
Attitude to Bridget McKenzie’s resignation and grant allocation essentialvision.com.au/attitude-to-br… pic.twitter.com/pfp6ij40n1
Government spending on energy sources essentialvision.com.au/government-spe…
I’m surprised by how much support nuclear gets. pic.twitter.com/U22kpd3cQq
Q To what extent are you concerned about the threat of the Coronavirus in Australia?
Q How likely do you think it i..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…pa
Better at managing the economy? essentialvision.com.au/better-at-mana…
and
Better at managing major events?..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Sq
Q Which of the following issues are the most important for the Federal Government to address over the next 12 month..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…bf
New Essential polling is out. I’ll skip the “PM rating” stuff. You can look at that here. essentialvision.com.au/category/essen…
@jplonie I don’t know where you live.
@jonoabroad Stem cell treatment is an astounding thing.
NorthmanTrader Coronavirus response plan summarized:
pic.twitter.com/OTNjWSds7j
LindaMottram This is a terrific representation of how we want Covid-19 to play out. Tonight on #abcPM @abcnews, @CollignonPeter..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…mn
adamliaw It’s quite amazing how in just one year we’ve seamlessly transitioned from the mindful zen of KonMari decluttering..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…NY
@DarkMatterzine So many unanticipated side-effects. This will get funnier every dingle day.
“Salmon calmer around robots with flippers” scimex.org/newsfeed/fish-… Attn: @firstdogonmoon.
@expectproblems Everything is going very well indeed.
“A second patient is now said to be ‘cured’ of HIV” scimex.org/newsfeed/a-sec…
“New international research has found a worrying change in the Indian Ocean’s surface temperatures that puts southe..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gq
“Exclusive: Google users in UK to lose EU data protection - sources” (20 Feb) reuters.com/article/us-goo…
From Greece: “Cyber attack on PM’s office, state bodies attributed to foreign spies” (23 Feb) ekathimerini.com/249843/article…
@jxeeno Excellent, thanks Ken.
@mogadeet Nothing can stop the progress of anal bleaching!
SnarkyPlatypus Maybe the spreadsheet evolved into a rorting artificial intelligence and updated itself. twitter.com/plalor/status/…
LeenaVanD if you’re mad about people stockpiling toilet paper wait until you hear about negative gearing
@StephanieCarvin Thanks so much. :)
@jxeeno Does your wonderful app also explain the types of Bs somewhere? I am so behind the pace.
@jxeeno Oh right. I keep forgetting they’re a thing.
@StephanieCarvin Thanks, Stephanie. I guess I bring an eclectic mix to the table. Helps prevent getting too depressed I guess.
@jxeeno Hey I am baffled. What does a purple C mean? Coronavirus infected stations?
Why am I like this?
@munin Where’s the shaming? I am providing neutral information and accurately quoting the article.
Yeah look it’s a long story.
“The good news is, you can ambush your partner with this nightmare footage via FaceTime.”
“Adding new meaning to the term ‘selfie stick’, this vibrator is equipped with a video camera. Yes. It films the in..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4Z
@kcollasarundell @reselsnark @jeamland @dobes AFL players would just take a punt, of course.
(I’m here all week.) pic.twitter.com/vep2WR3Qe9
@kcollasarundell @reselsnark @jeamland @dobes This does raise the question, however, of what other kinds of watercr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ed
@reselsnark @jeamland @dobes What does Scott Cam think of nuclear submarines?
@Andrew_Zammit @jetztgibtshaue I hadn’t. Thank you.
Picketer Pretty spectacular dunk from someone in this sort of role twitter.com/murraywatt/sta…
@expectproblems Would they have done this as a prank?
bencjenkins There’s a condition called Paris Syndrome, where tourists will enter a kind of dissociative state because the Paris..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ws
LCbasecamp Mind your own business Carol. pic.twitter.com/eH4BHXtjnq
missie17 This #PanicBuying is really getting out of hand: pic.twitter.com/gmAPjaAT2X
@munin I think it means the opposite.
@jetztgibtshaue Oh there will be. Some arsehat will say that submarines will be obsolete because of drones.
@munin 10 points!
coffeeshopjihad Daughter told me all the crayons I ate as a Marine probably made me immune to coronavirus. My baby told her first Marine crayon joke. 🥺💖
@jeamland @dobes @reselsnark Indeed.
I wonder how stupid some of the journalists’ questions will be. I wonder if they even know which end of the submari..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…h9
Ah! Australia’s submarines are being discussed at the National Press Club. Here’s some tweets, but I reckon I’ll ha..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…J8
Pinboard I won’t even mention the infamous Biden bros, struggling with caps lock as they try to tweet into a Word document.
@jeamland @dobes @reselsnark Maybe make the submarine slightly bigger and you could fit a rugby player in it.
Picketer When faced with an epidemic, the Government’s go to experts are….. bank CEOs twitter.com/patrickdurkin/…
James_Jeffrey That was written in the pre-Dyson era, though. twitter.com/bairdjulia/sta…
@purserj @dobes @reselsnark Perfect.
trentyarwood The pre test probability of having coronavirus if you’re a health minister seems to be pretty high
UK minister tes..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…YL
@dobes @reselsnark I saw that there’s going to be a COVID-19 Hackathon somewhere in the US, so these solutions should be appearing soon.
Finally. I’ve no idea why they set it up in the first place. twitter.com/mwyres/status/…
NewtonMark The real news story is that a random businessman you’ve never heard of before (Jaycar), who happens to want nuclear..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Vt
@jpwarren @oz_f @SatPaper It shows how @madashelltv has created an accurate character for his adviser.
@oz_f @SatPaper Also gotta love this AAP / Darren English photo of Home Affairs minister Peter Dutton watching ASIO..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Pu
“Exclusive: ASIO’s ‘race war’ warning”, a brilliant get by @oz_f and @SatPaper thesaturdaypaper.com.au/news/politics/…
Gotta love..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…GC
@therevmountain Because too many journalists still seem to think their oh-so-important words are the main or indeed..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xj
@NewtonMark @RealNickHodge Q.E.D.
@NewtonMark Well you could fix that by flying your aircraft the right way up.
TeenVogue @ everyone referring to to #COVID19 as “the Chinese coronavirus” or “the Wuhan fever” — we get it, you’re racist.tnvge.co/MRSdbV3o
Scott Cam’s sookage doesn’t convince me. “‘It’s only fair’: TV host defends government role” themandarin.com.au/126977-its-onl… Ping @SnarkyPlatypus.
“Defence first Commonwealth entity to be successfully prosecuted under current work safety laws” themandarin.com.au/127021-defence…
@NewtonMark I can get an experience where I smile and ask for more for a good bit less than $450 per hour.
boucherhayes Minister first noticed her symptoms as she was signing a statutory instrument making #coronavirus a notifiable dise..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Vz
10NewsFirst Prime Minister Scott Morrison has announced the government will extend the current travel ban to include Italy — e..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…uy
@NickyWill100 @nntaleb That’s a really good statement.
NickyWill100 No surprises that David Walsh who made gazillions gambling, releases a statement that could have been written by..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2z
ishaantharoor Last days in Saigon stuff right now at @washingtonpost HQ after we were “encouraged” to work from home starting tom..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…uy
Gokul_Sahni Always great to hear two of Australia’s best strategic thinkers @Rory_Medcalf & @mfullilove discuss the Indo-Pacifi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…q7
Wed plan, an outline: Today will be a “slow start and potter” kind of day. The creative juices need a bit of a sque..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…PW
“Proofpoint has observed a shocking new phishing campaign, which involves cybercriminals sending fake HIV test resu..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ZH
expectproblems This is a Florida Man twist I did NOT expect. pic.twitter.com/hYFnfSWejK
TrevClark1958 What a majestic sight! This is the SARO SR 45 ‘Princess’ flying boat, flying over its ‘home’ turf, the Isle of Wigh..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…LB
windsorknot I just enjoy how you can read “white washing” over Pence’s shoulder during this #caronavirus press briefing. pic.twitter.com/8LAQsdt5BJ
@Epigrammist @oberonsghost Like Saint Sebastian.
Part of last night’s dream was set in the Attorney-General’s office. Former A-G George Brandis was there, wearing o..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…X4
Yet another day of acceptable weather in Sydney. This pleases me. pic.twitter.com/n0k3k9fDNo
Wednesday. Is your wardrobe convincing? Wednesday.