@SuperCroup I have seen someone say their workmate thought this. Doubt it’s an isolated case of stupidity.
I’m glad to see that everyone is a viral epidemiologist again tonight.
SuperCroup Wise words. twitter.com/wobster/status…
NewtonMark Is this official advice as credible as the offical advice that told Karl Stephanovic that Dutton was missing his in..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Dt
@AlisterAir @LaTrioli I think you might need to have another go at it.
@AlisterAir @LaTrioli Where the hell did you get that interpretation from?
From a friend: “Ahhhh fuck, in light of tonight’s travel advice we might have to pull the plug on [DESTINATION]. No..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…h9
ahmermkhan To neutralise the effect of #Coronavirus, a right wing Hindu outfit is organising a Gaumutra (cow urine) party tomo..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…fI
Is it wrong that I’m enjoying this SO much? twitter.com/NelsonMRosario…
shaun_vids imo, the best sort of economic system is one so fragile that we need to pretend a pandemic isn’t happening to avoid frightening it to death

da_judge This is a picture of an asteroid crater in Arizona…
Look how close it came to hitting the visitors centre… pic.twitter.com/hJgOxNxyLd
@aggerchez I was wondering about that. Sigh.

bbccomedy Alan Partridge’s Hands-Free Train Toilet Drill will revolutionise your life. #AlanPartridge #ThisTime pic.twitter.com/WVTXYPU4AF
stilgherrian Congrats again @oz_f and @7ampodcast for the “White Terror” series. Highly recommended.
1. pca.st/ycjjpi36..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ep
stilgherrian If you had to imagine the sort of cunt who’d be a “property technology entrepreneur” what do you think they’d look..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xX
@alex4pt That’s novel at least.
Scarfolk Wash your hands or we will remove them and wash them for you.
MattSainsb For those interested - COVID-19’s incubation period is about 5 days, and symptoms show up in 12:..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…UG
manyapan Wechat article by Chinese Student Union of Cardiff Uni making its rounds — she was yelled at for wearing a face ma..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…bY
iMusing so Morrison knew when he did that piece to camera last night, and knew when he said this afternoon that he’s still..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ie
latingle “Misrepresented”… twitter.com/annajhenderson…
@jeremysear POSSIBLY.
@kcarruthers I hope she consulted an exorcist.
@jeremysear I KNOW THIS IS TERRIBLE TIMING.
@TwitsForMiles @LaTrioli Yep. Premium is full HD or higher with no adverts, and full-length videos not just previews. Or, um, so I’m told.
@LaTrioli @TwitsForMiles Absolutely. A perfect free trial offer scenario,
@TwitsForMiles @LaTrioli Did you see that Pornhub is providing free premium accounts to people in Italy’s locked-down provinces?
HAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHA. HAHA. HAHAHAHA. [Deep breath] HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA! HA! Oh yeah, @LaTrioli, tell us..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2l

AmyRemeikis Peter Dutton has Coronavirus, in three acts. pic.twitter.com/ZbpH6na8JL
No more potato joke replies please.
@dmeeze I’ll pay that. :)
@Ben_Shute Try not to over-think this. :)
@LeslieHammondQC Quite a few times, yes.
Latest from Coles: “From Saturday we will limit the purchase of pasta, flour, dry rice, paper towels, paper tissues..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xL
ToshGreenslade Please don’t die. That’s one of my most popular characters…
IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE FUCKING POTATO JOKE AT LEAST TRY TO MAKE IT FUNNY HONESTLY YOU PEOPLE ARE SHITHOUSE AT COMEDY.
DougalWallace Margaret Court’s Victory Life Church says it will continue as usual, because it’s protected from the Covid-19 virus..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eI
glengyron How many times do authorities have to point out that corona virus is NOT like the flu. twitter.com/nopoweradeinus…
@CosmicRami All of it, really.
oz_f Therapists tell you not to obliterate yourself with alcohol and drugs when you’re feeling down, but if they were go..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…g0
@DrRhysPockett @johnb78 Depends which end of the economy you start.
What a shemozzle.
kevinbonham Politicians with coronavirus according to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_p…:
Iran 12
Spain, France 8
Italy 5
Austria 2
Austr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Yk
@munin Yep.
@munin Not yet, anyway.
gomichild ARE WE AT STRAWBERRY 🍓 NEEDLES THREAT LEVEL YET?
That’s probably a good idea, yes. twitter.com/VOANews/status…
jekearsley A week ago Peter Dutton was with Ivanka Trump, US Attorney-General William Barr and members of other five eyes nati..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…iY
REMINDER: Speculation isn’t News.
@BundyB I didn’t go outside, so sure.
FionaKatauskas I’ve run out of toilet paper and shall henceforth be using toast
@DavidFeng I will make you a proper drink some time.
This photograph also sums up today. twitter.com/DomLorrimer/st…
@parisba Sorry. Suddenly in quarantine.
@joannejacobs Moi aussi.
NeilMcMahon Spare a thought for coronavirus. One minute you’re hanging out with Tom Hanks hearing stories about Meg Ryan and Ju..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…K7
@mediahaze Excellent. Though I’m not quarantined yet.
I think I’ll make myself a Special Drink.
Max_Fisher Hard to think of a better metaphor for the 21st century than China, South Korea, Singapore, Japan all on their way..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…uk
Oh. It’s finished. Well those two days went by quickly.
@jonoabroad It’s not porn.
Also, “Ensure that your staff and stakeholders are informed and educated in cyber security practices, such as detec..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…C7
The @ASDGovAu is joining the many agencies reminding people to consider cybersecurity as part of their work-from-ho..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…jm

God bless the NBN. pic.twitter.com/M2v0ITxYhj
NickEvershed just heard about 20 news alerts go off in this train carriage omg
jdub Always wash your potatoes.
JoeABCNews Peter Dutton has COVID-19 twitter.com/peterdutton_mp…
That was a fun recording of @wellmaywesay with @jeremysear. And now, thanks to the NBN, I am uploading audio files..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…gS
@jpwarren Only if it’s a regional pool and already finished being built.
NOT THE WIENERMOBILE! twitter.com/Wienermobile/s…
The fabulous moving podcast recording time is now 1610 AEDT, and that’s coming up soon. I’m glad I had this chance..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…LY
seamus Remember when people said there’s no way the public would forget how badly the govt did during the bushfires?
So long ago…
@jpwarren Maybe he’s saving that modelling for the swimsuit round.

Heh. “Public Servant Leaves Important Work Until Monday” betootaadvocate.com/uncategorized/… pic.twitter.com/OCbS91XWY5
Is see that @LowyInstitute has cancelled all its events for next week.
@expectproblems Well he probably isn’t, but trust is at an all-time low I think.
Here’s some information which I didn’t have because I wasn’t in the mood for watching a press conference. twitter.com/perrynfowler/s…
Maybe Scott Morrison was just wanting to give people a bit of notice. What I find interesting, though, is that he’s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…94
There’s a certain amount of cynical speculation that the ban on mass events is only set to start on Monday because..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2I
“Telecommunications International Production Orders Bill sent to PJCIS” by @dobes, because he can do that apparentl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…6s
disastrid I love switching between VPNs and seeing how media outlets tailor their headlines depending on who they think the a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…G4

ashleystorrie AMAZON HAS SOLD OUT OF PLAGUE DOCTOR MASKS. 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/d7uhzYNW3c
nicolejensen Even the dark web is doing its part. twitter.com/EileenOrmsby/s…
Congrats again @oz_f and @7ampodcast for the “White Terror” series. Highly recommended.
1. pca.st/ycjjpi36..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ep
joshgnosis Can’t wait for his lip sync twitter.com/QandA/status/1…
And… we’ve pushed back the recording to 1530. This is cool.
@gathgwyn No, @gathgwyn, I know I’ve been a soft touch and given you extra snacks some days, but not today.
“Samantha Maiden has been appointed National Political Editor for news.com.au. She will join the team i..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…88
abcnews ASC shuts down operations after worker tests positive to coronavirus abc.net.au/news/2020-03-1…
Fri plan, updated: Slow start (done); administrivia (done); 1230 podcast recording (someone else’s not mine); think..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…s4
@jpwarren 13-year-olds always think they know everything though.

“I go up this way,” says @gathgwyn. pic.twitter.com/RLFWruVHB6
It seems Indonesia is hanging out for the facts, @SnarkyPlatypus. twitter.com/snurb_dot_info…
marisa_franco Socialism for the markets, Rugged individualism for people. twitter.com/alivelshi/stat…

bornmiserable computer, enhance pic.twitter.com/jkExiRtkRw
snurb_dot_info When, if ever, is #ScottyFromMismanagement going to get the bloody message ?
Take the hint, mate. Nobody wants to..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…JG
Truly beautiful. twitter.com/robaeprice/sta…
SethAbramson *TRUMP TRAVEL BAN*
{RETWEET for those confused about how Trump makes decisions}
IRELAND (🇮🇪): NO BAN
✅ 1 Trump go..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1b
@trentyarwood @jpwarren I thought you’d want to know about this.

@oberonsghost @garystark Engadine Maccas 2021. pic.twitter.com/43kM7u6Oko
“Digital health agency launches My Health Record resource for children’, which will thrill @jpwarren themandarin.com.au/127297-digital…
@Picketer She’s doing good.
@garystark @oberonsghost I now have images of ragged footballers playing a game in some empty post-armageddon landscape.
oneplanetmikey This Coronavirus shit is getting real. The induction of Depeche Mode into the Rock and Roll hall of fame in Cincinn..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ng
johnb78 “I say this not as an epidemiologist, but as a person with a massive hobby horse that I am going to wheel out on ev..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…sQ

Also, their email marketing provider is “Reasonable Spread”, which I find way too amusing. pic.twitter.com/lrEludeqRo

For some reason I am getting coronavirus advice from Shenzhen Sansun Technology Co.,Ltd. pic.twitter.com/FW906ExVwM
@dobes The official facts are always balanced.
@DDsD Oh I’m fine with him doing the gig. I’m just loving* the hyperbole.
@oberonsghost Oh good.
@SnarkyPlatypus @pubiary Can I just say that your calibration for “It was OK” may not be the same as others’?
Fuck.

@NewtonMark Nah I’m fucked. This is part of their business model. pic.twitter.com/u3Mj7jT1Iq
@NewtonMark Oh God, click on the “English” button and I”m being redirected to west.xyz, so that’s a pain.
@NewtonMark That’s west263.com (which is not on the web) at west.cn fwiw.
@NewtonMark [Nods] Yeah I knew I had a chance if .au, but working thru register “Chengdu west dimension digital tec..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Rv
Today we are all Sunny Pig.
@NewtonMark Nah, it’s a .com.
“Fu Yinjuan: In just a few days, I have withdrawn for the second time, earning more than 20,000 points, I would hav..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…ld
The comments are also great. “Sunny pig: It really is true, I also followed the WeChat customer service for half an..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…GQ
Even funnier because the spokesperson is supposedly Goddess Zhao Liying, a major Chinese actor…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…bn
“To be honest, I am very optimistic about this product, which is the reason for my endorsement. I am also a benefic..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xH
Hahaha goddammit. A client’s domain has been sniped and is now advertising some dodgy get-rich-quick scheme.
“It i..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…6b
I title this video “The Defendant and His Lawyer”. twitter.com/Glenina57/stat…
@bgosford Ta, I’ll check it out.
@SupergranIsBack “Old people” built the damn internet.
GrogsGamut he has literally become the meme
GrogsGamut “Can’t get it if you’re not tested for it…” twitter.com/nytimes/status…
@johnmcternan We could call it the “indoornet” because it works indoors.
Gosh. If only there were some way to spend money from inside your own home. twitter.com/AusOpinion/sta…
Wow this is serious. twitter.com/DaveClark_AFP/…
VinceRugari The fact that they waited until a large crowd of people were lining up at the gates to announce there would be no c..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…8V
@tshanahan83 @Headwellred I’d never thought I’d say this, but I’ve been impressed with Hastie’s chairing of PJCIS.
@Anthony_Caruana @washingtonpost Bend over and I’ll tell you.
@Headwellred @tshanahan83 I’m having trouble thinking of anyone else from that batch. Marise Payne is doing well as..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Z0
That @washingtonpost headline “Coronavirus burial pits in Iran so vast that they’re visible from space”… Can we s..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…3z
@tshanahan83 That’s quite scrwed.
@tshanahan83 I know through personal contacts that thankfully at the health operational level plans are well under..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…d2
@tshanahan83 The Libs do have a few but they’re all either backbenchers or in a ministry that’s look bacd to shuffl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…l2
@tshanahan83 Yeah it’s hardly “We shall fight them on the beaches”. Is there anything even vaguely like a call to a..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…hF
@mrsrockoyster Thank you but no, I am not a nurse.

joshgnosis I went back to the NBN cost-benefit analysis from 2014 and lol in what world is a whole season of GoT 1.7GB? pic.twitter.com/ySuXWXozuv
DPAQreport As Americans speak of long waits, Senegal is testing people & getting results within 4 hours.
twitter.com/acarvin/status…
If you missed PM Scott Morrison’s Address to the Nation last night and want to catch up without seeing the smirk, h..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Gw

RightWingWatch Kenneth Copeland healed viewers of the coronavirus through their televisions last night. pic.twitter.com/8lwHufTIy4
@jonstribling That’s… reassuring?

shuhyta At a vice-regal event last night where the sanitiser was served on a silver platter. pic.twitter.com/4hZW1ScKLb
glengyron Change your avatar to pink to stop covid-19.
ideasimprove If anyone is stuck at home tonight and needs a cocktail recipe, tweet me your ingredients. I’ll tell you what to make.
If you had to imagine the sort of cunt who’d be a “property technology entrepreneur” what do you think they’d look..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xX
KetanJ0 Both #CoronaVirus and #ClimateChange will be subject to Y2k Syndrome - where significant effort is put into avoidin..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…yY
AndrewPStreet Morrison has finally accepted economic reality, which is praiseworthy - and has also proved that the refusal to do..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eU
@zyx2k This is a good plan.
kcolbin We are hosting a free virtual global summit on COVID-19 with 20+ hours of content and speakers/sessions from 10 cou..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Gg
kcolbin Here is the thing to understand about flattening the curve.
It only works if we take necessary measures before the..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…eM
Fri plan, draft: Slow start; prep for then 1130 podcast recording (someone else’s not mine); administrivia; story p..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xx
TK9582 on a scale from 0 to 12 monkeys we are at 8 monkeys right now
I finally caught that Sky News interview with Scott Cam from Tuesday. What a debacle. skynews.com.au/details/_61399…
@TVofCarringbush Good to hear.
@Airminded As opposed to the whine you’d hear from a continent away if it had?
@garystark Not really my thing, this boomer music. :)
So anyway I guess that everyone’s feeling confident about the future again now that Scott Morrison has Addressed the Nation?
DrakeGatsby Salt: My rap name will be Salt
Pepa: I’ll be Pepa
Spinderella: Lol I guess I’ll be Paprika?
Salt: NO. YOU DO..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…jq

It’s going to one of those lovely Sydney days again. pic.twitter.com/ZlKagEWtIn
Friday. You should never have trusted them. Friday.